This document provides sarcastic tips for writing a horrible journal paper, including refusing to read previous literature, plagiarizing, omitting key components, disrespecting previous work, overestimating one's contribution, using ambiguous and inconsistent language, applying incorrect referencing, preferring subjective statements over objective ones, and ignoring editor and reviewer comments. The overall message is that following these tips will result in a low-quality paper that is rejected for publication.

1. Tips for
writing a truly
horrible
journal paper
Refuse to
read the
previous
literature
published in
your field Take the lazy
route and
plagiarize
Omit key
article
components
Disrespect
previous
publications
Overestimate
your
contribution
Excel in
ambiguity
and
inconsistency
Apply
incorrect
referencing
of statements
Prefer
subjective
over
objective
statements
Give little
care to
grammar,
spelling,
figures and
tables
Ignore editor
and reviewer
comments
Publication pressure is not a valid excuse
for an incomplete literature review.
Simply copy and paste one or a group
of sentences without adding the proper
quotation marks and citations to the
original work. Or maybe copy the
results themselves
leave out a
detailed
description of
research
methodology so
that no-one else
can reproduce
your work.
Some authors
think that
citing the work
of others
detracts from
the novelty of
their own
contribution.
The opposite is
true.
Your own work is much better,
more thorough and your
conclusions more widely
applicable than previous work
by others, right?
you can also try to provoke the
editor and/or reviewers by
disrespectfully dismissing valid and
important comments. Less
disrespectful,
The fastest way to lose
the confidence of the
editor, reviewers and
readers in your work is to
follow this tip.
Irrespective of
the adjective,
providing this
type of subjective
statement is not
only imprecise
and inappropriate
but also creates a
straight path to
disagreement
with reviewers
and readers.
Adding references where
not needed and – even
worse – not adding
references where needed is
bound to lead to confusion
and misinterpretation of
your statements.
Readers cannot read your mind; they can only read
your article.