Women with ovarian cancer joined Julie Larson, LCSW and peers via video or phone to discuss "Survivor's Guilt."

1. SURVIVOR’S GUILT

2. Survivor’s Guilt is a deep feeling of guilt often experienced by
those who have survived a catastrophe that took the lives of
others. In part from feelings of being unworthy relative to
those who died.
 Under-recognized
 Little studied
 Rarely discussed as a consequence of survival
 Dismissed
 Minimized
SURVIVOR’S GUILT

3.  Loss of a fellow cancer survivor companion
 News of a recurrence in a fellow survivor
 Being an earlier stage relative to fellow survivors
 Having fewer or less invasive treatments
 Receiving “good news” in the presence of others
 Not doing cancer “well”
 Not being “enough” of a survivor
 Not having an epiphany or life-changing moment
DIFFERENT TYPES:

4. RATIONAL VS. IRRATIONAL
 Action (or lack of action) did impact the death of another.
 Guilt arises from a perceived sense of what you could have or
should not have done.
 Some theories suggest blaming oneself is easier than feeling a
loss of control or helpless.
 When others see your guilt as irrational it can be minimized
which feels frustrating.
RATIONAL VS. IRRATIONAL

5. WHY?WHY?WHY?WHY?

6. THE “WHY ME” STRUGGLE
 Many survivors struggle to understand why they survived and
others have not.
 Not worthy of survival
 Feelings of relief or appreciation for survival/health alongside
shame or guilt for those feelings.
 Not necessarily a sign of unhealthy grief
 When the feelings become intrusive, seek support
THE “WHY ME” STRUGGLE

7. SURVIVOR’S GUILT DECODED
 Empathy
 Sadness
 Grief
 Anxiety
 Pressure
 PTSD

8. AM I GRIEVING?
Recognizing Symptoms
 Crying
 Lack of energy
 Uncertainty
 Changes in sleeping or eating habits
 Feeling withdrawn or unmotivated
 Irritable, demanding, underlying “buzz” of anger
 Hyperactivity, fear of slowing down
 Decreased productivity, trouble concentrating
 Avoidance of others or fear of being alone

9.  Acceptance – guilt is a normal feeling. Stigmatized and
often made to feel wrong for feeling.
 You are not alone – more common that acknowledged.
 Two feelings can exist at once – grief and appreciation
for your life can be experienced together.
 Allow for grief response – honor what you have lost.
 “What is” vs. “What if/Why”? – Engage with the
present moment, catch when the past or future distract you
from right now.
WHAT CAN I DO?

10. THROUGH THE MIDDLE OF GRIEF…

11. SELF-COMPASSION
• Notice your distress (suffering)
• Show yourself the same kindness,
comfort or reassurance you would
others
• Remind yourself that to feel distress,
to be imperfect, is part of being human
SELF-COMPASSION

12. • Letting go of “The Fight”
• Acceptance = Acknowledgement
• NOT: approval, passivity, resignation
• Curiosity
• Leads the way to being present
ACCEPTANCE

13. • Direct your attention
• Anchor thought to physical presence
• Pair the experience of distress with the
reminder to focus on right now
• Take inventory – Use your 5 sense
• The present is the only time we have to
create, be in relationships and LIVE.
ATTENTION - MINDFULNESS

14. SELF CARE: GUILT, PRESSURE
 Many survivors with guilt feel an strong need to find meaning
for their survival.
 Critically think about what you are/feel capable of doing to
support others.
 Is there someone you trust who can mentor and support you in
new ventures.

15. 1. Listen to yourself. Come to understand what you are feeling,
thinking and needing.
2. Learn how to care for yourself.
3. Decide who the best audience is for you today related to
what you need to express.
4. Know your emotional “hot spots”.
5. Reach out to good friends or a therapist to help you better
understand your feelings and support you as you
IN SUMMARY: