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Brooklyn Friends School Gender and Sexuality Diversity


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90 minute session delivered to Lower School parents. Gone are days when boys are "snips and snails and puppy dog tails" and girls are "sugar and spice and everything nice"... or are they? Children are barraged with messages about gender and heterosexual norms everywhere they go - their homes, their schools, the media, and more. Do you know what hidden lessons they are learning? How do parents and guardians provide safe environments for positive self esteem, healthy identity development, and acceptance of differences?

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Brooklyn Friends School Gender and Sexuality Diversity

  1. 1. Brooklyn Friends School Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee Seattle Girls ’ School What Boys and Girls Are Made of: Supporting Healthy Gender and Sexual Identities of Children Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (
  2. 2. About Seattle Girls ’ School Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (
  3. 3. Introductions Warm-Up Questions Please introduce yourself with your name, your child, and your child’s grade. What brought you to today’s session? What would you like to get out of our session today? Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (
  4. 4. Agenda <ul><li>Gender Differences </li></ul><ul><li>Gender Bias </li></ul><ul><li>Gender Bias and Girls </li></ul><ul><li>Gender Bias and Boys </li></ul><ul><li>Gender and Sexuality Paradigm </li></ul><ul><li>What Can We Do? </li></ul><ul><li>Discussions </li></ul><ul><li>Resources </li></ul>Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (
  5. 5. Disclaimers and Other Food for Thought Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (
  6. 6. Gender Differences Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (
  7. 7. <ul><li>Brash </li></ul><ul><li>Troublemaker </li></ul><ul><li>Strong </li></ul><ul><li>Competitive </li></ul><ul><li>Physical </li></ul><ul><li>Silent </li></ul><ul><li>Clever </li></ul><ul><li>Mistake-Prone </li></ul><ul><li>Belligerent </li></ul><ul><li>Intuitive </li></ul><ul><li>Well-Behaved </li></ul><ul><li>Delicate </li></ul><ul><li>Cooperative </li></ul><ul><li>Emotional </li></ul><ul><li>Verbal </li></ul><ul><li>Pretty </li></ul><ul><li>Perfect </li></ul><ul><li>Nice </li></ul>Gender Bias Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (
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  13. 13. Girls and Gender Bias Where Does it Lead? Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (
  14. 14. The “Good Girl” in Conflict Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (
  15. 15. The “Good Girl” in the Workplace and Home Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (
  16. 16. Beauty Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee ( The “Pretty Girl” on Beauty
  17. 17. Boys and Gender Bias Where Does it Lead? Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (
  18. 18. The “Tough Guy” in Conflict Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (
  19. 19. The “Tough Guy” in the Workplace and the Home Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (
  20. 20. Psychic Dissonance, Health, and Violence Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (
  21. 21. Gender and Sexuality Paradigm Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (
  22. 22. Process Break My child is MOSTLY: -internalizing and conforming to gender norms and stereotypes -feeling pressured to conform to gender stereotypes -little affected by gender stereotypes -actively non-conforming to gender stereotypes Please gather in affinity groups. Meet, chat, clarify. What are the positives and negatives of where your child is, as far as you can tell? What are the specific questions or concerns that come up for your child ? Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (
  23. 23. What Can We Do? Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (
  24. 24. What Can Parents Do for Girls? <ul><li>Teach the difference between self-sacrificing and good. </li></ul><ul><li>Talk about or compliment something besides her looks. </li></ul><ul><li>Value the quality of her relationships, not the quantity. </li></ul><ul><li>Give her access to diverse women mentors. </li></ul><ul><li>Role-Play difficult conversations with her. </li></ul>Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (
  25. 25. What Can Parents Do for Boys? <ul><li>Teach the difference between strong and tough. </li></ul><ul><li>Talk about feelings and relationships. </li></ul><ul><li>Make it okay to be vulnerable. </li></ul><ul><li>Give him access to diverse male mentors. </li></ul><ul><li>Help them understand societal homophobia. </li></ul>Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (
  26. 26. What Can Parents Do for All? <ul><li>Help them develop strong interaction and social skills. </li></ul><ul><li>• Discuss nontraditional family and relationship models. </li></ul><ul><li>• Show them diverse role models of all GSD identities. </li></ul><ul><li>• Encourage and help them to make informed choices. </li></ul><ul><li>Teach about gender and sexuality diversity. </li></ul><ul><li>Give them healthy outlets for their feelings. </li></ul><ul><li>Respect and nurture their true selves. </li></ul><ul><li>Teach “norm”, “normal”, and “ good ” . </li></ul><ul><li>Share your stories. </li></ul><ul><li>Model the way. </li></ul><ul><li>Stay Involved. </li></ul>Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (
  27. 27. Teach Media Literacy <ul><li>Choose media FOR youth whenever possible. </li></ul><ul><li>Engage in media WITH youth. </li></ul><ul><li>Teach them your values. </li></ul><ul><li>Guide how they spend their money. </li></ul><ul><li>Get to know their friends and the media they engage in. </li></ul><ul><li>Talk to other parents/guardians about media literacy. </li></ul>Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (
  28. 28. Undoing Gender Bias Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (
  29. 29. Questions and Comments Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (
  30. 30. Presenter Information <ul><li>Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee </li></ul><ul><li>6th Faculty and </li></ul><ul><li>Professional Outreach </li></ul><ul><li>Seattle Girls ’ School </li></ul><ul><li>2706 S Jackson Street </li></ul><ul><li>Seattle WA 98144 </li></ul><ul><li>(206) 805-6562 </li></ul><ul><li>[email_address] </li></ul><ul><li> </li></ul>Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (
  31. 31. Resources <ul><li>Joshua M. Aronson, Ph.D., “Improving Achievement & Narrowing the Gap,” Learning and the Brain Conference, Cambridge, MA, November 2003 </li></ul><ul><li>Allan G. Johnson, Privilege, Power, and Difference. </li></ul><ul><li>Miss Representation , documentary film on media and women </li></ul><ul><li>United Nations Population Fund Statistics on Gender Equality as of 2005 </li></ul><ul><li>Learning to be critically literate of mass media / </li></ul><ul><li>Media Guide for Parents and Educators / </li></ul>Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (
  32. 32. Gender Specific Resources <ul><li>Jennifer Bryan, various trainings and publications on gender and sexuality diversity, From the Dress Up Corner to the Senior Prom </li></ul><ul><li>JoAnn Deak, Ph.D., Girls Will Be Girls: Raising Confident and Courageous Daughters, How Girls Thrive </li></ul><ul><li>Jackson Katz, Tough Guise, Wrestling with Manhood, The Macho Paradox </li></ul><ul><li>John Medina, Talaris Research Institute, various studies on early gender differences in competition and play </li></ul><ul><li>Mary Pipher, Ph.D., Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls </li></ul><ul><li>Rachel Simmons, Odd Girl Out, Odd Girl Speaks Out, Curse of the Good Girl </li></ul><ul><li>Michael Thompson, Raising Cain, Speaking of Boys, It’s a Boy! </li></ul>Rosetta Eun Ryong Lee (