DATINGVIOLENCECARLOS F. MARTINEZ MHA, M.ED. CARLOSFMARTINEZ.COM
Teen Dating ViolenceTEEN DATING VIOLENCE IS THE CONTROL OFONE TEENAGE PARTNER OVER THE OTHERTEENAGE PARTNER IN THE FORMOF EMOTIONAL, VERBAL, PHYSICAL AND/ORSEXUAL ABUSE. THESE ABUSIVE BEHAVIORSARE PURPOSEFULLY USED BY ONETEENAGER TO HURT AND CONTROL THEIRPARTNER. EMOTIONAL ABUSE IS THE VERBALBEHAVIOR THAT HARMS A PERSONS SELF-ESTEEM AND CAUSES SHAME. PHYSICAL ABUSEIS THE BEHAVIOR AND ANY ACTION WHICHCAUSES PHYSICAL PAIN OR INJURY. SEXUALABUSE IS ANY UNWANTED SEXUAL ADVANCE ORCONTACT.
Emotional Abuse examples Repeated lies, broken promises. -Extreme jealousy - keeps a partner away from friends. -Insults and put-downs -Threats against personal safety. -Controlling a persons basic decisions - how to dress, what to eat, who to talk to, where to go, what to do.
Physical Abuse examples Punching, kicking, slapping Shaking, pushing or grabbing Attacking with a knife, gun or other weapon Any physical act that is unwanted or hurtful
Sexual Abuse examplesUnwelcome sexual commentsForcing someone to kissForcing someone to have sexual intercourse when they do not want to.
Teen Dating Statistics About one in three high school students have been or will be involved in an abusive relationship. Forty percent of teenage girls’ ages 14 to 17 say they know someone their age who has been hit or beaten by a boyfriend. In one study, from 30 to 50 percent of female high school students reported having already experienced teen dating violence. Teen dating violence most often takes place in the home of one of the partners.
Teen Dating Statistics... (continue) One in five or 20 percent of dating couples report some type of violence in their relationship. One study found that 38 percent of date rape victims were young women from 14 to 17 years of age. More than half young women raped (68 percent) knew their rapist either as a boyfriend, or friend
Teen dating violence often is hiddenbecause teenagers typicallyare pressured by peers to act violently.want independence from parents.have "romantic" views of love.
Young men may believe they have the right to "control" their female partners in any way necessary. "masculinity" is physical aggressiveness they "possess" their partner. they should demand intimacy. they may lose respect if they are attentive and supportive toward their girlfriends.
Young women may believe they are responsible for solving problems in their relationships their boyfriends jealousy, possessiveness and even physical abuse, is "romantic." abuse is "normal" because their friends are also being abused. there is no one to ask for help.
Early warning signs that your datemay eventually become abusive Extreme jealousy Believes in rigid sex Controlling behavior roles Unpredictable mood Blames others for hisswings problems or feelings Alcohol and drug use Cruel to animals or Explosive anger children Isolates you from Verbally abusivefriends and family Abused former partners Uses force during anargument Threatens violence
Common clues that indicate a teenagermay be experiencing dating violence Physical signs of injury Truancy, dropping out of school Failing grades Changes in mood or personality Use of drugs/alcohol Pregnancy Emotional outburst Isolation
Safety Planning for Teens What adults can you tell about the violence and abuse? What people at school can you tell in order to be safe--teachers, principal, counselors, security? Consider changing your school locker or lock. Consider changing your route to/from school. Use a buddy system for going to school, classes and after school activities. What friends can you tell to help you remain safe?
Safety Planning for Teens Keep a journal describing the abuse. Get rid of or change the number to any beepers, pagers or cell phones the abuser gave you. Keep spare change, calling cards, number of the local shelter, number of someone who could help you and restraining orders with you at all times. Where could you go quickly to get away from an abusive person? What other things can you do?
This is a photo of Carolyn Thomas before her facewas destroyed in a shooting.
This is Carolyn after her boyfriendshot her in the face
Besides the jaw, tissue, and bone, Carolynlost an eye, nose, and upper lip.
Carolyn Thomas must feed herself four timesa day using a tube attached to her stomach
The first of several surgeries; the goal was tomake sure Carolyn could breathe whilepreventing infection.
Each day, she will have to glue the piece to her face toapply the synthetic nose.