The document discusses clean communication techniques for constructive conflict. It introduces the "dirty dozen" communication methods to avoid, such as ordering, warning, moralizing, and criticizing. It then presents an alternative "clean communication" method of stating facts non-judgmentally using "I" statements about feelings and desired outcomes. The document also covers the technique of empathetic reflection, which involves reflecting back the content and emotions of the other person through paraphrasing and checking for understanding, while communicating care. Exercises are provided to practice these clean communication and empathetic reflection skills.

1. constructive conflict 2:
communication

2. the dirty dozen

3. 1. Ordering, directing, commanding
2. Warning, threatening, promising
3. Moralizing, Preaching, Shoulds and Oughts
4. Advising, giving solutions or suggestions
5. Teaching, Lecturing, giving Logical Arguments
6. Judging, criticizing, disagreeing, blaming
7. Praising, Agreeing
8. Shaming, Ridiculing, Chastising
9. Interpreting, Analyzing, Diagnosing
10.Reassuring, Sympathizing, Consoling, Supporting
11.Probing, Questioning, Interrogating
12.Withdrawing, Distracting, Humoring, Diverting

4. *exercise: dirty dozen charades*

5. 1. when [X] happened
2. it was a problem for me because
[Y]
3. what I want instead is [Z]
4. what do you think?
clean communication

6. *exercise: clean communication*

7. empathetic reflection

8. reflect content and emotions

9. 1. when [X] happened
2. it was a problem for you because
[Y]
3. what you want instead is [Z]
4. do I have that right?
end up with a “clean
summary”

10. 1. show empathy and attention in your
body, face, tone, and choice of words
2. reflect, don’t distort
3. check your understanding
4. communicate your care
5. highlight emotions, summarize content
how to empathetically
reflect

11. *exercise: empathetic reflection*