An assortment of 354 poems, 75 prose ramblings, and 40 B-Sides. This is an adolescent’s collection of poetry, fables, and the random prose wanderings of the mind. It was written from age 16 to 18. They were largely forgotten and lost, but were recently restored to Iyan on Christmas Eve 2007. It is chock full of sarcasm and references to sex and drugs. Many of the works are self-portraits, though notably not those in the first few chapters–the ones Puritans should never read. Topics include: Christianity, Deism, Sin, Love, Santa, Friendship, Ostracism, Nature, the Military, History, Aliens, Murder, Hypocrisy, Fame, Sleep, Zombies, Revenge, Women, Perspective, Bananas, Vampires, TV, Travels, Dreams, Making Beds, and Perfection, et cetera. Some sections that deserve special mention are: *To You, which is a sonnet cycle *Haiku’s to No One, which is a poem written haiku-based stanzas *The Lewd Reference Dictionary, which sets forth the true (and unknown) meanings for expletives *Widdles, which are feeble attempts at riddles.
Available on Amazon at:
http://www.amazon.com/Repressed-Memories-Iyan-Igma-Condensed/dp/1442128151/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1246644285&sr=1-1
These 267 poems and 23 short stories and satires deal with subjects such as God, love, faith, nature, life, corruption (politics,) global warming, depression, marriage, adultery (no adultery was committed during the making of this book,) temptations, prayer, virtue, violence, computers, censoring, the soul, idolatry, paganism, substance abuse, vanity, food, fidelity, fame, family, piracy, stupidity, pollution, oil, Darwinism, the quagmire of our war in Iraq, religious tolerance, racism, and such. Then, there are several stories written purely for entertainment, often with twisted endings.
Available on Amazon at
http://www.amazon.com/Dementia-Iyan-Igma-Condensed-Abridged/dp/1442102721/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1246644285&sr=1-3
Creative Writing Handbook - Becoming a Complete WriterThe Free School
This book is for and about amazing you. It contains three main parts beyond this section. The next, ‘Creatives’ and ‘Control’ explores each notion separately. Part three examines
the all-important G-forces: Grail and Grails. Discussions in this chapter underpin the thematic title and core pursuit of this book – aiding writers to identify and tightly define
the core goal or goals that they desire to realize from their textual quests and conquests.
Part four explores 17 popular writing genres and provides an original example of each.
Four of these illustrations are first-time attempts by this writer to compose a script in a
foreign discipline that is outside his comfort zone and areas of interest. May these modest,
raw offerings embolden you to likewise experiment at becoming a complete writer.
The penultimate chapter, Part five, explores six topics that may aid writers to answer the
holy grail writer’s question, as defined by this author. These topics in order are: Spelling,
scripts, styles, solo writing, champions (i.e., role models) and circulation.
This book does not aim to teach readers how to develop most technical skills required of
competent writers. Open-access and commercial literature available on these topics are
mature. Engaging these topics are best served by a medley of resources such as
handbooks, video presentations, college curricula and years of dedicated writing practice.
The concluding part of most sections and each chapter is titled ‘Further reading’. These parts offer one or two open-access resources that explore material discussed in that
section/chapter in further detail. The principal pursuit of this book aims to help you to
identify the core goal/s that may motivate you to be the best writer possible in your
chosen fields. There is a dearth of literature that unravels this all-important journey.
This book is suitable for informal educational settings and structured teaching
environments. It may support writers of all skill levels who thrive from learning solo, in
groups or a mixture thereof. It may also guide Creative Writing Professors who teach applied education courses at all levels – from certificate to Graduate-level coursework.
Designing Intelligent Content: A Writer's GuideNiki Blaker
Content is so much more than text. We all know that. But for most of us, visual design isn’t our first language. In this presentation, you’ll learn how to support your content with great visual design when you don’t have the time or ability to work in tandem with a design strategist.
Designed and presented by Niki Blaker and Patricia Tompkins.
----------------
Additional resources:
Adobe Kuler color wheel: https://kuler.adobe.com/create/color-wheel
Colour Lovers: http://www.colourlovers.com
The Non-Designer's Design Book by Robin Williams: http://amzn.to/RNlv7r
Thinking with Type by Ellen Lupton: http://amzn.to/1jEfTqS
PHX Startup Week - Designing Intelligent Content for EntrepreneursNiki Blaker
Ideas and business plans are so much more than text. But for most of us, visual design isn’t our first language. In this presentation, you’ll learn how to support your content with great visual design when you don’t have the time or ability to work in tandem with a design strategist.
As presented at Phoenix Startup Week: http://phoenix.startupweek.co/
This document provides a lengthy personal anecdote from the author about their most memorable Thanksgiving. It describes the author's family traditions of celebrating at multiple relatives' homes and overeating. It then details how the author and their mother celebrated Thanksgiving on a cruise ship, where their mother charmed the captain but he unexpectedly came on to the author. Their mother then organized a talent show performance reenacting the first Thanksgiving, even though the author was intoxicated and had to improvise the script.
The document discusses various quotes related to the themes of fear, courage, strength, friends, family, children and adults. It contains over 50 quotes from movies, books, songs and other sources on these topics. The quotes provide perspectives on developing courage in the face of fear, the importance of love and strength, maintaining true friendships, the challenges of family relationships, and insights into childhood versus adulthood.
Fabulous Openings: How to Keep Them Reading Past the First PageMelanie Rigney
Why are openings so critical? While the plot is critical, if you don't draw the reader in on the first page, the plot will never be considered. Don't just set the scene; give them a reason to keep reading. Tips and GREAT opening paragraphs await you ...
This document appears to be an autobiographical novel detailing the author's struggles with alcoholism. It begins by introducing the main character as he has just been made redundant from his job, which may help him reduce his drinking. The story then transitions back to the author's teenage years, describing his first drinking experiences at a local pub as a 16-year-old. It also covers obtaining independence through a moped and hints at abnormal thoughts. Overall, the document provides background on the author's early life and the onset of his alcohol use.
These 267 poems and 23 short stories and satires deal with subjects such as God, love, faith, nature, life, corruption (politics,) global warming, depression, marriage, adultery (no adultery was committed during the making of this book,) temptations, prayer, virtue, violence, computers, censoring, the soul, idolatry, paganism, substance abuse, vanity, food, fidelity, fame, family, piracy, stupidity, pollution, oil, Darwinism, the quagmire of our war in Iraq, religious tolerance, racism, and such. Then, there are several stories written purely for entertainment, often with twisted endings.
Available on Amazon at
http://www.amazon.com/Dementia-Iyan-Igma-Condensed-Abridged/dp/1442102721/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1246644285&sr=1-3
Creative Writing Handbook - Becoming a Complete WriterThe Free School
This book is for and about amazing you. It contains three main parts beyond this section. The next, ‘Creatives’ and ‘Control’ explores each notion separately. Part three examines
the all-important G-forces: Grail and Grails. Discussions in this chapter underpin the thematic title and core pursuit of this book – aiding writers to identify and tightly define
the core goal or goals that they desire to realize from their textual quests and conquests.
Part four explores 17 popular writing genres and provides an original example of each.
Four of these illustrations are first-time attempts by this writer to compose a script in a
foreign discipline that is outside his comfort zone and areas of interest. May these modest,
raw offerings embolden you to likewise experiment at becoming a complete writer.
The penultimate chapter, Part five, explores six topics that may aid writers to answer the
holy grail writer’s question, as defined by this author. These topics in order are: Spelling,
scripts, styles, solo writing, champions (i.e., role models) and circulation.
This book does not aim to teach readers how to develop most technical skills required of
competent writers. Open-access and commercial literature available on these topics are
mature. Engaging these topics are best served by a medley of resources such as
handbooks, video presentations, college curricula and years of dedicated writing practice.
The concluding part of most sections and each chapter is titled ‘Further reading’. These parts offer one or two open-access resources that explore material discussed in that
section/chapter in further detail. The principal pursuit of this book aims to help you to
identify the core goal/s that may motivate you to be the best writer possible in your
chosen fields. There is a dearth of literature that unravels this all-important journey.
This book is suitable for informal educational settings and structured teaching
environments. It may support writers of all skill levels who thrive from learning solo, in
groups or a mixture thereof. It may also guide Creative Writing Professors who teach applied education courses at all levels – from certificate to Graduate-level coursework.
Designing Intelligent Content: A Writer's GuideNiki Blaker
Content is so much more than text. We all know that. But for most of us, visual design isn’t our first language. In this presentation, you’ll learn how to support your content with great visual design when you don’t have the time or ability to work in tandem with a design strategist.
Designed and presented by Niki Blaker and Patricia Tompkins.
----------------
Additional resources:
Adobe Kuler color wheel: https://kuler.adobe.com/create/color-wheel
Colour Lovers: http://www.colourlovers.com
The Non-Designer's Design Book by Robin Williams: http://amzn.to/RNlv7r
Thinking with Type by Ellen Lupton: http://amzn.to/1jEfTqS
PHX Startup Week - Designing Intelligent Content for EntrepreneursNiki Blaker
Ideas and business plans are so much more than text. But for most of us, visual design isn’t our first language. In this presentation, you’ll learn how to support your content with great visual design when you don’t have the time or ability to work in tandem with a design strategist.
As presented at Phoenix Startup Week: http://phoenix.startupweek.co/
This document provides a lengthy personal anecdote from the author about their most memorable Thanksgiving. It describes the author's family traditions of celebrating at multiple relatives' homes and overeating. It then details how the author and their mother celebrated Thanksgiving on a cruise ship, where their mother charmed the captain but he unexpectedly came on to the author. Their mother then organized a talent show performance reenacting the first Thanksgiving, even though the author was intoxicated and had to improvise the script.
The document discusses various quotes related to the themes of fear, courage, strength, friends, family, children and adults. It contains over 50 quotes from movies, books, songs and other sources on these topics. The quotes provide perspectives on developing courage in the face of fear, the importance of love and strength, maintaining true friendships, the challenges of family relationships, and insights into childhood versus adulthood.
Fabulous Openings: How to Keep Them Reading Past the First PageMelanie Rigney
Why are openings so critical? While the plot is critical, if you don't draw the reader in on the first page, the plot will never be considered. Don't just set the scene; give them a reason to keep reading. Tips and GREAT opening paragraphs await you ...
This document appears to be an autobiographical novel detailing the author's struggles with alcoholism. It begins by introducing the main character as he has just been made redundant from his job, which may help him reduce his drinking. The story then transitions back to the author's teenage years, describing his first drinking experiences at a local pub as a 16-year-old. It also covers obtaining independence through a moped and hints at abnormal thoughts. Overall, the document provides background on the author's early life and the onset of his alcohol use.
This document is the first issue of a zine called LULL. It includes various creative works such as photographs, illustrations, poems, and a short film. The introduction from the Editor-in-Chief discusses the meaning of the zine's name and their vision for featuring a community of artists. The issue contains contributions from over 30 creators and ends with biographies of the contributors.
This document is the March 2013 issue of Graterfriends, a publication of the Pennsylvania Prison Society. It contains articles on restoring fatherhood written by an incarcerated individual, and a call for presidential pardons from another incarcerated individual. It also includes sections about legislative updates, legal matters, announcements and birthdays of incarcerated individuals. The overall focus is on criminal justice reform and issues impacting those who are incarcerated.
Ruth's (u)OWBC #10: Silvered Is The Raven Hairesme iolanthe
This summary provides an overview of the key events in 3 sentences:
The document recaps the events leading up to Old Adam and Myrna's wedding, including Ryan getting electrocuted, the theft of a gnome, and Buttercup getting married. At the wedding, Old Adam slips a faulty love potion into everyone's drinks, causing chaos. Oakapple sacrifices himself to break the spell but is resurrected, and the wedding proceeds with Oliver confessing his feelings for Oakapple.
The sentences arranged in a meaningful paragraph with alphabets in sequence is:
B, D, A, C
Q. No. 2
Arrange the following jumbled sentences in a way so as to make a
meaningful paragraph. Mention the alphabets marked against each sentence
in order as answer.
A. He was a very intelligent boy and always stood first in his class.
B. His teachers were very impressed by his intelligence and hard work.
C. One day, his teacher asked him what he wanted to become when he grew up.
D. He replied that he wanted to become a scientist.
The Ultimate Bucket List: Things to Do Once in a LifetimeIoana Sima
Some people are so obsessed with making money or working that they completely forget to live their lives. We believe that one should cherish and live life to the fullest. Here is a collection of things to do once in a lifetime. The complete Bucket List can be found here:
http://tenmania.com/bucket-list-things-do-once-lifetime/
The list of things to do once in a lifetime can actually go on forever, as every person out there has his or her own bucket list and his or her personal wishes and secret desires. Why 300, you may ask? Why not 1000, we can ask you back, as life is full of opportunities to do whatever you wish, to follow your dreams and challenge your inner self.
Feel free to add your own items to the bucket list. Let's make it grow together! What would you like to do from the items listed in the presentation?
The author takes a road trip from Atlanta to Roberta, Georgia with Hugh McGraw and Charlene Wallace to attend one of Oscar McGuire's monthly sacred harp singing schools. During the trip, Hugh McGraw nearly gets into an accident passing a truck but arrives safely. At the singing school, the author learns more about the principles of sacred harp music. On the return trip, the author interviews Hugh McGraw and learns details about his compositions and songwriting process.
Ignite! Facebook the Fear of Losing Attention - A social network noirDr Mariann Hardey
My talk for Ignite Newcastle, Global Ignite Week and O'Reily Media.
A femme fatal experiences the best and worst of Facebook attentions. A hardboiled noir for our modern times.
Shawn Alff is a 33-year-old writer from Austin, Texas. He began writing in 2005 after graduating with an English degree. Alff writes fiction stories and does PR work for adult entertainers. He runs a blog called "Literary Smut Peddler" where he posts chapters from his novels and interviews with porn stars. Alff enjoys the life experiences he gains from writing and hearing feedback from readers. While writing can be difficult, he is motivated by validating responses to his work. Alff advised the blogger to understand their goals and let that shape what they write.
In the poem "Soliloquy of the Spanish Cloister" by Robert Browning, the speaker's character is revealed through his dramatic monologue. Browning uses vivid language and mocking imagery to show the speaker's deep hatred for Brother Lawrence. The speaker criticizes Lawrence's actions in a petty and hypocritical manner, revealing his own corrupted nature despite accusing Lawrence of immorality. Through the dramatic monologue form, Browning allows the reader to judge the speaker as harshly as he judges Brother Lawrence.
The document provides three examples of passages that use vivid descriptive details effectively:
1) A passage from Thomas Macauley describes Samuel Johnson eating voraciously in a way that uses disgusting details to vividly portray his eating habits.
2) A passage from Alberto Alvaro Rios uses specific details about an old man's face turning purple and his wrinkles disappearing when he plays the tuba to intensely focus the scene.
3) A passage from Arthur Miller uses unflattering details about J.P. Morgan in a Turkish bath to effectively illustrate the point that not everyone needs to be well-liked. The document discusses how these passages use details to immerse the reader, contrast ideas
This document provides excerpts from lesson plans on discovering voice in middle and high school writing. The excerpts focus on diction, detail, and other literary devices. They include short passages from novels followed by discussion questions that ask students to analyze the author's word choices and how they impact meaning and create vivid mental images for the reader. The questions also prompt students to experiment with these devices in their own writing.
Publication Date: August 19, 2016
PreOrder Today! https://goo.gl/egiSRx
When was the last time you got a love letter? When was the last time you wrote a love letter? Now that writing love letters is a lost art, what better gift can you give the one you love than an old-fashioned, authentic, hand written, love letter! The purpose of this book is twofold. One, it shares some of the most romantic love letters ever written. They act as a model to help you express your love in a profound and personal way that your partner wil treasure for the rest of their life.
But first, what is love? In the year 2012, that phrase - what is love -, was the most researched phrase on Google. Five writers from diverse backgrounds tried to define what love is. The five people were a physicist, a psychotherapist, a philosopher, a romantic novelist, and a nun.
The answers they gave were eloquent, convincing, and yes, diverse. The nun said that love is a paradox. “Love is free yet binds us.” The romantic novelist said that love is everything. The philosopher said that love is a passionate commitment. The psychotherapist identified six different types of love and said that it is unlikely to experience all six types with only one person. And the physicist? He said that “love is chemistry.”
So what is love? In this book, I have tried to show love that is as diverse as the five authors above have defined it. I also try to show love that meets the precise definition that Paul gives in his first letter to the Corinthians, below:
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” ~ The First Letter of Paul To The Corinthians 13:4-8
This document provides an overview and analysis of the biblical book Song of Songs (Song of Solomon). It discusses differing interpretations of the text, including whether it should be read literally or allegorically. There is no consensus on authorship, meaning, or purpose. The document also examines arguments for and against interpreting it as a story about God's love for Israel versus a celebration of human romantic and physical love within marriage. Commentators disagree on details like who the speakers are and what scenario the text depicts. Overall, the document explores the complexity of interpreting this biblical text.
No one respects people who do half-hearted work. We want to work with people who care about their jobs and put their heart and soul into it. Such persons gain the respect of people, never loses a job and who are, paradoxically, often the happiest in everything they do.
The document is a collection of poems that address themes of racism and racial division. It describes racism as a subtle sin that causes people to lose their soul. It criticizes racial segregation in churches and society. One poem tells the story of oppression from the perspective of "Mother Africa" and calls for acknowledging the wrongs of the past. Another poem criticizes black people who verbally abuse others and use racist labels, arguing they are enabling racism. The collection promotes the message that all people are part of one human race.
This document provides advice on how to politely "unfriend" someone on Facebook without hurting their feelings. It references Jane Austen's Emma, noting how Emma politely preserves her manners while finding a way out of continually interacting with Mr. Elton, whose attention she finds annoying. The passage suggests following Emma's example by remaining polite while disengaging, as directly deleting the person could cause offense. Maintaining proper etiquette and politeness is important, as hurt feelings should be avoided.
Short Personal Essay Examples. 10 Personal EssKristen Flores
The document outlines 5 steps for seeking writing help from an online service, including creating an account, providing assignment details in an order form, having writers bid on the request, choosing a writer, and reviewing and authorizing payment for the completed work if satisfied with the results. Revisions are available and plagiarized work results in a full refund according to the service's guarantee of original, high-quality content.
1 shitty first drafts anne lamott from bird by bird SUKHI5
Lamott argues that most writers do not sit down feeling confident and write elegant first drafts. Rather, writers need to let themselves write "shitty first drafts" to get their ideas out, knowing that no one will see it. This messy first draft allows writers to explore ideas freely and often leads to discovering something great. Lamott shares her own experience of writing terrible first drafts for her food reviews before reworking them into publishable pieces. She emphasizes that almost all good writing starts with terrible first efforts and one needs to start somewhere by getting anything down on paper.
This document provides instructions for classwork on analyzing autobiographical narratives. Students are asked to have various supplies and homework ready. The document reviews the characteristics of narratives, including point of view, specific incident, reflective nature, theme, voice and tone. Students analyze short texts and complete charts identifying these elements. Homework includes writing letters to teachers and studying for a quiz on narrative characteristics. The class will recap autobiographical stories read and discuss favorite portrayals of each characteristic.
1 Shitty First Drafts Anne Lamott from Bird by Bird .docxmonicafrancis71118
1
Shitty First Drafts
Anne Lamott from Bird by Bird
Born in San Francisco in 1954, Anne Lamott is a graduate of Goucher College
in Baltimore and is the author of six novels, including Rosie (1983), Crooked Little
Heart (1997), All New People (2000), and Blue Shoes (2002). She has also been the
food reviewer for California magazine, a book reviewer for Mademoiselle, and a
regular contributor to Salon’s “Mothers Who Think.” Her nonfiction books include
Operating Instructions: A Journal of My Son’s First Year (1993), in which she
describes her adventures as a single parent, and Tender Mercies: Some Thoughts on
Faith (1999), in which she charts her journey toward faith in God.
In the following selection, taken from Lamott’s popular book about writing,
Bird by Bird (1994), she argues for the need to let go and write those “shitty first
drafts” that lead to clarity and sometimes brilliance in our second and third drafts.
1 Now, practically even better news than that of short assignments is the idea of
shitty first drafts. All good writers write them. This is how they end up with good
second drafts and terrific third drafts. People tend to look at successful writers who
are getting their books published and maybe even doing well financially and think
that they sit down at their desks every morning feeling like a million dollars, feeling
great about who they are and how much talent they have and what a great story they
have to tell; that they take in a few deep breaths, push back their sleeves, roll their
necks a few times to get all the cricks out, and dive in, typing fully formed passages
as fast as a court reporter. But this is just the fantasy of the uninitiated. I know some
very great writers, writers you love who write beautifully and have made a great deal
of money, and not one of them sits down routinely feeling wildly enthusiastic and
confident. Not one of them writes elegant first drafts. All right, one of them does, but
we do not like her very much. We do not think that she has a rich inner life or that
God likes her or can even stand her. (Although when I mentioned this to my priest
friend Tom, he said you can safely assume you've created God in your own image
when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.)
2 Very few writers really know what they are doing until they've done it. Nor do
they go about their business feeling dewy and thrilled. They do not type a few stiff
warm-up sentences and then find themselves bounding along like huskies across the
snow. One writer I know tells me that he sits down every morning and says to
himself nicely, "It's not like you don't have a choice, because you do -- you can
either type, or kill yourself." We all often feel like we are pulling teeth, even those
writers whose prose ends up being the most natural and fluid. The right words and
sentences just do not come pouring out like ticker tape most of the time. Now,
Muriel Spark is said to have fel.
This document provides 10 tips for becoming a writer from the author's experience. The tips include publishing your writing, setting deadlines, learning storytelling, reading widely, learning constantly while becoming an expert in nothing, stealing or being inspired by other writers, facing difficult realities without looking away, enduring the frustrations of the writing process, surrounding yourself with other creative people, and consistently writing daily. The author shares some challenges and struggles they faced on their writing journey in order to inspire and help others to become writers. They invite the reader to join a program to help transition from aspiring to daily writers.
This document provides instructions for an assignment exploring the life and works of Edgar Allan Poe through an interactive website. Students are asked to complete several activities on the site, including filling out an organizer with biographical details of Poe's life from an interactive timeline, solving an interactive mystery about the circumstances of Poe's death, annotating and analyzing his poem "The Raven", and creating their own annotated reading of his short story "The Tell-Tale Heart" by adding thoughts and comments. They are to submit some of their work from the activities to their teacher via email.
This document is the first issue of a zine called LULL. It includes various creative works such as photographs, illustrations, poems, and a short film. The introduction from the Editor-in-Chief discusses the meaning of the zine's name and their vision for featuring a community of artists. The issue contains contributions from over 30 creators and ends with biographies of the contributors.
This document is the March 2013 issue of Graterfriends, a publication of the Pennsylvania Prison Society. It contains articles on restoring fatherhood written by an incarcerated individual, and a call for presidential pardons from another incarcerated individual. It also includes sections about legislative updates, legal matters, announcements and birthdays of incarcerated individuals. The overall focus is on criminal justice reform and issues impacting those who are incarcerated.
Ruth's (u)OWBC #10: Silvered Is The Raven Hairesme iolanthe
This summary provides an overview of the key events in 3 sentences:
The document recaps the events leading up to Old Adam and Myrna's wedding, including Ryan getting electrocuted, the theft of a gnome, and Buttercup getting married. At the wedding, Old Adam slips a faulty love potion into everyone's drinks, causing chaos. Oakapple sacrifices himself to break the spell but is resurrected, and the wedding proceeds with Oliver confessing his feelings for Oakapple.
The sentences arranged in a meaningful paragraph with alphabets in sequence is:
B, D, A, C
Q. No. 2
Arrange the following jumbled sentences in a way so as to make a
meaningful paragraph. Mention the alphabets marked against each sentence
in order as answer.
A. He was a very intelligent boy and always stood first in his class.
B. His teachers were very impressed by his intelligence and hard work.
C. One day, his teacher asked him what he wanted to become when he grew up.
D. He replied that he wanted to become a scientist.
The Ultimate Bucket List: Things to Do Once in a LifetimeIoana Sima
Some people are so obsessed with making money or working that they completely forget to live their lives. We believe that one should cherish and live life to the fullest. Here is a collection of things to do once in a lifetime. The complete Bucket List can be found here:
http://tenmania.com/bucket-list-things-do-once-lifetime/
The list of things to do once in a lifetime can actually go on forever, as every person out there has his or her own bucket list and his or her personal wishes and secret desires. Why 300, you may ask? Why not 1000, we can ask you back, as life is full of opportunities to do whatever you wish, to follow your dreams and challenge your inner self.
Feel free to add your own items to the bucket list. Let's make it grow together! What would you like to do from the items listed in the presentation?
The author takes a road trip from Atlanta to Roberta, Georgia with Hugh McGraw and Charlene Wallace to attend one of Oscar McGuire's monthly sacred harp singing schools. During the trip, Hugh McGraw nearly gets into an accident passing a truck but arrives safely. At the singing school, the author learns more about the principles of sacred harp music. On the return trip, the author interviews Hugh McGraw and learns details about his compositions and songwriting process.
Ignite! Facebook the Fear of Losing Attention - A social network noirDr Mariann Hardey
My talk for Ignite Newcastle, Global Ignite Week and O'Reily Media.
A femme fatal experiences the best and worst of Facebook attentions. A hardboiled noir for our modern times.
Shawn Alff is a 33-year-old writer from Austin, Texas. He began writing in 2005 after graduating with an English degree. Alff writes fiction stories and does PR work for adult entertainers. He runs a blog called "Literary Smut Peddler" where he posts chapters from his novels and interviews with porn stars. Alff enjoys the life experiences he gains from writing and hearing feedback from readers. While writing can be difficult, he is motivated by validating responses to his work. Alff advised the blogger to understand their goals and let that shape what they write.
In the poem "Soliloquy of the Spanish Cloister" by Robert Browning, the speaker's character is revealed through his dramatic monologue. Browning uses vivid language and mocking imagery to show the speaker's deep hatred for Brother Lawrence. The speaker criticizes Lawrence's actions in a petty and hypocritical manner, revealing his own corrupted nature despite accusing Lawrence of immorality. Through the dramatic monologue form, Browning allows the reader to judge the speaker as harshly as he judges Brother Lawrence.
The document provides three examples of passages that use vivid descriptive details effectively:
1) A passage from Thomas Macauley describes Samuel Johnson eating voraciously in a way that uses disgusting details to vividly portray his eating habits.
2) A passage from Alberto Alvaro Rios uses specific details about an old man's face turning purple and his wrinkles disappearing when he plays the tuba to intensely focus the scene.
3) A passage from Arthur Miller uses unflattering details about J.P. Morgan in a Turkish bath to effectively illustrate the point that not everyone needs to be well-liked. The document discusses how these passages use details to immerse the reader, contrast ideas
This document provides excerpts from lesson plans on discovering voice in middle and high school writing. The excerpts focus on diction, detail, and other literary devices. They include short passages from novels followed by discussion questions that ask students to analyze the author's word choices and how they impact meaning and create vivid mental images for the reader. The questions also prompt students to experiment with these devices in their own writing.
Publication Date: August 19, 2016
PreOrder Today! https://goo.gl/egiSRx
When was the last time you got a love letter? When was the last time you wrote a love letter? Now that writing love letters is a lost art, what better gift can you give the one you love than an old-fashioned, authentic, hand written, love letter! The purpose of this book is twofold. One, it shares some of the most romantic love letters ever written. They act as a model to help you express your love in a profound and personal way that your partner wil treasure for the rest of their life.
But first, what is love? In the year 2012, that phrase - what is love -, was the most researched phrase on Google. Five writers from diverse backgrounds tried to define what love is. The five people were a physicist, a psychotherapist, a philosopher, a romantic novelist, and a nun.
The answers they gave were eloquent, convincing, and yes, diverse. The nun said that love is a paradox. “Love is free yet binds us.” The romantic novelist said that love is everything. The philosopher said that love is a passionate commitment. The psychotherapist identified six different types of love and said that it is unlikely to experience all six types with only one person. And the physicist? He said that “love is chemistry.”
So what is love? In this book, I have tried to show love that is as diverse as the five authors above have defined it. I also try to show love that meets the precise definition that Paul gives in his first letter to the Corinthians, below:
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1 shitty first drafts anne lamott from bird by bird SUKHI5
Lamott argues that most writers do not sit down feeling confident and write elegant first drafts. Rather, writers need to let themselves write "shitty first drafts" to get their ideas out, knowing that no one will see it. This messy first draft allows writers to explore ideas freely and often leads to discovering something great. Lamott shares her own experience of writing terrible first drafts for her food reviews before reworking them into publishable pieces. She emphasizes that almost all good writing starts with terrible first efforts and one needs to start somewhere by getting anything down on paper.
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1 Shitty First Drafts Anne Lamott from Bird by Bird .docxmonicafrancis71118
1
Shitty First Drafts
Anne Lamott from Bird by Bird
Born in San Francisco in 1954, Anne Lamott is a graduate of Goucher College
in Baltimore and is the author of six novels, including Rosie (1983), Crooked Little
Heart (1997), All New People (2000), and Blue Shoes (2002). She has also been the
food reviewer for California magazine, a book reviewer for Mademoiselle, and a
regular contributor to Salon’s “Mothers Who Think.” Her nonfiction books include
Operating Instructions: A Journal of My Son’s First Year (1993), in which she
describes her adventures as a single parent, and Tender Mercies: Some Thoughts on
Faith (1999), in which she charts her journey toward faith in God.
In the following selection, taken from Lamott’s popular book about writing,
Bird by Bird (1994), she argues for the need to let go and write those “shitty first
drafts” that lead to clarity and sometimes brilliance in our second and third drafts.
1 Now, practically even better news than that of short assignments is the idea of
shitty first drafts. All good writers write them. This is how they end up with good
second drafts and terrific third drafts. People tend to look at successful writers who
are getting their books published and maybe even doing well financially and think
that they sit down at their desks every morning feeling like a million dollars, feeling
great about who they are and how much talent they have and what a great story they
have to tell; that they take in a few deep breaths, push back their sleeves, roll their
necks a few times to get all the cricks out, and dive in, typing fully formed passages
as fast as a court reporter. But this is just the fantasy of the uninitiated. I know some
very great writers, writers you love who write beautifully and have made a great deal
of money, and not one of them sits down routinely feeling wildly enthusiastic and
confident. Not one of them writes elegant first drafts. All right, one of them does, but
we do not like her very much. We do not think that she has a rich inner life or that
God likes her or can even stand her. (Although when I mentioned this to my priest
friend Tom, he said you can safely assume you've created God in your own image
when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.)
2 Very few writers really know what they are doing until they've done it. Nor do
they go about their business feeling dewy and thrilled. They do not type a few stiff
warm-up sentences and then find themselves bounding along like huskies across the
snow. One writer I know tells me that he sits down every morning and says to
himself nicely, "It's not like you don't have a choice, because you do -- you can
either type, or kill yourself." We all often feel like we are pulling teeth, even those
writers whose prose ends up being the most natural and fluid. The right words and
sentences just do not come pouring out like ticker tape most of the time. Now,
Muriel Spark is said to have fel.
This document provides 10 tips for becoming a writer from the author's experience. The tips include publishing your writing, setting deadlines, learning storytelling, reading widely, learning constantly while becoming an expert in nothing, stealing or being inspired by other writers, facing difficult realities without looking away, enduring the frustrations of the writing process, surrounding yourself with other creative people, and consistently writing daily. The author shares some challenges and struggles they faced on their writing journey in order to inspire and help others to become writers. They invite the reader to join a program to help transition from aspiring to daily writers.
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2. Complete a 10-minute order form providing instructions, sources, and deadline for the paper.
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George Orwell explains the four main motives that drive writers: (1) egoism and desire for fame, (2) aesthetic enthusiasm for language and storytelling, (3) the historical impulse to uncover facts, and (4) political purpose to change society. As a child, Orwell engaged in extensive imaginary storytelling and worked on various unsuccessful poems and stories. He was drawn to descriptive writing styles and wanted to write large naturalistic novels. His experiences in Burma and later poverty influenced his political views and pushed him towards writing pamphlets.
interview pieces is a small edition book-work. Using the physical act of page turning the assemblege becomes a structured composition of uttered items. It explores the Interview as a commodification of spontaneous speech, an illusion of access to presence. Referencing famous interviews from history 'interview pieces' plays with the iterability of language and its abilty to decentre meaning.
Published by www.regolithworks.com
The document discusses the steps to request writing assistance from HelpWriting.net:
1. Create an account with a password and email.
2. Complete a 10-minute order form providing instructions, sources, deadline, and attaching a sample for style imitation.
3. Review bids from writers and choose one based on qualifications, history, and feedback, then pay a deposit to start.
4. Review the paper and authorize full payment or request revisions if needed, as free revisions are provided.
The document provides advice on various aspects of writing, including:
- Cultivating cultural literacy and understanding your audience.
- Addressing the right audience and understanding context.
- American English being a blend of many languages rather than "pure."
- The importance of grammar, spelling, punctuation, and understanding various punctuation marks.
- Writing about what you know and telling your own stories.
- Developing style through understanding rules of grammar.
- Not being afraid to speak your truth.
The book review summarizes the novel To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee. It describes the story, which is set in 1935 Alabama and told from the perspective of the young protagonist Scout. The review highlights Scout's vivid narration and the complex issues of racial intolerance explored in the story. It praises the realistic characters, including Scout's father Atticus Finch and their mysterious neighbor Boo Radley. The review concludes by encouraging readers to experience the compelling story and jury's verdict for themselves.
This document summarizes the steps to request writing assistance from the website HelpWriting.net. It involves:
1. Creating an account with a password and email.
2. Completing a 10-minute order form providing instructions, sources, deadline, and optionally attaching a sample of your writing.
3. Reviewing bids from writers and choosing one based on qualifications, history, and feedback. Placing a deposit to start the assignment.
4. Reviewing the completed paper and authorizing final payment if satisfied, or requesting revisions using their free revision policy.
11 What I have learned to do when I sit down to work on a shitty.docxhyacinthshackley2629
11 What I have learned to do when I sit down to work on a shitty first draft is to quiet the voices in my head. First there is the vinegar-lipped Reader Lady, who says primly, “Well, that’s not very interesting, is it?” And there is the emaciated German male who writes these Orwellian memos detailing your thought crimes. And there are your parents, agonizing over your lack of loyalty and discretion; and there’s William Burroughs, dozing off or shooting up because he finds you as bold and articulate as a houseplant; and so on. And there are also the dogs: let’s not forget the dogs, the dogs in their pen who will surely hurtle and snarl their way out if you ever stop writing, because writing is, for some of us, the latch that keeps the door of the pen closed, keeps those crazy ravenous dogs contained.
12 Quieting these voices is at least half the battle I fight daily. But this is better than it used to be. It used to be 87 percent. Left to its own devices, my mind spends much of its time having conversations with people who aren’t there. I walk along defending myself to people, or exchanging repartee with them, or rationalizing my behavior, or seducing them with gossip, or pretending I’m on their TV talk show or whatever. I speed or run an aging yellow light or don’t come to full stop, and one nanosecond later am explaining to imaginary cops exactly what I had to do what I did, or insight that I did not in fact do it.
13 I happened to mention this to hypnotist I saw many years ago, and he looked at me very nicely. At first I thought he was feeling around on the floor for the silent alarm button, but then he gave me the following exercise, which I still use to this day.
14 Close your eyes and get quite for a minute, until the chatter starts up. Then isolate one of the voices and imagine the person speaking as a mouse. Pick it up by the tail and drop it into a mason jar. Then isolate another voice, pick it up by the tail, drop it in the jar. And so on. Drop in any high maintenance parental units, drop in any contractors, lawyers, colleagues, children, anyone who is whining in your head. Then put the lid on, and watch all these mouse people clawing at the glass, jabbering away, trying to make you feel like shit because you won’t do what they want—won’t give them more money, won’t be more successful, won’t see them more often. Then imagine that there is a volume-control button on the bottle. Turn it all the way up for a minute, and listen to the stream of angry, neglected, guilt mongering voice. Then turn it all the way down and watch the frantic mice lunge at the glass, trying to get to you. Leave it down, and get back to your shitty first draft.
15 A writer friend of mine suggests opening the jar and shooting them all in the head. But I think he’s a little angry, and I’m sure nothing like this would ever occur to you.
1
Shitty First Drafts
Anne Lamott from Bird by Bird
Born in San Francisco in 1954, Anne Lamott is a graduate of Gouc.
Little Ghosts Writing Paper FREE 2Nd Grade Writing,Michelle Shaw
This document provides instructions for requesting writing assistance from the website HelpWriting.net. It outlines a 5-step process: 1) Create an account with a password and email. 2) Complete a 10-minute order form with instructions, sources, and deadline. 3) Review bids from writers and choose one. 4) Review the completed paper and authorize payment. 5) Request revisions until satisfied. The summary emphasizes that the service aims to provide original, high-quality content and offers refunds for plagiarism.
Pin On Thanksgiving At School. Online assignment writing service.Kelly Flores
This document provides instructions for requesting and receiving writing assistance from the website HelpWriting.net. It outlines a 5-step process: 1) Create an account with a password and email. 2) Complete a 10-minute order form providing instructions, sources, and deadline. 3) Review bids from writers and select one. 4) Receive the paper and authorize payment if satisfied. 5) Request revisions to ensure satisfaction, with the option of a full refund for plagiarized work. The document promises original, high-quality content.
Week 6 Homework problems
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9a
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7b
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9c
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9d
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10a
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Memo of Introduction
September 20, 2000
To:
Business Communication Students
From:
Kitty O. Locker
Subject:
Kitty O'Donnell Locker on September 20, 2000
I'm looking forward to this quarter. I'm ending three years as a journal editor, and I hope to have time not only to teach well but also to do some of my own work and plant bulbs. I may not get all of that done, but I'm looking forward to ending a responsibility that has made life almost impossibly busy. I feel more relaxed than I have in a long time.
Background Information
I was born in Wyoming, grew up in Kentucky, attended DePauw University in Indiana, and did my graduate work at the University of Illinois. After earning my PhD, I taught at Texas A&M University for a year and at Illinois for seven years before coming to Ohio State in 1985. In 1990, I received tenure and promotion to associate professor.
Although I got into business communication by accident, I have stayed in it by design. The field has been good to me. I've been very active in the Association for Business Communication; my textbook, Business and Administrative Communication, is the number 1 book in the United States. My research areas include the history of business communication, negative messages, collaborative writing, and the writing of factory workers. In January 1999, I finally published a project that I began in 1976 on reader responses to negative messages. My other decades-long project is a study of the correspondence of the British East India Company (1600-1858). In The Development of the Faceless Bureaucrat, I trace the evolution of bureaucratic writing in the first two centuries of the Company's correspondence and argue that the basic causes of bureaucratic writing are psychological, not rhetorical. I laid the East India project aside (not for the first time) to work on another textbook that will come out this December. But in 2001, I actually hope to finish revising the East India book and get it off to a publisher. I'm finishing three years of editing The Journal of Business Communication (JBC), which has been satisfying but very time-consuming. I'm looking forward to doing some of my own work.
I've been fortunate in my personal life, too. In August, Bob Mills and I celebrated our 19th wedding anniversary (in Nikko, Japan--a beautiful place). When I met Bob (in a disco dance class!), I was divorced and felt dubious about marriage. With Bob, I've learned that a man and a woman can communicate openly, that conflicts can be resolved, and that resolution produces intimacy. In a world with so many unhappy marriages, I feel fortunate to be part of a strong one. I don't believe that people need to confront the world in matched pairs, like bookends, but it feels very good to love and be loved and to be part of a learning, growing, supportive relationship.
Business Communication Students
2
.
Will Andrew was an ordinary teenage boy five years ago who had the dream of becoming a musician. He signed his first professional contract and recalled feeling on top of the world in that moment. Though he dropped out of college, disappointing his mother, he pursued his passion for music. He recorded his first professional album in an amazing studio experience. The album, called "Rags 2 Riche$" reflects his journey from humble beginnings to success. He will now tour England in hopes of furthering his career.
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4. A Work of Stupidity and Senseless Nonsense
Commonly Derided and Labeled
Slightly Demented.
Having Now Been Lost To The Author For Years, They Are As
The Repressed Memor ies
of
Iyan Igma
A gestalt work.
6. A Note From 7 Years Later
When I wrote these things, it was in a dark period of my life spanning from
about the end of my sixteenth to the beginning of my eighteenth years. I'd had some misfor
tunate encounters with death, health, love, stress, hypocrisy, and depression. I'd read the
Bible and the classics a few times by then.
After overcoming this depression, I later grew disgusted with this work. My copy
I burned, along with the unfinished manuscripts to nine novels of a series that I was
working on, some journals, and other writings. I did not wish to remember that time of my
life. Perhaps it can now be said that there can never be a Complete Works of Iyan Igma,
since most of the original ones have been destroyed. It seemed as if this work was to be lost
forever, as few copies were ever made. One was given to my teacher, Mrs. Buck , though I
am uncertain how much of it she has, or if it still exists. Another continued with my fam
ily, though it met its untimely demise when the basement flooded. The sonnets and possibly
some other excerpts were given to Katrine Templeman, though their continued existence is
dubious. Perhaps Chris Shaffer, Brandon Cox, and Calvin Barefoot have copies or parts of
it.
The copy that this was taken from was the 5 th Draft of Slightly Demented,
which was given to my friends Pat and Eugene Parker. We had lost contact over the years,
and this work was as lost to me as their friendship. My mother had asked me if I still had
a copy of a particular poem, “Waylay,” and I was fortunate enough that I finally heard
from Pat about the same time in December 2007. After visiting with them for a while on
Christmas Eve, 2007, I took the work home and began to retype it feverishly. I had not re
alized how much I had written. Nor did I realize how much my style has remained con
stant, and which themes would be unwittingly revisited in the last month of 2007 and first
6 weeks of 2008, as I wrote the majority of my new collection of poems and short stories,
known as The Dementia of Iyan Igma. I was pleased to see what I would call some matu
rity and improvement in my later work.
Some parts are embarrassing, since I'm more of a Puritan than the Deist I used
to be. Many parts are amazing to read. I wrote that when I was 16?
Oh, as a note, I didn't drink or do drugs at that time, and I cursed about as
much, though this would probably not be reflected this work. It is clear that I was a youth
in this, just look at the themes. Many parts were written for laughs, as is explained later.
Several reference the Navy, which I was scheduled to join. Some, such as “Bombardment,”
are striking to me now, since they were written long before this post 9/11 mess.
In the process of retyping this, I have only fixed the most essential errors. I have
let the punctuation, grammar, and contrived words remain, since most were largely placed
there purposefully in the beginning. The work will be almost as raw as the original draft,
and hopefully I've introduced few typos in the process. I took out a redundant chapter
page for the poems. The font has been changed. But over all it remains as intact as it was
when I created it for the purposes that I described seven years ago on the following page.
7. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma
Pat and Eugene's copy will remain as the standard to judge the accuracy of this work by, and this
edition will render their copy a more important possession.
There are far fewer footnotes than The Dementia, so use the glossary. There are some nice
Easter eggs in it.
This abridged version of Repressed Memories is meant for more of a general audience, if
that term could be said to apply. Several of the poems, many of the BSides, the autobiographical in
formation, and a few of the prose works have been removed. Why? Because, simply put, they were
horrible or unfit for consumption. Once you read the following works, you will start to wonder ex
actly how horrible they were. After all, could it really get any worse than what is already found
printed here?
ENTRIES
Poems: 354
Prose: 75
BSides: 40
Words: 86,536±
The following were removed:
Count, Comte, Earl; Lemon Dependence; Living with a Toe Nail; Kernel; Strange Things with
Camels; Atnalta; Atnalta Revisited; Brian Johnson; The Creatively Named SAT; Tylenol BM; The
Untouchables Commercial; Roller coaster; Crazy; Sinning Out; Speed; High Contrast Twins; The
Dog; Kick me; Broom Sweeper; The Penguinnun; Crashing; Starting; O; Angle of Depression; Plum
met; Crying; Rabid Scabied Chihuahua dog; Holy Rollers; Vultures and Condors; Chaste; Naked
Mole Rat; 1 and 1 and 1 is 3; The Smell of Fresh Rubber; The Third Friend on the Outside; Treat
Ladies...; The Quiet Before the Storm; In Sweden There Are No Tow Truck Drivers; most of the Re
ally Awful One Liners; and some of the Some Less Than Interesting Thoughts....
7
8. On the Nature, Intent, and Audience of These Documents
This collection is not intended for the public at large. It is not intended to create
controversy and thereby sell copies to those who would madly rush to consume it for that
reason alone. It IS for myself, to point as a guide of future reference as to how I thought
at that dark period of my life known as preadulthood, a time that, like the “dark ages” of
Europe, may one day be forgotten like the infant years before it. It is also partially for some
friends and close acquaintances who enjoy some of the stories and such oddities contained
herein. I do not expect them to read all of it. I do not expect them to like all of it. I, myself,
do not like most of it, but it is my thought, as much as I could manage to capture, and I
have some accurséd desire to write and to preserve; a pack rat even of the unspoken.
Some things to keep in mind while reading are that there's quite possibly some
sarcasm and satire, that the usage of “an” is gratuitous and not a typo, and that the “I” in
some poems is rarely Iyan Igma. The poetry should be read aloud and, despite what's been
advised, line by line. Also, to any who reads the following and feels that something within
might be said to address them, then I suppose it does. For even though I maybe mean one
thing, everyone is entitled to interpretation.
I would like to apologize to any reader who may be offended, myself included.
There will doubtless be a passage that will offend anyone who reads far enough and takes
too much of this seriously to mind. My only advice is read any parts you may enjoy, commit
those to memory, and read nothing else. Ignore those that offend. I feel the need to further
apologize for grammatical mistakes, and such; this is meant to be a raw work of feeling
and youth and not a commercial ploy intended for the bedsides of the world to chew like
bubblegum pop. Sadly, there is e'en a small amount of disgusting, poppy nonsense within;
thankfully I am not proficient in its generation. Lamentably, I am skilled in writing sense
less nonsense such as the tripe that will follow and in committing the sin of misspelling.
Granted, most of the misspled words are so by choice, but many do not approve. Due to the
unpolished diction and the topics, Slightly Demented is truly a childish work. But what
could you expect from something with such a title and no true unity of thought?
The audience by age of this is currently about fifteen and up. I know that I
would not want many kids reading this, and, thankfully, certain limitations such as vocab
ulary and experience may block them from full comprehension, should they stumble upon
this eyesore. Again, I would like to apologize for constructing something which, while hav
ing a few good points in my opinion, suffers from the stings of certain obscenities and per
versions. To read this, the poor lads must take the good with the bad, or, if they are lucky,
discover the good in excerpts contained elsewhere. Some teens get a kick from certain collec
tions of phrases, but, as happens, they will not enjoy them as much when older.
To any other reader who happens to pick this up by chance, reference, or, heaven
forbid!, school, may God have mercy upon your soul. I mean that in the nicest possible way;
you do want Him to love you, don't you?
9. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma
Repressed Memories
Poetry....................................................................................................................................22
The Tragically Departed........................................................................................................22
Chapter I Lacking a Sensible Title.......................................................................23
Nature Lover...............................................................................................................................24
Fiend............................................................................................................................................25
Graveyards...................................................................................................................................26
Dear Freud...................................................................................................................................27
Sycamore......................................................................................................................................28
Toilet Seats..................................................................................................................................29
Entrance Exam............................................................................................................................30
Call of the Wild Vikings..............................................................................................................32
Heavily Medicated.......................................................................................................................33
On Monday..................................................................................................................................34
Regularities..................................................................................................................................35
Hypothetices................................................................................................................................36
Nu Mecksìckö..............................................................................................................................37
Donkey on My Thigh...................................................................................................................38
Chapter II Why Angels Scream............................................................................41
The Goodwill of Death................................................................................................................43
The Goodwill of Death (Original)................................................................................................44
The Gunslinger.............................................................................................................................45
Contempt of Court.......................................................................................................................46
Invitation....................................................................................................................................48
Eibmoz.........................................................................................................................................50
Hypocrisy, Revengeance Thereon..................................................................................................51
All Their Wildest Dreams............................................................................................................53
Venules.........................................................................................................................................54
Chapter III As Things Should Be.........................................................................55
Santa Anna and His Elves..........................................................................................................56
About Time..................................................................................................................................58
Let's Burn Venice........................................................................................................................59
Satire Is the Way of Life.............................................................................................................60
9
10. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma
Commit Murder............................................................................................................................61
Medieval Cures............................................................................................................................62
The Origins of the Orthodox Church............................................................................................63
The World Will Get By...............................................................................................................64
Enlightenment.............................................................................................................................65
Fatalist by Nature (Pacifist at Heart).........................................................................................66
The Conquistador's Beard.............................................................................................................67
Stood Up......................................................................................................................................68
A LongWinded Oversight, 12 Lines...........................................................................................69
Gallantly Priceless.......................................................................................................................70
Bitter Cloning, Tragic Mould.......................................................................................................71
A Cool Drink...............................................................................................................................72
Well, Have You?..........................................................................................................................73
Mommas.......................................................................................................................................74
Criticisms and Bitterness.............................................................................................................75
Apology to the Underappreciated................................................................................................76
Chapter IV As Things Are....................................................................................77
On Making Beds..........................................................................................................................78
Nuclear Fiend..............................................................................................................................79
Somewhat Free Verse on Socialism..............................................................................................80
Cliché............................................................................................................................................81
Spangles.......................................................................................................................................82
He Who Said Never.....................................................................................................................83
Lacking Style or Era or Form......................................................................................................84
You've Created.............................................................................................................................85
Everyone Is Changing..................................................................................................................86
No Controversy............................................................................................................................87
PsychoPhysiological Disorder.....................................................................................................88
Warsaw, Romance Therein...........................................................................................................89
Cur...............................................................................................................................................90
Fame............................................................................................................................................91
Consensual Fornications..............................................................................................................92
Portraying Disrespect: an American Scene..................................................................................93
Gnashing Hurt.............................................................................................................................94
Lust Is in Desire..........................................................................................................................95
Bryant Jennings...........................................................................................................................96
A Quiz.........................................................................................................................................97
Oh Fudge.....................................................................................................................................98
10
11. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma
Sickening......................................................................................................................................99
Cinema Trivial............................................................................................................................100
Dark Blue Pride.........................................................................................................................101
Bagels (Lenders).........................................................................................................................102
Bee Ess.......................................................................................................................................103
Face in Curtains.........................................................................................................................104
Eye of the Beholder....................................................................................................................105
When You've Slept.....................................................................................................................107
Bitterness Ruins.........................................................................................................................108
Humility.....................................................................................................................................109
Long, Narratively Sporadic Poems.............................................................................................110
Bringing on Contention.............................................................................................................111
Profitable...................................................................................................................................112
Decaffeinated Blue....................................................................................................................113
The Steel Decanter.....................................................................................................................114
Nylon Pant................................................................................................................................115
Twos...........................................................................................................................................116
Surreal Killer..............................................................................................................................117
Better Vision..............................................................................................................................118
Chapter V Urea...................................................................................................119
Elf..............................................................................................................................................120
Odd Sensation............................................................................................................................121
Venice........................................................................................................................................122
Vegetable Love...........................................................................................................................123
Adam's Rib................................................................................................................................124
Worldly......................................................................................................................................125
Waylay.......................................................................................................................................126
Without the Words....................................................................................................................127
Cold Sins....................................................................................................................................128
Digestive Processes....................................................................................................................129
An Idyll Goddess Whom One Cannot Help But to Revere........................................................130
Venice.........................................................................................................................................131
S. Mooching...............................................................................................................................132
Chapter VI To You..............................................................................................133
Nothings....................................................................................................................................134
Shour Drapes.............................................................................................................................135
Ashore........................................................................................................................................136
Golden Tips................................................................................................................................137
11
12. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma
Tripping Up...............................................................................................................................138
To Differ....................................................................................................................................139
Olivia.........................................................................................................................................140
Olive...........................................................................................................................................141
Onion.........................................................................................................................................142
Weakening.................................................................................................................................143
Vanguard...................................................................................................................................144
Entitlements..............................................................................................................................145
Fleece.........................................................................................................................................146
Unrestrainéd Passion Prevents Clear Thought...........................................................................147
Addiction on the Mind..............................................................................................................148
Expected....................................................................................................................................149
Volve..........................................................................................................................................150
Groggy Mumblings.....................................................................................................................151
1280x1024x32bpp.....................................................................................................................152
Demanotation............................................................................................................................153
Curiae.........................................................................................................................................154
Moors.........................................................................................................................................155
Pebbles.......................................................................................................................................156
Sri Lanka...................................................................................................................................157
Chapter VII All My Friends..............................................................................158
To the Dearly Regarded..............................................................................................................159
Golden........................................................................................................................................160
You So Mean..............................................................................................................................161
Nice in a New Year's Kind of Way............................................................................................162
Musician....................................................................................................................................163
I'm Sorry....................................................................................................................................164
Lump of Clay.............................................................................................................................165
Walnut Shell..............................................................................................................................166
Empty Crush..............................................................................................................................167
Makes Me Sick...........................................................................................................................168
Self Destructor...........................................................................................................................169
Insults on the Trampoline..........................................................................................................170
Pecan Man.................................................................................................................................171
Genetically Engineered...............................................................................................................172
Braggart of Unworthy Boasts...................................................................................................173
Take It, Easy..............................................................................................................................174
Prejudice Fades...........................................................................................................................175
12
13. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma
A Return to This Nothingness....................................................................................................176
Mea Culpa..................................................................................................................................177
Penguins on My Own................................................................................................................178
Tally...........................................................................................................................................179
Burned Out Beacon...................................................................................................................180
Taste in Decisions......................................................................................................................181
For a Split Second......................................................................................................................182
.Jpg............................................................................................................................................183
E'ery Thing Changes You...........................................................................................................184
Pampers......................................................................................................................................185
Packaging...................................................................................................................................186
A Mus........................................................................................................................................187
Poetic Interference.....................................................................................................................188
Fact Smiles.................................................................................................................................189
Pluto and Charon.......................................................................................................................190
Feef............................................................................................................................................192
Will............................................................................................................................................193
Upon Awakening.......................................................................................................................194
Chapter VIII All Things Great and Small.........................................................195
Gluck.........................................................................................................................................196
So...............................................................................................................................................197
Joshing? Me?.............................................................................................................................198
A Philiac's Metamorphoses........................................................................................................199
Chapter IX Haiku's for No One..........................................................................201
Sweetness...................................................................................................................................201
Silk.............................................................................................................................................201
Conditioner................................................................................................................................201
Pools...........................................................................................................................................201
Lips............................................................................................................................................201
A Taste.......................................................................................................................................202
Tegument...................................................................................................................................202
Thermal Need.............................................................................................................................202
Llama.........................................................................................................................................202
Camel.........................................................................................................................................202
Indecencies.................................................................................................................................202
Necking......................................................................................................................................202
Objectivity.................................................................................................................................203
Thailand.....................................................................................................................................203
13
14. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma
A Doll........................................................................................................................................203
A Right to Bear.........................................................................................................................203
Obelisks......................................................................................................................................203
Washington...............................................................................................................................203
SemiVery Precious....................................................................................................................203
Singing How She Does..............................................................................................................204
Licking? Good............................................................................................................................204
Placement...................................................................................................................................204
Jojo.............................................................................................................................................204
Maybe........................................................................................................................................204
Chapter X Travels................................................................................................205
Bridges.......................................................................................................................................206
Mendeleev..................................................................................................................................208
My White Love.........................................................................................................................209
Fief.............................................................................................................................................210
Deflowering Fields....................................................................................................................211
Ruins of the Present Day...........................................................................................................212
You No Be Existing...................................................................................................................213
Geneses.......................................................................................................................................214
An Abbey Row...........................................................................................................................215
Chapter XI Weed.................................................................................................216
Strawberry..................................................................................................................................217
Dreaming In...............................................................................................................................218
PinkScarred Skies......................................................................................................................219
Star............................................................................................................................................220
Wild...........................................................................................................................................221
Split Apart.................................................................................................................................222
War of the Roses........................................................................................................................223
Supernova..................................................................................................................................224
Meteors Must Land Somewhere................................................................................................225
Chapter XII Pelham Renaissance.......................................................................226
Omnivenicient............................................................................................................................228
Why Do I Always Hear Screams...............................................................................................230
Erroneous Misconceptions.........................................................................................................231
Armed Forces.............................................................................................................................232
Chapter XIII Perfection.....................................................................................233
That Which Offends Due to Its Unquestionable Filth.............................................................234
14
15. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma
Perfect Idealist...........................................................................................................................235
If I Were Omniscient.................................................................................................................236
The Perfect Couch......................................................................................................................237
Perfect Image.............................................................................................................................238
Chapter XIV Social Ills......................................................................................239
Generation of Suckers................................................................................................................240
Armed Boxing............................................................................................................................241
Lusting......................................................................................................................................243
Defamation................................................................................................................................244
In Heat......................................................................................................................................245
Take It from the Top..................................................................................................................246
Cereal.........................................................................................................................................247
Envy Me, Fools.........................................................................................................................248
Artificial Drinks........................................................................................................................249
Improvements.............................................................................................................................250
Chumps.......................................................................................................................................251
Eyece..........................................................................................................................................252
Not Just a Name........................................................................................................................253
A Friend, A Fan, A Wouldn'tBe Lover...................................................................................254
Chapter XV Seasons of Christianity...................................................................255
The Falling of the Leaves..........................................................................................................256
Already Got One?......................................................................................................................257
Services......................................................................................................................................258
QuasiCultural Perspective........................................................................................................259
Being Made in the Image of a Deity, and Other Examples of Utility......................................260
Role Model.................................................................................................................................261
Pardon, Could You Spare Some Assistance?..............................................................................262
Defense of Clones, Not of Cloning.............................................................................................263
Jesus the Polygamist..................................................................................................................266
Basking and Asking...................................................................................................................267
If Deists Were Deer...................................................................................................................268
A Condemnation, Like Many Things (I Write).........................................................................269
Nigh Bouts................................................................................................................................270
Chapter XVI Sin Colored Glasses.......................................................................271
She Wore Smiling Flowers.........................................................................................................272
Dreaming the Sweet Dream.......................................................................................................273
Silent Thief.................................................................................................................................274
A Banana...................................................................................................................................275
15
16. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma
The Truth of all Bananas...........................................................................................................276
One Simple Blunder...................................................................................................................277
Real World.................................................................................................................................278
Fear The.....................................................................................................................................279
Fear Is.......................................................................................................................................280
Fear In.......................................................................................................................................281
Fear For.....................................................................................................................................282
Alien Nation..............................................................................................................................283
Amnesia.....................................................................................................................................284
Pax Gaea....................................................................................................................................285
Voice of Temptation...................................................................................................................286
Chapter XVII Crime to Smile.............................................................................287
I'm a Wussy...............................................................................................................................288
Navy..........................................................................................................................................289
The Jest......................................................................................................................................290
Laughter's Medicine..................................................................................................................291
Why I like Penguins Better.......................................................................................................292
Slave..........................................................................................................................................293
Am I Nothing Then?..................................................................................................................294
Little Girls.................................................................................................................................295
Bombardment.............................................................................................................................297
Chapter XVIII Spectacles for Love....................................................................298
A Million Miles.........................................................................................................................299
Adam et Eve..............................................................................................................................300
Loved.........................................................................................................................................301
Love Like Tow'ring Hands........................................................................................................302
If................................................................................................................................................303
Breaking Up..............................................................................................................................304
Regret.........................................................................................................................................305
And She Was Crying..................................................................................................................306
To Forgive..................................................................................................................................308
Forgive.......................................................................................................................................309
Forgiveness.................................................................................................................................310
An Eye for a Cry........................................................................................................................311
Communicate..............................................................................................................................312
Spastic........................................................................................................................................313
No One.......................................................................................................................................314
To all the Ones...........................................................................................................................315
16
17. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma
Eulogy........................................................................................................................................316
Chapter XIX Loathe............................................................................................317
How Do I Loathe Thee..............................................................................................................318
Cast Your Tears..........................................................................................................................319
Eva Rhea...................................................................................................................................320
Mute..........................................................................................................................................321
Souleful Compassion..................................................................................................................322
Malicious, But True...................................................................................................................323
Paint Thinner Chips...................................................................................................................324
CurAid......................................................................................................................................325
Illegitimate Father.....................................................................................................................326
Chapter XX ¡Wow!.............................................................................................327
Hamiltonian Perversions............................................................................................................328
Mercen.......................................................................................................................................331
Procreatory Success....................................................................................................................332
Chapter XXI Sellout...........................................................................................334
Brutally Honest.........................................................................................................................335
M. Poster Boy............................................................................................................................336
Privation....................................................................................................................................337
Concise Interruptions................................................................................................................338
How Truly Weird It Is Others Can See My Words...................................................................339
The Zenith of Oblivion..............................................................................................................340
Disdain from Wittenburg Castle................................................................................................341
Hardly Deep...............................................................................................................................342
Dialectal....................................................................................................................................343
Wary..........................................................................................................................................344
Chapter XXII Secret Agenda Man.....................................................................345
Meticulous.................................................................................................................................346
I Wish I Could Say No..............................................................................................................347
Whispers....................................................................................................................................348
W Turn Off the Lights..............................................................................................................349
Retrograde Amnesia...................................................................................................................350
Grade.Average............................................................................................................................351
It Started In December..............................................................................................................352
Some on My Eighteenth Year....................................................................................................353
Pods for Transportation.............................................................................................................354
Always the Exception................................................................................................................355
17
18. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma
I Never Claimed I Was..............................................................................................................356
Meaningless Depression.............................................................................................................357
Dead People...............................................................................................................................358
Spellings.....................................................................................................................................359
Depths of Dubious Deception...................................................................................................360
GroundLovers...........................................................................................................................361
Inkéd Blood's Transpiration......................................................................................................362
No One Ever Notices.................................................................................................................363
Ireun..........................................................................................................................................364
Myself........................................................................................................................................365
Packaging Peanuts [Safety].......................................................................................................368
Without a Mind's Eye...............................................................................................................369
Amoebic Pseudopod...................................................................................................................370
Infallible....................................................................................................................................371
Chapter XXIII Doors..........................................................................................372
A Valediction: Truth..................................................................................................................373
A Valediction to Innocence........................................................................................................374
A Valediction: Forbidding Morning..........................................................................................375
To What Was: a Valediction.....................................................................................................376
It's the Goodbyes That Count....................................................................................................377
Dark Blue..................................................................................................................................379
Prose...................................................................................................................................380
Chapter XXV..............................................................................................................................381
Bananas.....................................................................................................................................381
Bananas Revisited....................................................................................................................382
Messy Breakup..........................................................................................................................383
High School Love.......................................................................................................................385
High School Love: 2...................................................................................................................386
Death Rides a Green Bicycle......................................................................................................388
A Tall Smooth Shaft..................................................................................................................391
If Deer Were Deists...................................................................................................................394
AA Meetings..............................................................................................................................397
Sleepy Date................................................................................................................................398
Santa..........................................................................................................................................400
Knowledge and Excommunication............................................................................................401
The Naked Mole Rat and the Penguin.......................................................................................402
Pygmy........................................................................................................................................403
Scales.........................................................................................................................................404
18
19. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma
Ground Beef...............................................................................................................................405
Mandibles..................................................................................................................................407
The Pimp and the Pheromone Rose Garden................................................................................408
In the Off Season.......................................................................................................................409
Chapter XXIV Letters and Epistles....................................................................411
Literature Springs from Bloodshed............................................................................................411
If Adam and Eve Were Greek....................................................................................................412
The Sexuality of Virgin Olive Oil (and Other Perishables).........................................................412
Truth about Bambi....................................................................................................................413
The Real Story of Frankenstein..................................................................................................414
Organic.......................................................................................................................................415
I'm Here for You.........................................................................................................................416
Some Thoughts on Female Brain Shrinkage...............................................................................417
Just Because You're Out of the Valley Doesn't Mean the Hill or Mountain Is That Great......417
Mothers Know Because of Chromosomes”.................................................................................418
Genetics......................................................................................................................................418
Extinction..................................................................................................................................419
Is Nature Alive..........................................................................................................................419
The Appropriateness of Hymen..................................................................................................420
On Vampires...............................................................................................................................421
Why the Irish Fight...................................................................................................................422
Misunderstandings Expand the Vocabulary.............................................................................422
Balances of New Ideas..............................................................................................................423
Innocence to Corruption to Mindset.........................................................................................424
Innocence Left Unattended......................................................................................................424
A New Brave World..................................................................................................................425
Men Should Be Islands.............................................................................................................426
Humans Are Not Made to Be Alone..........................................................................................427
Banana Republic........................................................................................................................427
Conscience..................................................................................................................................428
Reflections upon My Shrinking World......................................................................................429
Death.........................................................................................................................................429
Death, Part 2: Processed Meat..................................................................................................430
Television...................................................................................................................................430
Friendship..................................................................................................................................431
Beggars Are Choosers.................................................................................................................432
Infection....................................................................................................................................433
Just Say No................................................................................................................................433
19
20. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma
No More Heroes.........................................................................................................................434
The Future Is Escape and Death...............................................................................................435
Truth Is the Worst Sin...............................................................................................................436
Why a Trapped Animal Is the Most Deadly.............................................................................436
Which Murder Is More Unnatural?..........................................................................................437
50% of the Right Choices...........................................................................................................438
The Once and Future Innocence................................................................................................438
Religious Prejudice.....................................................................................................................439
Terrorism....................................................................................................................................440
The Joys of Sin...........................................................................................................................441
Cult............................................................................................................................................441
AntiAgnostic............................................................................................................................442
Think You're In Love.................................................................................................................442
Friendship: Again......................................................................................................................443
Huh............................................................................................................................................443
Chapter XXV Lewd Reference Dictionary.........................................................444
Some Reasons I Like Computers More Than the People That Operate Them.............................446
The New English Handbook for Starting and Maintaining Your Cult.....................................447
Advice for/During the Wooing of a Woman.............................................................................449
Some Less Than Interesting Thoughts, Musings, and Not so Witty Banter to Ponder or to
Spout in Everyday Conversation................................................................................................451
Widdles......................................................................................................................................455
Shots..........................................................................................................................................464
BSides................................................................................................................................465
Chapter XXVI BSides.......................................................................................466
Life............................................................................................................................................467
Dressing Up...............................................................................................................................468
Circumstance..............................................................................................................................469
Rego...........................................................................................................................................470
Screw the Farmers! <There's More of “Us” Anyways>..............................................................471
If Kept Busy..............................................................................................................................472
Planning.....................................................................................................................................473
Love............................................................................................................................................474
The Jungle..................................................................................................................................476
Set Me........................................................................................................................................479
Repression..................................................................................................................................480
The Black Rose...........................................................................................................................481
Sing Along.................................................................................................................................482
20
21. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma
Independence.............................................................................................................................483
Almost........................................................................................................................................484
Bloodstained Tears.....................................................................................................................485
Everyman...................................................................................................................................486
Left in the Weeds......................................................................................................................487
Manic Depressive......................................................................................................................488
Masochism Schism.....................................................................................................................489
My Fellow Americans................................................................................................................490
Not a Night for Love.................................................................................................................491
On the Back of a Sign................................................................................................................492
Sorrow's Song............................................................................................................................493
Dinner........................................................................................................................................496
Tucked Away in the Silent Corner..............................................................................................497
The Last.....................................................................................................................................498
Tears to Set Love.......................................................................................................................499
Immobilized Victim...................................................................................................................500
Lingering....................................................................................................................................501
Why?.........................................................................................................................................502
Cry.............................................................................................................................................503
Groan.........................................................................................................................................504
Wide Open Eyes........................................................................................................................505
Separations................................................................................................................................507
Bloodstained Hands...................................................................................................................508
Out of Touch..............................................................................................................................509
Disadvantages/Advantages.......................................................................................................510
His Own Island.........................................................................................................................512
Appendices..........................................................................................................................513
Thesaurus/Glossary of Terms Used Herein................................................................................514
A Commentary...........................................................................................................................545
Thoughts on Slightly Demented.................................................................................................553
ABOUT THE AUTHOR..........................................................................................................555
21
22. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma
Here Beginneth Various Works of
Poetry
As Followeth Art In IllDefined Chapters
The Tragically Departed
This is dedicated to the tragically departed;
The ones who had to leave when, alas, their lives had only started.
This is dedicated to the ones we all shall miss,
Whose kind souls and pure camaraderie filled our souls with bliss.
This is dedicated to the ones who've passed away;
They're singing with the angels now where it is ever day.
There once was a young promising scholar at my school
Who had a light heart indeed, yet was no one's fool.
John Ross Collins was sorely mourned when his candle burned out,
But his legacy of wit and wisdom shall be with us these years throughout.
J.R., we really miss you and hate the gun that took you away
Via unfortunate circumstance to be with the One to whom we pray.
Often it seems one doesn't realize how one cares for those around,
And, sadly, through departure the depth of care is found.
Shirice was gifted and endowed with the ability to draw,
But it was, perhaps, not this but her strength and kindness that friends saw.
If she were here upon this day, there is no telling what she would say,
But it can be appreciated of Ms. Travis that she saw in many shades of gray.
It was dark and desolate when the winds came in all their might
To escort this dearly beloved to where cometh no night.
22
23. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma
Chapter I
Lacking a Sensible Title
It seems I've found something
Which I never thought I'd lost.
It was at the barrel's bottom
Under brick layers of frost.
5 I rejoiced to rediscover
This gift that was gone,
But where did I place it
When I answered the phone?
23
24. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma
Nature Lover
“Love mother nature!”
Were the words that he heard.
Immediately he went out
To do bad things with a bird.
5 It's okay in the South
To love nature—your mother.
But it's rather risqué1
To love one's oaken brother.
He was raised in climes
10 That bred incest;
It was only natural he fondled
His piney sister's knotty breast.
This dendrophiliac2 was eventually found.
“I was loving nature!” he cried.
15 “Which is why we're bringing you in;
The goat's died.”
1 Risqué: racy or naughty
2 Dendrophiliac: an intimate lover of trees
24
25. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma
Fiend
I had sex with an alien,
But she was over sixteen.
So everything was kosher3,
You know what I mean.
5 It may have been an abduction,
But it was not rape,
For I gladly consented;
Even got the whole thing on tape.
To me there's nothing like
10 Greenspeckled blue skin.
Just pondering over it
Makes me desire it again.
She really liked my pants,
Was dying to get in;
15 I took them off, and
That's when the magic did begin.
Now I'm bearing our love child,
But the judge says I get no palimony4.
I guess he doesn't believe in aliens
20 And thinks I'm some kind of phony.
3 Kosher: okay
4 Palimony: payment made to support a former intimate
25
26. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma
Graveyards
Graveyards are by far the
World's most romantic places.
There is nothing quite as
Thrilling as rotting faces.
5 Mausoleums are quite
Like a private hotel;
An cultured girl
Will not mind the smell
Of rotting death and
10 Granite and dew.
If she's squeamish bring
Her flowers or glue
To sniff. Grab a meal and
Converse before you take a walk
15 Around, because you'll be too
Preoccupied to wish to talk
Once emotion takes hold
And you lie to rest on
A plot that was sold
20 To some other being.
26
27. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma
Dear Freud
Dear Freud, I don't
Recall us ever having met,
But you would analyze me
More than I could possibly forget.
5 Some might call me slightly demented,
You might call me male;
But at least I don't have envy
Or the libido of a snail.
If everything's connected
10 As you believe,
Then there are no levels
Of perversion I cannot achieve!
27
28. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma
Sycamore
I put my love in a sycamore tree
To let her sobre out,
For she breathes jack o' the daniels
And is a drunken lout.
5 I put my love in a sycamore tree
Because she likes to scream and shout,
But, when I climbed up to bring her down,
She tried to push me out.
I put my love in a sycamore tree,
10 But she didn't seem to care;
All that she did was ignore me
And play with the birdies there.
I put my love in a sycamore tree
With the winds and rains and snow
15 Blowing harshly around her ears,
But none of this phased her, though.
I put my love in a sycamore tree,
Perchance I should've put her in a bush.
For now, when I try to talk ,
20 She but merely tells me “shush.”
I put my love in a sycamore tree,
And I regret the day I did;
For my love jumped right out,
Ran away, and hid.
28
29. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma
Toilet Seats
An old man caught me by surprise one day
When on a pier he thumped my thigh.
I spun about from fishing inquisitively
And found an odd look in his eye.
5 It seemed rather glazed over, and
The other orb was of plain brown wood.
The effect and expression his repelling eyes
Achieved, no crosseyed kid's could.
My moment of awe was interrupted
10 When his glazed eye began to dance
To each forceful syllable
That he uttered in his trance.
He went into convulsions,
Snapped out and said, “Please,”
15 Something or the other;
The rest was in Vietnamese.
I was going to seek a new fishing spot
When he spouted his life's story.
He rather especially stressed
20 One of his moments of glory.
“I had to train my wife, boy,
To put up the toilet seat;
If I can put it down for her,
Then she could put it up for me.”
25 It was then I regarded
Him as crazy;
I looked into his eyes,
The wooden one was lazy.
29
30. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma
Entrance Exam
I never thought I'd die;
I'd been around so long.
But one day I was shot
For singing a country song.
5 Everything became misty,
But I stumbled through the smoke
Only to find some gates and
This guy. This is what he spoke.
“You've got to pass this test
10 To gain admission into heaven;
God rather dislikes people
With IQ's of only seven.
The test has no lies, just
Multiple Choice, TrueFalse;
15 It doesn't matter if you can
Sing and dance or do a waltz.
Smiles and good works
Can't get you in my city,
Neither can Faith
20 Hill or a charming ditty.
Complete in No. 2 lead,
Sign in blue ink where needed.
Go tell Old St. Pete
When this exam you have completed.
25 If you fail this battery,5
You should've listened in school,
For it's only reading, writing,
'Rithmetic, not prophesying, fool.”
I told him I only had No. 3 lead
30 And an pink ink pen.
I found that remark amusing,
But he didn't bother to grin.
He pointed over by the gates
To a desk that was rather wee6.
5 Battery: exam, test
6 Wee: small
30
31. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma
35 I shuffled over and crammed in;
It was uncomfortable for me.
To my satisfaction, the test contained
Vast amounts of geometry;
I had aced the math portion
40 With a 210 on the SAT.
So maybe I'm not meant for heaven
As far as tests are concerned.
But I'd climb those offwhite gates
Afore I'd get scorched and burned.
45 But, really, there's no need for that
Since the gates have no abutting wall.
I'd prefer to walk right in
Than risk another death from the fall.
31
32. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma
Call of the Wild Vikings
Flee the call of the wild Vikings,
They've come to steal your soul,
Your smallclothes and your nostrils,
And emptiness from its hole.
5 For the unstoppable wild Vikings
The duty of war is fun.
If they'd wanted anguish and pain, they'd
Be home with wives and everyone.
What other occupation allows
10 For the despoilment of an horse
Or the pillaging of women?
Ah, it's good to be Norse,
As parenting involves
The burning of other's children,
15 And stealing entire villages
Is not counted as a sin.
Norsemen seek honor, feats,
Exploits, mead, and gold.
Plus, they don't fear death,
20 For, in the end, all are mold.
32
33. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma
Heavily Medicated
Women should stay heavily medicated;
They're more receptive to my lack of charm.
Thus, with the use of some overused
Lines they'll gravitate to my arm.
5 All of my best experiences
In Romance have been with drugs.
To my great dismay I have not
The playa powers of thugs.
But do not get me wrong; I didn't
10 Take advantage of these lasses.
I was being myself, when they
Warmed to me. Must've been the glasses.
I was unaccustomed
To these perplexing anomalies.
15 Always later I find out
That I've been used by druggies.
And to my blissful case
Of ignorance I plead
That I deserve these happenings
20 For the disappointing love life I lead.
33
34. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma
On Monday
On Monday things happened
As they've normally done before:
In inefficient turmoil and boredom
Whilst I walked across the floor
5 Following the lead and guidance
Of a crackbaby puppy
Whose harlotrous dam bred
Like a nymphomaniac guppy,
Judging from the number of siblings
10 Trotting round me with fourlegged woes
And withdrawal. Each is rummaging
Through alien baggage with the nose,
With sniffyllis's wet snorting; a germ's
Moistly chilled fragrant monumental landform.
15 Occasionally one limply collapses after
Sniffing government crack or chloroform.
34
35. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma
Regularities
There've been some nasty rumours
Concerning why I can't maintain a job.
It seems the opinion of the public
Mandates that I'm a slob.
5 But if they only knew
Life is but misconceptions,
They'd have long since stopped postulating for
Other's imaginary directions.
Truth be known, joblessness informs
10 Me of the status of my physique,
As I am administered physicals
Almost every other week.
I frequent a room with latex
Gloves where the air is crisply cold.
15 There I must run in place and
Obediently do as I am told.
What would they do for love,
Wealth, or a just7 measure?
Lie down, anything, and protest like
20 Their gossip about my pleasure.
7 Just: fair
35
36. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma
Hypothetices
What would you do
If your freckles were blue?
Would you marry me?
I'm just one with toes
5 Who likes to propose
And formulate hypothetices8.
If there were none else
Besides the Celts
Would you dye yourself with wode?
10 I'm a desperately settling guy
Who'd accept even a lie,
Though most tell me to hit the road.
8 Hypothetices: hypothetical situations
36
37. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma
Nu Mecksìckö
I'm going New Mexico
With curtains on my car;
Not to shade my eyes
On a journey that far.
5 See, I may be lucky,
If fortune is with me,
And I would not want
The whole world to see
The adventures of my
10 Honey I have newly met,
Unless they pay to see
Us on the Internet.
Curtains make it legal by
Some disturbing legal action
15 To make the uncomfortable
Back seat a place of satisfaction.
37
38. The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma
Donkey on My Thigh
Like a donkey on his thigh
Pale as coffee creamer,
Sat this greedily braying,
Compulsive little screamer.
5 If that derrière had a
Tail with which to swat flies,
Then it would be wagging back
And forth lashing nose and eyes.
“Look , kid, I'm not Santa.”
10 The elf he'd ever feared.
“This is called a goatee;
It is not a beard.
Did someone put you up to this?”
Questioned the drunken hippie's voice,
15 Which for some reason caused the child
To toothily grin and rejoice.
Pointing from the park bench
Into the blinding rays
To where the bells'd ring on
20 Wintry and generous days,
The lad assigned the culprit a
Figure, he who'd sent him to thigh.
After the sun Jonat was color
Blind and had splotches before the eye.
25 Blinking quickly for a moment,
Thus did he himself entertain,
Until the miscreant's recognition
Caused him to refrain.
Jonat noted then the
30 Kid's ears were pointy, too.
Tugging, they were indeed
Naturally affixèd not with glue.
Jonat would have fled
Could Santa not fly,
35 But Santa walked over
And began with, “Hi,
38