SlideShare a Scribd company logo
1 of 13
“When people think you're
dying, they really, really listen to
you, instead of just..
...instead of just waiting for their
turn to speak?” – Fight Club ”
AS
S
UME
Don’t ASS YOU ME
• What’s that like for YOU?
• What might YOU need?
Stay CURIOUS!
• You never really know them.
• They feel different from you.
• They think different from you.
• They need different solutions from you.
AREAS OF
RESPONSIBILITY
BOUNDARIES – What is mine? What is yours?
What happens if you take responsibility for
that which you have no control over?
AREAS OF
RESPONSIBILITY
My boundaries are
healthy and include only
my own
feelings, thinking, action
s.My boundaries include their
feelings, thinking, actions.
I’m in your space, but I don’t know it
and I think you want it or need it.

More Related Content

More from Joel Young

Cross matching of bruises, or vulnerability cylce and using non violent commu...
Cross matching of bruises, or vulnerability cylce and using non violent commu...Cross matching of bruises, or vulnerability cylce and using non violent commu...
Cross matching of bruises, or vulnerability cylce and using non violent commu...Joel Young
 
Joel Young 2015 - Rethinking J.O.Y. and Jesus Radical Empathy
Joel Young 2015 - Rethinking J.O.Y. and Jesus Radical EmpathyJoel Young 2015 - Rethinking J.O.Y. and Jesus Radical Empathy
Joel Young 2015 - Rethinking J.O.Y. and Jesus Radical EmpathyJoel Young
 
Grace for noobs
Grace for noobsGrace for noobs
Grace for noobsJoel Young
 
Joel Young and med pro - stress and resilience (handout)
Joel Young and med pro  - stress and resilience (handout)Joel Young and med pro  - stress and resilience (handout)
Joel Young and med pro - stress and resilience (handout)Joel Young
 
Joel Young and CYC Trust - self care and rescuing
Joel Young and CYC Trust - self care and rescuingJoel Young and CYC Trust - self care and rescuing
Joel Young and CYC Trust - self care and rescuingJoel Young
 
Joel Young - Negotiation Skills
Joel Young - Negotiation SkillsJoel Young - Negotiation Skills
Joel Young - Negotiation SkillsJoel Young
 
Vulnerable God (Christian worldview)
Vulnerable God (Christian worldview)Vulnerable God (Christian worldview)
Vulnerable God (Christian worldview)Joel Young
 
Joel Young - BYM - UBF's
Joel Young - BYM - UBF'sJoel Young - BYM - UBF's
Joel Young - BYM - UBF'sJoel Young
 
Joel Young - BYM 2012 - Stages of my life journey...and maybe yours too!
Joel Young - BYM 2012 - Stages of my life journey...and maybe yours too!Joel Young - BYM 2012 - Stages of my life journey...and maybe yours too!
Joel Young - BYM 2012 - Stages of my life journey...and maybe yours too!Joel Young
 
Joel Young - BYM 2012 - Conversations that Count
Joel Young - BYM 2012 - Conversations that CountJoel Young - BYM 2012 - Conversations that Count
Joel Young - BYM 2012 - Conversations that CountJoel Young
 
Emotional Health from a biblical and CBT perspective.
Emotional Health from a biblical and CBT perspective.Emotional Health from a biblical and CBT perspective.
Emotional Health from a biblical and CBT perspective.Joel Young
 
Joel young - how to win friends and influence people
Joel young - how to win friends and influence peopleJoel young - how to win friends and influence people
Joel young - how to win friends and influence peopleJoel Young
 
Getting What You Need
Getting What You NeedGetting What You Need
Getting What You NeedJoel Young
 
Godsloveandourmind
GodsloveandourmindGodsloveandourmind
GodsloveandourmindJoel Young
 
The victim v's ownership
The victim v's ownershipThe victim v's ownership
The victim v's ownershipJoel Young
 
Truth lies and manure
Truth lies and manure Truth lies and manure
Truth lies and manure Joel Young
 

More from Joel Young (17)

Cross matching of bruises, or vulnerability cylce and using non violent commu...
Cross matching of bruises, or vulnerability cylce and using non violent commu...Cross matching of bruises, or vulnerability cylce and using non violent commu...
Cross matching of bruises, or vulnerability cylce and using non violent commu...
 
Joel Young 2015 - Rethinking J.O.Y. and Jesus Radical Empathy
Joel Young 2015 - Rethinking J.O.Y. and Jesus Radical EmpathyJoel Young 2015 - Rethinking J.O.Y. and Jesus Radical Empathy
Joel Young 2015 - Rethinking J.O.Y. and Jesus Radical Empathy
 
Grace for noobs
Grace for noobsGrace for noobs
Grace for noobs
 
Awareness
Awareness Awareness
Awareness
 
Joel Young and med pro - stress and resilience (handout)
Joel Young and med pro  - stress and resilience (handout)Joel Young and med pro  - stress and resilience (handout)
Joel Young and med pro - stress and resilience (handout)
 
Joel Young and CYC Trust - self care and rescuing
Joel Young and CYC Trust - self care and rescuingJoel Young and CYC Trust - self care and rescuing
Joel Young and CYC Trust - self care and rescuing
 
Joel Young - Negotiation Skills
Joel Young - Negotiation SkillsJoel Young - Negotiation Skills
Joel Young - Negotiation Skills
 
Vulnerable God (Christian worldview)
Vulnerable God (Christian worldview)Vulnerable God (Christian worldview)
Vulnerable God (Christian worldview)
 
Joel Young - BYM - UBF's
Joel Young - BYM - UBF'sJoel Young - BYM - UBF's
Joel Young - BYM - UBF's
 
Joel Young - BYM 2012 - Stages of my life journey...and maybe yours too!
Joel Young - BYM 2012 - Stages of my life journey...and maybe yours too!Joel Young - BYM 2012 - Stages of my life journey...and maybe yours too!
Joel Young - BYM 2012 - Stages of my life journey...and maybe yours too!
 
Joel Young - BYM 2012 - Conversations that Count
Joel Young - BYM 2012 - Conversations that CountJoel Young - BYM 2012 - Conversations that Count
Joel Young - BYM 2012 - Conversations that Count
 
Emotional Health from a biblical and CBT perspective.
Emotional Health from a biblical and CBT perspective.Emotional Health from a biblical and CBT perspective.
Emotional Health from a biblical and CBT perspective.
 
Joel young - how to win friends and influence people
Joel young - how to win friends and influence peopleJoel young - how to win friends and influence people
Joel young - how to win friends and influence people
 
Getting What You Need
Getting What You NeedGetting What You Need
Getting What You Need
 
Godsloveandourmind
GodsloveandourmindGodsloveandourmind
Godsloveandourmind
 
The victim v's ownership
The victim v's ownershipThe victim v's ownership
The victim v's ownership
 
Truth lies and manure
Truth lies and manure Truth lies and manure
Truth lies and manure
 

Recently uploaded

Interactive Powerpoint_How to Master effective communication
Interactive Powerpoint_How to Master effective communicationInteractive Powerpoint_How to Master effective communication
Interactive Powerpoint_How to Master effective communicationnomboosow
 
SOCIAL AND HISTORICAL CONTEXT - LFTVD.pptx
SOCIAL AND HISTORICAL CONTEXT - LFTVD.pptxSOCIAL AND HISTORICAL CONTEXT - LFTVD.pptx
SOCIAL AND HISTORICAL CONTEXT - LFTVD.pptxiammrhaywood
 
Advanced Views - Calendar View in Odoo 17
Advanced Views - Calendar View in Odoo 17Advanced Views - Calendar View in Odoo 17
Advanced Views - Calendar View in Odoo 17Celine George
 
18-04-UA_REPORT_MEDIALITERAСY_INDEX-DM_23-1-final-eng.pdf
18-04-UA_REPORT_MEDIALITERAСY_INDEX-DM_23-1-final-eng.pdf18-04-UA_REPORT_MEDIALITERAСY_INDEX-DM_23-1-final-eng.pdf
18-04-UA_REPORT_MEDIALITERAСY_INDEX-DM_23-1-final-eng.pdfssuser54595a
 
Activity 01 - Artificial Culture (1).pdf
Activity 01 - Artificial Culture (1).pdfActivity 01 - Artificial Culture (1).pdf
Activity 01 - Artificial Culture (1).pdfciinovamais
 
POINT- BIOCHEMISTRY SEM 2 ENZYMES UNIT 5.pptx
POINT- BIOCHEMISTRY SEM 2 ENZYMES UNIT 5.pptxPOINT- BIOCHEMISTRY SEM 2 ENZYMES UNIT 5.pptx
POINT- BIOCHEMISTRY SEM 2 ENZYMES UNIT 5.pptxSayali Powar
 
Employee wellbeing at the workplace.pptx
Employee wellbeing at the workplace.pptxEmployee wellbeing at the workplace.pptx
Employee wellbeing at the workplace.pptxNirmalaLoungPoorunde1
 
The Most Excellent Way | 1 Corinthians 13
The Most Excellent Way | 1 Corinthians 13The Most Excellent Way | 1 Corinthians 13
The Most Excellent Way | 1 Corinthians 13Steve Thomason
 
Hybridoma Technology ( Production , Purification , and Application )
Hybridoma Technology  ( Production , Purification , and Application  ) Hybridoma Technology  ( Production , Purification , and Application  )
Hybridoma Technology ( Production , Purification , and Application ) Sakshi Ghasle
 
Privatization and Disinvestment - Meaning, Objectives, Advantages and Disadva...
Privatization and Disinvestment - Meaning, Objectives, Advantages and Disadva...Privatization and Disinvestment - Meaning, Objectives, Advantages and Disadva...
Privatization and Disinvestment - Meaning, Objectives, Advantages and Disadva...RKavithamani
 
Grant Readiness 101 TechSoup and Remy Consulting
Grant Readiness 101 TechSoup and Remy ConsultingGrant Readiness 101 TechSoup and Remy Consulting
Grant Readiness 101 TechSoup and Remy ConsultingTechSoup
 
microwave assisted reaction. General introduction
microwave assisted reaction. General introductionmicrowave assisted reaction. General introduction
microwave assisted reaction. General introductionMaksud Ahmed
 
URLs and Routing in the Odoo 17 Website App
URLs and Routing in the Odoo 17 Website AppURLs and Routing in the Odoo 17 Website App
URLs and Routing in the Odoo 17 Website AppCeline George
 
Separation of Lanthanides/ Lanthanides and Actinides
Separation of Lanthanides/ Lanthanides and ActinidesSeparation of Lanthanides/ Lanthanides and Actinides
Separation of Lanthanides/ Lanthanides and ActinidesFatimaKhan178732
 
Student login on Anyboli platform.helpin
Student login on Anyboli platform.helpinStudent login on Anyboli platform.helpin
Student login on Anyboli platform.helpinRaunakKeshri1
 
Organic Name Reactions for the students and aspirants of Chemistry12th.pptx
Organic Name Reactions  for the students and aspirants of Chemistry12th.pptxOrganic Name Reactions  for the students and aspirants of Chemistry12th.pptx
Organic Name Reactions for the students and aspirants of Chemistry12th.pptxVS Mahajan Coaching Centre
 
Mastering the Unannounced Regulatory Inspection
Mastering the Unannounced Regulatory InspectionMastering the Unannounced Regulatory Inspection
Mastering the Unannounced Regulatory InspectionSafetyChain Software
 

Recently uploaded (20)

INDIA QUIZ 2024 RLAC DELHI UNIVERSITY.pptx
INDIA QUIZ 2024 RLAC DELHI UNIVERSITY.pptxINDIA QUIZ 2024 RLAC DELHI UNIVERSITY.pptx
INDIA QUIZ 2024 RLAC DELHI UNIVERSITY.pptx
 
Interactive Powerpoint_How to Master effective communication
Interactive Powerpoint_How to Master effective communicationInteractive Powerpoint_How to Master effective communication
Interactive Powerpoint_How to Master effective communication
 
SOCIAL AND HISTORICAL CONTEXT - LFTVD.pptx
SOCIAL AND HISTORICAL CONTEXT - LFTVD.pptxSOCIAL AND HISTORICAL CONTEXT - LFTVD.pptx
SOCIAL AND HISTORICAL CONTEXT - LFTVD.pptx
 
Advanced Views - Calendar View in Odoo 17
Advanced Views - Calendar View in Odoo 17Advanced Views - Calendar View in Odoo 17
Advanced Views - Calendar View in Odoo 17
 
TataKelola dan KamSiber Kecerdasan Buatan v022.pdf
TataKelola dan KamSiber Kecerdasan Buatan v022.pdfTataKelola dan KamSiber Kecerdasan Buatan v022.pdf
TataKelola dan KamSiber Kecerdasan Buatan v022.pdf
 
18-04-UA_REPORT_MEDIALITERAСY_INDEX-DM_23-1-final-eng.pdf
18-04-UA_REPORT_MEDIALITERAСY_INDEX-DM_23-1-final-eng.pdf18-04-UA_REPORT_MEDIALITERAСY_INDEX-DM_23-1-final-eng.pdf
18-04-UA_REPORT_MEDIALITERAСY_INDEX-DM_23-1-final-eng.pdf
 
Activity 01 - Artificial Culture (1).pdf
Activity 01 - Artificial Culture (1).pdfActivity 01 - Artificial Culture (1).pdf
Activity 01 - Artificial Culture (1).pdf
 
POINT- BIOCHEMISTRY SEM 2 ENZYMES UNIT 5.pptx
POINT- BIOCHEMISTRY SEM 2 ENZYMES UNIT 5.pptxPOINT- BIOCHEMISTRY SEM 2 ENZYMES UNIT 5.pptx
POINT- BIOCHEMISTRY SEM 2 ENZYMES UNIT 5.pptx
 
Employee wellbeing at the workplace.pptx
Employee wellbeing at the workplace.pptxEmployee wellbeing at the workplace.pptx
Employee wellbeing at the workplace.pptx
 
The Most Excellent Way | 1 Corinthians 13
The Most Excellent Way | 1 Corinthians 13The Most Excellent Way | 1 Corinthians 13
The Most Excellent Way | 1 Corinthians 13
 
Hybridoma Technology ( Production , Purification , and Application )
Hybridoma Technology  ( Production , Purification , and Application  ) Hybridoma Technology  ( Production , Purification , and Application  )
Hybridoma Technology ( Production , Purification , and Application )
 
Privatization and Disinvestment - Meaning, Objectives, Advantages and Disadva...
Privatization and Disinvestment - Meaning, Objectives, Advantages and Disadva...Privatization and Disinvestment - Meaning, Objectives, Advantages and Disadva...
Privatization and Disinvestment - Meaning, Objectives, Advantages and Disadva...
 
Grant Readiness 101 TechSoup and Remy Consulting
Grant Readiness 101 TechSoup and Remy ConsultingGrant Readiness 101 TechSoup and Remy Consulting
Grant Readiness 101 TechSoup and Remy Consulting
 
microwave assisted reaction. General introduction
microwave assisted reaction. General introductionmicrowave assisted reaction. General introduction
microwave assisted reaction. General introduction
 
Mattingly "AI & Prompt Design: Structured Data, Assistants, & RAG"
Mattingly "AI & Prompt Design: Structured Data, Assistants, & RAG"Mattingly "AI & Prompt Design: Structured Data, Assistants, & RAG"
Mattingly "AI & Prompt Design: Structured Data, Assistants, & RAG"
 
URLs and Routing in the Odoo 17 Website App
URLs and Routing in the Odoo 17 Website AppURLs and Routing in the Odoo 17 Website App
URLs and Routing in the Odoo 17 Website App
 
Separation of Lanthanides/ Lanthanides and Actinides
Separation of Lanthanides/ Lanthanides and ActinidesSeparation of Lanthanides/ Lanthanides and Actinides
Separation of Lanthanides/ Lanthanides and Actinides
 
Student login on Anyboli platform.helpin
Student login on Anyboli platform.helpinStudent login on Anyboli platform.helpin
Student login on Anyboli platform.helpin
 
Organic Name Reactions for the students and aspirants of Chemistry12th.pptx
Organic Name Reactions  for the students and aspirants of Chemistry12th.pptxOrganic Name Reactions  for the students and aspirants of Chemistry12th.pptx
Organic Name Reactions for the students and aspirants of Chemistry12th.pptx
 
Mastering the Unannounced Regulatory Inspection
Mastering the Unannounced Regulatory InspectionMastering the Unannounced Regulatory Inspection
Mastering the Unannounced Regulatory Inspection
 

Joel Young - QB2011 - Listening and Boundaries

  • 1.
  • 2. “When people think you're dying, they really, really listen to you, instead of just.. ...instead of just waiting for their turn to speak?” – Fight Club ”
  • 3.
  • 4.
  • 6.
  • 7.
  • 8. Don’t ASS YOU ME • What’s that like for YOU? • What might YOU need? Stay CURIOUS! • You never really know them. • They feel different from you. • They think different from you. • They need different solutions from you.
  • 9.
  • 10. AREAS OF RESPONSIBILITY BOUNDARIES – What is mine? What is yours?
  • 11. What happens if you take responsibility for that which you have no control over? AREAS OF RESPONSIBILITY
  • 12.
  • 13. My boundaries are healthy and include only my own feelings, thinking, action s.My boundaries include their feelings, thinking, actions. I’m in your space, but I don’t know it and I think you want it or need it.

Editor's Notes

  1. Who am I?Counselling – working with young people and adults as a volunteer and a professional for 17 years.Also, partly trained in electronic engineering, surfing and computer games.What do I want to give them?Refine the most important tool in your tool box. – 1 year of my degree was focussed on this.Refine your boundaries.
  2. ONE YEAR of my degree – the first year.People need to FEEL listened to because?-Know you care before they care what you know.-Some pain needs and audience before it can resolve.-Takes the punch out of pain so that the real issue can be addressed.You need to listen – so that you know what’s going on, so you can ask the right question or offer the right advice.How good are you guys are listening? 1-10People suck at it in general. Pastors included.Listening draws people out of their shame.
  3. We see the would through our beliefs – how do you beliefs colour the world?
  4. We have blind spots – we don’t even see it but we ASSUME that we do.What is the assumption?“People are like me.”
  5. “People feel like I would feel.”
  6. “People feel like I would feel.”
  7. Boundaries – What is mine and what is yours.
  8. Boundaries – what’s yours and what’s mine. (HEART/HEAD)Why?Stay safe from:BurnoutDepressionEquipped to see when others have unhealthy boundaries.Symptoms:Anger, Burnout, resentment, caring lying.