MIPA 2010 - Start with the Horse

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MIPA 2010 - Start with the Horse

  1. 1. Start with the Horse Andrew Taylor North Pointe, Grosse Pointe North H.S.
  2. 2. • Begin sentences with subjects and verbs • Make meaning early, then let weaker elements branch to the right.
  3. 3. Rebels seized control of Cap Haitien, Haiti’s second largest city, on Sunday, meeting little resistance as hundreds of residents cheered, burned the police station, plundered food from port warehouses and looted the airport, which was quickly closed. Police officers and armed supporters of President Jean-Bertrand Aristide fled. New York Times
  4. 4. Rebels seized control of Cap Haitien, Haiti’s second largest city, on Sunday, meeting little resistance as hundreds of residents cheered, burned the police station, plundered food from port warehouses and looted the airport, which was quickly closed. Police officers and armed supporters of President Jean-Bertrand Aristide fled. New York Times
  5. 5. Let the person (or the horse) bring the story to life.
  6. 6. He didn’t need a clock. He had been working in a tidal pattern so long that he could feel a tide change in his sleep. In the dawn he awakened, looked out through the windshield and saw that the water was already retreating down the bouldery flat. He drank some hot coffee, ate three sandwiches, and had a quart of beer. by John Steinbeck from Cannery Row
  7. 7. He didn’t need a clock. He had been working in a tidal pattern so long that he could feel a tide change in his sleep. In the dawn he awakened, looked out through the windshield and saw that the water was already retreating down the bouldery flat. He drank some hot coffee, ate three sandwiches, and had a quart of beer. by John Steinbeck from Cannery Row
  8. 8. The tide goes out imperceptibly. The boulders show and seem to rise up and the ocean recedes leaving little pools, leaving wet weed and moss and sponge, iridescence and brown and blue and China red. On the bottoms lie the incredible refuse of the sea, shells broken and chipped and bits of skeleton, claws, the whole sea bottom a fantastic cemetery on which the living scamper and scramble.
  9. 9. Delaying the verb can easily confuse the reader. Do it with care.
  10. 10. The stories about my childhood, the ones that stuck, that got told and retold at dinner tables, to dates as I sat by red- faced, to my own children by my father later on, are stories of running away. Anna Quindlen’s memoir How Reading Changed My Life
  11. 11. A bill that would exclude tax income from the assessed value of new homes from the state education funding formula could mean a loss of revenue for Chesapeake County schools.
  12. 12. A bill could mean a loss of revenue for Chesapeake County schools. The State House will vote this week on a that would exclude tax income from the assessed value of new homes from the state education funding formula
  13. 13. • You can hold both the subject and the verb to build suspense.
  14. 14. Before the prayer warriors massed outside her window, before gavels pounded in six courts, before the Vatican issued a statement, before the president signed a midnight law and the Supreme Court turned its head, Terri Schiavo was just an ordinary girl, with two overweight cats, an unglamorous job and a typical American life.
  15. 15. The next time you struggle with a sentence, rewrite it by placing subject and verb at the beginning. For dramatic variation, write a sentence with subject and verb near the end.
  16. 16. The New England Journal of Medicine released a study today. The study says people who abruptly quit drinking coffee may suffer effects of caffeine withdrawal. Some of the symptoms include headaches, depression, anxiety and fatigue. The study says that even people who drink fewer than three cups of coffee a day may be affected.
  17. 17. A new law went into effect yesterday in Maine. The law affects all businesses that have more than 25 employees. The law requires employers to hire one physically challenged worker for every 25 employees. Under the law, employers must post advertisements seeking individuals with physical challenges as denied under the Americans with Disabilities Act.
  18. 18. A guest speaker was scheduled to speak at North. The speaker has written that those attacked in the World Trade Center on Sept. 11, 2001, were justified in their actions because of previous U.S. abuses. Parents have asked that the speech be canceled.
  19. 19. Police suspected two students of drug dealing. Police witnessed the students exchanging money and what appeared to be marijuana. But after they arrested the students, police couldn’t find the drugs. Police called in their drug-sniffing dog. The dog headed directly to one of the students’ locker. Inside was a pound of marijuana. The two students were charged with a felony.
  20. 20. Ledes
  21. 21. “The best day is one when I can write a lead that will cause the reader at his breakfast table the next morning to spit up his coffee, clutch at his heart and shout, ‘My God! Martha, did you read this?’” Edna Buchanan, The Miami Herald
  22. 22. General Tips • Keep it short: 35 words or less • Men have landed and walked on the moon. • Points of emphasis: Place the key words at the beginning and the end. – Start with the horse – Woman in shoe
  23. 23. General Tips • Write a focus sentence at the top of your story. • Avoid suffering: Start with your nut graph and write the lead later. • Don’t invent your lead. Back it up with your notes.
  24. 24. The Nut Graph • A focus statement, a thesis, a summary – but not necessarily that interesting by itself • The second or third paragraph in a story with a strong, dramatic lead
  25. 25. “Think. Don’t write yet. Just think. Think about what you want to say and how best to say it: clearly, concisely, conversationally. … Start strong. Well begun is half done. Mervin Block, Writing Broadcast News
  26. 26. HARD NEWS LEADS: Also called summary leads, tells who, what, when and why
  27. 27. Hard news • A student at Lamphere High School in Madison Heights has tested positive for a staph infection, according to a letter parents received today.
  28. 28. SOFT LEADS: Also called feature leads, delays the news for something colorful
  29. 29. Soft news lead • At 6-feet-9, Norm Allgood was the tallest of the 16,000-plus participants who turned up Sunday for the 30th running of the Detroit Free Press/Flagstar Marathon.
  30. 30. Soft news lead • So when he was asked why he chose this event for his first race, it was a bit disconcerting to see this giant of a man double over to hide his face as he tried to choke back tears.
  31. 31. DON’T CLUTTER YOUR LEAD: Especially with attribution
  32. 32. Karen Davisson, child protection worker with the Michigan Department of Social Rehabilitation Services district office in Warren, said Tuesday that only rarely are neglected an abused children removed from their parents’ care and placed in foster homes or put up for adoption.
  33. 33. Neglected or abused children are rarely removed from their parents’ care and placed in foster homes or put up for adoption, a state social worker said Tuesday. Karen Davisson is a child protection worker with the Michigan Department of Social Rehabilitation Services district office in Warren. Nut graph
  34. 34. SOME TYPES OF SOFT LEADS
  35. 35. Descriptive: Focus on one person “Skippack farmer John W. Hasson stood ankle-deep in mud, pumping milk into a wooden trough as his pigs, squealing and grunting, snouts quivering, climbed over each other to get to their feed.”
  36. 36. Anecdotal: Like fiction writing “When the shock wave from a magnitude 4.7 earthquake rolled through Anchorage Wednesday morning, dentist Kendal Skinner had just inserted a 3-inch needle into the mouth of a patient and begun an injection.”
  37. 37. Narrative: Feels like you are there Police Officer Juan Cabrera felt the barrel of the gun press against his head. “I’m going to kill you,” a voice from behind said.
  38. 38. The award for Lamest Lede goes to …
  39. 39. The wasted line Here we go again. It happens every time. Color me (blank). Psst.
  40. 40. The Term Paper Throughout history man has struggled with the problem of finding enough food to eat. The latest figures from the Census Bureau show this struggle continues, especially in the nation’s big cities.
  41. 41. Welcome to the world of Dirty plates piled as high as the eye can see. Steam above and fetid water below, for eight, nine, 10 hours at a time. Indecent proposals from male co-workers. Minimum wage and no tips. Welcome to the world of dishwasher Barry Mulso.
  42. 42. Not Alone Kyle Campbell started seeing unfamiliar charges on his Visa card last summer. He started calling around and soon learned he had been a victim of identify theft. Campbell is not alone.
  43. 43. The dictionary definition Webster’s Dictionary defines “hero” as one that shows great courage.” Maria Liddane, who saved a kitten from a tree yesterday, undoubtedly fits that definition. (By the way, there’s no such thing as “Webster’s Dictionary.”)
  44. 44. The cause of the deadly blast at the Falk Corp. remained under investigation late Wednesday, but signs point to an explosion of volatile propane gas. Rick Romell
  45. 45. When ambulances raced past Maynard Street Casting Co. on their way to the accident scene at Falk Corp., it was a chilling sign for Bob Thill, Maynard’s president. Rick Barrett
  46. 46. A spectacular day of racing turned catastrophic when Barbaro, a 3-year-old colt with a seeming clear path to the Triple Crown, broke down in the first furlong of the 131st Preakness Stakes yesterday and was fighting for his life last night. Ken Murray
  47. 47. The first thing Charles Carl Roberts IV did when he walked into the one-room Amish schoolhouse, police said, was to show the children his semiautomatic pistol. Mario F. Cattabiani
  48. 48. She sits at the lunch table, quietly munching her pretzels. Not normal pretzels though. Pretzels without salt on them. “One of my quirks is that I’ve always taken the salt off pretzels before eating it,” says junior Martina Bell. “I’m worried about bloating.”
  49. 49. Bell is not just a regular 16-year-old girl worried about losing weight to fit in a homecoming dress. She is obsessed with losing weight, every day of the year. Bell says she has worried about her appearance since she was eight years old. Kristen Dreisig
  50. 50. Let’s practice
  51. 51. Stu-Co has made an effort his year into improving Homecoming; staying hours after school, holding workdays and even a lock in, preparing. “We are trying to upgrade from last year’s homecoming since many people complained about it not being that great,” said Jasmina Mulaic (11).
  52. 52. Stu-Co has made an effort his year into improving Homecoming; staying hours after school, holding workdays and even a lock in, preparing. “We are trying to upgrade from last year’s homecoming since many people complained about it not being that great,” said Jasmina Mulaic (11).
  53. 53. Like always, LHS will be hosting a spirit week. This year spirit week will be during the week of Oct. 6 through Oct. 10. Pilot, Lindbergh High School, MO
  54. 54. Like always, LHS will be hosting a spirit week. This year spirit week will be during the week of Oct. 6 through Oct. 10. Pilot, Lindbergh High School, MO
  55. 55. Lights dance across the gym floor, songs blare from speakers, and banners scream from every corner of the school reminding students that the annual dance has come again. Homecoming, the first dance of the year, is scheduled for September 27th and is open to all students and will be held withing the school’s two gymnasiums. Outlook, Oakton High School, VA
  56. 56. Lights dance across the gym floor, songs blare from speakers, and banners scream from every corner of the school reminding students that the annual dance has come again. Homecoming, the first dance of the year, is scheduled for September 27th and is open to all students and will be held within the school’s two gymnasiums. Outlook, Oakton High School, VA
  57. 57. A sea of sweating bodies dance closely together as a techno song thumps through East High’s big gym. Neon colors can be seen everywhere without the help of the flashing lights. The darkness of the room is brought to life by the girls’ brightly colored dresses and guys’ matching ties. The décor of the school screams “PARTY!” with glow sticks and neon colors. The atmosphere is electric.
  58. 58. This year the theme for homecoming is East High Remix – student government describes it as “rave-like” “We wanted to do something different and we thought everyone would like it,” said senior and student government president Courtney Morton. The East High Scroll, Des Moines IA
  59. 59. Do freshmen know what’s happening in the main building? Are the upper- classmen aware of what the 9th Grade Academy is? Has this year started off a little bit confusing for some people? The East High Scroll, Des Moines IA
  60. 60. Do freshmen know what’s happening in the main building? Are the upper- classmen aware of what the 9th Grade Academy is? Has this year started off a little bit confusing for some people? The East High Scroll, Des Moines IA
  61. 61. “Hectic” could describe the campus’s atmosphere on the first day of school. Students made a mad dash to pick up their new schedule while the incoming freshmen displayed blank faces, apparently lost, as they struggled to find their new classrooms. Wildcat, Brea Olinda High School, CA
  62. 62. “Hectic” could describe the campus’s atmosphere on the first day of school. Students made a mad dash to pick up their new schedule while the incoming freshmen displayed blank faces, apparently lost, as they struggled to find their new classrooms. Wildcat, Brea Olinda High School, CA
  63. 63. The big, white hallways look endless and confusing, the rooms are too far apart, the scattered upperclassmen seem intimidating and non one knows which turn is the right one. Everyone’s been there, and this year’s horde of mildly disoriented freshmen was no different.”
  64. 64. “I’m worried that I’m not going to be able to figure this building out, because it’s enormous, and I thought I knew where places were, except today I had no clue,” said Michael Dettmar, a freshman who attended Rachel Carson, who looked like he couldn’t decide which was more important, his schedule or the clock. The Outlook, Oakton High School, VA
  65. 65. For junior Anthony McGriff, the new school year didn’t start off easy. Three out of his five classes were incomplete, and he spent most of the first and second weeks of school waiting for a counselor’s appointment to fix his schedule. Elizabeth O’Keefe, The Squall, Dexter MI
  66. 66. When most people have a craving for coffee, “Starbucks” is usually the first word that comes to their minds. With nearly 16,000 stores worldwide, Starbucks has become the world’s leading coffee company. However, Starbucks Corporation announced its closing of 600 “underperforming” U.S. stores in a July press release. Two of Brea’s Starbucks have been shuttered this summer, located at 2435 E. Imperial Highway in the Brea Union Plaza, and 703. E. Imperial Highway at Laurel.
  67. 67. Established in 1971, Starbucks was first opened in Seattle’s Pike Place Market. Howard Schultz, chairman, president and CEO, sought to develop a coffee bar culture in Seattle similar to Milan, Italy, in 1983 Wildcat, Brea Olinda High School, CA
  68. 68. Sophomore Jeff Pituch arrived at Hart Plaza in Detroit at 8:30 a.m., greeted by a long line of people, old and young alike. Democratic Presidential candidate Barrack Obama was scheduled to speak, but not until 11. Alex Everard, The Squall, Dexter MI
  69. 69. A drop of sweat set on his brow is gently wiped away by a hand marked by creases, displaying the evidence of a day’s job well done. Removing his shoes and entering the house he is greeted with a warm welcome from his wife and sons, the faint wrinkles around his eyes complementing the smile on his lips as Jerry Herrera, custodian, is reminded of why each day is a blessing to him. Wildcat, Brea Olinda High School, CA
  70. 70. A drop of sweat set on his brow is gently wiped away by a hand marked by creases, displaying the evidence of a day’s job well done. Removing his shoes and entering the house he is greeted with a warm welcome from his wife and sons, the faint wrinkles around his eyes complementing the smile on his lips as Jerry Herrera, custodian, is reminded of why each day is a blessing to him. Wildcat, Brea Olinda High School, CA
  71. 71. The smell of chlorine can be overwhelming when sophomore Lisa Crompton walks into a pool. And usually, Crompton dreads going to swim practice every day because of this. However, when the most prolific Olympic gold medalist in history is in the same building, it takes the edge off. Scott Crompton, The Squall, Dexter MI
  72. 72. Drama director Sue Lombardo does not have actors. She does not have technicians. The only think Lombardo has is a family. “We are one big family working together to put the show on,” she said. The next show that will be produced by the Drama Club this fall will be “Lend Me a Tenor.” This play follows … Andrew Maxwell, Focus, Midland High School, MI
  73. 73. Yesterday the Student Association met to consider the fate of the Science Club’s plan to build a new telescope on the south side of the building in Mr. Kosmas' room. The plan was approved by a 20-11 vote.
  74. 74. The wind storms yesterday knocked over power lines, causing blackouts in Grosse Pointe, broke branches off trees throughout the area, toppled an oak tree in Harper Woods and knocked over some garbage cans. Power was off in Grosse Pointe for six hours before the fire department was able to restore service to the about 800 affected homes.
  75. 75. Michelle Williams, 23, of 2363 Country Club., in Grosse Pointe Woods, and her daughter, Shelly Williams, 4, of the same address, were fatally killed when their car collided with a milk truck at 4:13 p.m. at the corner of Moross and Mack yesterday.
  76. 76. Grosse Pointe North High School met Grosse Pointe South High School for the regional women’s basketball championship yesterday at South, and North won in double overtime by a score of 63-60.
  77. 77. President Barrack Obama announced yesterday that he will not seek re- election as President in the year 2012. Obama said he made his decision after discussion with his wife and “long and hard soul searching.” “This is a 24-hour-a- day job and it leaves no time for family,” the President said. “I am simply not willing to give up my family life for another four years.”
  78. 78. About 100 policemen from the state police barracks in nearby Detroit under the direction of State Police Capt. Roger Thomas used tear gas and riot gear to regain control of Parcells Middle School at 12 p.m. yesterday from a group of rioting students who had been demanding improvements in the school lunch.
  79. 79. Closing thoughts • Start with the horse: Put the subject at the top of the story, and at the start of the story. • Write about people, not issues. • Go beyond W questions. • Read.
  80. 80. Yo Comments

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