3. DEFINITION
Emotional Intelligence is a type of social intelligence that
involves the ability to monitor one’s one intelligence related to
emotions and also respect other people’s emotions and use this
information to guide one’s thinking and action.
Emotional Intelligence is a combination of inter-personal
intelligence and intra-personal intelligence.
While inter-personal intelligence deals with the ability to
understand other people, intra-personal intelligence is the ability
to turn within and understand one’s own feelings and behavior.
4. Emotional Intelligence can be categorized into five major areas:
Self Awareness: Recognizing feelings as these happen. Getting to know the self in
relation to feelings.
Managing Emotions: Managing emotions rather than becoming an emotional
hostage. Taking control over fear, anxieties, anger, sadness…..
Self-Motivation: Choosing and guiding emotions to achieve goals by emotional
self control, curbing impulses and delaying gratifications if need be.
Empathy: Becoming sensitive to other’s feelings. Taking other people’s
personality into account and treating them with respect.
Handling and Building Relationships: Managing one’s own emotions and the
emotions of other people for social competence and skills.
Emotional Intelligence, therefore, is an ability to master one’s own emotions while
helping others to use their emotions positively in life.
5. APPLICATIONS
Emotional Intelligence has various applications. However, the most
significant application is to understand, harness, improve and use
one’s own emotions, feeling and moods to create a positive result in
human interactions, like…..
• How do I manage sorrow?
• How do I manage joy?
• Why do I get angry and “X”?
• Can I be kind to “X” by controlling my anger, or converting it into
positive energy?
6. This list could go on and on with everyday examples, however, the
objective here is to become more emotionally intelligent. So let us look at
some common emotions first.
Joy
Ice-cream, meeting a friend, good food and clothes all give a sense of joy.
This joy is a self-oriented therefore, has the tendency to be short-term. Can
joy be shared? Distributed? Given to others?
Anger
Failure, not getting what one wants, negative responses, teasing, accidents,
bad language….. all stimulate anger, which lends to negative interactions,
which again stimulate more anger and people get stuck in a vicious circle.
7. Can I be calm with people who try to make my angry?
Can I be kind to people who try to make me angry?
Do I have to respond? Or shall I just walk away?
Jealousy & Hate
Why do these feelings come to me? Do I lag behind others?
Are they really better than me? These are the questions which
need serious consideration because honest answers can
convey negative feelings to positive feelings through
accommodation, empathy and rationality.
8. BECOMING EMOTIONALLY
INTELLIGENTLet me manage my emotions, and not let my emotions manage
me!!!!
Becoming emotionally intelligent is a journey, which starts and ends
with “self” or individual. On the way, the person may interact with
thousands of people of various natures but, being unaffected by
them, the individual masters self-emotions in such a way as to bring
harmony in all interactions. Here are some suggestions to help you
start this journey………
9. Understand how you feel and be kind to your feelings. Recognize
your feelings for what they are:
ALL FEELINGS ARE LIKE TOOLS IN YOUR HAND TO PRODUCE A MONUMENT CALLED LIFE.
Often, even negative feelings tell us something is wrong and need correction. Once
this is understood, correction is easy.
Don’t blame
All feelings are produced inside an individual so logically that circumstances,
behavior of others and events should have no control over them. But this is far
from the truth……. We blame instead of taking control and …….. allow the blame
game to take over.
Stop blaming…… Take charge and act maturely.
10. Set goals and use positive emotions to guide yourself
Yes!! Set goals and use your emotions creatively …. Do you remember
elders scolding you for mistakes and bad behavior? Were they really
angry or were they using emotional intelligence to correct your behavior?
Decide which emotion is best suited to achieve a desired result. Set
Goals!!!
Use these three simple steps everyday to start becoming a master of your
emotions. Go For it!!
11. BLOCKS TO EMOTIONAL
INTELLIGENCEThe most common blocks to emotional intelligence are:
Prejudice: All prejudice, narrow-mindedness, favoritism, intolerance, block our
ability to understand our own emotions as well as the emotions of others. Put a
stop to prejudice and a GO for tolerance and progress.
Low Self Esteem: A little boy in an all white class in the days of discrimination
stood up and said…. GOD DIDN’T MAKE JUNK!!” Yes. All of us are unique uncut
sparkling diamonds and we must believe in ourselves and in the beauty of life.
Over Sentimental Behavior: Some people “cry over spilt milk” for hours
instead of going to the market and bring some more milk.
12. Sentiments have a very important role in human relationships but,
when allowed to run wild, these damage the relationships.
Grow Up
Use your sentiments wisely
Make a crying child laugh
Make a sad person happy
Make the lonely feel wanted
There is so much each one of us can do if we always remember the
quote…….
“I cried because I had no shoes until, upon the road, I saw a man
who had no feet.”
13. HARMONY
– Life is nature and nature of harmony.
– A storm is over and the birds begin to sing, an earthquake
comes and goes and trees and flowers start springing up
wherever they get a chance.
– Learn to look at the brighter side of things and show this to
the people around you. Become the kind of person who
spreads sunshine and brightness, wherever the person
goes.
15. 1. Define Emotional Intelligence. How is it useful to you?
2. What are the applications of Emotional Intelligence? Give
examples explaining these applications.
3. List any five positive emotions and five negative emotions.
How can you creatively use each to become more emotionally
intelligent?
4. What steps can you take to become more emotionally
intelligent? Give examples for each.
5. What are the blocks to Emotional Intelligence? Give examples
for your own life.
6. What is Harmony? How can you achieve it?