Add Style to Your Writing Without Sacrificing Clarity

Plain Language 2.0: Add
Style
to Your Writing Without
Sacrificing Clarity
Romina Marazzato Sparano

Why Clarity with Style?
1. If writing is
 Hard to follow or understand
 Boring, too literal or monotone
… readers will abandon it
2. SEO: Search Engine Optimization
 Literal vs. metaphorical
 Balance b/ crawlers & readers

Why is Clarity with Style Hard?
1. Text Building Issues: intra-lingual readability
2. Idiomatic Idiosyncrasies: inter-lingual translatability
Guilt, vengeance, and bitterness can be
emotionally destructive to you and your
children. You must get rid of them.
VH Rescue Mission helps people
drinking their life away develop the skills
they need to lead a healthy life.
• Lexical Mismatch
• Syntactic Mismatch
event construal
• Adequacy
• Grammaticality
• Connectivity

Plain Language 1.0
 “Write as if you were speaking”
 “Use active voice”
 “Write for 6th grade level”
 Get rid of redundancies
 Condense meaning in stronger verbs and nouns
 Get rid of jargon
WRITING TECHNIQUES
VERSUS
ADEQUACY

Conversational Style?
 “Write as if you were speaking”
We need to talk about dealing with distractions and, um, interruptions
when we’re trying to work. Yeah, I mean, it’s really important. And I
think, nowadays, you know, for people with families. And not to mention
just our little devices going off and pinging us all the time. You know,
it’s– it’s getting harder and harder to create that– that block of
undisturbed, focused, umm, uninterrupted time for yourself, I think.
Better@English

SPEECH
1. Extemporaneous
2. Loose structure
3. Process:
synchronous with
revision
WRITING
1. Planned
2. Tight structure
3. Product:
asynchronous with
revision

We need to talk about dealing with distractions and, um, interruptions when
we’re trying to work. Yeah, I mean, it’s really important. And I think,
nowadays, you know, for people with families. And not to mention just our
little devices going off and pinging us all the time. You know, it’s– it’s getting
harder and harder to create that– that block of undisturbed, focused, umm,
uninterrupted time for yourself, I think.
Better@English
Grade Level?

Subject Matter WritersReaders
Legalese
Learning
Disabilities
I
Immigration &
2nd language
Academia Bureaucracy
Limited
Schooling

Plain Language 2.0
 Locating
 Understanding
 Acting upon
… relevant
information
Text Appeal
Text Content
Purpose
Text Structure
APT3

Migraine is a type of headache that can cause
pounding pain, nausea, vomiting…
Migraine is a neurologic disorder, characterized by
paroxysmal attacks of unilateral throbbing
headache…
layman
Prior knowledge, lexicon, register, etc.
expert

Your TOPIC is the primary lifeline
to your readers’ prior knowledge
PURPOSE:

Directions, Logic, Organization
?
TEXT
STRUCTURE:

Introducing Translation Studies
Jeremy Munday
Translation Changes
Everything
Lawrence Venuti

Grammaticality & ConnectivityText Content
 Word Order
 Semantic Roles
 Syntax
SUBJECT + VERB + OBJECT + COMPLEMENT + ADJUNCT
main event supporting necessary optional
character character modifier modifier
Grammaticality & Connectivity
X’
XP
SP
AP
X’
X
X’
CP
AP
The IRS will generally consider the offer acceptable when the
amount will not cause hardship.

The Secret is in the… Parsing
 proper noun: place
 common noun: animal
 verb: “bullying”
buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo.Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.
that
Steel knives are made from is often high-carbon steel.
that / RELATIVE CLAUSE
Steel knives are often made from high-carbon steel.

Grammaticality & ConnectivityText Content Grammaticality & Connectivity
Cohesion & Coherence
(visible) (latent)
1. Lexical
-pronouns, repetitions
-synonyms, hyponyms, hypernyms
-definitions, explanations
-word families and thematic lexicons
2. Grammatical
-ellipsis
-references: co-text, context, cognition
-syntactic recasting (paraphrasing)
-discourse markers and punctuation
(visible) (latent)
1. Lexical
2. Grammatical
-ellipsis
1. Lexical
2. Grammatical
-ellipsis

Word Families & Thematic Lexicons
Semantic Frames

(visible) (latent)
1. Lexical
2. Grammatical
-ellipsis
(visible) (latent)
1. Lexical
2. Grammatical
-ellipsis

Reference
 Co-text
anaphora, cataphora,
substitution, temporal structure
 Context
intertext,
situation, interlocutors
 Cognition
prior knowledge of subject matter
& the world

Co-text Reference: Meaning
Police Report (uses 3rd person!)
*When he walked into the store, the suspect was wearing a mask.
When the suspect walked into the store, he was wearing a mask.
Obscures meaning
?
They’ll eat just about anything, from fruits … to pests, as well as
species that most mammals can’t safely prey upon like rattlesnakes.
This allows them to be remarkably adaptable to new habitats…
Opossums also have opposable thumbs and prehensile tails... Although
their hairless tail and pointy snout gives them a similar appearance to
rats, opossums are not even in the same family

Although I suspect that not many folks would agree with me in calling
opossums ‘cute,’ I hope I’ve inspired in you a more positive perception
of these nocturnal marsupials.
Context Reference
We believe that every act of conservation matters
[… and] contributes to the collective positive
outcome for the environment.
The opossum complaints received are usually due to one of three
reasons: opossums are nesting somewhere in the home, they are
stealing garbage, or they are harassing pets.
Pest Trapping Service
Tips: How to get rid of opossums

Cognition Reference
Although their hairless tail and pointy snout
gives them a similar appearance to rats,
opossums are not even in the same family as
rodents.

Reference Blunder
A flawless tribute to water, Bernini's Fountain of the Four
Rivers glorified the four major rivers of the Old World —
The Nile, Ganges, Danube, and Rio Plata.
Water, Langdon thought. The final marker. It was perfect.
Angels and Demons by Dan Brown
¡La Fuente de los Cuatro Ríos! Un tributo perfecto al agua,
la Fuente de los Cuatro Ríos de Bernini glorificaba los cuatro
ríos principales del Antiguo Mundo: el Nilo, el Ganges,
el Danubio y el Río de la Plata.
Agua, pensó Langdon. El indicador final. Era perfecto.
A flawless tribute to water, Bernini's Fountain of the Four
Rivers glorified the four major rivers of the Old World —
The Nile, Ganges, Danube, and Rio Plata.
Water, Langdon thought. The final marker. It was perfect.
Angels and Demons by Dan Brown

(visible) (latent)
1. Lexical
2. Grammatical
-ellipsis
-recasting (syntactic paraphrasing)
(visible) (latent)
2. Grammatical
-ellipsis
-recasting (syntactic paraphrasing)

Recastin: Syntactic Paraphrasing
Subject = Agent = Topic?
>> rearrange structure but preserve semantic roles
 Topicalization
 Effect or meaning
 Lighten memory
 Separate bad neighbors
 Expedite processing of references

Recasting: Starting from Basic SVO Order
 Subject Clause
 Extraposed Subject Clause
 Existential Clause
 Dummy Subject
That Rebecca would harbor doubts was inevitable.
It was inevitable that Rebecca would harbor doubts.
There was a long discussion.
There ensued a long discussion.

Recasting (cont’d)
 Cleft
 Pseudo-cleft
It was at the hospital that Jack convinced Rebecca.
It was Jack who convinced Rebecca.
It was Rebecca who(m) Jack convinced.
What Jack wanted was to adopt the baby.

 Fronting for Meaning or Effect
Through his interpreter, he was advised to force fluids.
The Virginia opossum is the only marsupial species in North
America. Like kangaroos and other marsupials, female opossums
rear their young in a fur-lined pouch ______________.

 Verb Choice: = event ≠ perspective
give-receive / rob-steal / buy-sell / lend-borrow
The Mona Lisa was famously stolen in 1911, after three handymen hid
all night in the art-supply closet of the Louvre.
The Louvre was famously robbed in 1911, when three Italian
handymen hid in the art supply closet to take the Mona Lisa.

The baby, Jack tells his wife, had been brought to the
hospital by a fireman, who had been dissuaded from
adopting the child himself.
 Passive Voice: agent is
Unknown
Ir/Relevant to object view
(Process vs. Product)
Heavy and new!

Examples
 Cleft
 Pseudo-cleft
The photographer has documented communities facing climate
change around the world, but it was Bhutan that struck a chord
with him for its sense of resilience.
What first inspired Jazbec to visit and try to capture the
country's resilient spirit in photographs was actually [the prime
minister’s] message…

A ban on DDT saved the peregrine falcon from extinction.
An ornithologist at Cornell University helped as well. He
invented a mating hat. This story can be confirmed by Googling
it. Female falcons had become scarce. However, a few wistful
males maintained a sort of sexual loitering ground. So, the
ornithologist imagined, constructed, and then wore the mating
hat. He then patrolled the loitering ground, singing like a bird
and bowing like a Japanese Buddhist…
A ban on DDT saved the peregrine falcon from extinction.
An ornithologist at Cornell University helped as well. He
invented a mating hat. You can confirm this story by Googling it.
Female falcons had become scarce. However, a few wistful
males maintained a sort of sexual loitering ground. So, the
ornithologist imagined, constructed, and then wore the mating
hat. He then patrolled the loitering ground, singing like a bird
and bowing like a Japanese Buddhist…
Examples: Plain Language?

The peregrine falcon was brought back from the brink of
extinction by a ban on DDT, but also by a peregrine-falcon
mating hat invented by an ornithologist at Cornell University. If
you can’t buy this, Google it. Female falcons had grown
dangerously scarce. A few wistful males nevertheless
maintained a sort of sexual loitering ground. The hat was
imagined, constructed, then forthrightly worn by the ornithologist
as he patrolled this loitering ground, singing, Chee-up! Chee-
up! and bowing like an overpolite Japanese Buddhist trying to
tell somebody goodbye…
The peregrine falcon was brought back from the brink of
extinction by a ban on DDT, but also by a peregrine-falcon
mating hat invented by an ornithologist at Cornell University. If
you can’t buy this, Google it. Female falcons had grown
dangerously scarce. A few wistful males nevertheless
maintained a sort of sexual loitering ground. The hat was
imagined, constructed, then forthrightly worn by the ornithologist
as he patrolled this loitering ground, singing, Chee-up! Chee-
up! and bowing like an overpolite Japanese Buddhist trying to
tell somebody goodbye…

Practice: Recasting for meaning
For several weeks, the young man had involuntary
seminal fluid emission when he engaged in foreplay.
Riding a motorcycle, the patient was
side-swiped by a car.

Cohesion Recap
Lexical
 pronouns, repetitions
 synonyms, hyponyms, hypernyms
 definitions, explanations
 word families and topical lexicons
Grammatical
 ellipsis
 references
 recasting
 discourse markers
 punctuation
 Subject Clause
 Extraposed Subject
 Cleft
 Pseudo-cleft
 Existential Clause
 Dummy Subject
 Fronting Adjuncts
 Verb Choice
 Passive
 Co-text
 Context
 Cognition
Lexical
 pronouns, repetitions
 synonyms, hyponyms, hypernyms
 definitions, explanations
 word families and topical lexicons
Grammatical
 ellipsis
 references
 recasting
 discourse markers
 punctuation

(visible) (latent)
 Topic & Isotopies
 Information Flow
 Connections
 Connections

Isotopies: webs of meaning
Isaac Newton was not a pleasant man. His
relations with other academics were notorious,
with most of his later life spent embroiled in
heated disputes. Newton […] clashed with the
Astronomer Royal, John Flamsteed, who […]
was now withholding information that Newton
wanted. […] Eventually, he arranged for
Flamsteed's work to be seized and prepared for
publication by Flamsteed's mortal enemy,
Edmond Halley. But Flamsteed took the case to
court …
A Brief History of Time by Stephen Hawking
Q: Do you believe in clubs for
young people?
Which of these things does
not belong?
1. Blue
2. Yellow
3. Magenta
4. Cyan
Q: Do you believe in clubs for
young people?
A: Only when kindness fails.
Linguistics Theories of Humor by Salvatore Attardo

Information Flow: message progression
The Virginia opossum is the only marsupial species in North America. Female
opossums raise their young in a fur-lined pouch like kangaroos. Opossums
have human-like thumbs and grasping tails. They use their thumbs and tails to
climb trees. Opossums look like rats because they have hairless tails and pointy
snouts. But opossums and rats are in different families.
The Virginia opossum is the only marsupial species in North America. Like
kangaroos and other marsupials, female opossums rear their young in a fur-
lined pouch. Opossums also have opposable thumbs and prehensile tails that
they use to help themselves climb trees. Although their hairless tail and pointy
snout gives them a similar appearance to rats, opossums are not even in the
same family as rodents.

The Virginia opossum is the only marsupial species in …
Female opossums raise their young in a fur-lined pouch …
Opossums have human-like thumbs and grasping tails.
They use their thumbs and tails to climb trees.
The Virginia opossum is the only marsupial species in…
Like kangaroos and other marsupials, female opossums rear…
Opossums also have opposable thumbs and prehensile tails…
Although their hairless tail and pointy snout gives them …

(visible) (latent)
 Connections
 Connections
how one thought
leads to another
1. Resemblance
2. Contiguity
3. Cause & Effect
Patient has chest pains if she lies on her left side for over a year.

The researchers placed trout in cages downstream from sewage
treatment plants and in a few weeks the males began to have elevated
levels of a protein called vitellogenin in their blood. Vitellogenin is the
protein responsible for making egg yolks in female fish. Little, if any,
vitellogenin is normally found in the blood of male fish. Something
coming out of sewage treatment plants was having an estrogenic effect
on the fish. Every sewage treatment plant in England had the same
effect.
The British researchers tested a few common industrial chemicals to see
if they could stimulate the production of vitellogenin in trout under
laboratory conditions. They found several chemicals that did so. The
more of these chemicals the mail fish were exposed to, the more they
developed female characteristics.
The Meaning of the 21st Century
James Martin
The researchers placed trout in cages downstream from sewage
treatment plants and in a few weeks the males began to have elevated
levels of a protein called vitellogenin in their blood. Vitellogenin is the
protein responsible for making egg yolks in female fish. Little, if any,
vitellogenin is normally found in the blood of male fish. Something
coming out of sewage treatment plants was having an estrogenic effect
on the fish. Every sewage treatment plant in England had the same
effect.
The British researchers tested a few common industrial chemicals to see
if they could stimulate the production of vitellogenin in trout under
laboratory conditions. They found several chemicals that did so. The
more of these chemicals the mail fish were exposed to, the more they
developed female characteristics.
The Meaning of the 21st Century
James Martin

 Similarity
 Contrast
 Elaboration
 Exemplification
-range
 Exception
Like kangaroos and other marsupials, female
opossums rear their young in a fur-lined pouch.
They do not dig holes, although they will readily seek
shelter in holes dug by other animals.
They act as “nature’s cleanup crew”—they often eat leftovers
other animals can’t or won’t eat,
Resemblance
They’ll eat just about anything, from fruits, nuts, and grass to
pests like garden slugs, cockroaches, and ticks.
Although their hairless tail and pointy snout gives them a similar
appearance to rats, opossums are not even in the same family
as rodents

 Effect
 Cause
 Dismissal
of cause
or effect
Cause & Effect
Their body temperature is too low to host the rabies virus, so
opossums are nearly impervious to rabies.
They are nearly impervious to rabies because their body
temperature is too low to host the rabies virus
You might think opossums are vicious because […] they put up a
fierce display, baring their teeth and hissing. But that’s all just a
front – they won’t actually attack.
Opossums won’t actually attack, even though you might think they
are vicious because they can put up a fierce display, baring their
teeth and hissing.
(restatement)

Participants assigned to a study treatment group will make 10
visits over a 7-week period. These visits will be paid for by the
study. Regardless of group assignment, all participants will be
contacted at 2, 6, and 12 months after the start of the study for
about a 20-minute telephone interview.
GroupHealth Before Text
Grade Level? Clinical Trial Text for Patients

If you are in a study treatment group, you will make 10 visits over a
7-week period. The study will pay for these visits. No matter which
group you are in, we will call you for three phone surveys that will
last about 20 minutes each. These surveys will take place 2, 6,
and 12 months after you join the study.
Grade Level?

Participants assigned to a study treatment group will
make 10 visits over a 7-week period. These visits will
be paid for by the study. Regardless of group
assignment, all participants will be contacted at 2, 6,
and 12 months after the start of the study for about a
20-minute telephone interview.
T1 R1
T2 R2
T3
R3
R4
R6 R5
Clinical Trial Text for Patients – BEFORE

If you are in a study treatment group, you will make
10 visits over a 7-week period. The study will pay for
these visits. No matter which group you are in, we
will call you for three phone surveys that will last
about 20 minutes each. These surveys will take place
2, 6, and 12 months after you join the study.
Clinical Trial Text for Patients – AFTER?
T1 R1
T2 R2
T3
R3
R4
T R

You will take three phone surveys at 2, 6, and 12
months after you join the study. These surveys will
last about 20 minutes each. If you are in a study
treatment group, you will also make 10 office visits
over a period of 7 weeks. These visits will be free of
charge.
T1 R1
T2 R2
T3 R3
T4 R4
Clinical Trial Text for Patients – AFTER

Grade Level?
all patients actions + when / cost
survey + months / time
some patients actions + when / cost
visit weeks / money
BEFORE AFTER

During weeks 3-6, participants, regardless of group assignment, visited
the clinic once daily during weekdays. Participants in the abstinence
group received monetary incentives if their CO levels were less than 6
ppm. Prior to the incentivized visits, participants were told to smoke in
their normal fashion and to begin preparing to quit smoking. During the
first 2 weeks of participation, all participants, regardless of group
assignment, visited the clinic once weekly. At the end of the second
week…
Clinical Trial Text for Peers – BEFORE

During the first 2 weeks of the study, all participants visited the
clinic once weekly. They were told to smoke in their normal fashion
and to begin preparing to quit smoking. At the end of the second
week, participants were assigned to either an abstinence or an
attendance group. During weeks 3-6, all participants visited the clinic
once daily on weekdays. Participants in the abstinence group
received monetary incentives if their CO levels were less than 6
ppm.
Clinical Trial Text for Peers
AFTER WITH STRUCTURE IN MIND

In California’s public policy pursuit of transparency in property information
between sellers and buyers, the disclosure obligations of the seller’s
agent to voluntarily inform prospective buyers about the fundamentals of
the listed property act to eliminate asymmetry and power relationships in
sales transactions. Thus, the seller’s agent is severely limited in their
ability to engage in any conduct or means at hand to exploit the
prospective buyer’s lack of knowledge about the condition of the property
by use of these disclosures.
California Realtors Training Text

Adequacy
ContentPurpose Structure Appeal
Text Building
● Cohesion ● Coherence
 Isotopies
 Flow
 ConnectionsSubject Clause
Extraposed
Cleft / Pseudo-cleft
Existential
Dummy Subject
Fronting
Verb Choice
Passive
Co-text
Context
Cognition
 Lexical
 Grammatical
o Resemblance
o Contiguity
o Cause/Effect
Grammaticality
Connectivity
● Word Order ● Semantic Roles ● Syntax
o References
o Recasting

Image Attributions
Most images are sourced through for-fee accounts at
123rf.com & Clipart.com
All Logos and Trademarks and the property of their respective owners
and are used in this presentation for educational purposes

Add Style to Your Writing Without Sacrificing Clarity

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