Revision

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Revision

  1. 1. Global RevisionGlobal Revision
  2. 2. Writing PromptWriting PromptTake the next five minutes and write about thefollowing:What would you like your life to be like five yearsfrom now in the year 2017? What steps are you takingto make this happen?
  3. 3. RevisionRevisionWhat does revision mean? To See AgainWhere does revision take place in the WritingProcess? After drafting and before editingWhy is revision so important? We learn to write by rewriting. Revision gives usthe opportunity to construct the “perfect” piece ofcommunication.Why do we call it “global” Revision? We are looking at the “big picture” of the paper.
  4. 4. UnityUnityUnity refers to each part of the essay and the larger wholeA unified paper shows a clear relationship between thethesis statement and topic sentences and between thetopic sentences and supporting sentences in theparagraph.An entire paper focused on supporting a central point is aunified paper.
  5. 5. UnityUnityHow do we check for unity? Read over each of the topic sentences (the main idea andusually first sentence in the paragraph), and see if the topicsentences support or amplify the thesis statement. Also, check the “internal unity” of the paper. In eachparagraph, do the supporting sentences or detail sentencesrelate back to the topic sentence?
  6. 6. UnityUnityA unified essay will have all the elements of an essay,including:1. Introduction paragraph with a thesis statement2.Body paragraphs with topic sentences connectedback to the thesis statement3.A conclusion paragraph connected back to the thesisstatement
  7. 7. Introduction ParagraphsIntroduction ParagraphsCoherent introduction paragraphs typically use thefollowing model:1. Begin with an “attention grabber” first sentence2.Explain the question or topic being explored3.Provide background information4.Use a clear thesis statement to give your readers anoverview of your paper
  8. 8. CoherenceCoherenceCoherence in writing is the clear relationship between one sentenceand the next. Each sentence should lead to the next sentence.Coherence is achieved through the logical ordering of the sentenceswithin the paragraphs and through the creation of smooth transitionsbetween the sentences and paragraphs.
  9. 9. CoherenceCoherenceAsk yourself…1. Does this point unmistakably follow from theprevious idea?2. Is this point really clear?3. Should the ideas be ordered in a differentway?
  10. 10. Old/New ContractAn effective way to create coherence in your writingis to follow something called the old/new contract.This “contract” asks that as a writer you begin yoursentences with something old—something that linksto what was previously stated—and then to endwith something new.Adapted from the following book:Ramage, John, John Bean, June Johnson. The Allyn & Bacon Guide to Writing. New York: Longman, 2003. Print.
  11. 11. Old/New ContractHow do you connect old ideas to new ideas? 1. Repeat a key word2. Use a pronoun to substitute for a key word3. Summarize or restate an earlier concept.
  12. 12. Old/New ContractWhich sentence follows the old/new contract? Remember, thismeans that old information is followed by new information.1.College students have many responsibilities. These responsibilitiesinclude attending class, completing assignments, and maintaining ahigh GPA, all of which are characteristics of successful students.2. College students have many responsibilities. Attending class,completing assignments, and maintaining a high GPA arecharacteristics of successful students.
  13. 13. Old/New ContractWhich sentence follows the old/new contract? Remember, thismeans that old information is followed by new information.1.College students have many responsibilities. These responsibilitiesinclude attending class, completing assignments, and maintaining ahigh GPA, all of which are characteristics of successful students.2. College students have many responsibilities. Attending class,completing assignments, and maintaining a high GPA arecharacteristics of successful students.
  14. 14. Old/New Contract ExerciseCompare the two sample paragraphs. 1.Which paragraph is easier to understand?2.Which paragraph follows the old/new contract?3.Underline the key words, pronouns, orrestatements of earlier concepts in the paragraphthat follows the old/new contract.
  15. 15. Old New ContractAnother principle for writing coherent essays is theold/new contract. The old/new contract asks writers tobegin sentences with something old—something thatlinks to what has gone on before—and then endsentences with new information that advances theirargument. This principle creates an effect calledcoherence, which is closely related to unity. Whereasunity refers to the clear relationship between the bodyof a paragraph and its topic sentence and betweenthe parts and the whole, coherence refers to the clearrelationship between one sentence and the next,between part and part.Adapted from the following book:Ramage, John, John Bean, June Johnson. The Allyn & Bacon Guide to Writing. New York: Longman, 2003. Print.Old/New Contract
  16. 16. Old/New ContractAn often-overlooked dimension of being goodfathers is play. From their children’s birth throughadolescence, fathers tend to emphasize play more thancaretaking. This may be troubling to egalitarianfeminists, and it would indeed be wise for most fathers tospend more time caretaking. Although caretaking isimportant, the father’s style of play seems to haveunusual significance as well. It is likely to be bothphysically stimulating and exciting. Being physicallystimulating and exciting involves teamwork that requiresthe competitive testing of physical and mental skills witholder children. This form of play frequently resembles anapprenticeship or teaching relationship: Come on, let meshow you how.Adapted from the following book:Ramage, John, John Bean, June Johnson. The Allyn & Bacon Guide to Writing. New York: Longman, 2003. Print.
  17. 17. Checklist for Structural RevisionChecklist for Structural Revision__ Are there clear introduction, body, andconclusion paragraphs?__Does the introduction provide enoughbackground for the reader?__Is there a clear thesis statement?__Is the essay unified? Do the topic sentencessupport the thesis statement? Do the detailsentences support the topic sentence?__Is the essay coherent? Do the sentences inthe paragraph follow the old/new contract?
  18. 18. Revising your FreewriteRevising your FreewriteNow that you’ve had practice with revision for unityand coherence, take a look at your free write andmake sure that your sentences are coherent, thatthey follow the old/new contract!
  19. 19. SourcesSourcesFawcett, Susan and Alvin Sandberg. Grassroots with Readings. New York: HoughtonMifflin 1998. Print.Neman, Beth. Teaching Students to Write. New York: Oxford Press, 1980. Print.Ramage, John, John Bean, June Johnson. The Allyn & Bacon Guide to Writing. New York:Longman, 2003. Print.

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