CFD 250 Parenting in Contemporary Society

1. Chapter 14
Parenting When Unmarried
1
CFD 250
Parenting in Contemporary
Society

2. Teen Parenting
Lecture 14.1

3. Teen Parents
 Parents under the age of twenty
 80% are unmarried
 Historically, average age of mother was 19
 Mothers were married living with father in more stable family
3

4. Stressful Road to Teen Parenthood
 Teens’ social backgrounds
 Being a child of a teen mother, living in poverty, living in community with a
high level of poverty
 Family relationships
 Parents are less involved and less affectionate, and monitor less well – with
monitoring, teens headed in the direction of becoming teen parent, avoid
pregnancy
 Personality characteristics
 8-year-old girls who were described as aggressive or aggressive and
withdrawn were more likely to become teen mothers, also those young girls
who had school and conduct problems
4

5. Stressful Road to Teen Parenthood
cont.
 Early sexual maturation and high rates of sexual activity
 Mothers had high rates of being sexually abused
 Teen fathers have experienced many of same qualities as
mothers
 From low income families in which parents have antisocial behaviors
 Parents used ineffective disciplinary and monitoring strategies so in
early adolescents boys engaged in rule-breaking behaviors, had
school problems
5

6. Teen Mothers’ Transition to Parenting
 Many mothers had negative reactions when first learned of
pregnancy as did their mothers; later many would say child
saved their lives by forcing them to lead a healthier, more
organized lives in order to care for their child*
 In study of African American mothers’ transitions to
motherhood, family members were often disappointed,
sometimes angry, sometimes overwhelmed with the idea of
another person to feed
6

7. Teen Mothers’ Transition to Parenting
cont.
 About half of teen fathers were positive about birth, 25%
negative, and 14% denied paternity
 Teen mothers were negative about changes in appearance and
loss of freedom, and felt like old ladies
 From positive family support, teen mothers got confidence and
also saw a model for giving support to child
7

8. Mothers’ Relationships with Their
Mothers
 After birth, mothers most often lived with their mothers
because of 1996 legislation requiring young mother to live with
parent or guardian
 Three types of relationship with grandmothers
 Grandmother replaced teen mother in child care
 Assist teen mothers and supplement care
 Assist teen mother and teach how to be good mothers – teen
mother became an apprentice
8

9. Mothers’ Relationships with Their
Mothers
 Two-year study following African American teen mothers and
their babies in three-generation households, found that
 When grandmothers were direct and demanding in an atmosphere
of low conflict with teens, mothers were not harsh or controlling
with their babies
 When grandmothers respected and granted autonomy to teens,
mothers were positive and nurturing with babies
 Grandmothers had the tasks of encouraging growing initiative and
autonomy while also teaching and modeling role of caregiver
9

10. Mothers’ Relationships with Their
Mothers cont.
 When grandmothers take pride in their daughters’ growing
maturity, relationships are most effective
 Grandmothers felt they were left out of intervention and say they
want more training in child development and groups to talk to
other grandmothers
10

11. Transition to Parenting Seen in Study of
Latina Families
 Prenatal stresses were financial stress of new baby, unplanned
nature of birth
 Contrary to other groups, Latina teen mothers’ preparation for
parenthood predicted difficulties later rather than positive
behaviors
 Conflict was lower and cohesion higher when Latina families
emphasized strong family values and obligations and traditional
gender beliefs and teens gained status and power in family by
becoming mothers
11

12. Relationships with Babies’ Fathers
 Parents are often romantically involved though not married and
fathers often stay involved – only 12% of African American
fathers have no contact with children compared to 30% of
European American fathers
 Fathers see their main role as providers, but teen fathers have
little to give and parents have to work together to see that
limited means are spread to different families
12

13. Teen Fathers
 Fathers want to be providers to their children and being
involved with children made them more likely to be providers
 Fathers need all the training that mothers need, especially with
relating to crying babies as they find infant crying very
distressing
 Couples groups of the kinds the Cowans developed have been
helpful to unmarried couples
13

14. Resilient Teen Parenting
 Mothers’ cognitive readiness to have children predicts
children’s cognitive, academic and socioemotional competence
at age 10
 Cognitive readiness is prebirth measure based on:
 Mother’s knowledge about children and their development
 Mother’s expectations of her children
 Mother’s style of responding to children
 Mother’s attitudes about being pregnant
14

15. Resilient Teen Parenting
 Post-birth instability based on three measures:
 Number of residence changes
 Number of school changes
 Number of mothers’ partners
 Post-birth Instability is negatively related to reading scores and
children’s behavioral problems
15

16. Resilient Teen Parenting cont.
 Process of resilient mothers and children is:
 Mothers’ prebirth characteristics are positive with mothers’ ability to
learn, no history of abuse or substance abuse, support from father,
friends, and parents
 Mothers’ pre-birth characteristics combined with infants’ characteristics
predicted effective parenting
 Child’s relationship with mother was most important source of
support but three other factors offered support:
 Relationship with father
 Family’s religious involvement
 Children’s participation in sports and community activities
16

17. Factors Identified in Other Studies of
Effective Teen Parenting
 Mothers were more child-centered
 Mothers were more authoritative in parenting, praising children
and communicating rules in a positive way
17

18. Risks of Teen Parenting
 If stress is high and teens do not get more education and
support, their expectations of children are unrealistic, and as a
result their parenting is insensitive and unresponsive
 Although babies of teen mothers are healthy and do well in
infancy, socioemotional difficulties are seen as 63% of babies in
one study have insecure attachments
 In toddler years, children may have language problems and
cognitive delays at age 3
18

19. Risks of Teen Parenting cont.
 In one study, 72% had one area of delay at age 3; 44% had two
or more areas of delay, and language, cognitive, and social-
emotional problems continued in school and adolescence
 When many risks are present in years of growing up, many girls
are likely to become teen mothers
19

20. Programs for Teen Parents
 Three kinds of programs
 Preventing first teen pregnancy – providing other activities
and knowledge to prevent pregnancy
 Helping teens cope with pregnancy, birth, and caregiving of
children
 Helping teens negotiate transition to adulthood with jobs
20

21. Parenting of Unmarried
Parents
Lecture 14.2

22. American Partner Relationships in
International Perspective *
 Americans marry and cohabit sooner than couples in other Western
countries (Europe and Canada, New Zealand, and Australia)
 Marriage and cohabiting relationships more fragile in US than
Western countries – both married and cohabiting couples less likely to
be together after 5 years
 American children more likely to see parents’ relationships break-up
than children in other countries – about 40% of married parents and
75% of cohabiting parents will not be together when children are 15
compared to percentages in the 20s in other Western countries
22

23. American Partner Relationships in
International Perspective cont.
 Concern is that children’s lives are less stable in US whether
parents are married or cohabiting or single, and many changes
require adaptation that may divert energy from the process of
growth and development
 With regard to births to unmarried mothers, our 40% rate is
about in the middle of western countries with Scandinavian
countries being higher and Spain, Italy, lower and Japan with
the lowest – about 2%**
23

24. Characteristics of Unmarried,
Cohabiting, and Single Mothers
 When women are single or cohabiting, resources available to
them and their children are more limited
 Jason DeParle in an article, “Two Classes, Divided by ‘I Do,’” a
New York Times, July 15, 2012, A1 details how a father’s time
and financial contributions change the lives of family members
when mothers have similar jobs and incomes.
24

25. Supports Are Essential to Deal with
Added Responsibilities and Stresses
 The increased stresses come from many sources: poverty, lower
maternal education so jobs are low-paying, fathers’ inability to
help because of incarceration
 Interestingly, the level of depression was about the same in all
three groups of mothers
 When single mothers reported that they had a person who
could lend money, offer a place to stay, or provide emergency
child care, mothers reported less anxiety and children had fewer
worries
25

26. Coparents for Single Mothers
 Single African American mothers who reported they had a positive
coparenting figure, were warmer in their relationships with children,
more consistent in monitoring, and mothers reported children had
higher grades, and fewer social problems than when coparent
relationship had conflicts
 Coparent figures were maternal grandmothers (31%), fathers (26%),
maternal aunts (11%), older sisters (11%), and others (21%)
 Mothers who had good relationships with fathers prior to the dissolution,
get along better after dissolution
26

27. Coparents for Single Mothers cont.
 A major factor interfering with supportive relationships with
biological fathers is mothers’ distrust of men – 96% of mothers
in one study – 75% of women who did not form trusting
relationships had been abused as children whereas 31% of
those who formed trusting relationships reported abuse – those
who worked through feelings of mistrust were more likely to
form stable relationships in future
27

28. Mothers’ Optimism
 Mothers who have optimistic temperaments and focus on what
is positive in life are able to maintain warm relationships with
children, and manage their behaviors effectively so children
achieve in academically and enjoy school
28

29. Children of Unmarried Parents
 Children take many paths to adulthood and no one outcome
characterizes them all
 Limited finances and many family changes create parental strain
that makes parenting difficult and that impacts children’s
behavior
29

30. Young Children of Unmarried Parents
 In early childhood, across all ethnic groups, partner changes,
that are greater in single parent families, predict increases in
children’s depressed and anxious moods and the greater the
number of partner changes, the more depressed, anxious the
moods
 Living with unmarried parents, regardless of the level of
stability, was related to increases in aggressive behaviors
 The stability of cohabiting parents minimized the development
of aggressive behaviors
30

31. Older Children of Unmarried Parents
 Both single and cohabiting parents report their children, ages 6
to 17, have
 Greater number of school difficulties
 More worries and anxieties
 And in high school, more noncompliant and rule-breaking behavior
31

32. Protective Factors for Children
 Protective factors in child were positive sociability and
attentiveness
 Protective factors in mother were effectiveness as parent and
low level of depression
 Protective factors in parenting were positive parent-child
relationship and father involvement
32

33. Protective Factors for Children cont.
 Protective factors in the larger social context were social
support and few difficult life experiences
 All the protective factors predicted children’s cognitive and
social competence in preschool years except father’s
involvement
 Only child’s qualities and positive parent-child relationship
predicted school readiness with absence of harsh discipline
being most important predictor of later well-being
33

34. Factors Predicting Adult Outcome for
Children
 Children in stable living conditions got more education and were
economically self-sufficient and independent in adult life
 Stability could be achieved in many ways:
 Being adopted by two parents
 Living in stable single parent family
 Living in a three-generational family with parent and grandparent
 Living with grandparents without parent did not predict adult stability
34

35. Programs to Promote Parents’ and
Children’s Effectiveness
 Many interventions have been employed to intervene with parents
 Increasing mothers’ economic resources by collecting child support
from fathers but many do not have income
 Encouraging marriage between unmarried parents but in the absence of
skills for solving conflicts and dealing with substance abuse and
psychological difficulties, that has not been successful
 Focus of interventions has shifted to improving parents’ relationships by
developing emotional coping skills and problem-solving strategies so
whether they stay together or separate, they can work together to
parent children
35

36. Programs to Promote Parents’ and
Children’s Effectiveness cont.
 A second group of interventions has focused on providing more
services directly to the families – health care, food stamps, job
skills training for parents
 Third group of interventions focuses on providing services for
children’s development with home visiting programs, high-
quality preschool programs
36

37. Support of Single Motherhood
 In a forthcoming book, In Praise of Messy Lives, journalism
professor Katie Roiphe, a single mother with two children by
two fathers, says unmarried parenthood is not the threat to
American society, it is an economy that does not generate
enough jobs so young men can work and contribute to the
families they have created, even if they do not live in them
37

38. Single Mothers by Choice
 This is a small advantaged group of women who have made
conscious choice to have child alone, well educated group,
often with good incomes, and many make choices that support
parenting – moving close to family who can provide support
38

39. Children of Single Mothers by Choice
 Carefully controlled study compared children of single parents and
married couples where samples were matched on income, education,
residence, and gender of child
 In preschool years, single mothers reported more stress from working
longer hours, and were more worried about finances than mothers in
married families – Most important difference was that single mothers
had fewer social and emotional supports
 In preschool mothers, observations of mother-child interactions
revealed few differences in two groups except that single mothers
were observed to have a harder time managing sons who were more
noncompliant
39

40. Children of Single Mothers by Choice
cont.
 In preschool, teachers, however, described children of single mothers
as less socially competent, less successful academically, and more
problematic in behavior
 Stressful life events affected children directly by upsetting them and
indirectly by affecting mothers’ patience and positive approach – both
teachers and mothers described school-aged children in high stress
single parent homes as having most difficulties
 When children lived in single parent home low in stress, their behavior
was similar to that of children in two-parent families
40

41. Fathers’ Contributions to Children’s
Development
 Fathers’ presence and psychological contributions are
important no matter what the family structure and fathers’
absence is more important than what caused it
 Children gain by seeing a model of two parents who cooperate,
negotiate, and compromise and present a consistent authority
to children that helps children accept and internalize rules
 Parents need not be married to do this but they must be stable
figures who put children’s welfare first
41

42. Fathers’ Contributions to Children’s
Development cont.
 When parents are not together, fathers must be psychological
presence who nurtures children – if he remains a fun figure who
does not take an active parenting role, his presence is less
important
42

43. Unmarried Nonresident Fathers
 Are more likely to stay highly involved if they have positive
relationship with mothers
 When romantic relationship with mother ends, father is less
involved parent, and becomes more involved if romance is
rekindled
 Extended families promote ongoing involvement of fathers
when they positively support both parents
43

44. Unmarried Nonresident Fathers
 Because often parents do attachments to each other but are
thought to lack skills in maintaining relationships, interventions
have focused on increasing parents’ relationship skills and even
if tie between parents does not continue, they can use these
skills to coparent
 Unmarried fathers who contribute to children’s care or live with
mother and children make constructive life changes and
become more stable and mature
44

45. Social Fathers
 Social fathers who live with mothers though not biological
fathers can have positive impact in children’s lives, reducing
aggressive behaviors in children and increasing health
 Social fathers did not diminish relationship with biological
fathers but complimented it
45

46. Encouraging Father Participation
 James Levine says he has learned three lessons about fathers
 They want to be involved and can be effective parents with
preparation and help
 Single fathers need a support network that guides their behavior
 Women play a key role in supporting men as fathers
46

47. Chapter 14
Parenting When Unmarried
47
CFD 250
Parenting in Contemporary
Society