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Return on Relationship It's not what  I'm  doing, it's what  you  think I'm doing.
Relationship Management <ul><li>The single most important measure of business success in the 21 st  Century </li></ul><ul>...
Relationship Management <ul><li>The simple steps for managing perceived reality </li></ul><ul><li>It starts – and ends – w...
First Things First  <ul><li>The single most important ingredient in relationship influence is: </li></ul><ul><li>ATTITUDE ...
Attitude Evaluation <ul><li>1.  The Reality Check </li></ul><ul><li>Am I getting the responses I really want? </li></ul>
Attitude Evaluation <ul><li>2.  Responsibility Check </li></ul><ul><li>What attitude signals am I sending out? </li></ul>
Attitude Evaluation <ul><li>3.  Adjustment Check </li></ul><ul><li>What can  I  do to reset the relationship temperature? ...
 
Relationship Temperature <ul><li>Thermometer:  Measuring  Perceived   Reality </li></ul><ul><li>Thermostat: Adjusting  Per...
7 Relationship Temperature Controls <ul><li>Response to Criticism </li></ul>
Response to Criticism <ul><li>How much of your personal self-worth is subject to the input of others? </li></ul><ul><li>Ho...
7 Relationship Temperature Controls <ul><li>Response to Criticism </li></ul><ul><li>Empowering Others </li></ul>
Empowering Others <ul><li>Empowering means transferring what I do and what I know to someone else </li></ul><ul><li>Compli...
7 Relationship Temperature Controls <ul><li>Response to Criticism </li></ul><ul><li>Empowering Others </li></ul><ul><li>Au...
Authority vs. Control <ul><li>Authority – what is  given  to me by another </li></ul><ul><li>De jure  or  de facto </li></...
7 Relationship Temperature Controls <ul><li>Response to Criticism </li></ul><ul><li>Empowering Others </li></ul><ul><li>Au...
Emotional Discipline <ul><li>Reaction vs. Response </li></ul><ul><li>An attitude of  identification </li></ul><ul><li>Do I...
7 Relationship Temperature Controls <ul><li>Response to Criticism </li></ul><ul><li>Empowering Others </li></ul><ul><li>Au...
Handling Fears <ul><li>The biggest roadblock to successful relationships </li></ul><ul><li>Fear is a  one-way  mirror </li...
7 Relationship Temperature Controls <ul><li>Response to Criticism </li></ul><ul><li>Empowering Others </li></ul><ul><li>Au...
Demonstrating Compassion <ul><li>Not sympathy, not empathy, not proxy delegation </li></ul><ul><li>Greek  – gut reaction <...
7 Relationship Temperature Controls <ul><li>Response to Criticism </li></ul><ul><li>Empowering Others </li></ul><ul><li>Au...
Exhibiting Humility <ul><li>The Level 5 Leader </li></ul><ul><li>Not a state of being (character) </li></ul><ul><li>Hebrew...
What does Upside Down Leadership look like? <ul><li>I decide </li></ul><ul><li>To make You </li></ul><ul><li>My friend </l...
FRIENDSHIP THE 1% SOLUTION How can I make a 1% difference  TODAY ? St. Francis of Assisi:  “Preach the gospel at  all time...
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Seta 3 Perceived Reality

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Transcript of "Seta 3 Perceived Reality"

  1. 1. Return on Relationship It's not what I'm doing, it's what you think I'm doing.
  2. 2. Relationship Management <ul><li>The single most important measure of business success in the 21 st Century </li></ul><ul><li>Every circle of influence requires relationship management </li></ul><ul><li>Perceived reality is reality </li></ul><ul><li>I have to know what you think before I can know what I need to do </li></ul>
  3. 3. Relationship Management <ul><li>The simple steps for managing perceived reality </li></ul><ul><li>It starts – and ends – with me </li></ul>
  4. 4. First Things First <ul><li>The single most important ingredient in relationship influence is: </li></ul><ul><li>ATTITUDE </li></ul>
  5. 5. Attitude Evaluation <ul><li>1. The Reality Check </li></ul><ul><li>Am I getting the responses I really want? </li></ul>
  6. 6. Attitude Evaluation <ul><li>2. Responsibility Check </li></ul><ul><li>What attitude signals am I sending out? </li></ul>
  7. 7. Attitude Evaluation <ul><li>3. Adjustment Check </li></ul><ul><li>What can I do to reset the relationship temperature? </li></ul>
  8. 9. Relationship Temperature <ul><li>Thermometer: Measuring Perceived Reality </li></ul><ul><li>Thermostat: Adjusting Perceived Reality </li></ul><ul><li>Standard Temperature and Pressure: Set by the vertical relationship – the BIGGER values of my life </li></ul>
  9. 10. 7 Relationship Temperature Controls <ul><li>Response to Criticism </li></ul>
  10. 11. Response to Criticism <ul><li>How much of your personal self-worth is subject to the input of others? </li></ul><ul><li>How well do you “measure up”? </li></ul><ul><li>Have you established a baseline that depends only on your vertical relationship? </li></ul><ul><li>Do you have your values in place? </li></ul><ul><li>Do you encourage feedback from all? </li></ul>
  11. 12. 7 Relationship Temperature Controls <ul><li>Response to Criticism </li></ul><ul><li>Empowering Others </li></ul>
  12. 13. Empowering Others <ul><li>Empowering means transferring what I do and what I know to someone else </li></ul><ul><li>Compliance is not empowering </li></ul><ul><li>Have I made a tangible commitment to show someone else how to do what I do? </li></ul><ul><li>Who is my apprentice? </li></ul><ul><li>“I call you friends” </li></ul>
  13. 14. 7 Relationship Temperature Controls <ul><li>Response to Criticism </li></ul><ul><li>Empowering Others </li></ul><ul><li>Authority vs. Control </li></ul>
  14. 15. Authority vs. Control <ul><li>Authority – what is given to me by another </li></ul><ul><li>De jure or de facto </li></ul><ul><li>The essence of influence is invitation </li></ul><ul><li>Every follower is be a volunteer </li></ul><ul><li>“Come after me” </li></ul>
  15. 16. 7 Relationship Temperature Controls <ul><li>Response to Criticism </li></ul><ul><li>Empowering Others </li></ul><ul><li>Authority vs. Control </li></ul><ul><li>Emotional Discipline </li></ul>
  16. 17. Emotional Discipline <ul><li>Reaction vs. Response </li></ul><ul><li>An attitude of identification </li></ul><ul><li>Do I first ask “How do they feel?” </li></ul><ul><li>The Fearless Moral Inventory </li></ul><ul><li>“counting the cost” </li></ul>
  17. 18. 7 Relationship Temperature Controls <ul><li>Response to Criticism </li></ul><ul><li>Empowering Others </li></ul><ul><li>Authority vs. Control </li></ul><ul><li>Emotional Discipline </li></ul><ul><li>Handling Fears </li></ul>
  18. 19. Handling Fears <ul><li>The biggest roadblock to successful relationships </li></ul><ul><li>Fear is a one-way mirror </li></ul><ul><li>Fear-based relationships avoid truth and hide feelings </li></ul><ul><li>If you really knew me, you wouldn’t love me </li></ul><ul><li>“Do you love me?” </li></ul>
  19. 20. 7 Relationship Temperature Controls <ul><li>Response to Criticism </li></ul><ul><li>Empowering Others </li></ul><ul><li>Authority vs. Control </li></ul><ul><li>Emotional Discipline </li></ul><ul><li>Handling Fears </li></ul><ul><li>Demonstrating Compassion </li></ul>
  20. 21. Demonstrating Compassion <ul><li>Not sympathy, not empathy, not proxy delegation </li></ul><ul><li>Greek – gut reaction </li></ul><ul><li>Why I must act! </li></ul><ul><li>How am I demonstrating the heart of compassion? </li></ul><ul><li>“Jesus wept.” </li></ul>
  21. 22. 7 Relationship Temperature Controls <ul><li>Response to Criticism </li></ul><ul><li>Empowering Others </li></ul><ul><li>Authority vs. Control </li></ul><ul><li>Emotional Discipline </li></ul><ul><li>Handling Fears </li></ul><ul><li>Demonstrating Compassion </li></ul><ul><li>Exhibiting Humility </li></ul>
  22. 23. Exhibiting Humility <ul><li>The Level 5 Leader </li></ul><ul><li>Not a state of being (character) </li></ul><ul><li>Hebrew – ana = act of the will (decision) </li></ul><ul><li>Putting the highest value into action </li></ul><ul><li>The serving leader </li></ul>
  23. 24. What does Upside Down Leadership look like? <ul><li>I decide </li></ul><ul><li>To make You </li></ul><ul><li>My friend </li></ul><ul><li>Regardless of your response </li></ul><ul><li>Friendship: It’s my call! </li></ul>
  24. 25. FRIENDSHIP THE 1% SOLUTION How can I make a 1% difference TODAY ? St. Francis of Assisi: “Preach the gospel at all times and when necessary use words”
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