1. “You want me to *what*?” Doug shot out of his seat. “No. No way. Not happening.” He
paused, giving Hanson a false appraisal and shuddered. “Not in your wildest nightmares.”
Fuller shrugged. “Ioki?”
He snapped to attention. “What? I’m not gay.”
“Well I know that,” Fuller said with a laugh. “That’s not the point. What is the point is
that we’ve got a murder of the biggest homophobic bigot in the school and no leads aside from
that. I don’t have to remind you that it’s a potential hate crime, and we need to get creative. And
unfortunately, I have a bunch of wimpy officers sitting around me. Now will you do it, or do I
have to find a new team?”
Ioki shrugged. “Why doesn’t Penhall? He and Hanson are already partners.”
“Yeah, like, police partners. You know, badge and gun and arms length at any moment
partners,” Penhall interjected. “That kind of [i]I’m not doing it[/i] partners.”
Fuller rolled his eyes. “That’s why. And I’m your commanding officer, so you’ll do
what I say.”
Hanson blinked awake. “What’d I miss?”
“You and Ioki are gay lovers,” Penhall said. “And you’re after a possibly homosexual
killer who may or may not have murdered a homophobe, which is really a positive because now
he can’t attack you.”
Fuller glared. “I believe we’ve had quite enough of your input. But yes, Hanson, that’s
an extremely crude rendition of the situation. You and Harry will be going undercover as a gay
couple.”
“Hey, I’m not doing that,” he said. “What about Doug?”
Penhall pouted. “Why does everyone keep suggesting me?”
“Yeah, I wonder,” Hanson said. He sighed. “Come on Cap, this isn’t fair.”
“You missed your chance to complain,” Fuller said. “Maybe if you refrained from
sleeping in our meetings.”
“I was up late last night,” he said. “Not my fault, as I recall. Seeing as [i]someone[/i]
volunteered me for stake out duties.” He leveled a glare at Doug, who smiled.
“You really shouldn’t sleep during meetings.”
“It wasn’t a meeting! It was the middle of the night and you made me stay to do your
paperwork!”
“And whose fault was that?”
“Yours!”
“Boys!” Fuller said. “This meeting is over. Hanson and Ioki are on the case, and
Penhall-“
“Yes?”
“Get out of my office.”
“Wait,” Doug said. “This is important.”
Fuller sighed. “Yes?”
“Well how do you know which one of them is gonna be, you know, the catcher.” He
scarcely hid an anticipatory smile.
“I guess that’s up to them,” Fuller replied, an attempt to avoid the situation.
Ioki exchanged a glance with Hanson. “He is,” they said in tandem, and then frowned.
Penhall broke down laughing
“It doesn’t matter,” Hanson said. “It’s called pretend. And Doug?”
“Yes?”

2. “Get out of his office!”
Ioki walked carefully back to his desk, the conversation weighing on him. He was good
at hiding things, sometimes too good. He knew he’d be able to hide it longer. But