Escalating rates of teen dating violence nationwide is reason for concern and intervention. When Love Hurts is a campaign created by four NC State Graduate students with the intent of empowering teens to become educated so they can end the epidemic.

1. Disclaimer
The images and music in this
presentation may not be suitable for
all audiences. Presentation contains
graphic images and profane lyrics.
Viewer discretion is advised

3. WHY IS THIS TOPIC IMPORTANT?
Escalating rates of teen exposure to dating violence as a peer,
perpetrator and as a victim is reason for concern and
attention. One in three adolescents in the U.S. is a victim of
physical, sexual, emotional or verbal abuse from a dating
partner, a figure that far exceeds rates of other types of youth
violence.
When Love Hurts: Empowering teens to end dating
violence will explore the causes and behaviors associated with
dating violence and provide strategies for prevention and
resources for intervention. Enough is Enough! Get the facts
and end violence!

6. UNDERSTANDING ABUSE
Relationships can be complicated. Couples sometimes have
disagreements, but do not be fooled; disagreements are
fleeting, dating abuse is a habit. If you're not sure whether
a relationship is abusive or not check out the most common
types below:
Physical
Verbal
Emotional
Sexual
Digital

7. Forceful controlling aggression leading
to hitting, punching, pulling, biting etc.
Think it can’t happen to you?
Statistics prove otherwise!
1 in 10 high school students has been purposefully hit,
slapped or physically hurt by a boyfriend or girlfriend
(Grunbaum J.A, Kann L., & Kinchen S., 2004).
Physical aggression is reported by 30–50% of
adolescents in dating relationships
Nearly 1.5 million high school students nationwide
experience physical abuse from a dating partner in a single
year (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2006).

8. You don’t have to hit to hurt…
Verbal Abuse
This means threatening a partner or harming
their sense of self-worth. Examples include name
calling, shaming, bullying, embarrassing on
purpose, or keeping them away from friends and

9. You don’t have to hit to hurt…
EMOTIONAL ABUSE BEHAVIORS
REJECTING, CORRUPTING,
ISOLATING, THREATENING,
DENYING, MINIMIZING,
INSULTING, HUMILIATING,
CONTROLLING, JEALOUS,
POSSESSIVE, YELLING,
DEGRADING, MANIPULATING,
PRESSURE, DESTRUCTIVE

10. Sexual Abuse

12. You don’t have to hit to hurt…
Digital Dating Abuse
Digital dating abuse is the use of technologies
such as texting and social media
(Facebook/Twitter) to bully, harass, stalk or
intimidate a partner. Often this behavior is a
form of verbal or emotional abuse perpetrated
online. In a healthy relationship, all
communication is respectful whether in
person, online or by phone. It is never ok for
someone to do or say anything that makes
you feel bad, lowers your self-esteem or
manipulates you.
You may be experiencing digital abuse if your
partner: forces you to sext , embarrasses you
online, shares your private matters publicly,
invades your privacy, sends text threats
http://www.loveisrespect.org/is-this-abuse/types-of-abuse/what-is-
digital-abuse

13. What do perpetrators
look like?
Anyone can be abuser!
Regardless of the:
AFFILIATION
BODY TYPE
UPBRINGING
SEXUAL ORIENTATION
EDUCATION LEVEL
RACE/RELIGION
ANYONE!
ANYWHERE!

14. RED FLAGS
RECOGNIZING PERPETRATORS…
❖EXPOSURE TO IN-HOME VIOLENCE
❖BOTH MALES AND FEMALES EXPOSED TO MOTHER-TO-FATHER
(MOTHER IS ABUSER) VIOLENCE
❖ JEALOUSY
❖CONTROLLING BEHAVIOR
❖UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS
❖USE OF FORCE DURING AN ARGUMENT
❖HYPERSENSITIVITY
❖POOR COMMUNICATION
❖USE OF DRUGS OR ALCOHOL
❖PEER INFLUENCE (VIOLENT AND/OR AGGRESSIVE PEERS)
❖LACK OF PARENTAL INFLUENCE OR SUPPORT

15. RED FLAGS
RECOGNIZING VICTIMS
 DEPRESSION
 POOR SCHOOL PERFORMANCE
 ISOLATING BEHAVIOR (AVOIDING FRIENDS AND FAMILY)
 PHYSICAL SIGNS OF ABUSE (BRUISES, HAND PRINTS AND/OR
SCRATCHES)
 UNUSUAL BEHAVIOR OF THE TEEN (BINGE DRINKING, DRUG USE, AND
REBELLIOUS ATTITUDE)
 SUBMISSIVE BEHAVIOR AROUND FAMILY AND FRIENDS
 EXCESSIVE PHONE CALLS OR MESSAGES
 CHANGES IN MOOD/EMOTIONAL OUTBURSTS
 APOLOGETIC FOR BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND

16. In the 90’s Halle Berry was
beaten and humiliated by one
of her boyfriends. One attack
caused her to lose about 80%
of her hearing in her right
ear.

17. Don’t wait until its too
late!
http://chicagodefender.com/2014/10/29/when-dating-becomes-deadly-know-the-signs-of-teen-dating-violence/

18. The Law Is on Your Side
• All 50 states and the District of Columbia have laws against
dating violence behaviors such as sexual assault, domestic
violence, and stalking. However, the specific term “dating
violence” is almost never used in these laws.
• In 39 states and the District of Columbia, victims of dating
violence can apply for protective orders against the
perpetrator.
• Age requirements and the language of the laws vary by state.

19. Access to Protective Orders
In North Carolina, minors can obtain Protective Orders (POs), but the law does not specify
whether POs can be granted against minor abusers. North Carolina allows people in
dating relationships to seek POs against their abusers; however, the law explicitly denies
individuals in same sex relationships the right to file for a protective order against their
partners.
Procedure
State law does not specify whether minors can petition for POs on their own behalf. A person
who has custody of or resides with the minor may petition for a PO on the minor’s behalf. If
a minor is able to file on their own behalf, North Carolina law does not specify whether the
parent or guardian of the minor will be notified about the PO.
Definition of Abuse
A judge may issue a PO when the respondent has physically abused, sexually abused,
threatened to physically abuse, stalked or harassed the petitioner. The statute may
recognize other forms of abuse not specifically listed here.

20. ● Don't Go on the Offensive
● Listen and Believe
● Teach Love as a Behavior
● Assess the Danger
● Identify Options
RESOURCES
Futures Without Violence - a national movement to promote healthy
relationships through positive role modeling and respect education;
provides parents, teachers, coaches and other role models with tools
and resources necessary to teach young people about respect in
relationships.
Love is Not Abuse - is a growing national grassroots coalition of
parents, teachers and ANYONE advocating for teen dating abuse
education in every middle school and high school in the country.
Break The Cycle - national nonprofit organization addressing teen
dating violence. They work every day towards their mission to engage,
educate and empower youth to build lives and communities free from
domestic violence.

21. Want to
walk
away?
Want
OUT?

22. Change is
possible!
Help is
available
HELP FOR PERPETRATORS
Cybergrrl: www.cybergrrl.com
National Domestic Violence Hotline
www.ndvh.org
Men Stopping Violence:
www.menstoppingviolence.org
Blain Nelson's Abuse Pages:
www.blainn.cc/abuse/index.html

23. WHAT TO DO
WHEN LOVE HURTS …

25. HELP RAISE AWARENESS
HELP INCREASE TEEN ACCOUNTABILITY
HELP END TEEN DATING VIOLENCE
WWW.CAUSES.COM/WHENLOVEHURTS

26. WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU
Take our online survey and tell us what you think.
Share this information with your peers.
The only way to prevent teen dating violence is to increase
awareness.
https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/THNHTXN

27. Help us raise awareness and educate teens and parents
on Teen Dating Violence.
You can find us on FaceBook, YouTube, Twitter and
SlideShare
@whenlovehurts553

28. This presentation was brought to you by:
Shon Sims, Lauren Meluzio, Dorothy Newman, and Ashantae Sweeney As a product of
FYD 553 Applied Concepts in Child and Youth Development Fall 2014
Professor: Kim Allen, Ph.D.
NC STATE UNIVERSITY
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