I was going through my old CDs and encountered this PowerPoint which was obtained in 2005 whilst taking part in a Bachelor of Social Work Degree at Edith Cowan University. I discover this information to be really helpful and since learning this, I have applied it to my everyday life, and I thought I would share this information on.

1. Welcome to week 7Welcome to week 7
Topic change to assertive skillsTopic change to assertive skills
 crucial compliment to listening skillscrucial compliment to listening skills
 professional context, self factors andprofessional context, self factors and
purpose of interaction require muchpurpose of interaction require much
translation & negotiation due to 3 waytranslation & negotiation due to 3 way
stakeholder dynamicsstakeholder dynamics
 power factors also come to fore in howpower factors also come to fore in how
we position ourselves and our part inwe position ourselves and our part in
exchange, problem-solving, etc.exchange, problem-solving, etc.

2. More on why Assertiveness impt.More on why Assertiveness impt.
 Listening & respect are the building blocksListening & respect are the building blocks
for understanding the other person &for understanding the other person &
building trust & relationshipbuilding trust & relationship
 But also need capacity to act in ownBut also need capacity to act in own
authority as wellauthority as well
 As professionals we need to weave inAs professionals we need to weave in
relevant knowledge, agency info, ownrelevant knowledge, agency info, own
experiences, strategies, feedback etcexperiences, strategies, feedback etc

3. Self & Cultural Awareness still impt.Self & Cultural Awareness still impt.
 Lack of regard for impact of self factors & forLack of regard for impact of self factors & for
impact of differences (of culture, power, status,impact of differences (of culture, power, status,
gender, etc) will heighten risk of poorgender, etc) will heighten risk of poor
assertiveness skillsassertiveness skills
 More likely to flip flop between sympathy andMore likely to flip flop between sympathy and
aggressiveness. Why so do you think?aggressiveness. Why so do you think?
 What are some cultural patterns in use of angerWhat are some cultural patterns in use of anger
that might make us reticent to be assertivethat might make us reticent to be assertive
(which can be confused with aggression)?(which can be confused with aggression)?

4. Assertiveness is ….Assertiveness is ….
 Those bundle of capacities that we employ toThose bundle of capacities that we employ to
‘hold’ a professional ‘position’ or ‘stand point’ in‘hold’ a professional ‘position’ or ‘stand point’ in
interaction.interaction.
 Where we say what we think and need with dueWhere we say what we think and need with due
regard for the other personregard for the other person
 It is not forcing our opinion or needs or blamingIt is not forcing our opinion or needs or blaming
and dumping on the person when we are upset.and dumping on the person when we are upset.
 It is a considered, respectful, unchargedIt is a considered, respectful, uncharged
expression of your professional/personalexpression of your professional/personal
issue/need in interactions with clients, bosses,issue/need in interactions with clients, bosses,
colleagues etc.colleagues etc.

5. The Classic “I statement”The Classic “I statement”
 As you will see from the handout for today,As you will see from the handout for today,
assertiveness is usually expressed by anassertiveness is usually expressed by an
“I statement”. For example:“I statement”. For example:
 I feel ….I feel ….
 When you ….When you ….
 Because …Because …
 I feel frustrated when so many studentsI feel frustrated when so many students
came in late because it affects my abilitycame in late because it affects my ability
to get started on the lectureto get started on the lecture

6. Usually more is neededUsually more is needed
 In dominant cultural practices we tend not to beIn dominant cultural practices we tend not to be
so direct so these kinds of statements can be offso direct so these kinds of statements can be off
putting.putting.
 It is often better to ‘soften’ your assertivenessIt is often better to ‘soften’ your assertiveness
while holding to it but leading with regard for thewhile holding to it but leading with regard for the
other persons circumstancesother persons circumstances
 I can see people are coming in looking tired andI can see people are coming in looking tired and
rushed today. It can get very strenuous midrushed today. It can get very strenuous mid
semester with assignments piling up, can’t it?semester with assignments piling up, can’t it?
(Invite non-judging comments). The problem for(Invite non-judging comments). The problem for
me is that I feel frustrated when ….me is that I feel frustrated when ….

7. So when to be assertive?So when to be assertive?
 When:When:
1.1. Feeling threatened, overwhelmed etc & unableFeeling threatened, overwhelmed etc & unable
to attend well to the other personto attend well to the other person
2.2. To comment on aspects of the relationshipTo comment on aspects of the relationship
which are impacting on productivitywhich are impacting on productivity
3.3. As a self disclosure to build trustAs a self disclosure to build trust
4.4. To establish professional boundaries &To establish professional boundaries &
relationship protocols. For example …relationship protocols. For example …
5.5. To build open, equal & robust prof. relationshipTo build open, equal & robust prof. relationship
6.6. To model how to do it for client….To model how to do it for client….

8. The risks of being assertiveThe risks of being assertive
 Being misunderstood as aggressive or selfBeing misunderstood as aggressive or self
centredcentred
 Getting a backlash esp. from authorityGetting a backlash esp. from authority
figuresfigures
 Becoming a whistleblowerBecoming a whistleblower
 The pain re self work & confronting othersThe pain re self work & confronting others
 Can make tensions more overt and/orCan make tensions more overt and/or
‘cause’ conflict‘cause’ conflict

9. Back to the 3 part assertionBack to the 3 part assertion
 The I statement needs to include:The I statement needs to include:
1.1. A non-judgmental description of theA non-judgmental description of the
behaviour to be changedbehaviour to be changed
2.2. A disclosure of the asserter’s feelingsA disclosure of the asserter’s feelings
3.3. A clarification of the concrete & tangibleA clarification of the concrete & tangible
effect of the other person’s behaviour oneffect of the other person’s behaviour on
the asserterthe asserter
(Bolton, 1987, p.140).(Bolton, 1987, p.140).

10. Behaviour + feelings + effectsBehaviour + feelings + effects
Construct an assertive statement for theConstruct an assertive statement for the
following situation:following situation:
You are a new social worker at Centrelink.You are a new social worker at Centrelink.
The first client you have is very angry andThe first client you have is very angry and
throws her pen on the table when you startthrows her pen on the table when you start
asking her some questions.asking her some questions.
Write your statement down first. Check withWrite your statement down first. Check with
a colleague & see what they came up with.a colleague & see what they came up with.
Now actually do a role play and try theNow actually do a role play and try the
statement …statement …

11. Centrelink exampleCentrelink example
 First remember there are many ways toFirst remember there are many ways to
respond to this situation … this is onerespond to this situation … this is one
way:way:
 Mary you seem really upset with myMary you seem really upset with my
questioning …. (Let her respond)questioning …. (Let her respond)
 When you throw your pen down like that itWhen you throw your pen down like that it
upsets me too and leaves me unsure if weupsets me too and leaves me unsure if we
can proceed with your claim at thecan proceed with your claim at the
momentmoment

12. Be aware …Be aware …
 As you see from this example, there isAs you see from this example, there is
more that needs to happen alongside yourmore that needs to happen alongside your
assertive statement, especially in new orassertive statement, especially in new or
short term professional situations.short term professional situations.
 We will just today mostly focus onWe will just today mostly focus on
assertiveness but recognise the need toassertiveness but recognise the need to
interweave this with active listening, etc.interweave this with active listening, etc.
 This is to be looked at in week 9 …This is to be looked at in week 9 …

13. 3 way stakeholders3 way stakeholders
 For the moment let’s note that usuallyFor the moment let’s note that usually
professional practice involves 3 keyprofessional practice involves 3 key
stakeholders – yourself, the client and thestakeholders – yourself, the client and the
agency.agency.
 Much of our need to be assertive willMuch of our need to be assertive will
relate to the challenges & limits of therelate to the challenges & limits of the
agency context.agency context.
 (Of course, there are also other players –(Of course, there are also other players –
family, or not, friends, colleaguesfamily, or not, friends, colleagues
reactions, etc).reactions, etc).

14. For example …For example …
 We may want to give the food voucher to theWe may want to give the food voucher to the
desperate man but the agency policy may notdesperate man but the agency policy may not
allow that. He gets angry with us but we are theallow that. He gets angry with us but we are the
‘piggy in the middle’‘piggy in the middle’
 So how to be assertive here?So how to be assertive here?
 Fred, I can see you are really badly needing theFred, I can see you are really badly needing the
voucher. I feel really torn about it because youvoucher. I feel really torn about it because you
keep pressuring me yet it is beyond my controlkeep pressuring me yet it is beyond my control
and is an agency matter.and is an agency matter.

15. Let’s do some warm up exercisesLet’s do some warm up exercises
 In pairs:In pairs:
 As the ‘student’ practice saying to theAs the ‘student’ practice saying to the
‘lecturer’: I feel upset when you comment‘lecturer’: I feel upset when you comment
on my coming in late because it makeson my coming in late because it makes
me feel unwelcome.me feel unwelcome.
 Lecturer: reflect a feeling of theirsLecturer: reflect a feeling of theirs
 Student keep asserting until lecturerStudent keep asserting until lecturer
“shifts”“shifts”

16. And so on ….And so on ….
 Purpose of exercises:Purpose of exercises:
 To build capacity to work with intensityTo build capacity to work with intensity
 To become able to quickly construct aTo become able to quickly construct a
three part messagethree part message
 To convey the message respectfullyTo convey the message respectfully
 To use other skills as relevant …To use other skills as relevant …
 To gently ‘hold’ own ground …To gently ‘hold’ own ground …
 So can do more developed role play inSo can do more developed role play in
tute.tute.

17. NoticeNotice
 Notice if you are finding it difficult to put yourselfNotice if you are finding it difficult to put yourself
and your needs into the scenario. Often asand your needs into the scenario. Often as
helpers we are more comfortable ‘being there’helpers we are more comfortable ‘being there’
for the other person and wish to avoid conflict atfor the other person and wish to avoid conflict at
all costs.all costs.
 These skills demand of us a more robust self –These skills demand of us a more robust self –
esteem & a developed sense of self as aesteem & a developed sense of self as a
professional with certain responsibilities aboveprofessional with certain responsibilities above
and beyond (but not separate from) our personaland beyond (but not separate from) our personal
selves. Be gentle on yourselves but also look toselves. Be gentle on yourselves but also look to
stretch & learn in this class wherever possiblestretch & learn in this class wherever possible

18. ReferencesReferences
 Bolton, R. (1987). People skills.Bolton, R. (1987). People skills.
Brookvale: Prentice Hall.Brookvale: Prentice Hall.
 Please carefully read the handoutPlease carefully read the handout
materials & try practising these skills whenmaterials & try practising these skills when
the opportunities present themselves inthe opportunities present themselves in
your every day lives.your every day lives.