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“BREAKTHROUGH”
By
Zoe Beesley
Ringwood School
Parsonage Barn Lane
Ringwood
BH24 1SE
01425 475000
beesleyz.student@ringwood.hants.sch.uk
1
FADE IN:
INT. SCHOOL SCIENCE LAB - DAY
Charlie is standing at the front of the lab behind a wooden
desk looking through a microscope. The white board is full
up of equations that he is using to try and crack his
scientific theory.
CHARLIE
*Gasps*
Cut to:
EXT. OUTSIDE HIS CAR ON THE SIDE OF A ROAD – DAY
Luke is walking towards his car whilst getting his keys out
of his pocket, he then proceeds to unlock the door. Scene
freezes and camera pans around to see the front of him.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
This is Luke. A typical 19 year old.
SERIES OF SHOTS CONTINUES WITH NARRATOR OVER TOP:
A) Shows Luke’s jacket.
B) Shows jeans.
C) Shows t-shirt.
D) Shows shoes.
NARRATOR (V.O.) (CONT’D)
He normally wears the typical up-to-date
clothing…, jacket, jeans, t-shirt, vans…
SERIES OF SHOTS CONTINUES WITH NARRATOR OVER TOP:
A) Shows second outfit all together.
B) Shows third outfit all together.
C) Shows forth outfit all together.
NARRATOR (V.O) (CONT’D)
…however he also likes to change it up
each day.
Scene cuts back to Luke by car and unfreezes as he gets in
his car and shuts the door.
EXT. FIELD – DAY
2
Luke is taking practice shots at a local golfing range.
NARRATOR (V.O.) (CONT’D)
Luke is a very outgoing person, who every
Tuesday, likes to go and play golf at his
local golfing range.
INT. LUKE’S HOUSE, DINING ROOM - EVENING
Luke is sitting at the dining table with three of his close
friends, all playing poker. They are sat at the table with
2 of them each side.
NARRATOR (V.O) (CONT’D)
He was always the popular guy at school,
however he never really enjoyed it so now
prefers the company of just his close
friends.
INT. LUKE’S HOUSE, LUKE’S BEDROOM – EVENING
Luke is sat at his desk trying to do college work. He then
starts getting frustrated and throws his pen down on the
desk and throws his work in the bin. The bin is half full
with scrunched up pieces of paper.
NARRATOR (V.O) (CONT’D)
He’s not the smartest of people…
INT. LUKE’S HOUSE, DINING ROOM – DAY
Luke playing his guitar and recording it on his laptop
whilst sat on a dining room chair pulled away from the
table.
NARRATOR (V.O) (CONT’D)
…but he can play the guitar pretty well
and has recently started recording his own
music.
Cut to:
EXT. POOLE BEACH – EARLY EVENING
Mia is standing on the shore, looking out at the sea and
scene freezes.
3
NARRATOR (V.O.)
Now this is Mia. She’s not your typical 16
year old girl.
SERIES OF SHOTS CONTINUES WITH NARRATOR OVER TOP:
A) Shows Mia’s coat.
B) Shows jeans.
C) Shows boots.
D) Shows hat.
NARRATOR (V.O.) (CONT’D)
She wears a black coat, with black jeans,
black boots and occasionally… a black hat.
EXT. OUTSIDE RINGWOOD SCHOOL STUDENT GATES – 2017,
FLASHBACK - DAY
Younger Mia walks out of the school gate,
turns left and walks down the pavement.
NARRATOR (V.O.) (CONT’D)
Now she’s never really felt like she
fitted in a school so she decided to quit
after her GCSE’s…
END FLASHBACK.
EXT. FRONT OF MIA’S AND NEIGHBOURS’ HOUSE – DAY
Mia is standing outside the front door of her neighbor’s
house looking forward. Her parents are standing outside of
the front door of their house looking forward.
NARRATOR (V.O.) (CONT’D)
And ever since then, she has been living
next door to her parents, house sitting
for her neighbours.
INT. NEIGHBOURS HOUSE, BATHROOM, KITCHEN – DAY
Mia washes her hands in the bathroom sink and then puts a
bowl of cereal on the counter and opens the kitchen drawer,
which only has one spoon, one knife and one fork in, takes
the spoon out and puts it in the cereal.
4
NARRATOR (V.O.) (CONT’D)
Mia has also been diagnosed with OCD
because of her obsession with washing her
hands and believing she only needs one of
everything in life.
EXT. POOLE BEACH – EARLY EVENING
Mia is sat cross legged on the shore of the beach, slightly
in the water, fully clothed, and looking away from the sea
watching people walk by. Mia then walks along the prom,
sits on a bench and flips a coin in the air. Charlie is in
the background watching Mia flip the coin.
NARRATOR (V.O.) (CONT’D)
Every day she likes to watch the world go
by because she finds it interesting
watching people just going about their
daily lives and wonders what it’s like to
be the stereotypical normal person.
Cut to:
INT. RINGWOOD SCHOOL LAB – DAY
Charlie walks into the lab, puts his bag on the floor next
to the desk and scene freezes.
NARRATOR (V.O.) (CONT’D)
Let’s take a look at Charlie. She is 17
and doesn’t particularly like to wear the
latest fashion.
SERIES OF SHOTS CONTINUES WITH NARRATOR OVER TOP:
A) Shows Charlie’s t-shirt.
B) Shows jeans.
C) Shows trainers.
NARRATOR (V.O.) (CONT’D)
She wears a t-shirt, jeans and trainers
because she prefers comfy clothes that she
can move freely in.
INT. CHARLIE’S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM – 2016, FLASHBACK
5
Younger Charlie opens her GCSE results out of an envelope
and looks happy with herself.
NARRATOR (V.O.) (CONT’D)
She’s a very smart girl who got 9 A*’s in
her GCSE’s two years ago…
END FLASHBACK
INT. RINGWOOD SCHOOL LAB – DAY
Charlie is sat at a desk doing homework for each of her
subjects.
SERIES OF SHOTS CONTINUES WITH NARRATOR OVER TOP:
A) Charlie writing in her chemistry book.
B) Charlie writing in her biology book.
C) Charlie writing in her physics book.
D) Charlie writing in her maths book.
NARRATOR (V.O.) (CONT’D)
And is currently taking chemistry,
biology, physics and maths at A-Level.
EXT. A LOCAL PARK – DAY
Charlie is sat on the middle of a bench by herself.
NARRATOR (V.O.) (CONT’D)
She’s a very private person, and as a
result doesn’t have many friends, and
doesn’t like to take any risks out of her
comfort zone.
INT. RINGWOOD SCHOOL LAB – DAY
Charlie is stood up at the front of the lab writing
equations on the whiteboard to fill the board up. She then
continues to look through a microscope.
NARRATOR (V.O.) (CONT’D)
She has spent the last year trying to
figure out a scientific theory and is ever
so close to doing it, however she’s having
a bit of trouble with the last little bits
and may need some help from other people…
6
Charlie looks up from her microscope in shock realizing
that maybe the actions of other people have given her ideas
about how to crack the theory.
CHARLIE
*Gasps*
Film rewinds through all scenes
SLOW-MOTION
Mia flipping a coin and it falling on the floor, and Luke
hitting a golf ball with his club.
INT. RINGWOOD SCHOOL LAB – DAY
Shows Charlie still looking up from her microscope in
shock. She then realizes that those actions haven’t
actually helped her and so she looks back down to the
microscope.
CHARLIE
(Frustratingly)
Nope.
Screens cuts to black.
THE END
Added more detail in
the scene
descriptions so the
storyline makes more
sense.

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Draft script 3

  • 1. “BREAKTHROUGH” By Zoe Beesley Ringwood School Parsonage Barn Lane Ringwood BH24 1SE 01425 475000 beesleyz.student@ringwood.hants.sch.uk
  • 2. 1 FADE IN: INT. SCHOOL SCIENCE LAB - DAY Charlie is standing at the front of the lab behind a wooden desk looking through a microscope. The white board is full up of equations that he is using to try and crack his scientific theory. CHARLIE *Gasps* Cut to: EXT. OUTSIDE HIS CAR ON THE SIDE OF A ROAD – DAY Luke is walking towards his car whilst getting his keys out of his pocket, he then proceeds to unlock the door. Scene freezes and camera pans around to see the front of him. NARRATOR (V.O.) This is Luke. A typical 19 year old. SERIES OF SHOTS CONTINUES WITH NARRATOR OVER TOP: A) Shows Luke’s jacket. B) Shows jeans. C) Shows t-shirt. D) Shows shoes. NARRATOR (V.O.) (CONT’D) He normally wears the typical up-to-date clothing…, jacket, jeans, t-shirt, vans… SERIES OF SHOTS CONTINUES WITH NARRATOR OVER TOP: A) Shows second outfit all together. B) Shows third outfit all together. C) Shows forth outfit all together. NARRATOR (V.O) (CONT’D) …however he also likes to change it up each day. Scene cuts back to Luke by car and unfreezes as he gets in his car and shuts the door. EXT. FIELD – DAY
  • 3. 2 Luke is taking practice shots at a local golfing range. NARRATOR (V.O.) (CONT’D) Luke is a very outgoing person, who every Tuesday, likes to go and play golf at his local golfing range. INT. LUKE’S HOUSE, DINING ROOM - EVENING Luke is sitting at the dining table with three of his close friends, all playing poker. They are sat at the table with 2 of them each side. NARRATOR (V.O) (CONT’D) He was always the popular guy at school, however he never really enjoyed it so now prefers the company of just his close friends. INT. LUKE’S HOUSE, LUKE’S BEDROOM – EVENING Luke is sat at his desk trying to do college work. He then starts getting frustrated and throws his pen down on the desk and throws his work in the bin. The bin is half full with scrunched up pieces of paper. NARRATOR (V.O) (CONT’D) He’s not the smartest of people… INT. LUKE’S HOUSE, DINING ROOM – DAY Luke playing his guitar and recording it on his laptop whilst sat on a dining room chair pulled away from the table. NARRATOR (V.O) (CONT’D) …but he can play the guitar pretty well and has recently started recording his own music. Cut to: EXT. POOLE BEACH – EARLY EVENING Mia is standing on the shore, looking out at the sea and scene freezes.
  • 4. 3 NARRATOR (V.O.) Now this is Mia. She’s not your typical 16 year old girl. SERIES OF SHOTS CONTINUES WITH NARRATOR OVER TOP: A) Shows Mia’s coat. B) Shows jeans. C) Shows boots. D) Shows hat. NARRATOR (V.O.) (CONT’D) She wears a black coat, with black jeans, black boots and occasionally… a black hat. EXT. OUTSIDE RINGWOOD SCHOOL STUDENT GATES – 2017, FLASHBACK - DAY Younger Mia walks out of the school gate, turns left and walks down the pavement. NARRATOR (V.O.) (CONT’D) Now she’s never really felt like she fitted in a school so she decided to quit after her GCSE’s… END FLASHBACK. EXT. FRONT OF MIA’S AND NEIGHBOURS’ HOUSE – DAY Mia is standing outside the front door of her neighbor’s house looking forward. Her parents are standing outside of the front door of their house looking forward. NARRATOR (V.O.) (CONT’D) And ever since then, she has been living next door to her parents, house sitting for her neighbours. INT. NEIGHBOURS HOUSE, BATHROOM, KITCHEN – DAY Mia washes her hands in the bathroom sink and then puts a bowl of cereal on the counter and opens the kitchen drawer, which only has one spoon, one knife and one fork in, takes the spoon out and puts it in the cereal.
  • 5. 4 NARRATOR (V.O.) (CONT’D) Mia has also been diagnosed with OCD because of her obsession with washing her hands and believing she only needs one of everything in life. EXT. POOLE BEACH – EARLY EVENING Mia is sat cross legged on the shore of the beach, slightly in the water, fully clothed, and looking away from the sea watching people walk by. Mia then walks along the prom, sits on a bench and flips a coin in the air. Charlie is in the background watching Mia flip the coin. NARRATOR (V.O.) (CONT’D) Every day she likes to watch the world go by because she finds it interesting watching people just going about their daily lives and wonders what it’s like to be the stereotypical normal person. Cut to: INT. RINGWOOD SCHOOL LAB – DAY Charlie walks into the lab, puts his bag on the floor next to the desk and scene freezes. NARRATOR (V.O.) (CONT’D) Let’s take a look at Charlie. She is 17 and doesn’t particularly like to wear the latest fashion. SERIES OF SHOTS CONTINUES WITH NARRATOR OVER TOP: A) Shows Charlie’s t-shirt. B) Shows jeans. C) Shows trainers. NARRATOR (V.O.) (CONT’D) She wears a t-shirt, jeans and trainers because she prefers comfy clothes that she can move freely in. INT. CHARLIE’S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM – 2016, FLASHBACK
  • 6. 5 Younger Charlie opens her GCSE results out of an envelope and looks happy with herself. NARRATOR (V.O.) (CONT’D) She’s a very smart girl who got 9 A*’s in her GCSE’s two years ago… END FLASHBACK INT. RINGWOOD SCHOOL LAB – DAY Charlie is sat at a desk doing homework for each of her subjects. SERIES OF SHOTS CONTINUES WITH NARRATOR OVER TOP: A) Charlie writing in her chemistry book. B) Charlie writing in her biology book. C) Charlie writing in her physics book. D) Charlie writing in her maths book. NARRATOR (V.O.) (CONT’D) And is currently taking chemistry, biology, physics and maths at A-Level. EXT. A LOCAL PARK – DAY Charlie is sat on the middle of a bench by herself. NARRATOR (V.O.) (CONT’D) She’s a very private person, and as a result doesn’t have many friends, and doesn’t like to take any risks out of her comfort zone. INT. RINGWOOD SCHOOL LAB – DAY Charlie is stood up at the front of the lab writing equations on the whiteboard to fill the board up. She then continues to look through a microscope. NARRATOR (V.O.) (CONT’D) She has spent the last year trying to figure out a scientific theory and is ever so close to doing it, however she’s having a bit of trouble with the last little bits and may need some help from other people…
  • 7. 6 Charlie looks up from her microscope in shock realizing that maybe the actions of other people have given her ideas about how to crack the theory. CHARLIE *Gasps* Film rewinds through all scenes SLOW-MOTION Mia flipping a coin and it falling on the floor, and Luke hitting a golf ball with his club. INT. RINGWOOD SCHOOL LAB – DAY Shows Charlie still looking up from her microscope in shock. She then realizes that those actions haven’t actually helped her and so she looks back down to the microscope. CHARLIE (Frustratingly) Nope. Screens cuts to black. THE END Added more detail in the scene descriptions so the storyline makes more sense.