2. Aims
To provide an introduction to concepts of
interpersonal attraction
To explain social psychological concepts of
attraction and love
3. Content of Session
• Types of interpersonal behaviour
• The concept of attraction
• Theories of attraction and attachment
• Types of relationships and love
4. Types of Interpersonal Behaviour
• Move towards others: interaction, co-
operation, cohesiveness. Social integration.
• Move away from others: exclusiveness,
independence, autonomy. Social distance.
• Move against others: hostile and
aggressive behaviour.
5. Pro-social Behaviours
Altruism: doing things for others without personal
gain or interest
– In biological terms, to the detriment of the individual’s
personal survival
Pro-social behaviour: socially appropriate
behaviour such as helping, co-operating sharing
or supporting.
EXAMPLES?
6. Anti-social Behaviours
• Anti-social behaviour: violating social
norms such as addiction, crime or
aggression
• Context can change these definitions, for
example aggression against the enemy is
“appropriate” in war and helping the enemy
is anti-social behaviour…
7. What is Attraction?
• A tendency that draws people together
Primary social motive - people need people!
• Related concepts:
– need for affiliation (Murray,1935,1943)
– balance (“sociostat” - Latané & Werner, 1978)
8. Very Popular in the Media!
Think of informal questionnaires or quizzes
about sex or emotional relationships – lots of
examples!
9. Why do we find others attractive?
• Familiarity - two aspects
– Proximity (the boy/girl next door effect). People
are more likely to interact with others who are
there at the same time.
– Mere exposure effect (Zajonc,1968) - the more
often people are exposed to a ‘novel stimulus’
(word, geometric shape or face) the more attractive
it becomes (the more positively it is evaluated).
This can operate without conscious awareness
10. Proximity
• Even subtle features in buildings can affect
process of making acquaintances – e.g.
workplace
• Availability – interaction requires less
effort!
• ***Limits - initial response,
overexposure***
11. Why do we find others attractive?
• Beauty – evolution or culture???
– body shape (Singh)
– facial features (averaged and symmetrical)
– Two month olds spend more time gazing at
attractive faces than at unattractive faces.
– Historical and cultural variation in what
constitutes beauty…
– “Beautiful is good” stereotype (see last lecture)
12. Why Beauty is Good
• Attractive people are judged more
positively:
• Judged more honest
• Earning more money
• Less maladapted
• Happier and better personality
Can you think of exceptions???
13. Why do we find others attractive?
• We like others who are similar to us:
– Newcomb (1961) Attitudinal similarity.
– Duck (1973,1977,1982 etc.) --- Duck examined the
effects of similarity in attitudes, personality and
personal constructs
– Opposites may attract but similarity stays together.
Dissimilarity filter (Byrne et al.)
– This provides the basis for positive social comparison
and interpersonal validation. Also a sense of shared
norms (what is normal in society)
14. We like people who are like us…
• Physical attractiveness and the matching
hypothesis (Feingold,1988).
• We like others who like us - reciprocity.
• The concept of reciprocity takes a variety of
forms in social psychological theory
including:
• Heider and balance theory; social exchange
theory and equity theory
15. Reciprocity
• Like those who like us
• Dislike those who dislike us!
• People who believe they are liked are more
attracted to group than those who believe
they are disliked!
• Reciprocal liking major determinant of
attraction (Sprecher, 1998)
16. Individual Differences
• Security and attachment (see later)
• Self esteem – high SE less affected by
rejection – do not need to bolster
themselves by others
17. Heider and Balance Theory
– Heider (1958) - Balance Theory
This has been summarised as follows:
*my friend’s friend is my friend
*my friend’s enemy is my enemy
*my enemy’s friend is my enemy
*my enemy’s enemy is my friend
18. Social Exchange Theory
– This is a complicated theory which views human
behaviour in ‘economic’ terms…
– Key Concepts: rewards, costs, comparison level,
comparison level of alternatives, and investments.
Outcomes are in terms of satisfaction and
commitment.
– This is reviews the validity of the model as a whole
– http://abctcouples.org/Karney1995.pdf applies
theory to marital relationships.
19. Equity Theory
• This is a much simpler theory than SET
• States that partners in a relationship will
stay together if there is perceived equality in
the ratio of benefits to contributions for
each partner.
• This is a theoretically interesting view:
http://www.elainehatfield.com/ch109.pdf
20. Types of Relationships
• Affiliative – these are relationships with
those who we feel are ‘like us’ and share
our social norms
• Attachment - a theory of the nature of
intimate relationships also used as a type of
relationship.
• Intimate -
– feelings of attachment, affection, and love
– fulfilment of needs and interdependence.
21. Attachment
• Attachment Theory is based in
psychoanalysis, comparative psychology
and cognitive psychology. John Bowlby
• Claims to explain the existence of a lifelong
capacity to form ‘attachment relationships’.
The prototype is the relationship between
mother and infant. In later life attachment
relationships are formed between adults
22. Other Kinds of Relationships
• Exchange relationships - based on reward
and short-term repayment of benefits. Fits
well with social exchange or equity models.
Strangers or business partners.
• Communal relationships - partners
respond to each other’s needs and well-
being over time without regard for given or
received benefit (based on cultural
comparisons)
23. The Romance of Evolutionary
Psychology
• Hinde: Men seek to propagate widely
whereas women seek to propagate wisely.
• Buss (1994) & Trivers (1972):
– women should be attracted to men who are
older and financially secure or have
intelligence, ambition, stability etc. i.e.
prospects.
– Men like young, physically attractive and
faithful (rather than promiscuous) women.
24. Evolutionary Theory
• Charles Darwin – huge influence on research
across disciplines.
• Evolutionary psychology uses Darwin’s principles
of natural selection to explain sex differences in
reproduction in the modern day.
• Reproduction is basis of evolutionary survival –
behaviours that maximise chance of reproduction
continued from one generation to another.
• Survival of the fittest and The Selfish Gene
(Richard Dawkins)
25. Reproductive Strategies
• Sex differences – competition with own sex for
“best genes” of opposite sex
• Certain behaviours give members of a particular
sex an evolutionary advantage over the rest, these
are shown in differences in, e.g. sexual and
aggressive behaviours – these differences should
be measurable
• Males: pre-programmed for promiscuity – low
parental investment
• Females pre-programmed for selectivity – high
parental investment
26. Sexual Behaviour in Evolution
• If the parental investment hypothesis holds water,
we should be able to predict certain behaviours in
men and women:
• Men – more sexual partners? YES (Simpson &
Gangestad, 1991)
• Men - higher sex drive? Problems with
measurement, but men masturbate more (Oliver &
Hyde, 1993) – specific behaviours also indicate
this: e.g. men buy more porn and frequent Internet
chat rooms/dating sites more than women
27. Sexual Behaviour (Continued)
• Promiscuity in gay men – no women to “slow them down”
(Bailey et al, 1994)
• Men – more interested in physical appearance (cues for
health), but women also interested in status and cues for
wealth? – YES (Bailey et al, 1994)
• Singh (1993) – men favour women with narrow waists –
0.7 WHR – cues for fertility – much research on this now
• Evolutionary benefits of men responding quickly to
“attractive” women
28. Variability – What about Social
Factors?
• Evolutionary Theory should also predict that there
is a greater variability of sexual partners in men,
such that “successful” men have more –
historically, this has been the case
• “Cads” verses “Dads”
• HOWEVER – Simpson & Gangestad (1991) also
found a large variability in women’s number of
sexual partners. What does this mean for
Evolutionary Theory?
29. Social Factors
• More restrictions on women historically. “Nice” girls don’t
watch porn and they marry rich men
• Women called “sluts” for being sexually responsive to a lot
of men – apparent in rape myths
• How much is nurture?
• The media love this stuff!
The Science of Valentine's Day!
30. Love
• Based on analysis of classical texts,
sociologist Lee (1988) identified 3 primary
styles of love (colours of love):
– eros (erotic)
– ludus (playful, uncommitted) higher in males.
– storge (friendship) higher in females
– These can combine to give secondary types
– mania (possessive); pragma (pragmatic) and
agape (other-oriented, altruistic)
31. Liking and Love: Are they
different?
• Rubin (1973) – “liking” and “love” are not
the same!
• Liking – desire to interact with someone
• Love (or being “in love” – district
characteristics, e.g. trusting, being aroused
by etc
32. Different Types of Love
• Sternberg (1986). Triangular theory of love.
• Three components:
– intimacy (emotional, I have a comfortable
relationship with…)
– passion (motivational, Just seeing X is exciting)
– commitment (cognitive, I always feel a strong
responsibility towards X)
34. Technology and Relationships
• Think about Social Media – how often do
you check sites such as Facebook?
• Is this changing the way we “do”
relationships?
• Do you “reveal” more online than you do
face to face?
• Does it increase jealousy?
35. Reading
• Any introductory text book on social
psychology will give a chapter on attraction
• A good book on human relationships:
– Duck, S. (2007). Human Relationships,
London: Sage.
Social Balance Theory
Revisiting Heider’s Balance Theory for many agents
Deni Khanafiah1 , Hokky Situngkir2
No date http://arxiv.org/ftp/nlin/papers/0405/0405041.pdf
