The best commit messages from the Spring 2024 edition of CMSC 23320 Foundations of Computer Networks

1. The Best Commit Messages of 2024
University of Chicago – CMSC 23320 Foundations of Computer Networks

2. Before we begin, let's take
a look back at...

3. Top Ten Commit Messages
of All Time

4. 10. call my tcp covid because it's
retransmitting
9. I CRAVE THE SEROTONIN THE LITTLE
GREEN DOTS PROVIDE
8. WELL BUTTER MY BUTT AND CALL ME A
BISCUIT, GUESS WHO GOT THE TESTS
PASSING?
7. i love the smell of segfaults in the
morning
6. AND NOW THE UNS██TTENING BEGINS

5. 5. The night is dark and full of errors
4. (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻TCP┻
3. oh my god, it's spelled LUSERS, not
LUSER
2. last push of the night
jk can't stop

6. 1. worked an additional day, finished
everything but send function is clearly
broken so test all fail. this is hell on
earth. I would pray to God, but I don't
know how to correctly send messages.

7. And give a special shout
out to...

8. The Commit Message Meme
Hall of Fame

15. -- Me, 10 minutes ago.

16. -- Me, 10 minutes ago.

17. -- Me, 10 minutes ago.

19. The Best Commit Messages of 2024

20. $ grep "^[^a-z]+$" commits.txt
ALL TESTS ARE PASSING HALLELUJAH
ONLY 2 TO GO LETS GOOOOO ONLY 3 AM STILL
HAVE TIME
IM AT WAR
WE ARE NOT LUSERS I SWEAR
BARE MINIMUM BABY :3 :>
AHAHAHAHAAHAHDSKLJFL:SDJFLKSJFSJDLFJSD
UNRELIABLE DATA TRANSFER IS
DONEEEEEEE😌😌😌😌😌😌😌😌

21. $ grep ! commits.txt
structure!
Goodbye and peace out chirc!
Look at me, two lines made chirc crash
less!!
The battle against JOIN infinite looping
continues. Onward!
FIXED OUT OF ORDER SIGN IN THE ELEVATOR!!

22. $ grep ? commits.txt
something really bad is happening?
there is a weird lock here???
wtf main is like intentionally leaking
memory???
nothing works but perhaps linux will fix my
endianness woes?
syn? no sinning here :3 :>
still an abomination but at least some
messages are sending???

23. $ grep -P "[^x00-x7F]" commits.txt
add ➕ locks 🔏 to user and channel struct
to protect shared data structures
🔒locking🔐 the send function 🔑
no more magic numbers 🔮🔮🔮
more cleaning 🧹🫧🧽🧼🧹🫧🧽🧼🧹🫧🧽🧼
╭(○｀∀´○)╯

24. $ grep "^...$" commits.txt | sort -u
🧹🧹🧹
...
95%
arp
asd
ass
Brb
FIN
fix
$ grep "^....$" commits.txt | sort -u
hmm
idk
Idk
IDK
Job
new
omg
OMG
plz
sad
tcp
tmp
ugh
upd
wip
wtf
yay
yur
args
augh
away
AWAY
Base
bleh
bonk
boom
breh
bruh
bugs
darn
docs
done
fix1
fix2
fix3
fix4
fix5
fix6
fix7
fix8
fix9
haha
hlep
ICMP
init
JOIN
List
List
lock
Logs
mmmm
nice
NULL
oper
Oper
OPER
Ouch
PART
plan
same
temp
Temp
test
whoo
Work
Yolo

25. $ grep -i bug commits.txt | wc --lines
292

26. $ grep -i bug commits.txt
Fixed an annoying bug
squashed some annoying bugs
omg i think i fixed the quit bug it was
so simple
It turns out that rereading your code
actually helps you debug issues,
especially when those issues have to do
with basic arithmetic
Found a bug, didn't fix it :(

27. $ grep -i test commits.txt
Well, it passes one test now
last three tests ugh
im not even sure what i updated but some more
tests are passing so yay
this code is an abomination but it passes
some other tests so im just gonna leave them
here but i will clean it up
passing 1/sqrt{4} tests :3
Cursed test only passes when loglevel = TRACE

28. omg the green dots and the dopamine rush

29. $ grep -i what commits.txt
idrrrrrrk what
what were we DOING... so JANK
whats happening idk
I don't know what I changed
idk why things changed i just pulled but
whatever

30. $ grep -i god commits.txt
OH MY GOD THE STUPID MODES ARE DONE MY
GOD
FOUND MAJOR ISSUE CAUSING ALL OF
ASSIGNMENT 1 TO BREAK THANK GOD
I AM GOD HIMSELF (WITH GOOD CODING
PRACTICES) BOW BEFORE ME
bare minimum once again god bless :3 :>
don't thank God, thank me
god can't help us SYNners :3 :>

31. $ grep -i f██k commits.txt
no f██king way
beforeIf██kthingsup
finally found the f██king bug : missing
return CHIRC_OK
f██k f██k f██k f██k stupid f██king
race condition or something
f██k me race condition time
f██kitweball

32. fixes some potential f██kery in GENERAL_SEND
Revert "fixes some potential f██kery in GENERAL_SEND"

34. this is literally mocking my ability to merge
how did i manage to merge conflict
with my own change lmao what
I think I defeated git this time

35. when I fell asleep this morning all I
could dream about was return CHITCP_OK;
i lied when I said i went to sleep in the
previous commit

36. potential crimes here