Define Conflict-when someone‟s behavior is bothering you or offends you.Conflict resolution- is teaching people new ways to work through and resolve disputes without escalating the situation.The real causes of conflict-system problems, ethical issues, differing work habits and HURT feelings.
If I am not part of the problem, there is no solution… Maravelas, 2005 Gossiping, enhancing your status, blaming others creating cliques… The avoider, complainer, pretender, bully, shout and displace? Self -Assessment
Why don’t people resolve their conflicts You think the other person knows better Fear, still need to work together, it may be the boss You allowed it- you deserve it Afraid of what may happen Afraid of becoming aggressiveThe Reality- You are unskilled at Conflict Resolution
Instead of attacking the competence and character of someone – seek a dialogue… Benefits- physical health, effectiveness, relationships, productivity and personal happiness.
Three ways we deal with conflict1. Ignore2. Aggressive3. Appropriately- Assertive
Key Messages about Conflict Conflict is neither good nor bad Conflict is inevitable Conflict does not have to result in winners and losers In conflict both parties tend to believe that their opinion is fact Too often both parties see themselves as innocent victims who represent the side of truth and fairness
1. What „s bothering you? Be specific Don‟t label the person‟s behavior2. What do you want the other person to do?3. What are you going to do? A Climate of Respect and Appreciation Assume Positive Intentions
Thinking patterns- reflexive Word choices Body language- non-verbal messages Listening Eye contact Facial expressions Voice Gestures
The essence of conflict resolution and conflict management is the ability to communicate effectively. People whohave and use effective communicationwill resolve their conflicts with greater ease and success.
•I would appreciate•Can we•Several times we have talked about this--- Iam_________ feeling inserted•It has been brought to my attention•I am concerned•I am confident we can find a solution•I think•I need•I disagree•I didn‟t know
Rude tone of voice Having people ask you to do something “ right now” Employees respond negatively Too busy Let‟s break into group
You only have control of one of the two parties involved in the conflict and resolution. Set ground rules, find common interests, listen, brainstorm and discuss. Train your brain- STOP !!! Think and react slowly- know your triggers
Contact Past New choices Brainstorm Reaction Negotiate Understanding Follow- thru experience Feeling Questions Agreements CONFLICT!!Something A visual and Stop What will it take Agreement/solutiohappens auditory What are the true to move nYour body memory occurs needs? forward? Implementreacts- how explain Ask new Are you willing What can I learn?does that feel What does it questions to communicate? What is possible if– explain remind you of? Can you tell me What would you peopleBreathing Physical more? like to see communicatechanges reaction Begin to negotiate happen? kindly, clearly andThinking You cause Statements like;“I What will it concisely?skills conflict with need” or “I would take? Re-evaluateListening your reactions! like” Brainstormskills
Benefits to good communication and conflict resolution skills- relaxed conversations, cooperation increased, gossip decreased, willingness to address problems and agreements met and kept. People listen to different ideas Increased participation Increased ownership and commitment
Gain awareness of how you present yourself- your confrontation style Assume positive intentions Have a confrontation – when necessary – be kind, clear and concise Learn how to reduce conflict in your life- use humor correctly, be polite, be considerate, don‟t interrupt, be sincere, eye contact,
Westminster’s Communication ContractThe real causes of conflict-system problems, ethical issues, differing work habits and HURT feelings. Practice-Practice-Practice