Why Can't I Move On? Narcissistic Abuse: A Complex Trauma. Compiled by Jeni Mawter
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A person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder sucks the life and shatters the soul out of the caring person in the relationship. Healing from Narcissistic Abuse is a long and painful process. To move on from this toxic and hopeless situation seems insurmountable. This PowerPoint was created to address the question I am most commonly asked: ‘Why Can’t I Move On?’ I hope it helps. Jeni Mawter
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Why Can't I Move On? Narcissistic Abuse: A Complex Trauma. Compiled by Jeni Mawter
- 1. “Why Can’t I Move On?” Narcissistic Abuse: A Complex Trauma Compiled by Jeni Mawter www.jenimawter.com
- 3. What happened when you met your narcissist? The narcissist mirrored your needs, desires, fears and insecurities. They mirrored your ideals, beliefs and value systems. They shared your ethics and human compassion. They were the whole package. Mind + Body + Spirit + Soul = Soul Mate You’d found your Soul Mate!
- 5. Narcissistic Relationships are mutually addictive The Narcissist wants to be: Loved Adored Admired Cherished http://thumbs.dreamstime.com/x/chain-hearts- 17930342.jpg You want to be: Loved Adored Admired Cherished
- 6. A Relationship with a Narcissist comes at a cost Mental Cost = Sanity/Self- esteem/Confidence Physical Cost = Energy/Safety/Health Psychological Cost = Fear/Depression/Anxiety Spiritual Cost = Lose your ‘Self’/Soul/Spirit Social Cost = Reputation/Networks/Supports Sexual Cost = Relationships/Pleasure/Trust
- 8. “Why do you keep paying with your life?”
- 9. Maybe you don’t know what you’ve been dealing with http://www.adamsmith.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/ignorance-620x300.png
- 10. Maybe you ignore Warning Signs http://naijaoddstories.files.wordpress.com/2013/08/wpid-17.jpeg
- 11. Don’t listen to your intuition? http://brainworldmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/shutterstock_99404807.jpg
- 12. Maybe you do know EVERYTHING about Narcissistic Personality http://media-cache-ec3.pinimg.com/736x/dc/23/ec/dc23ec68e11e3fd8856c66529a204c8c.jpg
- 15. Knowledge alone is not enough https://homesforfamilies.files.wordpress.com/2014/09/knowledgeispower.gif
- 16. Maybe you choose not to act? http://fc03.deviantart.net/fs47/f/2009/239/3/4/ i__m_sorry__my_hands_are_tied__ by_boobookittyfuck.jpg
- 17. Maybe you don’t know how to act? http://www.psychologyatsouthyarra.com.au/images/psychology_help.jpg
- 18. Don’t know where to start? http://orgjunkie.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/when-you-dont-know-where-to-start2.jpg
- 22. Why are you stuck in this perpetual cycle? Stuck in the aftermath of Narcissistic Abuse? Some thoughts …
- 23. Have you become dehumanized? As human beings we: - have essential needs to be accepted, loved and respected by ourselves and others. - have dreams and hopes for meaningful and productive futures. - need to feel connected with others.
- 24. Society Let You Down? - Myths http://sd.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk
- 25. Society Let You Down? – Family http://real.fstatuses.com/cards/hearts/642154.jpg
- 26. Society Let You Down? – Religious Leaders http://images.3aw.com.au/2012/12/19/3901153/191212-Religious-Symbols.jpg
- 27. Society Let You Down? – Health Professionals http://www.paulkiritsis.net/drugabuse.jpg
- 28. Society Let You Down? - Counselors http://image.slidesharecdn.com/7mythsaboutnarcissism-110215075316-phpapp02/95/7-myths-about-narcissism-4- 728.jpg?cb=1411737172
- 29. Society Let You Down? – Law Enforcement http://d3thflcq1yqzn0.cloudfront.net/022416038_prevstill.jpeg
- 30. Society Let You Down? – Legal System Narcissists love Courtroom Drama http://storytweetblog.com/2014/09/13/ narcissistic-repercussion/
- 31. Society Let You Down? – You ME?!!! http://fc02.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/111/3/d/what_do_you_mean_meme_by_jasperseidel-d4x2gtr.jpg
- 32. Maybe you won’t believe the abuse is deliberate https://www.pilkington.com/~/media/Platform/Icons/Pilkington%20Product%20Categories/BLC%20Safety%20Securi ty.ashx?mw=200
- 33. You’re keeping up a façade http://fc05.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2013/231/4/b/behind_the_mask_by_kaizoku_hime-d6it0f3.jpg
- 34. You feel ashamed … http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Society/Pix/pictures/2011/7/6/1309962558124/Young-black-man-with- head-007.jpg
- 35. You’ve been in denial http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/thumb/msid-22175182,width-310,resizemode-4/poke-me-shouldnt-we- stop-being-in-denial-over-the-health-of-our-leaders-people-readers-react.jpg
- 36. You’ve been living with the false hope that things will change http://fc00.deviantart.net/fs14/f/2007/043/0/7/false_hope_by_feelmefromtheINSIDE.jpg
- 37. It feels like you’ve got too much to lose http://www.jobboardscripts.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/stay-or-leave.jpg
- 42. When you Dissociate to Disappear, http://metaphoricalmarathons.files.wordpress.com/2012/11/20121115-143310.jpg
- 43. it feels like you’ve lost your soul http://images.fineartamerica.com/images-medium-large-5/a-lost-soul-brian-graybill.jpg
- 44. You’ve become a “Missing Person” in a body http://pixelsatanexhibition-com.zippykid.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/michelle- robinson_uselessness-project-365-looking-for-the-lost-self_130201-1024x768.jpg
- 45. You don’t know who you are anymore http://www.pastortullian.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/identity_crisis-291x3001.jpg
- 46. Your assumptions about yourself have been shattered. You now feel:- Vulnerable - Unlovable - Irrational - Immoral - Unworthy - Unforgiving - Irrelevant - Weak - A poor judge of character - Shameful - Not Safe - Undeserving - Lack confidence - Gullible - Desperate - Bitter - Angry - Naïve - A failure - Traumatized - Powerless
- 47. You don’t have the energy to move on
- 48. You were taught wrong! http://www.liveluvcreate.com/image/love_respect_forgive-439073.html
- 49. When you expect nothing in return you’ve learnt … http://blank.to/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/5_k.jpg
- 51. Maybe you’ve been betrayed too many times! http://www.psychic-medium-readings.co.uk/blog/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/betrayal-240x300.jpg
- 52. You’ve lost all your trust http://drewchial.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/trust-fall.jpg
- 53. Maybe there are too many narcissists in your life?! http://uploads0.wikiart.org/images/honore-daumier/meeting-of-thirty-five-heads-of-expression.jpg
- 54. Your boundaries are being violated http://musictherapyeolcare.files.wordpress.com/2014/03/fence.jpg?w=672&h=372&crop=1
- 55. You are in a permanent state of Hypervigilence http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-NJ9wC5l- 8nE/Tqn6nW_3uzI/AAAAAAAABVk/PimfqmmjPX8/s400/Fight%2BOr%2BFlight%2BUncertainty.jpg
- 56. You can’t concentrate or sleep http://www.batte.com/images/figures/e.exhaustion.w.jpg
- 58. You’re bogged down with negative self talk http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/image3.jpg
- 59. You’re confused by mixed messages http://www.9lenses.com/wp-content/uploads/The_Ultimate_Love-Hate_Relationship_–_Marketing__Sales.gif
- 60. You think you’re going Crazy! http://fc02.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2011/357/e/5/i__m_not_crazy____am_i__by_maxkill300-d4k1m5d.jpg
- 61. The Pain is Physical and Constant http://kalabalu.files.wordpress.com/2013/02/22-649x627.jpeg
- 62. Yet your wounds are invisible http://wwwassets.rand.org/content/rand/capabilities/solutions/addressing-the-invisible-wounds-of- war/_jcr_content/par/solution/contextImage.aspectfit.0x0.jpg/1393779650822.jpg
- 63. Tactic: Reversal of Victim Role The Narcissist puts a huge amount of effort into their public persona. Bystanders believe that they are genuine, righteous and kind. If a victim attempts to disclose their maliciousness The Narcissist makes derogatory remarks about the target’s mental state, character and motives. They use role reversal, feigning moral indignation and playing the role of victim. Believing the public persona supporters see the real victim, attempting to be heard, as the abusive one.
- 64. People don’t understand the extent of your torment http://media-cache- ak0.pinimg.com/originals/9a/c1/25/9ac1255051f26cc63203a58ab14556a1.jpg
- 65. So there’s No Validation We heal when we are heard and validated
- 66. No Validation means No Justice from Legal Systems Family Friends Work Colleagues Peers New Partners Health Systems http://www.wallpaperhere.com/System_Failure_6939/downloa d_1024x768
- 67. It feels like it’s never over http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-bI36yWhwDLw/UciMvOCoDuI/AAAAAAAAAaE/pWKyiAudbKI/s1600/spider.jpg
- 73. You keep re-living the pain http://www.psychologytoday.com/files/imagecache/og/blogs/40875/2010/12/51578-41666.jpg
- 74. Your pain is your identity http://www.imaginationstudio.com/images/digiart/damedium/Identity%20Crisis.jpg
- 75. You’re stuck on being ‘The Victim’ http://3.bp.blogspot.com/- 7C9UIz3JozU/Uw2BLvI3AvI/AAAAAAAAARE/eHZEDe4hgBU/s1600/ Steve+Maraboli+Quote+Victim+Mentality.jpg
- 76. You’re Stuck in the Past http://images.psxextreme.com/wallpapers/ps3/lost_identity_1273.jpg
- 78. You’re too nice! In order to move on you must reject what drives you http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jfUgrSCsIUI/TnJBF- 42xbI/AAAAAAAAANA/RgeO0vYQf_8/s1600/I+Face+Trials+with+an+Open+Mind%252C+Faith%252C+Love+
- 80. You feel used and discarded http://dethcheez.deviantart.com/art/Discarded-2-Close-Up-60849999
- 82. You feel battle worn http://thechive.files.wordpress.com /2013/01/top-taps-127-42.jpg ?w=500&h=750
- 83. Why is it so easy for an abuser to get away with it and so difficult for an abuse victim to be heard?
- 84. Unless others have experienced Narcissistic Abuse they don’t believe it https://afternarcissisticabuse.files.wordpress.com/2013/12/1inexplicable.jpg?w=604
- 85. You can’t change a Narcissist so you have to change your ‘Self’
- 86. What is your ‘Self’? http://images.fineartamerica.com/images-medium-large/who-am-i-sladjana- endt.jpg Needs Desires Opinions Thoughts Feelings Values Beliefs Voice Ideals
- 88. Maybe create a new ‘You’ http://i.vimeocdn.com/video/493294383_640.jpg
- 90. About Jeni Mawter Jeni Mawter is an Australian writer whose young adult multi-text novel, Kiss Kill, is about Narcissistic Personality Disorder. http://amzn.com/B00PIADCNY www.jenimawter.com
- 91. Narcissistic Abuse thrives in secrecy Please share http://pixabay.com/p-310969/?no_redirect
- 92. Other Narcissistic Personality Disorder links to share http://www.slideshare.net/jenimawter/red-flags-to- narcissistic-personality-disorder-compiled-by-jeni- mawter http://www.slideshare.net/jenimawter/narcissistic- victim-syndrome-a-powerpoint-by-jeni-mawter http://www.slideshare.net/jenimawter/moving-on- from-narcissistic-abuse-due-to-narcissistic- personality-disorder-npd-compiled-by-jeni-mawter http://www.slideshare.net/jenimawter/verbal-abuse- and-the-narcissist-communication-tactics-designed- to-make-you-crazy