This document provides guidance on word choice, tone, and design elements to improve marketing communications. It suggests replacing vague words like "quality" and "service" with more specific language. Emotional and impactful words are preferred over bland terms. Proper use of formatting like punctuation and capitalization can strengthen messages. High contrast in design makes text easier to read versus low contrast that hinders comprehension. Color and positioning of images and text also impact readability. The goal is to engage readers and spur them to action through clear, compelling writing and layout.

1. The Devil’s in the Detail
Looking for an advantage
in your Creative
October 14, 2013
Herschell Gordon Lewis
Carol Worthington-Levy

2. 2

3. Are you firing
blanks?
Words
Are our
Weapons.

4. Avoid these words in force-
communication messages:
• quality
• service
• value
• needs (as
noun)
• “Remember,”
• What’s more
• Your partner
in…
• When it
comes to…
4

5. Please, please:
Never again write “blah”
phrases such as…
• Act now.
• See your Toyota dealer
today.
• Southwest Airlines
means business.
5

6. What is the difference
between
3
and
three
?
6

7. Word use:
Replace… with…
must have to
among one of
utilize use
perhaps maybe
buy acquire
purchase own
spend allocate
receive get
7

8. Can you
see how
the phrase
“you are
among”
damages
the image
of
exclusivity
?
8

9. What is a more emotional
word or phrase than:
• commence
• utilize
• omit
• receive
• we would like to
• large
• you incur no risk
• circular
• donate
• purchase
• fortunate
• requested
• I write
concerning
• we shall
• error
• perhaps
• however
• humorous
9

10. What is the difference
between:
• autumn and fall
• at last and finally
• sexy and sensual
• nude and naked
• made and
manufactured
• manufactured by
and built by
• right now and at once
• reply and respond
• insincere and not
sincere
• eager and anxious
• audience and viewers
• died and passed away
10

11. Consider replacing
•chance
•availability
•plan (as a noun)
•prospect
•possibility
•likelihood
with
opportunity
WHY? 11

12. Consider replacing
Application Form
with
Acceptance Form
WHY?
12

13. Suppose you prefer
Acceptance Certificate
instead of
Acceptance Form…
WHAT SHOULD YOU
CONSIDER BEFORE
MAKING A CHANGE?
13

14. Unsolicited email: Note the mismatch
between DEALS and APPLY NOW. Click:
14

15. What is that word “Application”
doing there? You contacted me.
15

16. A classic example of what not
to do. Goodbye.
16

17. A simple and easy-to-implement
rule for unsolicited email:
Grab
and shake
the reader,
fast and
dynamically.
17

18. Does this email grab and shake
the reader, fast and dynamically?
18

19. You don’t have to be a bourbon drinker to see
problems with this copy. Suggestions?
19

20. Too little
copy…
and too
much
copy.
Do you see
examples
of each?
20

21. If this
marketer
had asked
you to
create a
competing
email,
what
would you
have
suggested
? 21

22. What
would you
have said
instead of
“Learn
More”
as a click-
through?
22

23. What
would you
have said
instead of
“Learn
More”
as a click-
through?
23

24. Why should you avoid the word
LEARN?
Because it suggests your background or
education is defective. Suggested
replacement for marketing:
Get inside information about…
or
See first-hand…
or
[YOUR SUGGESTION]?

25. Editorial decision:
Illegal immigrant
or
undocumented alien
?
25

26. Your best prospects
are the individuals
or businesses most
targeted with
messages from your
competitors.
With that in mind…
26

27. Decide how much strength
you want to project:
Pass this up and you
cost yourself some money.
might
may
can

28. Decide when you can generate
better impact by changing voice:
Pass this up and I
cost myself some money.
might
may
can
will

29. Consider the pros and
cons of an absolute
statement:
Pass this up and
I’ll cost myself some
money
29

30. Add “If”…
Have you made this
stronger or weaker?
If I pass this up,
will I cost myself
some money?

31. The difference one word
can make:
If I pass this up, will I
cost myself some money?
versus…
If I pass this up, won’t I
cost myself some money?

32. Two words that can make
a conditional statement
appear to be an absolute
statement:
What if…

33. Two response-
suppressors
here:
Download,
which many
feel will affect
their hard
drive; and
Take the
Survey Now,
which
suggests using
much time.
33

34. A single word can have the
power to impel ongoing
readership in any medium:
Sunk
Ouch
Nuts
Hmmm
34

35. Opinion, please:
When is
an exclamation point
better and when worse than
a period?
Ouch.
Ouch!
Sunk.
Sunk! 35

36. Which of these, as envelope
copy or subject line, is more
likely to generate ongoing
readership?
Important
or
Important!
or
Important? You decide.36

37. If you
want an
impulse-
greed
response,
less copy
can be
more.
37

38. Can you think of a more salesworthy
word than “Learn”?
38

39. Your opinion: Would
Private offer:
have had more verisimilitude than
A special offer just for you.?
39

40. Your opinion of the exclamation
point as opposed to a rubber stamp
with no punctuation
40

41. Best Buy email – Can you think of a
better subject line than “Guaranteed
to get it”?
41

42. Headline is poor, could use the
stronger selling copy in the text.
42

43. Misleading?
Won’t some
recipients
interpret
this subject
line to mean
an MRI or
CT scan is
free?
(And there is
that nasty
word learn.
43

44. In the “contraindications”
disclaimer for a pharmaceutical
product,
which word did the marketer
wisely use instead of
“may be dangerous”?
“may be unsafe”

45. Tip, based on multiple
test results:
Others pay more
brings more response than
You pay less.
45

46. Tip, based on multiple
test results:
“You can apply for…
is a deadly response
killer.
46

47. Tip, based on multiple
test results:
Buy one, get one free
brings more response than
50% off
or
Two for the price of one.
47

48. For direct mail –
The Cardinal Rule of Envelope
Copy:
The carrier envelope has a
singular purpose (other than
keeping the contents from
falling out onto the street):
TO GET ITSELF
OPENED. 48

49. Potent envelope copy.
(Your opinion of the rubber stamp?
49

50. ONE MORE HOPE:
We are communicators,
supposedly literate.
Do we know the difference
between
lie (intransitive)
and
lay (transitive)
?
50

51. 51

52. ?????????????????????????????
?????????????????????????????
?????????????????????????????
?????????????????
Questions
?????????????????????????????
?????????????????????????????
?????????????????????????????
?????????????????
52

53. Design Details that
bedevil response…
53

54. Sometimes designers forget, or
don’t understand…
• With mail or email, we’re invited guests into
people’s homes…
• …Or if we’re presenting a website, we’re
promising them a good experience
• If your mail’s not working, it probably is too
hard to read, uninteresting or off-concept
54

55. The death of Common Sense Design
• Why do we mail/email efforts that are
impossible to read?
• Why, if we’re directing designers, do we not
question the fact that it’s illegible?
• Why do we choose images that are so wrong
or out of context, they don’t ‘get it’?
• The customer is not stupid – we are to blame
if they can’t understand our efforts to them!
55

56. The 4 Cs: design details that
improve response
• High Contrast +
• Smart Color +
• Thoughtful Concept = Comprehension
• If you’re missing the details in any of these,
you’re losing leads and sales — big time
56

57. Color and Contrast: a detail that
makes a huge difference
• You can capture response – or chase it away,
by how you use color and contrast
• This is true in print, online, in ads, emails…
everything
• This is all based on human physiology: how
the rods and cones of the eyes function
• Affects how messages are read and
comprehended
57

58. Contrast
• The human eye is 1500x more sensitive to
value than it is to color
• When you have something that is colorful,
versus something that has higher contrast,
people will look at the high contrast one first
• It’s human physiology, the rods and cones of
the eye at work, sending signals to the brain.
58

59. Low contrast = bad comprehension
• Black reads well on the yellow
• White type on lime green has low contrast
• The hairline thin type for the headline makes it worse
• The message in green is literally ignored by prospects
59

60. Contrast is a science, not just a creative choice
• Color value: how dark or light something is
• This black and white guide is just one tool designers
(should) use to ensure the typography in their efforts is
legible.
• Setting type on a background that has less than 8 value
steps between them will make the type less easy to read
• Every color has value and even at level 10 is too light
• Customers ignore messaging that is not easy to read
0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
60

61. Contrast examples
• The ‘arty’ choice is to set type in subtle color contrast
• …but nobody reads it!
• The practical and responsive way to set type and use
images is high contrast
• Even if it’s just a ‘brand’ piece, it’s a complete waste of
effort if it’s too hard to read, or confusing to look at
61

62. Contrast in action
• Here it is with
typography in
black and white…
• Which one is the
hardest to read?
• Which is easiest
to read?
62

63. Contrast in action
• Here how contrast
affects photography
• Which one shows off
this product the
best?
• The lower-contrast
you make an image,
the less likely
someone will be
engaged by it.
63

64. Contrast examples
• The ‘arty’ choice can’t
compete for your
customer’s time or
attention
• White type against
gray makes customers
ignore a good deal
64

65. Color and
response
• Another guide your
designer (should)
have: the color wheel
• Think about value for
these colors
• Yellow, at full
strength, has a value
of 2; purple (violet)
has a value of 9.
0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

66. Color and
Contrast
• Here it is with
typography in
color…
• Which one is
the hardest to
read?
• Easiest to read?
66

67. Contrast and color
• Actual sample: Yellow
type on white – or white
type on yellow – is
ignored by customers
• I glanced at this an
ignored it. Too bad for me,
and for them!
• Although sometimes they
get mad that it’s so hard
to read.
• Do you really want to piss
your customers off?
67

68. Does your design
include white type?
• Reversing type out of a color,
black, or a photo will reduce
readership by up to 90%
(readership = response)
• Proven in extensive studies
• This is common sense: if
there’s a picture, we work to
try to make out what it is. We
don’t read the type that’s
interfering with it
68

69. Reversed type: who would want to
read this, even if they requested it?
• When this
catalog, for
The Highlander
TV show and
films, was
launched, all
body copy and
headlines were
white on dark
backgrounds
69

70. Design for easy reading and reap the
rewards of an awesome campaign
• When catalog
was redone
with black type
on light back-
grounds, sales
jumped 300%+
among
prospects AND
existing
customers
70

71. Color in action
• Note how
complementary colors
‘jiggle’ or ‘shimmer’
against each other
Customers avoid
reading type like that
• Notice how type in the
same ‘color family’ (red
on pink) is too hard to
read
• Can anyone read this?
NOTE: this is a VERY
common mistake!
Complementary colors on color wheel – same
value makes this too hard to read 71

72. Typesetting in colors
• Typography in black provides the best comprehension
• Typography in colors reduces contrast — does poorly when tested for
comprehension and response
• Even if strong value, the eye tires of reading color type faster than black
Compare:
• Do you feel anxious in a yellow room? Does the color blue make you feel
calm and relaxed? Artists and interior designers have long understood how
color can dramatically affect moods, feelings and emotions.
•
• Do you feel anxious in a yellow room? Does the color blue make you feel
calm and relaxed? Artists and interior designers have long understood how
color can dramatically affect moods, feelings and emotions.
•
• Do you feel anxious in a yellow room? Does the color blue make you feel
calm and relaxed? Artists and interior designers have long understood how
color can dramatically affect moods, feelings and emotions.
72

73. Fonts: another detail that affects response
• The fonts you choose will draw in your customer… or
send them packing!
• Serif fonts are documented to provide highest
readership, documented in legibility and
comprehension studies
• Sans serif fonts in typography will reduce readership
and response by up to 60% - and more if it’s a
condensed sans serif font
• ALL CAPS TYPE REDUCES COMPREHENSION BECAUSE
NOBODY WANTS TO READ IT. See why?
73

74. The font treatments can ALSO send
them packing!
• Initial Caps Distract The Reader and Reduce Comprehension
• Set type flush left, rag right. Ideally, with indent at start of
each paragraph to give the eye another way to scan
• Justified type reduces comprehension, legibility and
response
• Hyphenated words reduce comprehension, too.
• Research supports ALL of this: see Colin Whieldon’s book.
Type & Layout (link at the end of this presentation) and
many other studies
• Also proven in exhaustive studies by Dr. Siegfried Vogele of
the Direct Marketing Institute in Germany
74

75. Layout: reader gravity is real
• Headline must be bigger and
bolder than the body copy so the
reader’s eyes gravitate to it
• The eye finds the picture first —
then reads the copy
• Set copy to the RIGHT or BELOW
the image, to allow for their
natural progression
• NOTE: setting in 3 columns
increases readership and response
because it’s EASY to read; type
wider than 70 characters is
ignored!
David Ogilvy was right!75

76. Concept: the Devil’s here too!
• When developing concepts for brand, advertising, mail
and more…
– Don’t forget that your CUSTOMER needs to be
impressed by this – not your agency compatriots
– Your efforts are wasted if it’s an inside joke, an ego
project, or a chest-beating exercise (“People look to
us because we’re great”; “It’s our anniversary”; “Our
award winning blah blah is what you need, etc.”)
– In fact, the more impressed your buddies are by your
concept, the less it will probably work
76

77. Overworked concept/design
• If it looks
weird and
gross, your
customer
will be
turned off
77

78. Same product;
Common sense concept/design
• Answers customer concerns
• Too bad it’s so hard to read!
78

79. Under-thought concept
provides ham-handed
‘historical perspective’
• Xtime creates automated
systems for customer service,
used by Auto Dealerships.
• They believe that body copy
on an ad is too much – and
‘they just KNOW” that nobody
reads it
• Does this ad tell the reader
anything meaningful?
• Does the picture really tell the
story? (How often this week
have you seen this image?!)
79

80. Concept that
answers the most-
important question:
‘What problem will
Xtime take care of
for me?’
• Do your homework: This
idea came from walking
around auto dealerships
• Myth vs reality — best
creative is not produced if
there’s no time to do it
right
• This brought in scores of
highly qualified leads
80

81. Humor can work
if it emphasizes a
point clearly
• Read your prospect’s
mind… and answer
their concerns
• Media buyers laugh
when they see this —
but it tells them this is
irresistible media, and
they remember it and
check it out!
• Adweek award winner
for highest retention
81

82. There’s lots of thoughtless
design out there.
Don’t let this happen to you.
• Orange headline
• Light gray body type
• Light, sans serif fonts
• Orange and gray logo
• The ‘great deal’ is reversed out
of orange banners
• Concept??? Please
• The cost of this creative and
media buy was probably
$60,000 — wasted
82

83. P.S.: Your designer’s not reading the copy!
• Oops!
a line of
type covered
up by the block
of green
• Final Advice:
hire a
proofreader!
83

84. Learn more:
• http://www.amazon.com/Type-Layout-
Communicating-Making-
Pretty/dp/1875750223/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&i
e=UTF8&qid=1343175004&sr=1-
1&keywords=are+you+communicating+or+jus
t+making+pretty+shapes
• http://www.amazon.com/Handbook-Of-
Direct-Mail-
Communication/dp/0132087456/ref=wl_mb_
hu_c_1_dp
84

85. We’ll devil you into creating more effective work!
Herschell Gordon Lewis
HGLewis1@aol.com
Carol Worthington-Levy
CWL@Worthington-Levy.com