Who am I?Counselling – working with young people and adults as a volunteer and a professional for 17 years.Also, partly trained in electronic engineering, surfing and computer games.What do I want to give them?ToolsPeaceOpportunity to engage = changeWe counsel out of who we are.
What is one thing you have successfully changed in your life? Tell the person next to you how you did it.Transformation / Repent (lasting change).Hard/Easy/Counselling/Deliverence/Alter Call.
Applies to people here.Distance between our head and our heart, but they are connected. Can be in contradiction, but God desires both to be in line with his truth.Notice that lies breed lies. They make you feel stink and the cause self fulfilling prophecies – ie they appear to be true. (evidence – what am I don’t this weekend? Nothing. See, I don’t belong)
Here is an example of the fruit of a lie that has taken root in a heart. A huge amount of our pain in life is caused by not what happens, but how we think about it.I believe I don’t fit in, so I don’t try, so I prove to myself that I don’t’ belong. V’s eg me and band, I fit in, just need to find a place for myself.
Therefor, spiritual warfare is done not just by praying but also by reasonable persuasion to the Truth. WDJD?How would you fight lies?
What his UBF?We react the same way with our’s.What’s his survival stratagy.Is the person going to harm him?
Eg – Me Summer and being exhausted. Studied for years, had a course tutor that didn’t like me, ended up failing, changed towns, to finish study.Been tired for a few years. Possibly burn out. Low mood. Quite depressed at times. Unable to concentrate and life up to potential.Moderate anxiety when doing new things. Not sleeping well.Not anyone would be tired in this situation.My fears are what caused 90% of the energy drain.Fear of feeling inadequate.Fear of wasting time.Fear of feeling powerless.e.g. Disappointment“No” offered without any options invokes a sense of powerlessness and despair and a wave of either rage or depression follows. Can be mistaken for ADHD.Stubbornness, Demanding rather than negotiating/asking, rebellion, control, manipulation, apathy, and violence, can result.David Riddell – LW Schools – I run them in Auckland, Dave has one starting next month on Hamilton.Unbearable Means?
UBF’s make us self sabotaging.
Disappointed – Use Graph of Expectations‘No’, doesn’t mean never!Are my expectations realistic?What would be a more realistic way to think?It’s ok to feel disappointed sometimes – it’s not the end of the world.What’s another way of thinking about this?No doesn’t mean never.Getting angry won’t get me what I want. What will give us a win win?I don’t always have to get what I want.Can I ask for this in a different way or just need to let go this time?There is probably some other good options – what are they?Disrespected/Shamed Out – (Crap in a parcel)No shame taken no shame given.If somebody gives you something and you don’t accept it…who’s is it?I know who I am so I don’t need to over react here.I know who I am so it doesn’t matter what you think.I am ok, this is their problem.I don’t need to take this personally.Don’t dignify their silliness with a response. Unheard/Misunderstood/Misjudged – ask the same questions LOUDER!Just because they are not listening to me it doesn’t mean they don’t care.Feeling unheard is different from being unloved.Can I put this another way (to help them hear me?)People won’t always ‘get me’ and that’s ok.People will misjudge me and that’s ok – because I know who I am.I can’t control other peoples thoughts about me – just my own.I need to use more words, not more volume.I have had time to think about this – maybe they need some time too.Communicating is difficult – I need to be patient.They are from a different culture, I need to speak their language to be understood.
AFTER, you have the truth (thinking focus) to coach you through it, you need to start acting (behavioural) your way into a new way of being. Without doing this intentionally you probably won’t actually become free or change.e.g. DisappointmentWhen you are presented with a disappointing scenario – don’t argue, just run with it and feel the disappointment, redefine it as uncomfortable, but bearable.Think of the type of disappointment that particularly gets on your nerves then do the opposite of what you would usually do and feel the disappointment, redefine it as uncomfortable, but bearable.If a friend or spouse wants to do/buy something different from what you want, just go with what they want and feel the disappointment, redefine it as uncomfortable, but bearable.It’s not about avoiding feelings, it’s about feeling them, and seeing them for what they are. Sore. Hurtful. Uncomfortable. But NOT unbearable.
Joel Young - BYM - UBF's
Truth, Lies & UBF’sRomans 12Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of Godsmercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy andpleasing to God—this is your spiritual[a] act ofworship. 2Do not conform any longer to the pattern of thisworld, but be transformed (from what - to what?) bythe renewing of your mind.Then you will be able to test and approve what Godswill is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
ACTIONS / FRUIT^FEELINGS^THINKING^LIFE RULES^CORE BELIEFS^NEEDSLuke: For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.Isaiah: These people come near to me with their mouth and honour me with their lips, buttheir hearts are far from me.
ACTIONS^FEELINGS^THINKING^LIFE RULES^CORE BELIEFS^NEEDSAre my core beliefs TRUE or FALSE?Don’t invite myself to events. Keepto myself. Don’t include myself inconversations. Don’t ask for help.Alone, shy, insecure.“They don’t like me.”“They didn’t invite me becausethey don’t like me.”“I don’t fit in.”There is no point trying to fit in.I only go when invited.When I am not invited it means Idon’t belong.I don’t belong. (KING LIE/Mis-belief)Invite myself out when I want. Includemyself in conversations.Ask for, and offer help.Warm, Satisfied, Relaxed“I wonder if there is any chocolate in thefridge.”“How can I contribute here.”“I’ll ask them if I can join in and givethem my number.”I fit in here if they like me or not.This place is mine as much anyones.I can play a part in friendships & ministry.People need me and most probably likeme.I am a unique part of the puzzle.I belong.I am part of the family.
LiesLies are from the Enemy(‘the father of lies’ -John)Lies are the devils native language (John)Lies block you from hearing God (John)Lies are evilLies destroyLies provide a foothold for the devilLies are the real enemy/root of the problemMaintains Delusion = Pain when reality bites.How does this affect your thoughts on spiritual warfare?TruthTruth is from God(Jesus is the Son of God)(‘I am the way, the truth…’)Truth is all Jesus speaks. (‘I tell you the truth’)Truth is from the Spirit of TruthBelief in Truth Sanctifies (John 17:17+2 Thes)Truth Protects (Psalms+)(Eph 6)Truth sets us free (John)Truth guides us (Prov)Keeps us in Reality – Greater Stability
Truth requires context.Without context scripturecan become a lie thatbinds you.Lie that looks like truthTruthTruthTruth
3.5 UBFs – Bruises of the HeartWhat feeling makes methrow all my toys out ofthe cot (act like a child)?What are my buttons?What feeling will I doanything to avoid?What feeling did I vow tonever feel again?People can manipulate meby ‘making me feel’…