happy birthday

1. it’s that time of the year
again. i get to go “no-holds-
bar-creepy”. and you get to
celebrate Kanye west’s
birthday. Just kidding.
Obviously I meant Frank Loyd
wright’s birthday. i don’t
really care much for either
one of them but since you have
this completely unreasonable
enthusiasm to make their
birthdays a big deal every
year I came up with reasons
why I would ever want to
celebrate the 8th of June. So
here are the top 9 reasons and

2. 1) Thank God I hate
Taylor Swift!
V
S
If it weren’t for these two narcissists, these two
narcissists, wouldn’t be friends.
The place where
we first met.
4th floor lecture
room. isn’t that a
pleasant place.
Dobby: Hi! I am Kiran Kumar
Ghosh from Kolkata!
Smeagol: Shivani. Shivani
Raina.
Creep
GOD! Those birds are the most irritating
piece of “art” in the entire college
RELEVANCE: Kanye’s
Birthday is today

3. 2) Sméagol and Dobby are butt ugly
I know it sounds offending but wait, I have a point. Both of
these characters are physically grotesque to say the
least but they manage to overcome all of their
disabilities and leave their mark and still manage to be
retarded . They remind me of us. I would not have believed
RELEVANCE: Dobby died
on the 8th ofJjune
Dobby: I think
I live in a
paranoid
delusion.
Sméagol: No
way! Me too!

4. 3)Juice of the
matter!
Well the juice of the
matter is that we are
quite similar.
it’s the perfect recipe
for a great friendship.
Weird meets weird
The book we both
love
PLUM JUICE
Our favourite building
element: The sacred
pergola
Apart from things
we both liked,
there are things
that I now like
because of you or
just because it’s a
part of an
extremely
important memory
I hate ridged
chips now.
Who has a
favourite door?
We do. Thank you
BC.
RELEVANCE: There are 8
seeds in this piece. You can’t
see it though.

5. 4) Not exactly 8. But 7 is close enou
Hope I don’t have to explain
this one. The crazy ole
dreams.
In my head 7
looked like this.
And remember
1984 or was it
1987. Our
imaginary friend
who killed his
own parents. And
something to do
with meat. In my
head he looked
like this fat kid.
And our crazy impulse of sitting on
the footpath in the middle of the
day. Can’t imagine doing that with
anyone else.
RELEVANCE:
7 is close
enough to 8

6. 5) Stars on your sweater
Stars on my sweater make
me feel nice!
Stars on my sweater make
me warm inside!
Tujhe yaad na
meri aayi, kisi
se ab kya
kehna!
The stupid pointless
dares. And the stupid
pointless mujras.
We are crazy enough to
see stars in the middle of
the day. Thank god we
both are equally crazy.
The feeder panel we
tried to switch off.
Well, now we know it
was a feeder panel
and what it does.
That’s the song
translated in
Espanol! Fancay!
RELEVANCE: Your sweater had
8 stars on the sleeves. No
need to check. Just trust me.
Nobody likes well endowed
behinds like we both do.

7. 6) We troll the
world!
X Y
X>Y?
We make a great team. We don’t object to
each other’s “airness” and we have lots of
fun!
Hope you always keep me in your
team because you will always be
my “idli” in a world full of “dosas”.
The fajjas are us!
Coming up
with our
dream hotel
Majnu ka Tilla!
RELEVANCE:8 is the exact
number of “elderlies” in the
movie MAMMA MIA.

8. 7) Absolution and
Resurrection
I cannot imagine the number
of fights and conflicts of
interest that we have
overcome. We fight. We
forgive. We forget. Thank you
for overlooking all of my
faults.
RELEVANCE: We have
resurrected our friendship 8
times till date.
The god-forsaken screw driver.
Conflict of opinions. Britanica vs. Wikipedia

9. 8) Caste system
One of the advantages of the caste system
was the well organized and easy to
administrate division of occupation.
That’s what we have setup. We serve
essential functions in each other’s life. You
are irreplaceable.
I come to you in distress even when you are
my distress. That kind of comfort is
unimaginable. Thank you again.
We have the greatest epiphanies
in each other’s company
RELEVANCE: 8 is the number
of dUCKS I give to Taut’s work.

10. 9) Happy Birthday!
Yes. I remember. You must have
had the shock of your life right
now. Calm down. Hope you have
the greatest year ahead of you. SO
I will predict that this is probably
going to be your worst year yet.
Get it! Get it!
Orange juice and Aloo
Funnily enough they are playing
“Hey Baby! Drop it to the floor”
right now next to my house.
Damn you coincidence.
Wait one more thing.
RELEVANCE: The obvious.

11. Hope I didn’t completely bore you.
Here is the oldest conversation of ours I could retrieve.
Shivani Raina:Kidon.
Kiran K Ghosh:ey shivani
tu lagti hai nani
tu item....oh to hell with it
ssup?
Shivani Raina:How clever you
are, good sir.
You can do better than that:P
How about, what keeps your oxen
humping?
Kiran K Ghosh:
not even going to try and guess
change your dp
Shivani Raina:
No, read my caption.
Kiran K Ghosh:
what caption?
Shivani Raina:
My DP's caption.
It makes me feel oh-so-witty and
awesome.
Kiran K Ghosh:*in a generic tone
Oh So witty
Shivani Raina:
Oh shut up. I love myself. :')
All I really need
Is another me
And that rhymed
...another me is...what...I
need...to...find
Oh god.
That was bad.
Kiran K Ghosh:
The poor world is going to be
deprived of your love forever
Shivani Raina:
Haha
I am all mine! my precioussss!
*smeagol voice
Kiran K Ghosh:
Another Shivani "I Love Grammar"
Raina cannot exist
Shivani Raina
Yep, balance must remain. That'd
just be too much cool for the world
to handle.
10:45pm
Kiran K Ghosh
we are suicidal because we have had enough of the
world
dont you think he has had enough of it
like our cubes
suposng hypotheticaly
god created the world
like we designed the cube
but then he had to draft it and take care of it and repair
it
and kkep it safe
i lost mine
10:47pm
Shivani Raina
(haha)
I make the equation much simpler by writing off the
existence of any such apathetic deity.
The world's random.

12. • Shivani Raina: Mhm m. What did you think of it? You know, my first impression of
your taste in movies was that you liked stuff like Rab Ne Banadi Jodi.
• I thought you were into mainstream shit. That feels so long ago though. My first
day, I mean
• Kiran K Ghosh:ya,i thought you were pretentous
• and all highschool cheerleader shit
• struts in is reserved i dont talk to losers....with a capital L
• that changed by lunch time that was like 3 hours thats good right?
• Shivani Raina: it is. *phew How did it change?
• Kiran K Ghosh: i think when you started talking about how awkward you felt in the
place and how bad the place was pessimism attracts me
• Shivani Raina: What do you think of me now? Analyse me.
• Kiran K Ghosh”:mental crazy judicious reserved volatile self sufficient warm honest
wise psychotic killer
• Shivani Raina: Wise? Seriously. I can imagine my brother mocking that HahahahaI
love people, I hate humanity.
Have a great birthday Shivani! Next year I will be
there with you.