Gone are days when boys are made of "snips and snails and puppy dog tails" and girls are made of "sugar and spice and everything nice"... or are they? We are barraged with messages about gender and heterosexual norms everywhere we go - our homes, our schools, the media, and more. Do you know what hidden lessons we are learning? How do gender and sexuality affect everything from boys struggling in school to girls dropping out of the STEM pipeline, from sexual harassment to anti-gay bullying, from eating disorders to plastic surgery? How we achieve positive self esteem, healthy identity development, and acceptance of differences?
Historical philosophical, theoretical, and legal foundations of special and i...
Princeton Day School Gender and Sexuality
1. What Boys and Girls Are Made of:
Gender and Sexuality
Princeton Day School
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
Seattle Girls’ School
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
3. Agenda
• Gender Differences
• Gender Bias
• Gender Bias and Girls
• Gender Bias and Boys
• Gender and Sexuality Paradigm
• What Can We Do?
• Discussions
• Resources
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
11. Process Break
Please turn to a nearby neighbor or form
small groups to discuss the following:
How do you experience gender? What
pressures do you feel, and what messages
do you get? What happens as you conform
or defy gender norms?
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
22. Process Break
Please discuss with a partner or two:
Are you…
-internalizing and conforming to gender norms and
stereotypes
-feeling pressured to conform to gender stereotypes
-little affected by gender stereotypes
-actively non-conforming to gender stereotypes
What are the positives and negatives of where you are,
as far as you can tell? How are you rewarded or
punished for where you are?
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
23. What Can We Do?
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
24. What Can We Do as/for Girls?
• Learn the difference between
self-sacrificing and good.
• Talk and think about
something besides your
looks.
• Value the quality of your
relationships, not the
quantity.
• Look to diverse women
mentors.
• Role-Play difficult
conversations.
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
25. What Can We Do as/for Boys?
• Learn the difference
between strong and
tough.
• Talk about feelings and
relationships.
• Make it okay to be
vulnerable.
• Look to diverse male
mentors.
• Understand societal
homophobia.
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
26. What Can We All Do?
•Develop and practice strong interaction and social skills.
• Accept nontraditional family and relationship models.
• Look for diverse role models of all GSD identities.
•Learn about gender and sexuality diversity.
•Analyze “norm”, “normal”, and “good”.
•Seek healthy outlets for your feelings.
•Respect and nurture your true self.
• Make informed choices.
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
27. Media Literacy
• Choose and engage with media critically.
• Clarify your values and seek congruence from media.
• Spend your money critically.
• Think critically about friends and media they engage in.
• Talk to others about media literacy.
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
28. Undoing Gender and
Sexuality Bias
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
30. Presenter Information
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
6th Faculty and
Professional Outreach
Seattle Girls’ School
2706 S Jackson Street
Seattle WA 98144
(206) 805-6562
rlee@seattlegirlsschool.org
http://tiny.cc/rosettalee
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
31. Resources
• Joshua M. Aronson, Ph.D., “Improving Achievement &
Narrowing the Gap,” Learning and the Brain
Conference, Cambridge, MA, November 2003
• Allan G. Johnson, Privilege, Power, and Difference.
• Miss Representation, documentary film on media and
women
• United Nations Population Fund Statistics on Gender
Equality as of 2005
http://www.unfpa.org/swp/2005/presskit/factsheets/facts_gen
• Learning to be critically literate of mass media
http://www.medialit.org/
• Media Guide for Parents and Educators
http://www.commonsensemedia.org/
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
32. Gender Specific Resources
• Jennifer Bryan, various trainings and publications on
gender and sexuality diversity, From the Dress Up Corner
to the Senior Prom
• JoAnn Deak, Ph.D., Girls Will Be Girls: Raising Confident
and Courageous Daughters, How Girls Thrive
• Jackson Katz, Tough Guise, Wrestling with Manhood,
The Macho Paradox
• John Medina, Talaris Research Institute, various studies
on early gender differences in competition and play
• Mary Pipher, Ph.D., Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves
of Adolescent Girls
• Rachel Simmons, Odd Girl Out, Odd Girl Speaks Out,
Curse of the Good Girl
• Michael Thompson, Raising Cain, Speaking of Boys, It’s
a Boy!
Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (http://tiny.cc/rosettalee)
Editor's Notes
Gender, Bias, and Aggression 05/08/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee Introduction - Who Am I? Why This Workshop? Goals and Outcomes?
Gender, Bias, and Aggression 05/08/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
Gender, Bias, and Aggression 05/08/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
Gender, Bias, and Aggression 05/08/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee Keep in Mind - material speaks in generalities and norms. Girls and boys can fall outside of the information given, and they are completely normal. Making blanket assumptions are dangerous, and norms do not define normal or good. Gender norms can easily become Sexism. Even if feeling like the norms don’t apply, because bias affects us, even as we defy them. We are social and interconnected; we cannot be wholly uninfluenced.
Gender, Bias, and Aggression 05/08/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee John Medina - Talaris Institute Watching boys and girls play. Boys play together through competition (Oh yeah? I bet I can toss the ball higher than you!) Girls play collaboratively (Can you toss the ball as high as me? Let ’s try a little higher). Mix boys and girls (G-Wanna toss the ball? B-I bet I can toss the ball higher than you! G-You must not like me… B-What happened?) Rachel Simmons - Odd Girl Out Response to danger. Boys choose “fight or flight.” Girls choose “tend and befriend.” Males see aggression as a way to control their world, females see aggression as an end to relationships. Mary Pipher - Reviving Ophelia Boys see their failure in terms of external factors and see their success in terms of their ability. Girls see their success in terms of luck and hard work and see their failure in terms of lack of ability. Power Dead Even - women/girls will do anything to bring down another woman/girl to their level
Gender, Bias, and Aggression 05/08/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee Cannot attribute all to gender differences. Gender bias plays a huge role. We socialize kids into these behaviors. What happens when boys display behavior on left? “Boys will be boys…” What happens when girls display behavior on right? “Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice!” What happens when gender behaviors don’t match gender expectations? Boys are pushed into sports, fights, getting dirty, building things, scientific investigation by adults and pushed down by peers with words like “Sissy, girl, pussy, fag.” Girls are told to play nice, share, be ladylike, punished harsher for fighting, complimented on looks by adults and put down by peers with words like “butch, jock, bitch, dyke.” Rachel Simmons - Odd Girl Out Ideal girl according to girls = very thin, pretty, blonde, fake, stupid, tall, blue eyes, big boobs, fit, expensive clothes, un-proportional, naked, trendy, popular, boyfriends, smiling, happy, helpless, talking on the phone, superficial conflicts, looks older, girlie, dependent, impractical clothes, manipulative, sex = power, rich, good teeth/clear skin, smart, perfect, romantically attached with someone with status. Anti-girl according to girls = mean, ugly, excessively cheerful, athletic, brainy, opinionated, pushy, dark features, not skinny, imperfections, promiscuous, professional, insecure, dorky, depressed/unhappy, masculine, serious, strong, independent, gay/lesbian, artsy, PMSish, unrestrained, egocentric, not social, hard to get along with, bookish.
Gender, Bias, and Aggression 05/08/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
Gender, Bias, and Aggression 05/08/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
Gender, Bias, and Aggression 05/08/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
Gender, Bias, and Aggression 05/08/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
Gender, Bias, and Aggression 05/08/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
1. Stereotype - A preconceived or oversimplified generalization about an entire group of people without regard for their individual differences. While often negative, stereotypes may also be complimentary. Even positive stereotypes can have a negative impact however, simply because they are broad generalizations. The stereotypes we hold form the basis of our prejudices. 2. Prejudice - A conscious or unconscious negative belief about a whole group of people and its individual members. When the person holding the prejudice also has and uses the power to deny opportunities, resources or access to a person because of their group membership, there is discrimination. 3. Discrimination - Prejudice plus the power. Discrimination can take many forms, including racism, sexism, heterosexism, ableism, ageism, etc. Many acts of discrimination build up over time, perpetuated against one relatively less powerful social group by a more powerful social group, lead to a group of people being in a state of oppression. 4. Oppression - The systematic subjugation of a group of people by another group of people with access to social power, the result of which benefits one group over the other and is maintained by social beliefs and practices. Because oppression is institutionalized in our society, target group members often believe the messages and internalize the oppression. 5. Internalized Oppression - The "buying into" the elements of oppression by the target group. When target group members believe the stereotypes they are taught about themselves, they tend to act them out and thus perpetuate the stereotypes which reinforces the prejudice and keeps the cycle going.
Gender, Bias, and Aggression 05/08/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
Gender, Bias, and Aggression 05/08/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee Alternative aggression – relational aggression, indirect aggression, social aggression. Friends and frienemies. Frienemy relationships and abusive relationships.
Gender, Bias, and Aggression 05/08/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee Women make 78 cents to a man ’s dollar. The wage gap has been closing at a rate of less than half a penny a year. If equal pay for women happened right now, across the board, women would gain $319 billion in 2008 dollars. Unequal pay kicks in shortly after college graduation, when women and men should, absent discrimination, be on a level playing field. Women still are segregated into "pink-collar" jobs that are lower skill and lower pay. For example, women make up 87% of child care workers and 86% of the health aides. Women make up 51% of the population. Women comprise 17% of Congress The 2010 mid-term election was the first time women have not made gains in Congress since 1979. 34 women have ever served as governors (compared to 2319 men). 67 other countries have had female presidents and prime ministers. The U.S. is 90 th in the world in terms of women in national legislatures (below Cuba, China, Iraq and Afghanistan).
05/08/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee 53% of 13 year old girls are unhappy with their bodies. That number increases to 78% by age 17. 65% of women and girls have an eating disorder. U.S. women spend $12,000 and $15,000 a year on beauty products and salon services. The number of cosmetic surgical procedures performed on youth under age 19 more than tripled from 1997 to 2007. The average facelift costs $11, 429 (enough to pay for 5 years at community college and 2 years at a state university).
Gender, Bias, and Aggression 05/08/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
Gender, Bias, and Aggression 05/08/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee Separation between head and heart. Conflicts must be dealt with physically. If you do not/cannot, you are open to targeting.
Gender, Bias, and Aggression 05/08/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee Top down and enforcement style leadership. Competition driven in a world that demands more collaboration. Feel like need to make more money. Feel obligation to be the breadwinner. Have a harder time with emotional aspects of parenting. Have a harder time being equal partners in housework.
Gender, Bias, and Aggression 05/08/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee I was told I am smarter, faster, stronger, the player, the breadwinner, etc. but it’s not panning out that way – what’s wrong with me? Depression and suicide. Sexual harassment and rape.
Gender, Bias, and Aggression 05/08/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
Gender, Bias, and Aggression 05/08/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
Gender, Bias, and Aggression 05/08/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
Gender, Bias, and Aggression 05/08/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
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Gender, Bias, and Aggression 05/08/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
05/08/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee U.S. advertisers spent $235.6 billion in 2009 (80% of countries in the world have GDPs less than this).
Gender, Bias, and Aggression 05/08/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
Gender, Bias, and Aggression 05/08/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee Final Tidbits: -teach first and refer to later. We have a tendency to see it happen & react with education. -there are times and places for interventions. What is important is that SOMETHING is done in the moment, and that there is ALWAYS follow-up -practice, practice, practice. The more clever, poignant, and effective language comes out on the third try :-) -Did you know that statistically, adults are more likely to comment on girls' looks and boys' skills? -Why do boys experience a big dip in self esteem as they enter elementary school and girls experience it as they enter middle school? -Why is bullying still most severe for boys when they are or are assumed to be gay? -How can we fully support our children no matter where they lie in the gender spectrum while protecting them from the pressures and bullying they face from peers should they not conform to gender norms? -Where is the balance between religious inclusivity and gender and sexuality inclusivity? -What if you believe in the "rightness" of certain gender and heterosexual norms?
Gender, Bias, and Aggression 05/08/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee
Gender, Bias, and Aggression 05/08/12 Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee