Evangelistic counseling


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Evangelistic counseling

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  2. 2. The most neglected art, courtesyand necessity today is that oflistening. If as afriend, supervisor, orteacher, you can do more thanbe a good listener, you still willhave done much for many. Hereare some consideration: 3
  3. 3. 1. Hearing is not listening. Hearing doesn’t make communication; listening does.2. Listening must take place at two levels: the level of words and the level of feeling. We’re constantly speaking the language of feelings but rarely listening at that level. If you don’t understand how a person feels, you haven’t understand them. 4
  4. 4. 3. You can’t listen to another unless you’re listening to yourself. If you can’t hear your own feelings, you’ll never hear theirs. Without an awareness of your own feelings, you’ll be sending signals to them that you yourselves don’t perceive. You cannot communicate with another if your own communication system has broken down. 5
  5. 5. 4. Exploration is one thing, argumentation another. Argumentation is the end of listening.5. Just avoiding interruption would be a great leap forward for many.6. No man is an island, people need people and today, more than ever, people need listening.7. The first duty of love is to listen. To listen is to understand. To understand is to listen. 6
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  7. 7. Talking is only one of many ways ofsharing. It may be the least effective. Atouch, a gesture, a tone, a shrug, a wink, ora smile: these and other signs and symbolsare so much more communicative!In fact even your own silence cancommunicate so much. How does thesaying go? “if you don’t understand mysilence, you will not understand mywords.” 8
  8. 8. But perhaps listening says most of all. Listening toanother says:“You are important to me”“You are worth my time and my attention”“You are saying something worth hearing”“You are really an interesting person”“You are O.K.”Listening is powerful. And affirmative. Hardlyanything is more healing – more calming – morenourishing – more loving. 9
  9. 9. A decision to listen is really a decision to love. And we all know how powerful love is. Questions1. When was the last time that somebody listened to you…really listened?2. Make a list of persons you know who are really good listeners. How many are they? What do they have in common? What effects do they have on you or others? 10
  10. 10. “Even the meanestflower that bloomsbrings thoughts too deep for tears” 11
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  12. 12. Evangelistic Counseling is listeningand appropriately responding theventilation of feeling and the sharing ofself by the others and then led him / herto GOD. Not to solve a problem.PRIMARY PURPOSETo assist a person who makes anindividual commitment to JESUSCHRIST 13
  13. 13. 2 Persons Involve in Counseling1. Counselor – the one who counsels2. Counselee – one to be counseled Wherever possible, men should counsel men and women should counsel women. Additionally, ages should be matched up to the greatest extent possible so that young men end up being counseled by a younger man, an older woman by an older woman, etc. 14
  14. 14. If there are insufficient counsellorsbut surplus pastors then pastors canbe used for counseling. If, eventhen, there are not sufficient peopleto permit one-to-one counseling,other mature Christians who havehad counseling experience can berequested to help if they areavailable. 15
  15. 15. 4 Important Qualities of a Good Counselor1. Spiritual mature person – Person of Prayer2. Holiness3. Love of the Scripture4. Emotionally mature 16
  16. 16. Attitudes needed on the part of the counselor1. Availability – to make ourselves available even if only to listen,2. Non-judgmental3. Acceptance – accept the counselee for what she / he is, do not be shocked, scandalized. (ex sexual life)4. Understanding – try to go into his life.5. Confidentiality – “when I share with you, I give you a part of my life” 17
  17. 17. HOW TO LISTEN EFFECTIVELY Good Listening Requires a number of skills, we can learn them by doing:1. Be Motivated to Listen Know your power as a listener. The listener has real power and responsibility in any conversation only when we want to listen to the other person shall be able to overcome faulty concentration and remove the many filters of selective listening. 18
  18. 18. 2. SIT – in such a way as to be able to look at the concern person directly and talk with him comfortably at an eye-to- eye level. Respect other’s need to privacy. Be insulated from internal distractions such as noises, objects and interruptions. Remember your body posture not only helps you to listen better, but also communicates to the other that you are paying attentions. 19
  19. 19. 3. Do away with or at least diminish your internal distractions Empty yourself of your own world for the time being. This includes your assumption (your own ideas), stereotypes, prejudices, view points, interests and concerns, all that makes up your own. Make a conscious effort because it is not easy. 20
  20. 20. 4. Listen attentively, sensitively with understanding Be sensitive to all the message, words, tone of voice, gestures, body posture and facial expressions (verbal and non- verbal). Listen with your ears, your eyes and listen with your heart to understand what other is not saying. 21
  21. 21. 5. Asking Questions:- To draw out further information- To facilitate exploration- To put him at ease- To show interests and concern Never ask question out of mere curiosity. 22
  22. 22. 6. Show acceptance of other’ feelings Understand how / what the other person is feeling, understand also the reason for those feeling or the meanings those feelings have for him and communicate to him your understanding of his world. Rephrase and restate in your own words. 23
  23. 23. 7. Avoid making judgments The other person will calm up if he realizes that you are evaluating everything he says. If you are doing that don’t communicate it to him. Save your explanations until after he has had his way. 24
  24. 24. 8. Be aware of your own feelings and control them When you are attacked verbally it is natural inclination to defend yourself. You feel angry. Your best defense is to keep calm and not lose your temper. Be aware also of other feelings such as fear, impatience, affection, jealousy , etc. and don’t allow them to cloud25
  25. 25. A Decision to Listen is reallya decision to LOVETo Listen is to Understand –it affirms, it nourishes, itheals, it is creative, itstimulates growth. 26
  26. 26. COUNSELLING GUIDEEmphatic UnderstandingTry to put himself to the shoes of thecounselee. Has unconditional positiveregards – no if’s or but’s. “I am here withyou, may be I can help you”. There is acontact and relationship.Sensitive ListeningUsing the 2 ears, 2 eyes, the heart and nomouth. He listens to the counselee fully. 27
  27. 27. 10 STAGES OF COUNSELINGPHASE I – Self-Exploration: Facilitative Dimension 1. Setting up the relationship 2. Unfolding of the program 3. Release of negative feelings Start your Response 4. Encouragement of positive feelings 5. Growing confidence to explore new ways 6. Self-exploration & clarification 28
  28. 28. PHASE II – Emergent Directionality Facilitative & Action 7. Insight 8. Planning Oriented Dimension 9. Action (Often involving decision) 10. Re-evaluation 29
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  30. 30. 1. Don’t advise or look hastily for a solution.2. Don’t ask question out of curiosity or from uneasiness.3. Don’t moralize or intellectualize.4. Don’t make the other depend on you.5. Don’t categories or pre-judge the other. 31
  31. 31. 6. Don’t be false re-assuring or supportive.7. Don’t talk too much or project yourself into the interview.8. Don’t evaluate the other on his attitudes or behavior.9. Don’t look for or encourage long narratives.10. Don’t use the technical terms. 32
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  33. 33. 1. Be yourself.2. Concentrate but in a relax way.3. Listen to the full message of the other.4. Respond adequately and creatively.5. Communicate interest, warmth and understanding. 34
  34. 34. 6. Respect or “prize” the other.7. Confront, if or when necessary, but responsibly and sensitively.8. Help the other to sort out and clarify his problem.9. Use simple and direct language.10.Help other to take care of himself. 35
  35. 35. NOTE Time duration for counselling in everymeeting / session is at least 1 hour. 36
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  37. 37. A GUIDE FOR COUNSELLING1. Always take a moment to ask the name of the person counseled and endeavour to build a rapport. It is most important that the counselor represents a loving presence. Sensing the love of Christ, the person being counseled will then more readily be able to open their hearts fully to the acceptance of that love. 38
  38. 38. 2. Once a rapport has been established, say to the person, “My objective tonight is to lead you to a point where you are able fully and completely to turn to God and experience for your sins. My hope and prayer is that tonight will be a new beginning for you. I want, therefore to explain as clearly as possible the way of salvation so I am going to talk about the four truths which will make your position clear to you.” 39
  39. 39. TRUTH NUMBER 1You are been created by a lovingGod. You are unique individual. Godis your Father but He is quite unlikehuman fathers. He desires you andcreated you simply because Hedesires to build a loving relationshipwith you both in this life and for alleternity. 40
  40. 40. You did not choose your mother and father,nor did they choose you. God on the otherhand, deliberately chose to create you asyou are. He is motivated solely andcompletely by love. “Beloved, let us loveone another because love is of God:everyone who loves is begotten of God andhas knowledge of God. The man withoutlove has known nothing of God for God islove.” (1 Jn.4:7-8) “God Created man in Hisimage; in the divine image He created him:male and female He created them(Gen.1:27). 41
  41. 41. TRUTH NUMBER 2We have been separated from God.The whole human family is separatedfrom its loving Creator. This was notGod’s intention rather, separation is theresult of sin. The very first human beingcreated by God chose to disobey Him.As a result of their disobedience, sinwas born in the human race and eachone of us has inherited that sinfulnature. 42
  42. 42. Sin resulting fromdisobedience, has separated usfrom God so that we no longerenjoy a loving personalfellowship with Him.“Therefore, just as through oneman, sin entered the world andwith sin, death, death thuscoming to men in as much as all43
  43. 43. TRUTH NUMBER 3God has acted to end the separation!God loves you so He acted to end theseparation which was caused by sin.God, the creator of everything in theuniverse chose to send His onlybegotten Son into the world as ahuman being. That Son, JesusChrist, was born of the Virgin Mary andspent His life loving people and tellingthem about the beauty and wonder of 44
  44. 44. However, He did more than that.Although He Himself is sinless(because His father is God) Hewillingly allowed Himself tosuffer an agonizing death on awooden cross at Calvary justoutside Jerusalem in the nationof Israel. This happened sometwo thousand years ago. 45
  45. 45. In dying on the cross, Jesus Christ paidthe penalty for the sins of the humanrace thus allowing us once again to bereconciled to God and enabling us toexperience in this life the love of Godand eternal life in the world to comebeyond death. “Yes, God so loved theworld the He gave His only Son, thatwhoever believes in Him may not diebut may have eternal life.” (Jn. 3:16). 46
  46. 46. “Just as through one man’sdisobedience a; becamesinners, so through oneman’s obedience all shallbecome just.’’ (Rom. 5:19) 47
  47. 47. TRUTH NUMBER 4we need to respond and accept God’sgift of salvation. I now need to ask youto look honestly at your life. As yourlife. As you do that, I believe you willsee clearly that truthfully you havesinned and are therefore separatedfrom God. To be reconciled with yourloving Father in heaven, you need to dotwo things. Firstly, you need to repentof your sins and ask God’s forgiveness. 48
  48. 48. Secondly, you need to believe by faithfrom the heart that God’s Son the LordJesus Christ, has died for your sins, paidthe penalty for those sin and thataccordingly God is both able and willingto forgive you. “If we say, “we are freeof the guilt of sin, we deceivedourselves: the truth is not to be found inus. But if we acknowledge our sins, Hewho is just can be trusted to forgive oursins and cleanse us every wrong.” (1John 2:8-9). 49
  49. 49. 3. Established that the person being counseled fully understand the four spiritual truths. This could be done by way of questioning such as, “Do you understand clearly the four points I have just made?” Be prepared at that point to answer any questions that the person may have. Pray continually that the Holy Spirit may guide your answers. 50
  50. 50. Once you have establishedthat the person clearlyunderstand these fourspiritual truths, they need tobe directly challenged tomake a response. This can bedone by asking two or threequestions such as: 51
  51. 51. “Are you prepare to repent and turn awayfrom your sins and ask God’s forgiveness?”“Do you believe that Jesus Christ is God theSon and that He died so that your sins maybe forgiven thus enabling you to bereconciled back to God?”“Are you prepared to follow me in prayerasking Jesus Christ to become Lord of yourlife?” 52
  52. 52. If the answer to these questions is “YES” youare ready to lead the person in acommitment. If the person is reluctant toaccede then endeavor by careful lovingquestions, asserting the reason. Again let theHoly Spirit guide you in framing youranswers. Never use any kind of coercion ormanipulation. Remember that in theatmosphere of genuine love towards theindividual you are counseling, your job is toensure that they are make a genuinely freewill decision and commitment to Jesus Christ. 53
  53. 53. 4. Lead the person in prayer. You pray and ask the person to repeat the words after you. A suggested prayer is as follows: 54
  54. 54. Loving God, I want tonight toacknowledge before You and turn awayfrom my sinful and wrong actions. Iwant to turn to You and ask You tocleanse me, of my sins and forgive mefor the wrong which I have done. Ibelieve that Jesus Christ is Your Son,that he was born of the Virgin Mary andthat He became man. I believe that Hewas crucified on the Cross and shed Hisblood for the forgiveness of my sins. 55
  55. 55. I believe that You raised Jesus from the deadand wish to accept Your gift and promise ofeternal life with Him. I am truly sorry for mysins and the wrong I have done. I turn awayfrom it and renounce Satan and all of hisenticements. I entrust my heart and my lifenow to Jesus Christ and ask Him to becomethe Lord of my life. I ask you father God toaccept me as Your child and to guide my lifefrom this day forward. I ask you to send YourHoly Spirit to me and to lead me in fellowshipwith other Christian man and women.” Amen 56
  56. 56. If you confess with your lips thatJesus is Lord and believe in yourheart that God raised Him fromthe dead, you will be saved. Faithin the heart leads tojustification, confession on thelips to salvation. (Rom. 20:9-10). 57
  57. 57. Jesus told her, “I am theresurrection and thelife, whoever believes inMe, though he should die, willcome to life and whoever is aliveand believes in Me will not die.(Jn. 11:25) 58
  58. 58. 5. At this point, it is appropriate to congratulate the individual on the decision he / she just made to welcome her warmly into the Christian family. From this point on, your role is to give practical advice to the individual so that he can grow as a disciple of Jesus Christ. A number of points need to be covered: 59
  59. 59. a)BAPTISM – Baptism (either actual baptism or at least by desire) is necessary for salvation. It is by baptism that people are freed from their sins, are born again as children of God, made like unto Christ in their character and are incorporated in the Church. Accordingly, if you establish that the person has never been baptized then you need to spend some time speaking about the vital necessity of these sacrament. 60
  60. 60. “Jesus replied, “I solemnly assureyou, no one can enter into God’sKingdom without being begotten ofwater and spirit.” (Jn. 3:15)“Peter answered, “You must reform andbe baptized each one of you, in thename of Jesus Christ, that your sinsmay be forgiven: then you will receivethe gift of the Holy Spirit.” (Acts 2:38) 61
  61. 61. If you establish that the person has notbeen baptized you will need to makearrangements for baptism. Some effortwill be required to contact a priest inthis regard. Normally, a person willneed to be baptized within a parish andit is suggested that you become theinitial liaison contact between theParish Priest concerned and the personnow desiring baptism. 62
  62. 62. Do not lightly pass over this matter. Youwill now be committing yourself to thetask of ensuring that the individualreceives baptism which may requireyou to have an on-going involvementwith them during their instruction, etc.do not dodge that necessity: rememberthat you are dealing with the eternalsalvation of the individual and desirethat they be fully incorporated intoChrist and into His Church. 63
  63. 63. b) Daily Scripture reading – ask the person whether or not they own a Bible. If they do not, recommend that they purchase a Bible immediately and begin to read the Gospels. Encourage them then to adopt the habit of daily Scripture reading. 64
  64. 64. c) Daily Prayer – Explain that prayer is the means of fellowship with God. If we do not pray, then effectively we have only a theoretical relationship with God. Prayer is the essence of a personal loving relationship with God. Encourage the person to begin praying and to continue day-by- day. Both morning and evening prayer should be encouraged. 65
  65. 65. Explain that prayer is simple. Itinvolves simply speaking to God asif he were another human being andbeing prepared to listen to Hisresponse not by way of audiblevoice but by way of a tiny whisper(“He still, small voice”). Encouragethe person to pray alone and insilence – without silence they willnever hear God’s voice. 66
  66. 66. d) Christian Fellowship – Christian need fellowship to grow. For Catholics, this fellowship is centered on the MASS. Encourage the person, therefore, to begin attending Mass, explain, however that they will not be able to receive Communion until they have been baptized. In addition to Sunday Mass, encourage the person to join a small nurture of discipleship group so that they can be encourage be their brothers and sisters in Christ to grow and become mature Christians. 67
  67. 67. Feel free to give the person reading materialsand contacts, etc. concerning on-goingfellowship. Be prepared, if necessary, to betheir liaison so that they are introduced to anurture group, discipleship group orcommunity. Do not simply leave the person“High and Dry’’ Obtain their name, addressand telephone number. Becautious, however, about immediately givingthem your address and telephone number. It isbetter to wait until you are satisfiedconcerning the genuineness of theirconversion and see a clear willingness to walk 68