Ten steps to becoming social emotional aces-mackintosh webinar

©2016 Sharon M Barnes, MSSW, PLLC
www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com
Ten Steps to Building
Emotional
Core Strength
Written & Presented By
Sharon M. Barnes, MSSW, LCSW
Therapist for Sensitive and
Gifted

Sharon M. BarnesTherapist For Sensitive and
Gifted
MSSW – Masters of Science in Social Work, SDSU
LCSW – Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Colorado
USA
Local Counseling/Psychotherapy
Online Distance Consultation
Presentations, PlayShops & Retreats
Professional Development
Jungian-oriented depth work to:
 Release your Creativity
 Heal your Past
 Transform your Pain
 Become Fully Alive
 Find & Fulfill your True Purpose

Thank You to

Social and emotional needs are
crucial to the well-being of gifted
students and adults.
Social and emotional needs
o Low Self-esteem or confidence
o Anxiety
o Depression
Ten Steps to Building Emotional
Core Strength
(How to Become
Social-Emotional ACES)
Targeting
Asynchrony
soCial Skills
Emotional Resilience
Self-Esteem
RESULT: Restore ability to
Create & Innovate
©2016 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW, PLLC.

Foundation Stone 1: What’s the BIG PICTURE?

Why we spend
so much time
on the
foundation:
o The taller you build,
the deeper you need
to dig.
o The more storms you
prepare for, the
deeper you dig.
o The more you
understand WHY, the
better you can do with
the WHAT & HOW.

Caveat - Hesitations - Reservations
 Humans don’t fit into
equations and formulas
 For every principle or tool
or technique that exists,
and that I share, there are
other legitimate ways to
approach these things
 My role here is as a Guide
through the Wilderness of
Inner Territory, a fellow
traveler who has walked
these paths before –alone
and as a guide. I know
much of this terrain and
am glad to share what I
have learned on the trail.

©2016 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW, PLLC. www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com
GT Kids (of all ages)
CAN be ACES at . . .
Asynchrony
soCial Skills
Emotional
Resilience

What’s an
ACE?
Exhibit A:
o Elite baseball pitcher
o Team’s best starter
o First in the rotation
o Plays the BIG
games

GT Kids (of all ages)
CAN be ACES at . . .
Asynchrony
soCial Skills
Emotional
Resilience
Self-esteem

What’s a Social-Emotional ACE?
Social –Emotional ACES =
“5 G’s”
1. Gain perspective (big picture)
2. Gain understanding and
acceptance of self & others
3. Gain skills to balance and
express emotions
4. Gain skills to meet own
social-emotional needs
effectively
5. Gain skills to establish and
maintain social relationships

Top 3
Issues
o Children
o Teens
o Adults
1.Super-
sensitivity
2.Anxiety
3.Depression©2016 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW, PLLC.

A Great Tragedy
o School Shootings ← GT Students
o Suicides of Gifted & Talented
People
o Under –Achievement
o Alienation
o Dumbing down
o Copping out
o Dropping out
o Wasted intelligence
o Wasted talent
o Wasted lives

www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com©2016 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW, PLLC.
Something’s
wrong with me

I’m an Alien

Creative
Acutely Aware
Super- Sensitive
Intense, often Introverted and/or
Gifted
You? someone you know?
= CASIGY™©2016 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW, PLLC. www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com

CASIGYs
More perceptive
CNS
More reactive CNS

CASIGYs’
Mascot
*Different*
o ridiculed
o excluded
o shunned
o shamed
o ostracized
o banished into
exile©2016 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW, PLLC. www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com

because of . . .

LATER …
he returned from exile

Also
because of . .
.

What’s
YOURS?

First 50 who
come to my table
get a RED NOSE!

• 2• 3
• 1• 4
Return
Red
Nose:
MisFit
OutcastExile
CASIGY Cycle of Discouragement
The
Hero &
Heroine’
s
Journey

• 2• 3
• 1• 4
Creative
Contri-
bution
Creative
Coping
Creative
Healing
Creative
Transfor-
mation
CASIGY Cycle of Encouragement
The
Hero’s &
Heroine’
s
Journey

Foundation Stone 2: Who am I & Where am I in this picture?

What is the most powerful, yet
hidden tool that parents and
teachers have that will help
CASIGY kids and teens become
Social-Emotional ACES?
 Modeling / Monkey-See, Monkey-Do
It’s the most natural way we all
learn
Kids do what we DO, not what we
SAY
It takes one to know one
You can't lead someone where you
are not willing or able to go
 Implication:
Use these tools for yourself
FIRST
THEN you can pass them along©2016 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW, PLLC.
Foundation Stone 3: Monkey-See─Monkey-Do

Emotions are like Ocean Waves
o natural phenomenon
o energy
o don’t ask permission
o respond to the weather, moon & earth’s movement
o Our 1st reaction is to
o When we fight them,
o Learn to READ them
o Learn to RIDE them
FIGHT THEM
WE LOSE
stay SAFE
have FUN
Foundation Stone 4: Emotions are like Ocean Waves

Whew! That’s a lot of Foundation!

Preparation for
the Journey
Multi-Purpose
Tool:

Emotions are like Ocean Waves
o natural phenomenon
o energy
o don’t ask permission
o respond to the weather, moon & earth’s movement
o Our 1st reaction is to
o When we fight them,
o Learn to READ them
o Learn to RIDE them
FIGHT THEM
WE LOSE
We can stay SAFE
We can have FUN

7 Barriers to Feeling Our Emotions

1. DON’T
FEEL!
oDon't feel sad
oDon't feel mad
oDon't feel bad
oDon't feel too
glad/happy
oDon’t feel
__________

Emotional Volcanoes

Have You Had This
at Home or School?
Emotional Icebergs

We’re Afraid the Dam will
BURST

GREEN Flag = Small waves = ALL
CLEAR
ORANGE Flag = Medium waves = CAUTION
RED Flag = Big waves = DANGER
BLACK Flag = Tsunami = GET OFF THE
BEACH
PURPLE Flag = Something’s in the water
= BEWARE
What Color Flag is flying on Your Inner

CASIGY™ Tool #1
 First
 Best
 Last
 Use anywhere
 Use anytime
BREATHE
www.TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.com/
Resources/CASIGY Tool Box/ Relaxation
Breathing Exercises

http://therapistforsensitiveandgifted.com/1a-daily-tune-in-tool-2/

Release
your
emotions
(To save the dam,
open a flue)

“I’ve decided to outsource my emotional
needs” ©2016 Sharon M. Barnes, LCSW, PLLC.
5. What do I need? How can I meet this need?

How do I interpret this event or situation?
o What’s my first take on what it means?
o Things are not always as they seem –
does it REALLY mean this?
o What else might it mean?

CASIGYs
Often Believe:
“I’m Different,
therefore
something’s wrong
with me; I’m
Defective, Inferior,
and Inadequate”

Dabrowski’s Theory of
Positive Disintegration
o Emotions influence personality development
o Intelligence is not a sufficient condition for human
development
o Experience of negative emotions is essential for
advanced psychological development.
o Therefore the goal of therapy is not to eliminate negative
emotions
o When individuals are on the path of development,
negative emotions are essential companions
o Negative emotions may break apart lower levels of
development and thus prepare us for higher levels of
development
o Therefore having negative emotions may be a
harbinger of further development

 Most people can stay undeveloped psychically
with no particularly negative consequences for
themselves
 They are unconscious and are perfectly happy
being unconscious.
 They give lots of other people trouble and pain,
but they are not pained because of their
unconsciousness.
 Many (especially CASIGYs) DO have a great
NEED to develop to a deeper, higher, broader
level.
 They develop symptoms (neuroses) that haunt
them unless and until they become more and
more conscious and more developed
psychologically.
 Like those who MUST explore new physical
territory (California or BUST), they MUST
individuate.
 Tragically, they most often misinterpret the
meaning of their symptoms, AKA neuroses.
 They need to understand that their symptoms
are signs of an INVITATION WITH AN
IMPERATIVE TO GROW & DEVELOP FURTHER.

When our Waves are Out of
Proportion
o More perceptive CNS
o More reactive CNS
o HALT
o Misunderstanding
o Misinterpretation
o Pull from the past (depression)
o Push to the future (anxiety)
o Complexes distort reality
7. Does the SIZE of this wave MATCH
the significance of the situation?

We all need
fences
8. What are my limits?
How can I honor them?

Accept the Waves
o Stop resisting & fighting the
waves
o Watch the waves
o Ride the waves
9. What can I DO about this
OR how can I accept this?

CASIGYS CAN be
ACES at . . .
Asynchrony
soCial Skills
Emotional
Resilience

10. Personal
Positive
Predictability
Whatever comes your way in life, you can predict
that you can (eventually) find a positive, creative,
constructive way to cope with it.

CASIGY ACES
Social-Emotional
Empowerment Program
You (and your kids or teens, if you
include them) will
o Climb the Personal Power Pyramid
so you all can –
o Develop Personal Positive
Predictability
o Cultivate Self-Understanding and
Self-Acceptance
o Foster a Strong, Flexible Sense of
Self
o Build Emotional Core Strength
o Expand Emotional & Social
Resilience Factors
o Become Social & Emotional ACES
o ACCESS it TWO Ways –
o LIVE Webinar

LIVE Web Program
Once a Week for 6 weeks
Wed’s Nov 2-Dec 14, 2016
(minus Thanksgiving Week)
7 pm-8:30 MD/ST (GMT/UTC 6/7)
- Access it LIVE - AND
- Access the Recordings
HOME Video Program
Same Content
Access at your pace
Q & A by email
Contact Sharon Today for a NEW Tomorrow!
mailto:Sharon@TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.
CASIGY™ ACES
Social-Emotional Empowerment Program
50% Discount until 11/17 $397 x 50% = $198.50
https://delivr.com/23gzc
https://delivr.com/2gnnd

Sources
Elaine Aron, PhD. The Highly Sensitive Person.
Elaine Aron, PhD. The Highly Sensitive Child
Campbell, Joseph. Hero with a Thousand Faces
Jung, C.G., MD. Two Essays on Analytical Psychology
Sal Mendaglio, PhD. Dabrowski's Theory of Positive
Disintegration
Lucy Jane Miller, OTR, PhD. Sensational Kids
Marylou Kelly Streznewski, MEd. Gifted Grownups
James T. Webb, PhD. Searching for Meaning. Idealism,
Bright Minds, Disillusionment, and Hope
James T. Webb, PhD and Edward R. Amend, PhD.
Misdiagnosis and Dual Diagnoses of Gifted Children
and Adults: ADHD, Bipolar, Ocd, Asperger's,
Depression
Contact Sharon Today for a NEW Tomorrow!
mailto:Sharon@TherapistForSensitiveAndGifted.
com
https://delivr.com/23gzc
LIVE Webinar Program
HOME Video Program
https://delivr.com/2gnnd

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