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Yue 1
Xiaoxi Yue
Professor Stanton
English Composition 101
06/12/2019
Branick Supports Klass
Various scholars have different perspectives concerning being a
member of a given
profession and pretending or imitating one. Perri Klass passes
through a lot of events to
categorize herself to be closer to the doctor rather than talking
like a doctor. The article, ‘Learn
the Language’ by Klass presents the main thematic concerns
about the special language that
professionals in the medical context use. Klass experience
various challenges when she is
working as an intern in a medical field considering that she is
just a student who has no
experience about the professional language in the settings.
However, she later learns the
language and goes closer to become a doctor instead of just
talking like one. On the other hand,
the article, ‘Coaches Can Read, Too: An Ethnographic Study of
a Football Coaching Discourse
Community’ by Branick explores how coaches set the goals as
one way of accomplishing their
professional goals and strive using several steps to accomplish
those steps. Branick’s ideas
support Klass ideas in many ways based on professional
contexts and how students or
professionals in the respective fields endeavor to achieve their
goals. This essay seeks to evaluate
how Branick and Klass’ thematic concerns regarding
professional development matches.
Both authors believe that there is a need for the professionals to
have a goal that they will
strive to accomplish before commencing the journey towards
developing their professionalism.
According to Klass, one need to know the pattern and not just
the words while learning the
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you're focused on the texts here (good), but vague wording
makes it tough to see the connections you're trying to establish
Yue 2
language. The statement, “Harvey’s concern over not knowing
the menu was not surprising. The
menu is the most important printed text used by waiters and
waitresses and not knowing it can
dramatically affect how they are able to do their work…” (Klass
304) implies that understanding
the work without pattern is likely to lead to failure in one’s
endeavor. Employees need to know
both their work pattern and special language used in their
professions for efficiency. They need
to know and understand the language used such as wordings in
their workplace alongside
understanding their work. Professionalism is achieved when a
professional understands his
career goals and the path it takes to attain the goals. On the
other hand, Branick points out that
coaches have a goal to develop as people. According to him, “to
be a member of the profession,
the members of the community need to have a shared goal for
them to be successful in their
profession (Branick 398)”. Branick posits that members of a
profession have a shared goal they
need achieved. With the shared goal in mind, they identify
strategies or paths that will lead them
to the shared goal. An individual is considered successful in his
profession if he works through
the established strategies towards attaining the shared goal
through his work. The two authors
share a common idea that a member who ought to accomplish
something in life ought to
establish means and strategies and work by them to achieve
those objectives.
Being in a community implies that one knows the pattern and
grammar as well as words.
Branick argues that “it is effective to include characteristics and
background of your discourse
community to allow the reader to understand what their D.C is
about if they do not have a
previous background or knowledge about the text (Branick
388).” This means that members of a
community speak in the same language that they can easily
understand. Even without previous
knowledge, they can understand the context since they know the
language they use. This
argument supports Klass’ idea that “one need to understand the
pervasive metaphors, how they
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this is from Mirabelli's text
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tough to follow sentence
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since this quote is about printed text, it's tough to see what you
mean by "patterns" here
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suggests the authors are saying different things -- are they?
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valid statement here, but very broad (not offering much
meaning yet)
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where is this quote from?
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so far, none of your citations seem to match with the pages in
the book -- what version are you using?
Yue 3
are used (Klass 320)” to imply being a member of a language
community. They understand the
wordings and terminologies used thus fit in a particular
language community. The arguments
from these authors justifies that the community where the
players are raised contribute much on
how they learn different contexts and how their respective
professionalisms are developed
including special language used in the profession. For instance,
the hospital where Klass went for
an internship program influenced the language that she
established from the medical context
while the Coach, Branick established his language based on his
trainees and the environment
where he conducted his lessons.
The two articles also justify how using special words in a
community help people to
engage with one another to achieve specific objectives.
According to Branick, “There are many
terms that are involved in football coaching communities that
may not make sense to most
people but, among a team, makes perfect sense and help the
community better do its work and
achieve its goals (Branick 8)”. This means that to fit in a
profession, a member must be
knowledgeable about the language used including special words
used in that profession.
Different professions have different special words they use that
members of the community must
know. This is because certain words are only applicable to a
given context even though they may
not be sensible in other settings. A team that is well organized
understands all special words
since they are regularly used and may seem meaningless if they
have no clue about them.
Branick’s notion about the application of special words to
engage people to achieve a given goal
supports Klass’ argument who states that, “staff in hospital have
their own words they use to
maintain certain distance from the patients (Klass 398).” This
means that the staff in hospital will
use a language to communicate that patients may not
understand. They will use certain words
such as medical terminologies that may sound meaningless to
their patients. The later implies
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are you quoting from our class notes?
it's important that you use evidence taken directly from the
course texts -- you need direct support for your claims
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your point here about grammar and patterns is valid, but keep in
mind that you already discussed this in body 1
each body needs to present a new point
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you've already said quite a bit about the use of special wording
for each body paragraph, you need to offer a new claim, to
move your overall argument forward
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also, keep in mind Klass's point about talking like a doctor vs
being one -- she's saying that being part of a language
community involves much more than just the use of special
words
Yue 4
that special words that doctors use to achieve a given goal of
providing services are not familiar
to the patients despite all being in the same environment.
Hence, the two authors justify how
members of a given profession can apply special words to
engage one another to achieve the
goals in their respective contexts.
Besides using the same language or special words in a
profession, both authors support
the idea that language communities must continue improving
their craft through learning new
aspects that will aid their endeavor to achieve given goals, help
their peers work with them, and
people who they see or engage in the same environment.
Branick provides that “the fourth
quality is being a learner… they must learn about the newest
trends, philosophies, and strategies
in the sport that they coach (Branick 385)”. This illustrates that
apart from understanding
language used in a profession, the professionals should be
willing to learn new aspects for
enhanced career growth. For instance, coaches have different
roles to play depending on their
specific sports that they lead and their precise goals set before
they started undertaking their
roles. However, learning is endless and coaches ought to learn
continuously to ensure that they
familiarize themselves with the new strategies established in the
context. This argument supports
Klass’ who argues that medical context is dynamic and doctors
have to learn new aspects such as
new diseases and cure being established for their cause
considering that patients expects them to
end those diseases regardless of whether they are old or new.
She provides that, “doctors have to
learn new aspects such as new diseases and cure…… (Klass
388)”. This means a professional
should be willing to learn new aspects in his career over time.
He needs to increase his pool of
knowledge in new aspects from time to time.
In conclusion, Branick’s ideas support Klass ideas in many
ways based on professional
contexts and how students or professionals in the respective
fields endeavor to achieve their
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again, where is this quote from? you seem to be quoting from
our class notes
we talked in class about how Klass actually DOESN'T discuss
how the medical field is always changing (if you were to revise,
you'd need to rework the claim here)
Yue 5
goals. The two articles have many common notions pertaining to
being a coach and being a
doctor respectively. For instance, Branick’s ideas and Klass
believe that there is a need for the
professionals to have a goal that they will strive to accomplish
before commencing the journey
towards developing their professionalism. The two articles also
justify how using special words
in a community help people to engage with one another to
achieve specific objectives. In
addition, the two articles back up the idea that language
communities must continue improving
their craft through learning new aspects that will aid their
endeavor to achieve given goals, help
their peers work with them, and people who they see or engage
in the same environment. Hence,
Branick supports Klass’ ideas in various aspects despite the two
articles addressing different
professions.
On my honor, I have neither received nor given any
unauthorized assistance on this assignment
Dr. Stanton
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There is some potential value here, Xiaoxi, but so far you're not
yet indicating an adequate understanding of the texts. The key
indicator of this is your use of evidence -- you seem to be
mostly quoting from our class notes, rather than from the actual
texts. The page numbers also don't seem to match up with the
texts. Which version of the textbook are you using? Please be
sure to review my notes on this.
My other main concern here is that you repeat certain broad
ideas throughout your essay. As I mention in my comments, it's
important that each body paragraph in your essay present a new
idea, a new connection b/w the texts, so that your argument
continues to move forward and get stronger with each new body
section. If you revise, I'd recomment working with me and/or a
tutor first, to build a strong outline for your paper, before you
start building body paragraphs.
Be sure to review all my notes and to let me know if you have
questions.
GRADE: D
Zhenyi Han
Stanton Courtney
English Composition 101
Date:06/12/2019
Code In Peacetime
Have you ever used “ASAP” when you chat with your friend? I
believe that everyone knows
it means “as soon as possible” and uses it in daily life. People
use abbreviation when typing with
friends and families because it saves time and is convenient.
People use abbreviations in other
aspects as well. It is also called “jargon” or “term” when it
becomes technical. In Perri Klass’s
article “Learning the Language,” she talks about the discourse
community in the medical field and
argues that people use jargon for certain purpose. Klass argues
that when being a member of a
profession, people will no longer feel strange about hearing or
saying the jargon. Apart from the
medical industry, the use of jargon is not uncommon in other
fields. For instance, Sean Branick
talks about how literacy is engaged in football and consider
coaches as a discourse community in
his article named “Coaches Can Read, Too”. He supports
Klass’s idea about using special language
to reduce stress by presenting how to motivate players. They
also have similarities in using jargon
to deliver important information. After that, Branick
complicates Klass’s idea about baseball
metaphor in medical situations and learning a new language by
presenting setting goals in football
coaching and using play-calling sheet.
Klass argues that using special language can reduce stress and
increase the sense of closeness,
which is reflected by Branick’s idea about how to motivate
players. According to Klass, “[Y]ou
never say that a patient’s blood pressure fell or that his cardiac
enzymes rose. Instead, the patient is
always the subject of the verb: “He dropped his pressure.” “He
bumped his enzymes” (344).
Basically, Klass is trying to say that when patients have a
problem in the midnight, the intern has to
come over to solve the problem; but no one would be happy
being woken up in the midnight. That
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good -- establishing clear connections here
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this last sentences is tougher to follow -- unclear how
metaphors and learning relate to presenting goals and play-
calling sheets
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is the reason why they imply that patients did it and create a
problem and why they are blaming
patients for the problems in order to let off steam. The similar
reason exists in the football field
which indicates the ability to motivate players. Branick said,
“…[T]here are many types of players:
“There are some that like to yell and scream and get excited.
There are others who don’t play well
like that, who are a little quieter and keep it within themselves
but still very motivated” (390).
Branick is saying that by motivating players, coaches strengthen
the sense of closeness with them
while helping them to release their stress. No matter scream it
out or keep it inside, they clear
people’s mind either way. The way is different as it depends on
different personalities, but the
outcome is the same. Whether blaming patients for creating
problems or screaming out, the purpose
of both approaches is to make people do a better job by either
releasing the stress or increasing the
sense of closeness.
Releasing stress is just one of many purposes; Klass suggests
that using jargon in the medical
field can maintain some distance between doctors and patients,
while Branick conveys his idea
about players using Lexis to communicate with each other
during the game. Klass states that
“Naturally, we’re worried about adeno-CA,” the intern can say
to the medical student, and lung
cancer need never be mentioned” (346). She indicates that
doctors can use jargon to avoid
mentioning fatal disease to reduce patients’ emotional impact.
“Adeno-CA” means nothing to a
person who is not in the medical field, but it represents lung
cancer to the doctors, which enable
doctors to communicate better to each other as well as make
patients calm. As an example in
football, like what Branick said, “This lexis is also important
because the lexis varies from team to
team, so if the opposing team hears it, they will not know what
it means” (388). It works the same
way as “adeno-CA,” and it is like dog-whistle politics. The
players are using terms which is only
meaningful to specific people who are expected to get the
information. Both methods provide the
same purpose to transfer information to a certain group of
people and to try not to tell people who
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yes -- good! THIS is the idea that ties the texts together, right?
Language communities find ways to help members do a better
job
this is a great point, but you need to make this clear earlier in
the paragraph, so your reader can follow the claim more easily
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another excellent point here! you're doing avery nice job of
seeing the more fundamental connections b/w the texts
as with body 1 though, your paragraph would be stronger if you
established this specific connection earlier, particularly in the ts
are not expected to know. All in all, this kind of language is
expected to achieve communities’
certain goal.
Branick talks about setting goals in the football field with a
discourse community, which
complicates Klass’s idea about using baseball metaphors in the
medical field. According to Klass,
baseball metaphor is very pervasive in the medical area. For
instance, when doctors have a new
patient, they use “I got a hit” instead of directly saying “I got a
new patient.” If we consider it in a
baseball game, what would mean to be winning? The answer is
“to get as few new hits as
possible” (345) Branick complicates this idea by saying, “There
is always the goal of winning the
game” (387). In the football game, there is always a side to win
the game, but in the medical field,
doctors are not competing with each other either the patients.
Therefore, there is no real winning
involved in the medical situation. Despite Klass says that to win
is to get as few new hits as
possible, no one really sets that goal. Technically it is not really
a “goal”. A “goal” has a clear target,
which could be “get an A on final” or “make a million per
year.” But here, “few new hits” does not
say how many is “few” and people would never say “I did it, I
achieved that goal.” It is a purpose
rather than a goal because it exists for people to pursue instead
of achieving. People sets goals then
try very hard to achieve them, and the key of the whole process
of trying hard is “how.”
Branick presents “genres” in the discourse community of
football coaching staff, which
complicates Klass’s idea about learning a new language by
taking practice. A genre is a text that
makes people’s communication facilitative. According to
Branick, there is a play-calling sheet that
helps the coach remember “all the plays they have and what
situation that the plays are favorable
in” (388). It is said that if the coach has this sheet, he does not
need to remember the names of all
the plays on his own. However, in a medical situation, there is
no such a sheet that tells the names
of medical situations and explain when to use them. There may
be some book which allows people
to learn and to understand the medical knowledge, but there is
absolutely no sheet for a doctor to
look at. Just imagine when people see a doctor, after explaining
what is happening to their body the
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I see your point here about purposes vs goals and how one
profession entails competition and the other doesn't, but it's
tough to see the overall message here about language
communities
what do the ideas here tell us about language communities,
more broadly? is there a larger message to be found here?
doctor says: “Wait a minute, let me look at my sheet. Your
situation has to be somewhere on my
sheet.” Klass indicates that learning has a process by saying “At
first you may notice the new and
alien assumptions every time you put together a sentence, but
with time and increased fluency you
stop being aware of them at all” (346). Klass suggests that when
people start to learn a new
language, it is normal to feel strange about it. After practicing it
for a certain time, that sense of
strangeness will fade away till people no longer feel it.
When people stop feeling the sense of strangeness, he would
become a member of a
profession. Klass argues that talking professionally is easy as
people just need to memorize the
jargon that will work. The hardest part is being a real member
of a profession, which indicates
understanding the jargon, the structure, and the logic behind it.
Meanwhile, Branick supports and
complicates her idea by using the discourse community in the
football coaching area. Jargon
contributes to people’s communication; just like back to days of
the war, countries used complicated
code to deliver significant information.
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true, but then Branick says something different, right? coaches
can't necessarily memorize all the plays --> so what's the
determining factor here? why can some professions rely on
memory and some can't? (more to say here)
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This shows great progress, Zhenyi. You've organized your
paragraphs well, and you're maintaining strong focus on the
specific prompt. I'm also glad to see you engaging some very
thoughtful ideas here!
In your first couple of body paragraphs, see my notes on
establishing your specific claims earlier. Your ideas in those
sections are quite good, but you tend to state them most clearly
at the ENDS of the paragraph's, which diminishes their power to
persuade your reader. See my notes there.
In your last couple of body paragraphs, the connections you're
trying to make b/w the texts are a bit tougher to see,
particularly in body 3. Be sure to review my comments on these
sections carefully.
Please look through all my notes and let me know if you have
any questions.
GRADE: C+/B-
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(slash grades indicate that your paper quality is at the midpoint
between two specific grades; it's a bit stronger than the first
grade, but not quite fully to the second one yet)
Works Cited
Branick,Sean. “Coaches Can Read, Too.” Writing about
Writing, 3rd ed., New York: Macmillan
Learning, 2017, pp. 384–392.
Klass,Perri. “Learning the Language.” Writing about Writing,
3rd ed., New York: Macmillan
Learning, 2017, pp. 344–346.
HONOR PLEDGE
On my honor, I have neither received nor given any
unauthorized assistance on this essay.
Printed name here: Zhenyi Han
Date: 06/12/2019
Paper #: 2

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  • 1. Yue 1 Xiaoxi Yue Professor Stanton English Composition 101 06/12/2019 Branick Supports Klass Various scholars have different perspectives concerning being a member of a given profession and pretending or imitating one. Perri Klass passes through a lot of events to categorize herself to be closer to the doctor rather than talking like a doctor. The article, ‘Learn the Language’ by Klass presents the main thematic concerns about the special language that professionals in the medical context use. Klass experience various challenges when she is working as an intern in a medical field considering that she is just a student who has no experience about the professional language in the settings.
  • 2. However, she later learns the language and goes closer to become a doctor instead of just talking like one. On the other hand, the article, ‘Coaches Can Read, Too: An Ethnographic Study of a Football Coaching Discourse Community’ by Branick explores how coaches set the goals as one way of accomplishing their professional goals and strive using several steps to accomplish those steps. Branick’s ideas support Klass ideas in many ways based on professional contexts and how students or professionals in the respective fields endeavor to achieve their goals. This essay seeks to evaluate how Branick and Klass’ thematic concerns regarding professional development matches. Both authors believe that there is a need for the professionals to have a goal that they will strive to accomplish before commencing the journey towards developing their professionalism. According to Klass, one need to know the pattern and not just the words while learning the Dr. Stanton
  • 3. Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton
  • 4. Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton
  • 5. Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton
  • 6. Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton
  • 7. Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Text Box you're focused on the texts here (good), but vague wording makes it tough to see the connections you're trying to establish Yue 2 language. The statement, “Harvey’s concern over not knowing the menu was not surprising. The menu is the most important printed text used by waiters and waitresses and not knowing it can dramatically affect how they are able to do their work…” (Klass 304) implies that understanding the work without pattern is likely to lead to failure in one’s endeavor. Employees need to know both their work pattern and special language used in their professions for efficiency. They need to know and understand the language used such as wordings in their workplace alongside understanding their work. Professionalism is achieved when a professional understands his
  • 8. career goals and the path it takes to attain the goals. On the other hand, Branick points out that coaches have a goal to develop as people. According to him, “to be a member of the profession, the members of the community need to have a shared goal for them to be successful in their profession (Branick 398)”. Branick posits that members of a profession have a shared goal they need achieved. With the shared goal in mind, they identify strategies or paths that will lead them to the shared goal. An individual is considered successful in his profession if he works through the established strategies towards attaining the shared goal through his work. The two authors share a common idea that a member who ought to accomplish something in life ought to establish means and strategies and work by them to achieve those objectives. Being in a community implies that one knows the pattern and grammar as well as words. Branick argues that “it is effective to include characteristics and background of your discourse community to allow the reader to understand what their D.C is about if they do not have a
  • 9. previous background or knowledge about the text (Branick 388).” This means that members of a community speak in the same language that they can easily understand. Even without previous knowledge, they can understand the context since they know the language they use. This argument supports Klass’ idea that “one need to understand the pervasive metaphors, how they Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Text Box
  • 10. this is from Mirabelli's text Dr. Stanton Text Box tough to follow sentence Dr. Stanton Text Box since this quote is about printed text, it's tough to see what you mean by "patterns" here Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Text Box suggests the authors are saying different things -- are they? Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Text Box valid statement here, but very broad (not offering much meaning yet) Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton
  • 11. Text Box where is this quote from? Dr. Stanton Text Box so far, none of your citations seem to match with the pages in the book -- what version are you using? Yue 3 are used (Klass 320)” to imply being a member of a language community. They understand the wordings and terminologies used thus fit in a particular language community. The arguments from these authors justifies that the community where the players are raised contribute much on how they learn different contexts and how their respective professionalisms are developed including special language used in the profession. For instance, the hospital where Klass went for an internship program influenced the language that she established from the medical context while the Coach, Branick established his language based on his trainees and the environment where he conducted his lessons. The two articles also justify how using special words in a
  • 12. community help people to engage with one another to achieve specific objectives. According to Branick, “There are many terms that are involved in football coaching communities that may not make sense to most people but, among a team, makes perfect sense and help the community better do its work and achieve its goals (Branick 8)”. This means that to fit in a profession, a member must be knowledgeable about the language used including special words used in that profession. Different professions have different special words they use that members of the community must know. This is because certain words are only applicable to a given context even though they may not be sensible in other settings. A team that is well organized understands all special words since they are regularly used and may seem meaningless if they have no clue about them. Branick’s notion about the application of special words to engage people to achieve a given goal supports Klass’ argument who states that, “staff in hospital have their own words they use to maintain certain distance from the patients (Klass 398).” This
  • 13. means that the staff in hospital will use a language to communicate that patients may not understand. They will use certain words such as medical terminologies that may sound meaningless to their patients. The later implies Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Text Box are you quoting from our class notes? it's important that you use evidence taken directly from the course texts -- you need direct support for your claims Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Text Box your point here about grammar and patterns is valid, but keep in mind that you already discussed this in body 1
  • 14. each body needs to present a new point Dr. Stanton Text Box you've already said quite a bit about the use of special wording for each body paragraph, you need to offer a new claim, to move your overall argument forward Dr. Stanton Text Box also, keep in mind Klass's point about talking like a doctor vs being one -- she's saying that being part of a language community involves much more than just the use of special words Yue 4 that special words that doctors use to achieve a given goal of providing services are not familiar to the patients despite all being in the same environment. Hence, the two authors justify how members of a given profession can apply special words to
  • 15. engage one another to achieve the goals in their respective contexts. Besides using the same language or special words in a profession, both authors support the idea that language communities must continue improving their craft through learning new aspects that will aid their endeavor to achieve given goals, help their peers work with them, and people who they see or engage in the same environment. Branick provides that “the fourth quality is being a learner… they must learn about the newest trends, philosophies, and strategies in the sport that they coach (Branick 385)”. This illustrates that apart from understanding language used in a profession, the professionals should be willing to learn new aspects for enhanced career growth. For instance, coaches have different roles to play depending on their specific sports that they lead and their precise goals set before they started undertaking their roles. However, learning is endless and coaches ought to learn continuously to ensure that they familiarize themselves with the new strategies established in the context. This argument supports
  • 16. Klass’ who argues that medical context is dynamic and doctors have to learn new aspects such as new diseases and cure being established for their cause considering that patients expects them to end those diseases regardless of whether they are old or new. She provides that, “doctors have to learn new aspects such as new diseases and cure…… (Klass 388)”. This means a professional should be willing to learn new aspects in his career over time. He needs to increase his pool of knowledge in new aspects from time to time. In conclusion, Branick’s ideas support Klass ideas in many ways based on professional contexts and how students or professionals in the respective fields endeavor to achieve their Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Text Box again, where is this quote from? you seem to be quoting from our class notes we talked in class about how Klass actually DOESN'T discuss how the medical field is always changing (if you were to revise,
  • 17. you'd need to rework the claim here) Yue 5 goals. The two articles have many common notions pertaining to being a coach and being a doctor respectively. For instance, Branick’s ideas and Klass believe that there is a need for the professionals to have a goal that they will strive to accomplish before commencing the journey towards developing their professionalism. The two articles also justify how using special words in a community help people to engage with one another to achieve specific objectives. In addition, the two articles back up the idea that language communities must continue improving their craft through learning new aspects that will aid their endeavor to achieve given goals, help their peers work with them, and people who they see or engage in the same environment. Hence, Branick supports Klass’ ideas in various aspects despite the two articles addressing different professions.
  • 18. On my honor, I have neither received nor given any unauthorized assistance on this assignment Dr. Stanton Text Box There is some potential value here, Xiaoxi, but so far you're not yet indicating an adequate understanding of the texts. The key indicator of this is your use of evidence -- you seem to be mostly quoting from our class notes, rather than from the actual texts. The page numbers also don't seem to match up with the texts. Which version of the textbook are you using? Please be sure to review my notes on this. My other main concern here is that you repeat certain broad ideas throughout your essay. As I mention in my comments, it's important that each body paragraph in your essay present a new idea, a new connection b/w the texts, so that your argument continues to move forward and get stronger with each new body section. If you revise, I'd recomment working with me and/or a tutor first, to build a strong outline for your paper, before you start building body paragraphs. Be sure to review all my notes and to let me know if you have questions. GRADE: D
  • 19. Zhenyi Han Stanton Courtney English Composition 101 Date:06/12/2019 Code In Peacetime Have you ever used “ASAP” when you chat with your friend? I believe that everyone knows it means “as soon as possible” and uses it in daily life. People use abbreviation when typing with friends and families because it saves time and is convenient. People use abbreviations in other aspects as well. It is also called “jargon” or “term” when it becomes technical. In Perri Klass’s article “Learning the Language,” she talks about the discourse community in the medical field and argues that people use jargon for certain purpose. Klass argues that when being a member of a profession, people will no longer feel strange about hearing or saying the jargon. Apart from the medical industry, the use of jargon is not uncommon in other fields. For instance, Sean Branick talks about how literacy is engaged in football and consider
  • 20. coaches as a discourse community in his article named “Coaches Can Read, Too”. He supports Klass’s idea about using special language to reduce stress by presenting how to motivate players. They also have similarities in using jargon to deliver important information. After that, Branick complicates Klass’s idea about baseball metaphor in medical situations and learning a new language by presenting setting goals in football coaching and using play-calling sheet. Klass argues that using special language can reduce stress and increase the sense of closeness, which is reflected by Branick’s idea about how to motivate players. According to Klass, “[Y]ou never say that a patient’s blood pressure fell or that his cardiac enzymes rose. Instead, the patient is always the subject of the verb: “He dropped his pressure.” “He bumped his enzymes” (344). Basically, Klass is trying to say that when patients have a problem in the midnight, the intern has to come over to solve the problem; but no one would be happy being woken up in the midnight. That Dr. Stanton
  • 21. Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton
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  • 25. Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Text Box good -- establishing clear connections here Dr. Stanton Text Box this last sentences is tougher to follow -- unclear how metaphors and learning relate to presenting goals and play- calling sheets Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton
  • 26. Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton is the reason why they imply that patients did it and create a problem and why they are blaming
  • 27. patients for the problems in order to let off steam. The similar reason exists in the football field which indicates the ability to motivate players. Branick said, “…[T]here are many types of players: “There are some that like to yell and scream and get excited. There are others who don’t play well like that, who are a little quieter and keep it within themselves but still very motivated” (390). Branick is saying that by motivating players, coaches strengthen the sense of closeness with them while helping them to release their stress. No matter scream it out or keep it inside, they clear people’s mind either way. The way is different as it depends on different personalities, but the outcome is the same. Whether blaming patients for creating problems or screaming out, the purpose of both approaches is to make people do a better job by either releasing the stress or increasing the sense of closeness. Releasing stress is just one of many purposes; Klass suggests that using jargon in the medical field can maintain some distance between doctors and patients, while Branick conveys his idea
  • 28. about players using Lexis to communicate with each other during the game. Klass states that “Naturally, we’re worried about adeno-CA,” the intern can say to the medical student, and lung cancer need never be mentioned” (346). She indicates that doctors can use jargon to avoid mentioning fatal disease to reduce patients’ emotional impact. “Adeno-CA” means nothing to a person who is not in the medical field, but it represents lung cancer to the doctors, which enable doctors to communicate better to each other as well as make patients calm. As an example in football, like what Branick said, “This lexis is also important because the lexis varies from team to team, so if the opposing team hears it, they will not know what it means” (388). It works the same way as “adeno-CA,” and it is like dog-whistle politics. The players are using terms which is only meaningful to specific people who are expected to get the information. Both methods provide the same purpose to transfer information to a certain group of people and to try not to tell people who Dr. Stanton
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  • 32. Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Text Box yes -- good! THIS is the idea that ties the texts together, right? Language communities find ways to help members do a better job this is a great point, but you need to make this clear earlier in the paragraph, so your reader can follow the claim more easily Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Text Box another excellent point here! you're doing avery nice job of seeing the more fundamental connections b/w the texts
  • 33. as with body 1 though, your paragraph would be stronger if you established this specific connection earlier, particularly in the ts are not expected to know. All in all, this kind of language is expected to achieve communities’ certain goal. Branick talks about setting goals in the football field with a discourse community, which complicates Klass’s idea about using baseball metaphors in the medical field. According to Klass, baseball metaphor is very pervasive in the medical area. For instance, when doctors have a new patient, they use “I got a hit” instead of directly saying “I got a new patient.” If we consider it in a baseball game, what would mean to be winning? The answer is “to get as few new hits as possible” (345) Branick complicates this idea by saying, “There is always the goal of winning the game” (387). In the football game, there is always a side to win the game, but in the medical field, doctors are not competing with each other either the patients. Therefore, there is no real winning involved in the medical situation. Despite Klass says that to win is to get as few new hits as
  • 34. possible, no one really sets that goal. Technically it is not really a “goal”. A “goal” has a clear target, which could be “get an A on final” or “make a million per year.” But here, “few new hits” does not say how many is “few” and people would never say “I did it, I achieved that goal.” It is a purpose rather than a goal because it exists for people to pursue instead of achieving. People sets goals then try very hard to achieve them, and the key of the whole process of trying hard is “how.” Branick presents “genres” in the discourse community of football coaching staff, which complicates Klass’s idea about learning a new language by taking practice. A genre is a text that makes people’s communication facilitative. According to Branick, there is a play-calling sheet that helps the coach remember “all the plays they have and what situation that the plays are favorable in” (388). It is said that if the coach has this sheet, he does not need to remember the names of all the plays on his own. However, in a medical situation, there is no such a sheet that tells the names of medical situations and explain when to use them. There may be some book which allows people
  • 35. to learn and to understand the medical knowledge, but there is absolutely no sheet for a doctor to look at. Just imagine when people see a doctor, after explaining what is happening to their body the Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Text Box I see your point here about purposes vs goals and how one profession entails competition and the other doesn't, but it's tough to see the overall message here about language communities what do the ideas here tell us about language communities, more broadly? is there a larger message to be found here? doctor says: “Wait a minute, let me look at my sheet. Your situation has to be somewhere on my sheet.” Klass indicates that learning has a process by saying “At first you may notice the new and alien assumptions every time you put together a sentence, but with time and increased fluency you stop being aware of them at all” (346). Klass suggests that when people start to learn a new language, it is normal to feel strange about it. After practicing it for a certain time, that sense of
  • 36. strangeness will fade away till people no longer feel it. When people stop feeling the sense of strangeness, he would become a member of a profession. Klass argues that talking professionally is easy as people just need to memorize the jargon that will work. The hardest part is being a real member of a profession, which indicates understanding the jargon, the structure, and the logic behind it. Meanwhile, Branick supports and complicates her idea by using the discourse community in the football coaching area. Jargon contributes to people’s communication; just like back to days of the war, countries used complicated code to deliver significant information. Dr. Stanton Dr. Stanton Text Box true, but then Branick says something different, right? coaches can't necessarily memorize all the plays --> so what's the determining factor here? why can some professions rely on memory and some can't? (more to say here) Dr. Stanton
  • 37. Dr. Stanton Text Box This shows great progress, Zhenyi. You've organized your paragraphs well, and you're maintaining strong focus on the specific prompt. I'm also glad to see you engaging some very thoughtful ideas here! In your first couple of body paragraphs, see my notes on establishing your specific claims earlier. Your ideas in those sections are quite good, but you tend to state them most clearly at the ENDS of the paragraph's, which diminishes their power to persuade your reader. See my notes there. In your last couple of body paragraphs, the connections you're trying to make b/w the texts are a bit tougher to see, particularly in body 3. Be sure to review my comments on these sections carefully. Please look through all my notes and let me know if you have any questions. GRADE: C+/B- Dr. Stanton Text Box (slash grades indicate that your paper quality is at the midpoint between two specific grades; it's a bit stronger than the first grade, but not quite fully to the second one yet) Works Cited Branick,Sean. “Coaches Can Read, Too.” Writing about Writing, 3rd ed., New York: Macmillan Learning, 2017, pp. 384–392.
  • 38. Klass,Perri. “Learning the Language.” Writing about Writing, 3rd ed., New York: Macmillan Learning, 2017, pp. 344–346. HONOR PLEDGE On my honor, I have neither received nor given any unauthorized assistance on this essay. Printed name here: Zhenyi Han Date: 06/12/2019 Paper #: 2