This document provides information and guidance about revision in the writing process. It discusses what revision means, where it takes place, and why it is important. Revision is looking at the "big picture" of a paper to improve unity and coherence. Unity refers to how each part of an essay relates to the central thesis. Coherence means the clear relationship between sentences through logical ordering and smooth transitions. The document offers tips for checking unity and coherence, such as following the "old/new contract" where each new sentence begins with older information and adds something new.

1. Global RevisionGlobal Revision

2. Writing PromptWriting Prompt
Take the next five minutes and write about the
following:
What would you like your life to be like five years
from now in the year 2017? What steps are you taking
to make this happen?

3. RevisionRevision
What does revision mean?
 To See Again
Where does revision take place in the Writing
Process?
 After drafting and before editing
Why is revision so important?
 We learn to write by rewriting. Revision gives us
the opportunity to construct the “perfect” piece of
communication.
Why do we call it “global” Revision?
 We are looking at the “big picture” of the paper.

4. UnityUnity
Unity refers to each part of the essay and the larger whole
A unified paper shows a clear relationship between the
thesis statement and topic sentences and between the
topic sentences and supporting sentences in the
paragraph.
An entire paper focused on supporting a central point is a
unified paper.

5. UnityUnity
How do we check for unity?
 Read over each of the topic sentences (the main idea and
usually first sentence in the paragraph), and see if the topic
sentences support or amplify the thesis statement.
 Also, check the “internal unity” of the paper. In each
paragraph, do the supporting sentences or detail sentences
relate back to the topic sentence?

6. UnityUnity
A unified essay will have all the elements of an essay,
including:
1. Introduction paragraph with a thesis statement
2.Body paragraphs with topic sentences connected
back to the thesis statement
3.A conclusion paragraph connected back to the thesis
statement

7. Introduction ParagraphsIntroduction Paragraphs
Coherent introduction paragraphs typically use the
following model:
1. Begin with an “attention grabber” first sentence
2.Explain the question or topic being explored
3.Provide background information
4.Use a clear thesis statement to give your readers an
overview of your paper

9. CoherenceCoherence
Coherence in writing is the clear relationship between one sentence
and the next. Each sentence should lead to the next sentence.
Coherence is achieved through the logical ordering of the sentences
within the paragraphs and through the creation of smooth transitions
between the sentences and paragraphs.

10. CoherenceCoherence
Ask yourself…
1. Does this point unmistakably follow from the
previous idea?
2. Is this point really clear?
3. Should the ideas be ordered in a different
way?

11. Old/New Contract
An effective way to create coherence in your writing
is to follow something called the old/new contract.
This “contract” asks that as a writer you begin your
sentences with something old—something that links
to what was previously stated—and then to end
with something new.
Adapted from the following book:
Ramage, John, John Bean, June Johnson. The Allyn & Bacon Guide to Writing. New York: Longman, 2003. Print.

12. Old/New Contract
How do you connect old ideas to new ideas?
1. Repeat a key word
2. Use a pronoun to substitute for a key word
3. Summarize or restate an earlier concept.

13. Old/New Contract
Which sentence follows the old/new contract? Remember, this
means that old information is followed by new information.
1.College students have many responsibilities. These responsibilities
include attending class, completing assignments, and maintaining a
high GPA, all of which are characteristics of successful students.
2. College students have many responsibilities. Attending class,
completing assignments, and maintaining a high GPA are
characteristics of successful students.

14. Old/New Contract
Which sentence follows the old/new contract? Remember, this
means that old information is followed by new information.
1.College students have many responsibilities. These responsibilities
include attending class, completing assignments, and maintaining a
high GPA, all of which are characteristics of successful students.
2. College students have many responsibilities. Attending class,
completing assignments, and maintaining a high GPA are
characteristics of successful students.

15. Old/New Contract Exercise
Compare the two sample paragraphs.
1.Which paragraph is easier to understand?
2.Which paragraph follows the old/new contract?
3.Underline the key words, pronouns, or
restatements of earlier concepts in the paragraph
that follows the old/new contract.

16. Old New Contract
Another principle for writing coherent essays is the
old/new contract. The old/new contract asks writers to
begin sentences with something old—something that
links to what has gone on before—and then end
sentences with new information that advances their
argument. This principle creates an effect called
coherence, which is closely related to unity. Whereas
unity refers to the clear relationship between the body
of a paragraph and its topic sentence and between
the parts and the whole, coherence refers to the clear
relationship between one sentence and the next,
between part and part.
Adapted from the following book:
Ramage, John, John Bean, June Johnson. The Allyn & Bacon Guide to Writing. New York: Longman, 2003. Print.
Old/New Contract

17. Old/New Contract
An often-overlooked dimension of being good
fathers is play. From their children’s birth through
adolescence, fathers tend to emphasize play more than
caretaking. This may be troubling to egalitarian
feminists, and it would indeed be wise for most fathers to
spend more time caretaking. Although caretaking is
important, the father’s style of play seems to have
unusual significance as well. It is likely to be both
physically stimulating and exciting. Being physically
stimulating and exciting involves teamwork that requires
the competitive testing of physical and mental skills with
older children. This form of play frequently resembles an
apprenticeship or teaching relationship: Come on, let me
show you how.
Adapted from the following book:
Ramage, John, John Bean, June Johnson. The Allyn & Bacon Guide to Writing. New York: Longman, 2003. Print.

18. Checklist for Structural RevisionChecklist for Structural Revision
__ Are there clear introduction, body, and
conclusion paragraphs?
__Does the introduction provide enough
background for the reader?
__Is there a clear thesis statement?
__Is the essay unified? Do the topic sentences
support the thesis statement? Do the detail
sentences support the topic sentence?
__Is the essay coherent? Do the sentences in
the paragraph follow the old/new contract?

19. Revising your FreewriteRevising your Freewrite
Now that you’ve had practice with revision for unity
and coherence, take a look at your free write and
make sure that your sentences are coherent, that
they follow the old/new contract!

20. SourcesSources
Fawcett, Susan and Alvin Sandberg. Grassroots with Readings. New York: Houghton
Mifflin 1998. Print.
Neman, Beth. Teaching Students to Write. New York: Oxford Press, 1980. Print.
Ramage, John, John Bean, June Johnson. The Allyn & Bacon Guide to Writing. New York:
Longman, 2003. Print.