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What's your communication style?
1.
2. Perceptions of others may prevent effective
communication
We may label someone as difficult when in
reality the person is simply different from you.
Understanding our behavioral style and
communication patterns, as well as those of
your employees, peers, and boss can help us
build credibility in the workplace
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4. Assertiveness:
Are opinions state with
assurance, confidence or
force?
Is input given with
declarations and attempts
to direct others?
Expressiveness:
Are we perceived as
expressing or holding back
on expressing feelings?
Do we react to influences,
appeals or stimulation with
a display of emotions?
Do we displays emotions
outwardly?
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5. Less Assertive Behavior
•Softer volume of speech
•Slower pace of speech
•Less expressing of
opinions
•Body posture is more
back
•Fewer directive gesture
•Less eye contact
More Assertive Behavior
• Louder volume of speech
• Faster pacing of speech
• More expression of opinions
• Body posture is forward
• More directive gesture
• Longer lasting eye contactLess Expressive
Behavior
•Fewer facial
expressions
•Less use of
hands & body
•Less oriented to
people
•More task
oriented
•More even pace
of delivery
•Less voice
inflection
•Less use of
feeling words in
describing things
More Expressive
Behavior
•More expressive facial
expressions
•More use of hands &
body
•More people oriented
•Less task oriented
•More varied pace of
vocal delivery
•More voice inflection
•More use of describing
things using feeling
words than fact words
Controller Persuader
StabilizerAnalyzer
6. Adjusting our style to someone else’s
Helps put them at ease
May increase the effectiveness of our
interaction
Also called “flexing” styles
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Doesn’t Matter Where You Live If you Know How to Travel…
7. To be influential in a request
Making a critical presentation
The first time you meet a person
When there may be some stress or conflict
Addressing a customer problem or complaint
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8. Recognize the other style
Plan your flex (adjustment) both content and
delivery
Do the “flex”
Use Active Listening
Evaluate how you did
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9. Is a skill
To demonstrate you understand
feelings and thoughts
From the other person’s point of view
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If we were supposed to talk more than we listen, we would
have two mouths and one ear
-Mark Twain
10. Understanding others’ styles involves:
Observing their behavior
Noting their degree of assertiveness and
expressiveness
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11. Affects most, if not all, people they
encounter, not just those who may be overly
sensitive
Exhibits a threshold set lower than most –
they are easily triggered to react to a
situation which may not affect others
Is frequent and habitual: they act this way
most of the time
12. Take responsibility for the situation
Believe it can be solved
Keep the other party in good light
There is more than one way to look at it
13. Our perceptions are based on our beliefs
We react based on fight or flight
We categorize as friend or foe
19. Need for control
Abusive, abrupt, accusatory and intimidating
Value high levels of self confidence
Bully their way toward results they want
Never let others speak
Steamroll others’ opinions and ideas
20. Be calm
Stand up to the person – assertively express
your own opinion
Allow them to vent
Identify their issues- the facts
Explain benefits of other points of view
Get them to sit – a less aggressive position
21. Don’t wait for an invitation
Don’t apologize
Tell them what you’re about to do
Explain the reason for it
22. Superiority complex
Have strong need for security in
unpredictable world
Seek respect through acknowledged
competence
Have tone of absolute certainty
Interrupt with factoids and data dumps
Be imposing, pompous, make you feel dumb
Control people and events with lengthy
arguments
23. Know your facts and discuss them in an
orderly manner
Do not ball-park
Listen actively
Help them consider alternative views – avoid
challenges to their expertise
Resist temptation to assert your own expert
credentials
Question without antagonizing
25. ◦ Needs to be liked
◦ Says yes to all requests
◦ Over promises and under delivers
◦ Seeks approval
◦ May be resentful and anxiety-ridden because of
over-extension
26. ◦ Make honesty non-threatening, surface concerns
about the truth
◦ Don’t allow person to over commit
◦ Ask for feedback on things that may affect your
relationship
◦ Be personal without phoniness; express your value
for them as a person
◦ Pay attention to humor
27. • Can’t or won’t take responsibility
•Want sympathy
•Find fault with everything
•May be self-righteous or come across as morally
perfect
28. • Don’t be an audience
• Break the cycle of passing blame; insist on
problem solving
• Listen carefully-they may just need to vent
• Make sure they have the facts of the specific
situation
• Don’t agree just to appease
• Ask them how to potentially solve the issue
29. Limit risk and seek safety
May be timid, uncomfortable or uncertain
Often non-committal despite obvious
problems
Want to avoid conflict
May not be able to speak honestly
30. Get them talking with open-ended questions
Apply friendly, silent eye contact and hold it
Use comments as appropriate
Set time limits
Be attentive and allow vagueness
31. Throw cold water on every idea
Deflate optimism
Believe in absolute, immovable barriers
Feel powerless and feel those with power
cannot be trusted
May be angry and resentful
32. Resist temptation to argue
Allow them to be the reality checker
Require specifics; discourage generalizations
Offer examples of past successes
Show that some alternatives are worth trying
Ask, “What’s the worst that could happen?”
33. Learned delay may make decision
unnecessary
Can’t make up their mind
Tend to procrastinate
Decisions cause stress
Lack of organization or prioritization could be
to blame
34. Make it easy for them to tell you why they
aren’t acting
Listen for indirect words, hesitations
How can you help?
Have them set their own intermediate
deadlines
Hold them to deadlines, stress quality and
service
