Joel Young - QB2011 - Listening and Boundaries

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Insight into the complexity of truly hearing or listening to another.

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  • Who am I?Counselling – working with young people and adults as a volunteer and a professional for 17 years.Also, partly trained in electronic engineering, surfing and computer games.What do I want to give them?Refine the most important tool in your tool box. – 1 year of my degree was focussed on this.Refine your boundaries.
  • ONE YEAR of my degree – the first year.People need to FEEL listened to because?-Know you care before they care what you know.-Some pain needs and audience before it can resolve.-Takes the punch out of pain so that the real issue can be addressed.You need to listen – so that you know what’s going on, so you can ask the right question or offer the right advice.How good are you guys are listening? 1-10People suck at it in general. Pastors included.Listening draws people out of their shame.
  • We see the would through our beliefs – how do you beliefs colour the world?
  • We have blind spots – we don’t even see it but we ASSUME that we do.What is the assumption?“People are like me.”
  • “People feel like I would feel.”
  • “People feel like I would feel.”
  • Boundaries – What is mine and what is yours.
  • Boundaries – what’s yours and what’s mine. (HEART/HEAD)Why?Stay safe from:BurnoutDepressionEquipped to see when others have unhealthy boundaries.Symptoms:Anger, Burnout, resentment, caring lying.
  • Joel Young - QB2011 - Listening and Boundaries

    1. 1. “When people think youredying, they really, really listen toyou, instead of just.....instead of just waiting for theirturn to speak?” – Fight Club ”
    2. 2. ASSUME
    3. 3. Don’t ASS YOU ME• What’s that like for YOU?• What might YOU need?Stay CURIOUS!• You never really know them.• They feel different from you.• They think different from you.• They need different solutions from you.
    4. 4. AREAS OFRESPONSIBILITYBOUNDARIES – What is mine? What is yours?
    5. 5. What happens if you take responsibility forthat which you have no control over?AREAS OFRESPONSIBILITY
    6. 6. My boundaries arehealthy and include onlymy ownfeelings, thinking, actions.My boundaries include theirfeelings, thinking, actions.I’m in your space, but I don’t know itand I think you want it or need it.

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