Listing non-assertive and assertive behaviors and discussing a few techniques for it. Last slide: suggestion for changes this week.

1. Supervision Internship [401591]
Week Three – Assertiveness
Marcus Birkenkrahe [Birkenkrahe Aya]
Bruce Spear [Beave Burkhardt]
Johannes Radig [Johannes Edelmann]

2. Agenda
 Tell us about the results of the forum discussion
 Recap / extention: PAC model and Drama Triangle
 [Non-] Assertiveness
 Simple methods
 Discussion
 Commitment round
Agenda | Forum | Models | Discussion | Commitment HWR Berlin Supervision Internship LV 401591 / 2

3. Forum – Changing your communication
 1. Do one thing differently in your communications with
others in your workplace and pay attention to the
consequences.
 2. Discuss what you've done with a third person and
report on what you've learned.
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4. Model: Parent-Adult-Child
Sympathetic
Parent Parent Praising
Critical
From above
Eye-level
Adult Adult Appropriately tense
Uses „I“, not „you“
Clear, determined
Rebellious
Child Child Sulky
Placating
Asking for praise
Person A Person B
Modified from Berne, 1964.
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5. Model: Drama Triangle
• Unnecessarily strict
• Accuses
Persecutor: • Critisizes aggressively
• Not listening to intuition • Anger easily triggered
• Guilt feelings when not rescuing It's all your fault! • Critical parent
• Keeps victims dependent • School bully
• Expects rescue to fail • Looking for victim
• Weak parent
• Feels s|he must, absolutely.
DRAMA
TRIANGLE
• Helplessness
• Suppressed anger
Rescuer: Let Victim: I'm such • Looking for rescuer
me help you! a poor boy|girl! • Unable to enjoy
• Feels s|he can't,
absolutely not.
Modified from Berne, 1964.
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6. [Non-] Assertiveness
 Aggressive behavior – pushy, bullying, requires force
 Manipulative behavior – sly, tricky, requires cunning
 Instinctive behavior – 'fight, flight or freeze'
 Defensive behavior – replying, defending, asking
 Assertive behavior – clear, adult, requires boundaries
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7. Assertive behaviors
The point of all assertive techniques is to let the other
person know (a) where your boundary is, (b) if anyone has
violated it and (c) what will happen if they keep doing it.
 Direct and clear
 Fielding through repetition
 Parallel talking
 Paradoxical
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8. Forum Feedback & Discussion
 Let's move over to the (now fixed) Opinionator to get a
view of what the class thinks of some of the forum
statements & then discuss...
?
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9. Commitment - Changes
 Experiment with assertive behavior this and next week.
 First, identify your (typical) pattern.
 For example
 when you'd normally say 'no', say 'yes'.
 when you'd normally be aggressive, be assertive
 when you'd normally be manipulative, be assertive
 In all cases, observe how other people's response
changes when you change your behavior.
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