This document summarizes research on parenting early adolescents during puberty. It discusses the physical, emotional, cognitive, and social changes that occur during puberty and how they impact behavior. Parenting approaches that can help early adolescents adjust include providing information, maintaining healthy routines, setting limits to protect teens from risky decisions, and being a source of comfort. Teens want more autonomy but also still need parental support and guidance. Effective parenting involves open communication, mutual problem solving, and encouraging structured activities that develop skills and passions.

1. Chapter 10
Parenting Early Adolescents
1
CFD 255
Parenting in Contemporary
Society

2. Parenting at Times of Many
Physical Changes
Lecture 10.1

3. Pubertal Changes Have Many Sources and
Effects
SOURCES
 Genes
 Physical influences like health
 Social influences – economic stresses
 Psychological influences – parenting
and living situations
EFFECTS
 Involve many areas of physical change
 Body form and physical appearance
 Structure and functioning of brain
 Sleep patterns
 Emotions
3
• Internal hormonal changes begin pubertal changes so parent may not know
pubertal change has started
• Girls start about 2 years before boys

4. Physical Changes Impact Many Areas of
Behavior
 Academic work
 Less interest in school
 Relationships with parents and sibling
 More conflict
 Social relationships with peers
 More time and interest in peers
4

5. Parenting and Family Life Play a Role in
Early or Late Timing of Puberty
 Mothers’ and fathers’ positive and supportive parenting in
preschool years is related to delays in both boys’ and girls’
sexual development
 Harsh parenting and stress are related to girls’ early maturation
 Girls’ living at home without biological father or with
stepfathers or mothers’ boyfriends are more likely to have
earlier menarche
5

6. Timing of Puberty
Psychological Impacts
 For girls, being on time is related to greater satisfaction with body and
appearance
 Early maturing girls have greater difficulties than late maturing girls
 More conflicts with parents because want more independence
 More conflicts with peers because do not have same interests
 Interests of older teens but not mature enough to fit in with older teens so
more likely to develop social anxiety, depression, and substance abuse
 For boys, early maturation has advantage of greater height and size and may
do well in sports
 African American boys and girls less satisfied if late maturers, than European
Americans and Asian Americans
6

7. Sleep Changes Triggered by Puberty
 Timing of melatonin release changes sleep onset
 Later onset of sleepiness so teens postpone bedtime; getting
less sleep
 Parents have to monitor and regulate so teens get enough
sleep
 Some school districts have instituted later start time for teens
and find academic and emotional benefits
7

8. Emotional Changes Triggered
by Puberty
 Greater intensity of positive and negative emotions is related to
pubertal status; not to age
 Feelings of pleasure are intense and early puberty teens seek out
experiences to give them intense pleasure
 Because planning and executive areas of brain are not mature, early
adolescents can make risky decisions in the pursuit of pleasurable
sensations
 Negative affect more intense, depressed feelings become more
intense following puberty, and more common among girls
8

9. Changes in Brain Structure
and Functioning
 The early adolescent brain will take the next fifteen years to complete
brain development in the areas of the brain responsible for thinking and
planning
 In early adolescence, there is a great increase in the number of synapses
in the frontal and prefrontal areas of the brain, perhaps triggered by
hormones as girls have this increase about a year before boys
 Overproduction of synapses creates a period in which teens’ current
activities create new connections among cells and the elimination of the
least used connections, thus sculpting the developing brain on the basis
of current activities as individuals approach maturity in their twenties
9

10. Changes in Brain Structure
and Functioning (continued)
 Being especially responsive to current environmental stimulation and
being able to form many new connections in the brain at the time of
entering adulthood make human beings highly adaptable to their living
circumstances
 Increased myelination of the nerve cells and pruning of unused
connections make the brain more efficient
 Gaining behavioral control takes a long time, and for a significant amount
of adolescence, especially early adolescence, there is a mismatch between
the highly charged sensation-seeking emotional system and the slow
developing executive system
 Teens sometimes need external brakes that parents may have to apply
10

11. Mismatch in Teens’ Needs and School
Settings
 Early teens need support and less pressure to absorb and adjust to all
their physical change
 School settings that do not meet their needs often cause additional stress
 Middle and junior high schools are
 Less personal; teachers have many students; teens have many teachers;
teachers and students do not know each other well
 More demanding regarding independent work that requires planning over
long periods of time; adds additional stress
 Much larger; more competition; teens may not have a place on teams or in
activities they had in smaller schools
11

12. Implications of These Physical Changes
for Parents
 Teens want to talk to parents about these changes and get
information from them
 Teens’ strong feelings and desires can fuel arguments with parents
because teens want to achieve their goals
 While able to think more objectively, their strong feelings and less
well-developed planning skills put them at greater risk for making
impulsive decisions with possible harmful outcomes
 Parents have to present information in ways teens can hear; books
and pamphlets provide a starting place to talk
12

13. Effective Ways for Talking to Children
about Physical Changes and Sexuality
 Do
 Listen more
 Ask more open-minded questions
 Encourage children to talk
 When both read a book or pamphlet, there is a basis for talking
 Avoid
 Lecturing
 Being judgmental
 When mothers used these guidelines, teens reported feeling more comfortable
talking with mothers and having discussion about birth control
13

14. Talking about Healthy Sleeping
and Eating
 Teens are less likely to be eating healthy food and sleeping
enough, yet they may consider these activities are matters of
personal choice
 Parents need to present these issues as safety and health
matters and having doctors’ views on these matters as
presented in Roizen and Oz book can bolster parents’ views
14

15. Early Adolescents’ Emotional Life
 Increase in negative moods but still have more positive feelings than
negative ones
 More positive feelings at home and more anxiety and nervousness at
school
 Negative feelings related to conflicts with parents and friends
 Negative feelings create spillover from one situation to another
 Conflicts at home lead to poor school work for two or three days
 Negative feelings from problems at school result in conflicts at home
for a few days
15

16. Positive Experiences Buffer Children
from Negative Feelings
 Positive experiences provide an “arena of comfort” where early
teens can escape stress, relax, and feel good
 Early teens of all ethnic groups cited
 Close family relationships as main source of comfort
 Peers provide a second important source
16

17. Self-Esteem
 Girls’ self-esteem decreases and boys have significantly higher
self-esteem
 European American girls feel lower self-esteem if they do not
meet cultural standards for gender behavior
 African American and Latina teens’ adjustment is not clearly
related to gender conformity perhaps because they are more
involved in forming a sense of ethnic identity
17

18. Parents’ Powerful Roles in Helping Early
Teens Adjust to Multiple Changes
 Parents provide information so teens can understand changes
 Parents provide healthy lifestyle routines for teens
 Parents provide external brakes to protect children from high-
risk decisions
 Parents are teens’ main source of comfort in times of change
and stress
18

19. Extra Material
FOR GIRLS
 Hormonal changes begin at
about age 8
 Spurt in height occurs later with
change in secondary sexual
characteristics, and growth in
uterus, vagina
 By menstruation (average age
of 12.5 yrs.) breasts and bodies
are well-developed
FOR BOYS
 Hormonal changes begin at 9,
10
 First visible signs are growth of
testes and scrotum
 Then growth in height, in the
penis, and secondary sexual
characteristics like body and
facial hair
 Voice changes later
19

20. Parents’ Support and
Encouragement of
Teens’ Autonomy
Lecture 10.2

21. Nurturing Environments Promote Well-
Being
 Create benefits in all areas of life:
 Minimize psychological and physical effects of stress and negative
environments
 Increase social and emotional competence
 Limit opportunities for problem behaviors
 Increase psychological flexibility
21

22. Nurturing Environments:
 Minimize biological and psychological toxic events
 Teach and promote effective behaviors that predict adult
competence
 Self-regulation
 Social skills
 Reasoning skills
 Flexible problem-solving
 Monitor and restrict opportunities for negative behaviors
22

23. Parents Show Support to their Teens
through the Following Behaviors
 Cared for them
 Enjoyed spending time with them
 Talked to them
 Believed in them
 Thought they were important
 Gave them gifts and financial provisions for school (reported by teens
outside the US but not by American teens)
23

24. Teens’ Reports of Caring,
Supportive Parents
 Around the World, Teens’ Reports of Caring, Supportive Parents
Predicted Teens’
 Emotional well-being and lack of depression
 Cognitive skills
 Social competence and initiative
 Decrease in antisocial behaviors
24

25. Studies of Ethnic Patterns of Parent-
Teen Closeness in U.S. Reveal
 Teens in European American (EA), Mexican American (MA) and
Chinese American (CA) families all felt equally close to parent
 Teens in different groups spent time in different ways
 EA teens felt closer to fathers than teens in other groups
 EA teens spent time in one-on-one, family leisure activities
 MA teens spent time working with parents and helping them
 CA teens spent time studying and not helping parents
 EA time with parents doesn’t decrease the large amount of time spent
with peers; significantly more time than other groups
25

26. Distinction Between Regulating
Behavior and Regulating Thoughts
 Parents’ regulating behavior has positive benefits as will be
seen
 Parents’ regulating and controlling teens’ thoughts, opinions,
and feelings have negative effects like teens’ feeling depressed
and sad
26

27. Teens Want Autonomy
 Teens accept parents’ moral and social rules and do not want
independence from them
 Teens want more areas of personal choice, not just clothes but
when they do chores or homework and friends
 Problem is what teens consider matters of personal choice such
as when they do chores are areas that parents say are family
rules that impact everyone in the family
27

28. Conflicts over Rules
 Though parents and teens have disagreements, only 5-20% of
families have angry relationships because of conflicts
 Most of time teens go along with parents requests
 In only 18% of arguments do parents go along with teens’ requests
28

29. Judith Smetana’s Advice to Parents
 Recognize children accept your basic moral and social values
 Recognize children’s increasing desire for personal choice is
part of establishing their identity
 Pick your battles and disagree about most important things
 Give teens time to talk about their reasoning about issues to
improve their decision-making skills
29

30. Comparing Conflict in European and Asian
American and Latino Families
 Levels of conflict between teens and parents similar in all
groups despite the differing beliefs in parental authority
 European American culture seemed to affect behavior of all teens
despite cultural beliefs of family
 It is possible American culture will change cultural beliefs of
ethnic groups about parental authority just as it has changed
teens’ behaviors
30

31. Conditions for Parental Monitoring
 Teens tell parents what they are doing and parents do not have to
track them
 Teens tell parents because parents have been warm and supportive so
children feel accepted
 Teens share because they have reciprocal relationships with parents
 When parents have knowledge of teens’ activities, they can regulate it
effectively
 If they know they are going to an event ten miles away where there is
likely to be drinking, they say no
31

32. Benefits of Parents’ Monitoring Teens’
Behaviors
 Teens are less likely to engage in high-risk behaviors like
smoking and drinking
 Less delinquent behavior
 Around the world
 Parents’ knowledge and monitoring is related to teens’ low
substance use and delinquent activity
 Mothers’ knowledge was especially important in predicting
children’s behavior
32

33. When Do Teens Tell Parents About
Their Activities?
 Teens are most likely to tell parents their activities when parents
are accepting, have clear standards, and when teens engage in
few disapproved behaviors
 When they engage in disapproved behavior, teens are more
likely to omit details or not mention an event they went to,
rather than tell an outright lie which they consider a moral
violation
33

34. Mutual Problem-Solving
 At this age when teens want independence and respect, parents are
especially careful to listen to children’s requests, listen to their feelings
and reasoning about situations
 When parents are primarily concerned about health, safety, and moral
issues, teens are likely to listen and respect parents’ wishes though
they may try to convince parents, that the issue should be their
personal choice
 In talks with parents, parents model how to make decisions, and
children can learn a skill that takes practice
34

35. Problem-Solving Requires Four Skills
 Understanding others’ feelings and wishes
 Generating solutions so both parties get at least some of what
they want
 Anticipating consequences of solutions
 Planning behaviors to avoid problems
35

36. Parents Coach and Ask Questions
 Questions can best be framed so the teen has to think in order
to answer the question
 “How will that work?”
 “How will the other person feel?”
 “What will happen if...?”
 Parent acts as coach or guide helping child gain skills over time,
not as an inquisitor
36

37. Teens Need Activities That
Develop Initiative
 Reed Larson has studied teens’ moods and activities and
believes that for optimal development, teens need activities
that
 Challenge them and require effort and work over extended periods
of time
 They do not necessarily seek out such activities though they benefit
from them
37

38. Structured Volunteer Activities
 Parents can encourage participation in volunteer activities of
child’s choice
 Activities meet needs of emotional and brain changes of early
adolescence
 They engage teens’ strong passions
 Passions are directed for the benefit of all
 Volunteer activities help teens develop planning and executive skills
38

39. Supporting Teens’ Identity
Formation and Well-Being
Lecture 10.3

40. Identity Formation
 Process of exploration teens experience as they find out who they are,
what they can do, who they want to be, and their own true inner self
 Four paths to identity formation
 Exploration and commitment, to achieved identity
 Commitment to identity without any exploration, termed identity
foreclosure
 Extended exploration without commitment, termed moratorium
 Drifting without exploration or commitment, termed identity diffusion
40

41. Family Environments that Encourage
Exploration
 For boys, families that accept boys’ expression of strong
opinions and still stay strongly connected to boys encourage
exploration
 For girls, a more abrasive environment in which they are
attached to one parent, but they are challenged and given little
support while parents argue with each other promote
exploration
41

42. Gender Identity
 Girls form a sense of gender identity by measuring themselves
against cultural standards for gender conformity
 Hinshaw believes society sets up impossible standards for girls,
demanding that
 They be feminine, nurturant, and well-liked by boys and girls
 Competitive in school and sports activities
 Perfect and able to meet everyone’s expectations
42

43. Actions to Help Girls Achieve Gender Identity
 Hinshaw believes parents and communities can help girls
escape impossible demands by encouraging them to choose
activities that
 Connect them to larger causes outside themselves
 Causes that benefit other people
 Causes that give teens a sense of purpose in life so they are not so
focused on meeting cultural demands
43

44. Actions to Help Girls cont.
 Mary Pipher believes girls become so focused on needs and
feelings of others that
 Parents must provide homes that offer both protection and
challenges to help girls find their sense of identity
 Girls need activities to help others in order to avoid feelings of self-
absorption which is characteristic at this age
 Helping others stimulates good feelings and satisfactions
44

45. Actions to Help Boys Find a Sense of
Gender Identity
 Pollack believes boys are socialized to be strong, tough, aggressive
and daring to win approval and power; avoid expressing feelings
 Pollack believes parents need to help boys become aware of feelings
and express them by
 Nurturing and staying emotionally connected to boys
 Accepting boys are slower to express feelings
 Giving time in joint activities so boys feel comfortable sharing and have
opportunities to do so
 Talking about their own growing up experiences
45

46. Developing Traditional or Egalitarian
Values
 Boys whose families value traditional gender roles maintain
their families’ values across adolescence
 Boys whose families value more egalitarian gender roles
maintain these values through early adolescence but at age 16
adopt as traditional values as those who always espoused these
values
 It is thought that peers and dating relationships may stimulate
boys to have more traditional values regardless of families’
values
46

47. Developing Traditional or Egalitarian
Gender Roles (continued)
 Girls, in general, have less traditional views of gender roles
because non-traditional values give them more freedom and
choice
 Girls from families with egalitarian values maintain these
through adolescence and never move in the direction of
accepting more traditional views of gender roles
 Girls from traditional families become more egalitarian from 7
to 13, and at age 17 shift only slightly in the direction of
traditional values
47

48. Stages of Ethnic Identity Similar to Stages
of Personal Identity Formation
FIRST STAGE OF ETHNIC IDENTITY
 Teens have no interest in exploring ethnic identity, no interest
in their group’s history or traditions
 If they remain in the first stage without exploration, they are
said to show identity diffusion
 If they automatically accept others’ views of their ethnic group
without exploration, they are said to show identity foreclosure
48

49. Stages of Ethnic Identity Similar to Stages
of Personal Identity Formation
49
SECOND STAGE OF ETHNIC IDENTITY
 Most early adolescents enter second stage, termed
moratorium, in which they explore their group’s history,
traditions, values
 This can be a painful stage as many groups have suffered
difficulties in the past that affect present and create feelings of
sadness

50. Stages of Ethnic Identity Similar to Stages
of Personal Identity Formation
THIRD STAGE OF ETHNIC IDENTITY
 After exploration, teens integrate their personal experiences and
their ethnic heritage and form a sense of achieved identity
 With achieved identity, teens have a sense of confidence and self-
esteem
50

51. Ethnic Identity
 Research confirms movement from diffuse state through
exploration to achieved identity
 However, there can be movement backwards as well
 Some teens who are exploring culture and identity go back to a
more diffuse state
 Significant number of those with achieved identity go back to
exploratory stage, perhaps because of new information or an
upsetting experience, and form a new achieved identity
51

52. Effects of Discrimination on Ethnic
Group Members
 Longitudinal research suggests that perceived discrimination
and prejudice affect groups in several ways
 African American early teens who perceived discrimination
developed feelings of anger, aggression, and depression that were
reduced but not eliminated when parents were warm and
supportive, and teens had good friends
 Chinese Americans who perceived discrimination in early
adolescence reported depression, disengagement from school, and
poor school grades in later adolescence
 Effects of discrimination were more marked for acculturated
students
52

53. Helping Children Establish Positive
Ethnic Identity and Feel Confident
 Parents’ most important role is establishing a warm, secure family
atmosphere in which children feel loved and valued regardless how
others view their group
 While parents may not be able to buffer their children completely
from the effects of discrimination, evidence suggests that a loving
warm relationship with a parent greatly reduces the physiological toll
of stress on children’s bodies
 When parents are discriminated against, they are more likely to feel
depressed, less positive in their parenting, and less warm and
supportive with children
53

54. Helping Children Establish Ethnic Identity
cont.
 Parents need support to support children. In one study, 67% of
African American mothers experienced discrimination themselves,
leading to poorer health and feelings of depression that impacted
their parenting
 Program with single African American mothers to protect their early
adolescent children involved:
 Weaving positive messages into conversations, giving children feelings
of importance
 Teaching children about obstacles their group has experienced
 Focusing on problem-solving to deal with barriers so children achieve
their goals
54

55. Parents’ Roles in Promoting Ethnic
Identity
 Serve as models for children in being a member of their group
 Give children information and exposure to the history, values,
traditions of their culture
 Can engage in problem-solving with children to handle specific
experiences of discrimination
55

56. Chapter 10
Parenting Early Adolescents
56
CFD 255
Parenting in Contemporary
Society