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Bats are
adorable,
disgusting
jerks
By Hannah Darcy
21 March 2020
There are two kinds of bats
Bats are
disgusting, but
important
One colony in Austin, TX eats 10
tons of insects in a single night
Very important pollinators
Bats don’t get sick Coevolution with viruses
Bat evolution:
● Less inflammation during an
infection = less damage
● Flight is metabolically expensive
- body temp exceeds 100*F
● Excrete viruses in their urine
+1 for viruses:
● Bats can get reinfected
● Flying + urination = dispersal
Bats piss excellence - I mean, viruses
Coronaviruses
● SARS, MERS, COVID-19
Lyssaviruses
● Rabies
Hantaviruses
Henipaviruses
● Nipah virus (inspiration for
the virus in the movie
Contagion)
Filoviruses
● Ebola
Bats also mate with anything that moves
Basically, 2 phases each spring: active and passive phase
Active phase: everyone mates with everything
Passive phase: females go into hibernation. Males continue mating with
everything, including sleepy females (35% of copulations in this phase are
homosexual)
Little brown bats (Myotis lucifugus) are known to respond to mating calls of
other species
This is all great news for the viruses
High-density colonies
Tons of contact among individuals AND among species
Each bat virus will infect 4.51 bat species, compared to 2.76 for rodents
= GIANT VIRUS CESSPOOL in a mammal that can FLY
ANYWHERE and will MATE WITH ANYTHING
Don’t eat bats
The End

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Bats are jerks

  • 2. There are two kinds of bats
  • 3.
  • 4. Bats are disgusting, but important One colony in Austin, TX eats 10 tons of insects in a single night Very important pollinators
  • 5. Bats don’t get sick Coevolution with viruses Bat evolution: ● Less inflammation during an infection = less damage ● Flight is metabolically expensive - body temp exceeds 100*F ● Excrete viruses in their urine +1 for viruses: ● Bats can get reinfected ● Flying + urination = dispersal
  • 6. Bats piss excellence - I mean, viruses Coronaviruses ● SARS, MERS, COVID-19 Lyssaviruses ● Rabies Hantaviruses Henipaviruses ● Nipah virus (inspiration for the virus in the movie Contagion) Filoviruses ● Ebola
  • 7. Bats also mate with anything that moves Basically, 2 phases each spring: active and passive phase Active phase: everyone mates with everything Passive phase: females go into hibernation. Males continue mating with everything, including sleepy females (35% of copulations in this phase are homosexual) Little brown bats (Myotis lucifugus) are known to respond to mating calls of other species
  • 8. This is all great news for the viruses High-density colonies Tons of contact among individuals AND among species Each bat virus will infect 4.51 bat species, compared to 2.76 for rodents = GIANT VIRUS CESSPOOL in a mammal that can FLY ANYWHERE and will MATE WITH ANYTHING

Editor's Notes

  1. Saturday, March 21st PUI. The first remote PUI, due to COVID-19 pandemic
  2. Marcrobats. Fruit-eating, adorable. They have great vision and don’t echolocate
  3. Microbats. Freaky-looking jerks. Poor vision, echolocation.
  4. Both mirobats and macrobats carry diseases
  5. Egyptian Fruit Bat (I think) Its testes weight 2% of its body mass - equivalent to a 200lb adult man with two-2lb balls