Joel Young - QB2011 - Listening and Boundaries
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Insight into the complexity of truly hearing or listening to another.
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Joel Young - QB2011 - Listening and Boundaries
- 2. “When people think you're dying, they really, really listen to you, instead of just.. ...instead of just waiting for their turn to speak?” – Fight Club ”
- 5. AS S UME
- 8. Don’t ASS YOU ME • What’s that like for YOU? • What might YOU need? Stay CURIOUS! • You never really know them. • They feel different from you. • They think different from you. • They need different solutions from you.
- 10. AREAS OF RESPONSIBILITY BOUNDARIES – What is mine? What is yours?
- 11. What happens if you take responsibility for that which you have no control over? AREAS OF RESPONSIBILITY
- 13. My boundaries are healthy and include only my own feelings, thinking, action s.My boundaries include their feelings, thinking, actions. I’m in your space, but I don’t know it and I think you want it or need it.
Editor's Notes
- Who am I?Counselling – working with young people and adults as a volunteer and a professional for 17 years.Also, partly trained in electronic engineering, surfing and computer games.What do I want to give them?Refine the most important tool in your tool box. – 1 year of my degree was focussed on this.Refine your boundaries.
- ONE YEAR of my degree – the first year.People need to FEEL listened to because?-Know you care before they care what you know.-Some pain needs and audience before it can resolve.-Takes the punch out of pain so that the real issue can be addressed.You need to listen – so that you know what’s going on, so you can ask the right question or offer the right advice.How good are you guys are listening? 1-10People suck at it in general. Pastors included.Listening draws people out of their shame.
- We see the would through our beliefs – how do you beliefs colour the world?
- We have blind spots – we don’t even see it but we ASSUME that we do.What is the assumption?“People are like me.”
- “People feel like I would feel.”
- “People feel like I would feel.”
- Boundaries – What is mine and what is yours.
- Boundaries – what’s yours and what’s mine. (HEART/HEAD)Why?Stay safe from:BurnoutDepressionEquipped to see when others have unhealthy boundaries.Symptoms:Anger, Burnout, resentment, caring lying.