Never one to duck away from a controversial subject, world-class trainer and author of the highly successful Be the Ultimate Assistant, Bonnie returns to Executive Secretary LIVE to shine a light on a problem that affects over 65% of Assistants at least once in their careers. If you have ever witnessed or experienced bullying, you know that it takes many forms -- from the “Devil Wears Prada” irrational diva to the co-worker who intentionally withholds important information to the manager who applies rules to certain people and not to others. All of it is bullying that is toxic to a healthy, happy and profitable workplace. As someone who has first-hand experience with bullying, Bonnie has been researching this subject for years and has connected with some of the world’s experts on the subject. She will be focusing on the proactive and realistic solutions that Assistants are implementing that are slowing down the revolving door of staff who are resigning. Together, we will break the silence and eat the elephant…one bite at a time. www.bonnielowkramen.com

1. The Elephant in the Room:
Presenter: Bonnie Low-Kramen
29 March, 2014

2. How Big a Problem Is It?

3. ABC News Video 2013
3

4. Vickie Evans, Texas
Lucy Brazier, UK
Anel Martin, Pretoria, SA
Bonnie Low-Kramen, NYC
Eth Lloyd, New Zealand
Renzie Richardson, Atlanta
Tracy P., U.S.A.
Rah, Sydney
Nita R., Chicago
Noreen Hahn, Canada
KL, Philadelphia
AD, Seattle
SN, Miami
Catherine Butler, London

5. #1
Persistent, offensive, abusive, intimidating
or insulting behavior or unfair action
directed at another individual causing the
recipient to feel threatened, abused,
humiliated, or vulnerable.
Workplace Bullying

6. Workplace Bullying
#2
These health-harming behaviors can include
verbal, physical or sexual abuse and cause
work interference and undermines the
individual’s rights to dignity at work.

7. • Yelling
• Uses Profanity
• Name-calling
• Public Humiliation
• Threats
• “Nasty-gram” emails
• Shows Favoritism
• Withholds information
• Ostracizes others
• Sabotages work

8. Quick Stats 2014 – A Global Problem
• United States 27%
• United Kingdom 25%
• Europe 50%
• Australia 25%
• Canada 40%
• Asia 50%
Percentage
of Offices
Where
Bullying Is
Reported

9. Who’s doing it?
Male Bullies 69%
Targets
Female 57%
Male 43%
Female Bullies 31%
Targets
Females 60%
Males 40%

10. “Bullying ruined my life.
After 8 years at the company, I was on
disability and suicide watch
for over 12 months.
My doctor was desperate for answers and
even wanted to perform shock therapy.
I have never felt so low.”

11. Child Bullies College Bullies Workplace Bullies
Latest Twist:

13. Bullying costs $$$
• 7 out of 10 employees quit their jobs
because of bullying
• $ High staff turnover
• $ Reduced productivity
• $ Increased sick time

14. Respect = Profits

15. Why?

16. What the experts say…

17. “Lean In” by Sheryl Sandberg
COO of Facebook

18. Leadership Gap
Employers don’t act.
They are afraid of the bully too.

20. Why bullies behave as they do
FEAR of…
• Incompetence
• Inadequacy
• Failure
Author Dr. Laura Crawshaw

21. Why are some oblivious?
• “They missed the important lessons of
empathy training in younger years from
parents who may have been empathically
inadequate themselves.
• Result? They fail to read and manage their
own and others emotions. This is why
awareness is critical.”
Dr. Laura Crawshaw

22. 2014 Headlines…
Is Your Boss a ?
Harvard Business Review
She Devils
The New York Post
Bullying Brings Devastation to the Company in the Long Run
LinkedIn
Bullying- The Problem and its Costs are Worse Than We Thought
Time Magazine

23. Can Bullies Change Their Spots?
YES! If they…
1. SEE the impact.
2. CARE to change.
3. LEARN by counselling.

24. What Can Assistants Do?

25. Act Immediately.

26. Silence is the Enemy
• Find your voice. Speak Up.
• Don’t isolate.
• Don’t suffer in silence.
Bullying thrives in silence.

27. Finding the Words
What to say…
• “Ouch.”
• “This is obviously not a good time.” Leave the room.
• “I am a professional and expect to be treated
with respect.”
• “Yelling at me is not going to help this situation.”

28. Strategy for Assistants
• Document everything
• Prepare for the conversation
• Practice saying the words
• Ask for time alone
• Stay calm, clear, and direct

29. Best Practice from Dr. Crawshaw
Stay calm.
When confronting a bully,
do not show Fear or Anger.

30. Prevention at Your Next Job
Do your homework
• Glassdoor.com
• Read the company website
• Speak to other staffers
Prepare Questions for the Interview
• What is your management style?
• What is the culture here?
• What has been your biggest challenge with
your assistants?

31. Fact:
Bullying Cannot Survive
in a Strong Culture of Respect

32. "This isn't a company that just talks about
putting employees first or glibly claims that
our people are our greatest asset.
This is a company that simply wouldn't exist
without the energy, the determination,
the wit and the wisdom of our people.“
Richard Branson, CEO

33. “We always act with respect, integrity,
compassion and loyalty. We are good listeners.
At the end of the day it’s not what we say or
do, but how we make people feel that matters
the most. We care about others, both
personally and professionally.”

34. The Bad News
• Bullying is epidemic.
• It destroys careers.
• It poisons companies.
• It has to stop.

35. The Good News!
We can do it.
“Be the change you wish to see in the world.”
Gandhi

37. Bullying has no place at work.
Choose RESPECT.

38. Thank you!
Bonnie Low-Kramen
www.BonnieLowKramen.com
Bonnie@BonnieLowKramen.com
Questions?
Let’s talk.