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Rewriting Technical Information—IRIS Example
In the example below,Itriedto:
 Make iteasyto see whywe are tellingthemthis(change headingto“SimplifyingWetland
Delineation”)
 Provide contextupfront(the topicsentence orientsthe reader;thenIexplainthe traditional
approach;thenI explain the connectionbetweenhydricsoilsandwetlands)
 Provide problemstatement(expensive,etc.)
 Explainhowwe doit better/solve problem
 Give clear,easy‐to‐readexplanationof the technology
 Clearlystate the mainpoint(whatwe can conclude aboutwetlandpresence fromIRIStube
results)
 Provide authoritative supportforthe technique (fromNTCHS)
 Write it well sothe readergetspulledalong,isinterested,wantstokeepreading, remembers
the point
Importantcomponentswere:
 Knowingwhatelementstoinclude (or leaveout)
 Knowinghowtoresearchfor (andunderstandandsummarize) missinginformation
 Knowingwhatorderof informationtouse
 Knowinghowtowordeach sentence wellforflow,coherence,emphasis,andconcision
 Knowingwhentoaskquestionsorseekexpertreviewof astatement
Original (206 words)
IRIS Tube use – alternative way to determine presence of reducing conditions in soils that
indicates hydrology.
A lesscostlyalternativetoexpensive anddata-intensivegroundwatermonitoringwellstodetermineif
wetlandconditonsandformationof hydricsoilshasoccurredistouse Indicatorof ReductionInSoils
(IRIS) tubes. Thislow-techmethodhasbeenapprovedbythe National Technical Committee onHydric
Soils(NTCHS). IRIStubesare 24 inchpvc tubingthat are coated witha speciallyformulatedironoxide
paint. Wheninstalledinthe groundfora monthor longer,the paintonthe tubesisdesignedtodissolve
underreducingsoil conditions(Rabenhorst,2008),indicatingthathydricsoilsare present. Results
indicate whetherornot there issufficienthydrologyandorganicmatterto supportmicrobial processes
that are indicative of wetlandsoils. IRIStubesare amuch lesstime consumingandlesscostlythan
groundwatermodelingbecause yousimplyleave theminthe groundfora monthor more (followingthe
protocol approvedbyNTCHS) and thenextractthemto determinewhatpercentage of the painthas
beendissolvedthatindicateswetlandsoil conditions.Thistechnologycouldbe usedinappropriate
locationsincoordinationwithgroundwaterwellstokeepcostsandlaborneedsdown.
Anita(184 words)
IRIS Tubes: Simplifying Wetland Delineation
Delineatingwetlandareas isanimportantpart of environmentalinvestigations. Traditionally, some of
the needed information is gathered by installing groundwater monitoring wells to test for the hydric
soils that developunderreducingconditions.These soilsare neededbyhydrophytic(water-loving)
vegetation,andtheirpresence indicatesthe existenceof awetland.However, these wells are
expensive,time-consuming, anddata-intensive.
Whenappropriate, [CompanyX] recommendsalesscostly,faster,andsimplermethod, Indicatorof
ReductioninSoils(IRIS) tubes.These 24-inchPVCtubesare coatedwithaspeciallyformulatediron
oxide paintthatdissolvesunderreducingconditions.Scientistssimply leave the tubes inthe groundfor
a monthor more (following approved protocol)andthendetermine whatpercentage of the painthas
dissolved. If ahighpercentage hasdissolved,hydricsoilsare present,and there islikely sufficientwater
circulation andorganicmatter tosupport wetland microbial processes.IRIStechnology hasbeen
approvedbythe National Technical Committee onHydricSoilsand canbe used in coordinationwith
groundwaterwellstokeepcostsandlaborneeds forwetlanddelineation down.

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Wetland Delineation--IRIS Tubes[REDACTED]

  • 1. Rewriting Technical Information—IRIS Example In the example below,Itriedto:  Make iteasyto see whywe are tellingthemthis(change headingto“SimplifyingWetland Delineation”)  Provide contextupfront(the topicsentence orientsthe reader;thenIexplainthe traditional approach;thenI explain the connectionbetweenhydricsoilsandwetlands)  Provide problemstatement(expensive,etc.)  Explainhowwe doit better/solve problem  Give clear,easy‐to‐readexplanationof the technology  Clearlystate the mainpoint(whatwe can conclude aboutwetlandpresence fromIRIStube results)  Provide authoritative supportforthe technique (fromNTCHS)  Write it well sothe readergetspulledalong,isinterested,wantstokeepreading, remembers the point Importantcomponentswere:  Knowingwhatelementstoinclude (or leaveout)  Knowinghowtoresearchfor (andunderstandandsummarize) missinginformation  Knowingwhatorderof informationtouse  Knowinghowtowordeach sentence wellforflow,coherence,emphasis,andconcision  Knowingwhentoaskquestionsorseekexpertreviewof astatement Original (206 words) IRIS Tube use – alternative way to determine presence of reducing conditions in soils that indicates hydrology. A lesscostlyalternativetoexpensive anddata-intensivegroundwatermonitoringwellstodetermineif wetlandconditonsandformationof hydricsoilshasoccurredistouse Indicatorof ReductionInSoils (IRIS) tubes. Thislow-techmethodhasbeenapprovedbythe National Technical Committee onHydric Soils(NTCHS). IRIStubesare 24 inchpvc tubingthat are coated witha speciallyformulatedironoxide paint. Wheninstalledinthe groundfora monthor longer,the paintonthe tubesisdesignedtodissolve underreducingsoil conditions(Rabenhorst,2008),indicatingthathydricsoilsare present. Results indicate whetherornot there issufficienthydrologyandorganicmatterto supportmicrobial processes that are indicative of wetlandsoils. IRIStubesare amuch lesstime consumingandlesscostlythan groundwatermodelingbecause yousimplyleave theminthe groundfora monthor more (followingthe protocol approvedbyNTCHS) and thenextractthemto determinewhatpercentage of the painthas beendissolvedthatindicateswetlandsoil conditions.Thistechnologycouldbe usedinappropriate locationsincoordinationwithgroundwaterwellstokeepcostsandlaborneedsdown. Anita(184 words) IRIS Tubes: Simplifying Wetland Delineation Delineatingwetlandareas isanimportantpart of environmentalinvestigations. Traditionally, some of the needed information is gathered by installing groundwater monitoring wells to test for the hydric soils that developunderreducingconditions.These soilsare neededbyhydrophytic(water-loving)
  • 2. vegetation,andtheirpresence indicatesthe existenceof awetland.However, these wells are expensive,time-consuming, anddata-intensive. Whenappropriate, [CompanyX] recommendsalesscostly,faster,andsimplermethod, Indicatorof ReductioninSoils(IRIS) tubes.These 24-inchPVCtubesare coatedwithaspeciallyformulatediron oxide paintthatdissolvesunderreducingconditions.Scientistssimply leave the tubes inthe groundfor a monthor more (following approved protocol)andthendetermine whatpercentage of the painthas dissolved. If ahighpercentage hasdissolved,hydricsoilsare present,and there islikely sufficientwater circulation andorganicmatter tosupport wetland microbial processes.IRIStechnology hasbeen approvedbythe National Technical Committee onHydricSoilsand canbe used in coordinationwith groundwaterwellstokeepcostsandlaborneeds forwetlanddelineation down.