From the Psychoeducation for Teachers Series

1. From the Psychoeducation for Teachers
Series

2.  On his classic, “How to Influence Children: A
Handbook of Practical Child Guidance Skills”
Schaefer (1994) defines a suggestion as bringing a
thought or an idea to the child’s mind for consideration.
A suggestion carries no pressure to comply, for
instance, “You might want to consider this…” or
“Maybe if we tried this way…” The author adds, “A
blend of encouragement, positive suggestion, and
persuasion is the act of attributing to children a positive
quality of behavior where there is only the slightest
evidence that they actually posses it. In other words,
you attempt to inspire children to behave in a positive
way by suggesting that they are already behaving that
way to some degree.” (p. 167)

3.  If you really try hard, you will do better. Everyone who has tried very
hard has done better the second time, and I’m sure you can too.
 You seem much stronger than you have ever been.
 I know you are going to be very brave.
 I know you will do the right thing. I get the feeling that you really want
to settle this issue with Justin.
 (Shy child) Boy, you really stuck for your rights this time. The way
you just held your ground with Ricky tells me that you will not be
pushed around so easily anymore. You are really asserting yourself
lately.
 (Messy sloppy) At heart, you are really an orderly child. I know you
want to keep things neat and orderly so that you can find them.
 Your desk seems cleaner lately.
 Our class is clean and does not litter. (Adapted from Schaefer, 1994)

4.  To increase children’s compliance with our
persuasive messages and suggestions, some
guidelines adapted from Schaefer (1994) and from
Schaefer and Millman (1994) are…
 Persuade the student to make a larger
commitment by asking for a smaller commitment
first. For example, asking the child to read only the
first three pages of the chapter, and once she
complies, we ask her to finish reading the chapter.
 You can start with a request you know the child will
reject, followed by a second request that requires
less effort.

5.  Do not phrase your requests negatively (e.g., “You
don’t want finish reading this story, do you?”).
State your requests using positive language, for
example, “You want to finish reading this story, do
you?”
 Use either/or questions, for example, “Do you want
to read one story or two?”
 Use freedom of choice to influence the child in
feeling that what she is doing is her own idea, not
yours. For example, “What would you rather do
_____ or _____?” Freedom of choice questions
are stated regularly as “either/or” questions.

6.  Use indirect suggestions. For example, you might say, “From
what you are saying, you feel that the best way to settle this
issue is for you to ask Devon to return your sharpener.” With
an indirect suggestion, we strengthen an idea that is already
present in the child’s mind. However, although we may have
only minimal evidence of what the child is thinking, our
“evidence” should not be too discrepant from reality.
 Present your recommendations as tentative suggestions, so
that you give the student the opportunity to accept or to reject
your suggestion. Your suggestion should carry no pressure to
comply, for example, “You might want to think about _____” or
“Maybe if you try it this way…”
 You can help develop positive and more constructive ideas
and suggestions in the child’s mind by saying, for example,
“Have you considered _____ yet?”

7.  Use interspersed suggestions by changing the tone of
your voice or talking slower to emphasize key ideas.
 To change a student’s (or class) low self-image, keep
repeating the same positive and optimistic message
until it becomes true. This persuasive technique is
known as attributing positive qualities. For example, for
a messy class, we keep telling them that they are
becoming neater and tidy every day. This technique
can do wonders if you present the positive quality in
small increments, so that the child or class gets the
message that today they are “a little bit neater than
yesterday” and tomorrow they will be “a little bit neater
than today.”

8.  You can influence positive change and reduce
negative and/or disruptive behaviors using positive
labeling. To do this, select a behavior that you
would like to see more in your students (e.g.
keeping their desks organized). Three or more
times a day, for several days, make an “I like…”
comment about the target behavior, and reward
the target behavior when you see it in a student or
the class.
 Use persuasive appeals, for example, saying,
“Your mom is going to love it when she hears that
you finished all your work today.”

9.  It is important that you point out positive aspects of
the target behavior from the child’s perspective,
not from the teacher’s perspective. Link the
positive behavior with one of the child’s needs,
desires, feelings (e.g. happiness or pride), or
values (e.g. to be a “good child,” to be well liked, to
have fun, to be smart, or to be mature). Here, you
are making apparent to the child what he wants
and how the new behavior is going to help him in
getting what he wants. This way, you are
increasing the value of changing his behavior by
associating the change to something that the child
wants or needs.

10.  I know you will have fun doing this.
 That looks like the smart thing to do.
 You like reading about asteroids; this book looks
interesting. Maybe you are wondering what this book is
about.
 If you keep hitting other children, nobody will want to play
with you. You are going to feel lonely.
 When you no longer hit other children, everybody will
want to be friends with you. Then, you can show them
what a fun person you are.

11.  In persuasive discipline, nothing is more powerful in
influencing children’s behavior than using hidden
commands and hidden suggestions. In a hidden
command or suggestion, the other words in the sentence
and/or in the paragraph hide the command,
consequently, weakening any opposition that the child
may have to the command. Reread the examples
presented previously, but this time, pay special attention
to the phrases in italics… Those are the hidden
commands.

12. 1. Schaefer, C.E. (1994). How to influence
children: A handbook of practical child
guidance skills. (Second Edition).
Northvale, NJ: Jason Aronson.
2. Schaefer, C. E., & Millman, H. (1994).
How to help children with common
problems. Northvale, NJ: Jason Aronson.

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