An innovative language-based approach to classroom discipline

1. EnhancedTeachingTechniques in Language-Based Discipline
A Psychoeducation forTeachers Skill-Building Guide

2.  Here are some “tricks of the trade” in
language-based discipline so that teachers
and parents get better results when
disciplining angry and/or noncompliant
children.

3.  When disciplining, reduce the tone of your
voice and speak s-l-o-w-e-r.This helps you
both in projecting self-confidence and in
remaining calm. Louder and angrier
statements, on the other hand, conceal the
message beneath all the noise and harsh
words that accompany them.

4.  Do not dwell on past behavior, or something
that happened weeks earlier. Correct only
behavior that is happening here and now.

5.  Change “You-messages” to “I-messages.” For
example, instead of saying, “You are such a
potty mouth!” say, “I feel uneasy because I
don’t like being cursed.”

6.  When you address misbehavior, keep it simple
but keep it challenging.The simplest and most
challenging message that we can deliver to a
child with recurrent behavior problems is,
“Connect with the best in you.” Focus the
child on her best qualities and in how those
qualities can help in strengthening weaker
performance.

7.  Build on what the child is doing well already,
concentrating in spreading out positive
behavior to weaker areas of performance.
Simply put, let the child know that “If you can
do it here, you can do it there.”

8.  Use language that communicates your
expectation that the negative behavior is
going to change; it is just a matter of when
(time). For example, you can say, “In the next
few days, when you are no longer feeling
angry about this…”

9.  Conversely, talk about negative behaviors as
if they were something from a distant past,
even when the behavior happened just five
minutes earlier.Always talk about negative
behaviors using the past tense of verbs.

10.  At the same time that you are talking about
misbehavior as something from the past, use
verbs in the future tense to build positive
expectations and to “open” the child’s mind (to
make the child receptive) to more positive
expectations.Talk about how things are going to
be (how the behavior is going to improve)
sometimes in the future, but without specifying
when. Keep “change” unstated and indefinite, so
that it comes when the child feels ready for it.

11.  Make sure the child knows that although he
does his behavior, he is not the behavior.
Replace messages that label the child’s
character (e.g. “You are selfish”) with
messages that label actions (e.g., “You are
acting in a selfish way.”) Simply put, label the
behavior, not the student.

12.  Use behavior specific language, describing
what you see, hear, and can touch. Steer clear
from inferences, interpretations, and
judgments of the behavior.You can start a
discussion about a particular behavior saying
something like, “Let us talk about the way
you handled this situation with Kevin.”

13.  Your messages to the child should be more
about “Be the best you can be” (the child’s
goal), and less about “Be the way I want you
to be” (your goal).

14.  Discipline is more effective and long-lasting
when it comes from within (self-discipline),
rather than being imposed by an external
source. Help the child identify a long-term
goal, breaking it down into easier and more
manageable steps (short-term goals), so that
the child experiences success in smaller
increments. Nothing builds success like
success; with the long-term goal in mind,
strive for self-discipline.

15.  Ensure that the child takes responsibility for the
behavior choices she makes.The child needs to
understand both that her behavior is her choice
and that choices have consequences; and these
consequences can be either positive or negative.
Once the child understands behavior as a choice,
you can start building a lesson for life: “Because
I’m the one responsible for the choices I make,
I’m the only person responsible for the things I
do.”

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17. Now you can get the
book that puts it all
together!
WatchYour Language!
Ways ofTalking and Interacting
with Students that Crack the
Behavior Code
To preview this book on
Amazon, visit my Author Page
(Books in Child Guidance)