The document compares family structures in ancient Sparta, Athens, and Rome, highlighting the significant differences among them. Spartan families prioritized state loyalty and military training, with children raised collectively for strength and discipline, while Roman families were governed by a patriarch with complete authority, and women had limited legal rights but gained some independence over time. Athenian families typically comprised a mother, father, and children, with marriages arranged by male relatives and women largely confined to domestic life, although divorce and social mobility were also factors in their family dynamics.

1. THE FAMILY IN
ANCIENT TIMES
SPARTA
ATHENS
ROME

2.  The human family is an established bio-social unit (biolocial group) consisting
of two adult heterosexual and non-blood relatives who are coupled and
whose children make up a so-called "nuclear family ". The minimum
functions of these core groups (in the broadest form) is to provide
satisfaction and control needs of affection including sexual relations, and
maintaining a "socio-cultural" situation (sociocultural situation) for a proper
upbringing and socialization of their children.
 Each group as described above, who simultaneously perform the minimum
functions mentioned is called a "family”. The structure of each family,
typically related by kinship or property (see the role of slaves in ancient
Greece and ancient Rome), has evolved to date and results in different
“types" of families analyzed below.

3.  The Spartan family was quite different from that
of other Ancient Greek city-states. The word
"spartan” describes self-denial and simplicity.
This is what Spartan life was all about. Children
were “children of the state” more than of their
parents. They were raised to be soldiers, loyal to
the state, strong and self-disciplined.

4.  It began in infancy. When a Spartan baby was
born, soldiers came to the house and examined
it carefully to determine its strength.The baby
was bathed in wine rather than water, to see its
reaction. If a baby was weak, the Spartans left it
on the hillside or sent it away to become a slave
(helot). Infanticide was common in ancient
cultures, but the Spartans were particularly picky
about their children. It was not just a matter of
the family, it was the city-state who decided the
fate of the child. Nurses had the primary care of
the baby.

5.  Soldiers took boys from their
mothers at age 7, housed them in
a dormitory with other boys and
trained them to become soldiers.
The mother's softening influence
was considered detrimental to a
boy's education. The boys
endured harsh physical discipline
and deprivation in order to make
them strong. They marched
without shoes and went days
without food. They learned to
fight, endure pain and survive
through their wits. The older
boys willingly participated in
beating the younger boys to
toughen them up. Self-denial,
simplicity, the warrior code, and
loyalty to the city-state governed
their lives.

6.  Spartan children were told
stories of courage and
fortitude. One favorite
story was about a boy who
followed the Spartan code.
He captured a live fox and
intended to eat it.
Although boys were
encouraged to scrounge
for food, they were
punished if caught. The
boy noticed some Spartan
soldiers coming, and hid
the fox beneath his shirt.
When the soldiers
confronted him, he
allowed the fox to chew
into his stomach rather
than confess, and showed
no sign of pain in his body
or face. This was the
Spartan way.

7.  At the age of 20 or so, they had to pass a rigorous test
to graduate and become full citizens. Only soldiers
were given “aristocratic” citizenship. If they failed their
tests they never became citizens, but instead, became
perioeci, the middle class. So to some extent, class was
based on merit rather than birth.
 If the young men passed their test, they continued to
live in the barracks and train as soldiers but were
required to marry in order to breed new, young
Spartans. The state gave them a piece of land which
was cultivated by slaves and which they themselves did
nothing for. They were given a salary so they would
remain full-time soldiers. At the age of 30 they were
allowed to live with their families, but continued to
train until the age of 60 when they retired from military
service.

8.  Girls were also removed from their homes at the age of
7 and sent to school. There, they learned wrestling,
gymnastics, were taught to fight, and endured harsh
physical training. Spartans believed that strong mothers
produced strong children. Young women competed in
athletic events and may have also competed in the nude
as men did.
 If they passed their citizen tests, they were assigned to a
husband. Because this did not happen until they were
18-20, they were more emotionally mature when they
married and closer to the age of their husbands.
Marrying later than other Greek women, the Spartan
women produced stronger children. To prepare for
their wedding night, their hair was cut short and were
dressed in male clothing. Afterwards, the manreturned
to his all-male barracks.

9.  Men and women did not live together, but met occasionally for
procreation. The wedding consisted of a ritualized physical
struggle which resulted in the man slinging the woman over his
shoulder and taking her off. By the end of the 4th century BCE,
there were more women than men in Sparta and women often
had more than one father for their children, as several men could
share the same wife. Connubial love was discouraged by the city-
state, but there is evidence that some husbands and wives loved
each other very much. This fact would embarrass them if it were
known, a shameful weakness, so such attachments were usually
kept secret.
 Women enjoyed much greater freedom and independence in
Sparta than in other Greek city-states. Because mothers had little
responsibility for the care of their children, they were not as tied
to the home as most Greek women were. They were allowed to
walk in the city and transact their own affairs. They owned their
own property, which was as much as a third of the property in
Sparta. Their husbands were only a minor part of their lives, and
apart from matters relating to the military, were generally
independent.

10.  They were not as close to their children as other Greek
women in some ways, but a mother had pride in her
son's stature as a courageous and strong soldier. “Come
home with your shield or upon it” was said to be the
advice one woman gave her son as he went off to war.
They shared the culture's shame of weakness.
 Although the Spartans did not have a family life as we
think of it, there is evidence that in some cases at least
Spartan men and women had close ties to their children
as well as with each other. Their system certainly was
well-ordered and avoided the "moral degeneration"
which they despised in the Athenians who they saw as
wallowing in luxuries. And their is no doubt that the
system produced strong soldiers. The Spartan army was
legendary in ancient Greece, and the legend continues
to this day.

11.  Before the Imperial Age, in very early Roman times, a
typical Roman family included unmarried children,
married sons and their families, other relatives, and
family slaves.
 The ruler of the family was the oldest male. This
could be the father, the grandfather, or perhaps even an
uncle. His title was pater familias. The pater familias led
religious ceremonies, taught his sons how to farm, and
made all the important decisions. His word was law as
far as his family was concerned. He owned the
property, had total authority and the power of life and
death over every member of his household.

12.  Even when his children became
adults, he was still the boss. But,
he was also responsible for the
actions of any member of his
household. He could order a
child or an adult out of his
house. If anyone in his
household committed a crime,
he could be punished for it.
However, it was not against the
law for the head of the house to
put a sick baby out to die or to
sell members of his family to
slavery.
 However, the Romans expected
a pater familias to treat his family
fairly. There were no laws to stop
him from treating them unfairly,
but there was social pressure.

13.  A woman had no legal protection. She was not a citizen of Rome. Her job
was to take care of the house and to have children. Mothers who could read
and write taught their children how to. They taught their girls how to cook and
sew and care for a family. But women could not leave the home to shop or see a
play or even visit a temple. Women who could afford to used slaves to shop and
cook for them. Wealthy women could leave the house, but spent a large part of
their day on personal grooming - styling their hair, and dressing
ornately.Children were trained to obey their elders and be loyal citizens. You
couldn’t talk back. If you talked back, you could find yourself out the door. You
could try to go to a friend’s house, but the odds were that they would not take
you in. Some families kept slaves. Slaves were treated well, in most cases,
because they were considered to be property. They had food to eat, jobs to do,
and clothes to wear but were not free to look for a better family. They were
slaves. They were owned.

DURING THE IMPERIAL AGE, the age of Emperors: (late 1c CE to
about 500 CE):
Although families still lived in one home, during the Imperial Age, women could
own land, run businesses, free slaves, write wills, be heirs themselves, and
get a job in certain professions. The ancient Romans tried to help their family
get through marriage, divorce, adoption, and re-marriage. After a divorce, ex-in-
laws were still important, as were their children. Adopted children had the same
rights as any of the other children, rights based on their sex and age. In addition
to wives and children, wealthy ancient Roman homes supported slaves.

14.  Old Age: The ancient Romans greatly respected
and cared for their elderly. When the older members
of a family became too tired for other activities, they
could always play with their grandchildren and great
grandchildren, all of whom had been born under their
roof, and would one day be honoring them at
the Parentalia, the festival of the dead.
 Slaves: Wealthy ancient Romans had slaves. In
some homes, slaves were treated like valued servants. In
others, they were severely abused. Slaves kept the
furnaces burning in the bath houses, cooked meals in
smoking chimneys in the kitchens, cleaned, sewed, and
did the household and garden labor for wealthy
Romans. Intelligent and gifted slaves also tutored the
kids (those kids who studied their subjects at home),
kept the accounts, and sometimes ran vast farm estates
or commercial departments of their masters' firms.

15.  Most Greeks, like most other people throughout history, lived in
families which consisted of a mother, a father and their
children. Usually men got married when they were about twenty-
five or thirty years old (as they do today), but women got married
much younger, between the age of twelve and sixteen.
 Girls from rich families probably got married younger, and girls
from poor families got married a little older. Because the girls
were so young, they did not have much choice about who they
were going to marry. Their fathers, uncles or brothers chose for
them. Often girls had not even met the man they married before
the wedding.

16.  There was no marriage ceremony as we know it today.
The parents arranged it, and then there was a party,
and the girl's parents paid a dowry to the man, and
then the girl moved into the man's house. If they were
both citizens, and she lived in his house, then they
were legally married. If she moved out of his house,
then they were divorced.
Usually there were other people living in the house as
well. Sometimes his parents would be there, if they
were still alive and if they weren't living with another
brother. Many people had slaves living in the house
with them too. Some people had their unmarried
sisters or widowed sisters living with them.
Wealthy Greek women hardly ever went out of the
house alone. Mostly when they went out it was to go
to weddings and funerals and religious ceremonies,
or to visit other women. Poor women, who didn't
have slaves, went out to get water from the fountain,
and sometimes to work in the fields or to sell
vegetables or flowers in the marketplace.
Divorce was pretty common in ancient Greece. If you
got divorced, the man had to return the woman's
dowry, so she would have some money to live off of.
The children stayed with their father, learning to run
the farm or business that they would later inherit.

17. Here are some videos…