4. Redundancy
• The board members did not want to repeat the debate again, so they
had a frank and honest discussion during which they identified some
basic essential ideas.
• The board members did not want to repeat the debate, so they had a
frank discussion during which they identified some basic ideas.
To fix redundancy, remove one of the redundant terms.
5. Repetition
• The quarterback passed the football, but the lineman raised his
meaty hand and batted the football away.
• The quarterback passed the football, but the lineman raised his
meaty hand and batted it away.
To fix repetition, remove one of the repeated words or replace it with
another word.
6. Empty Phrases
• Because of the fact because
• Due to the fact that because
• In order to to
• It is necessary that must
7. Empty Phrases
• By virtue of the fact that at the current time we do not have sufficient
funding, the skateboard park will not be built.
• Because currently we do not have sufficient funding, the skateboard
park will not be built.
8. Nominalizations
• Nouns made from adjectives or verbs
• Analyze Analysis
• Solve Solution
• Conclude Conclusion
• Demonstrate Demonstration
Adjective/verb
Nominalization
9. 3 Signs You’re Dealing with a Nominalization
1. You have a noun…
2. …preceded by one of these words…
• A, an, the, his, her, these, several
3. … and followed by “of”
10. Nominalizations
• During the strike, the accumulation of garbage carried on for fifteen
days.
• During the strike, garbage accumulated for fifteen days.
To fix a nominalization, change it back into a verb/adjective.
11. Weak Verbs
To be To get To occur
To make To go To use
To do To have
12. Weak Verbs
• The budget proposal before the legislature is to do with tax cuts and
massive reductions in public-sector spending.
• The budget proposal before the legislature recommends tax cuts and
massive reductions in public-sector spending.
To fix a weak verb, substitute a more vivid, specific verb.
14. It is / There is
• There is a picture of Pierre Trudeau playing baseball that shows the
energy he brought to the prime minister’s office.
• A picture of Pierre Trudeau playing baseball shows the energy he
brought to the prime minister’s office.
To fix this issue, rewrite the sentence to remove the expletive (it is/
there are phrase).
15. Passive Voice
• The actor is missing or takes on a passive role in the sentence.
16. Passive Voice
• It is advised by the board that we go forward with the deposition.
• The board advises that we go forward with the deposition.
To fix the passive voice, rewrite the sentence in the active voice.
