This document discusses the argumentative personality trait. It notes that argumentative people seek conflict and argue for its own sake, are close-minded and stubborn. They experience volatile emotions but lack self-awareness and regulation of those emotions. The document provides tips for avoiding unproductive arguments such as considering one's motivations, understanding other perspectives, reserving energy for important debates, focusing on facts over people, and waiting to react when angry or resentful. Argumentativeness can stem from conditions like ADHD where some people stimulate themselves through drama and placing blame externally.

1. The Argumentative Personality Trait
Pros
● Ambitious
● Hardworking
● Seeks self imporovemnt
● Stand up for themselves
● Arguing what is right
Cons
● Seeks conflict
● Argue for the sake of it
● Close-minded
● Stubborn
● Aggressive
Definition
Someone who is prone to starting disagreements.
They experience complicated, variable emotions,
and don’t know how to analyse or regulate them.
Not self-aware, typically in denial.
Fast Facts
1. Denial is the enemy of self awareness. ​If
everyone is saying you are a certain way, you
probably are.
2. “Aggressiveness should relate to healthy
competition, not ripping people apart for
countless unfounded reasons.”
3. Understanding someone else’s point of view
does not invalidate yours. This can help
develop empathy and perspective.
4. Argument and hostility can grow from
boredom.
5. They think of it as a debate or a regular
conversation while others view it as a fight.
6. Always need to be right, always someone
else’s fault.
Outcomes from Emotional Intelligence Tests
❖ Less Impulse Control- don’t consider
consequences for actions.
❖ Less Resilient- don’t handle stress very well.
❖ More difficulty problem solving- are often
frustrated and take it out on other people.
❖ Low self esteem- tend to focus on other
people’s shortcomings to take attention away
from their own.
❖ Less content with life- angry and complaining a
lot.
❖ More Negative mindset- pessimistic POV
❖ Less self motivated- easily frustrated and give
up.
❖ Less flexible- can’t take no for an answer.
Everything has to be done their way.
Note: this data comes from people who find
themself in conflict more often than normal
people.
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder
Many people with ADHD or ADD tend to create
drama as a way to stimulate adrenaline. They
pick on others to get a rise out of them and
stimulate their brain and raise their heart rate.
They tend to say the first thing that comes to
mind, calling themselves “brutally honest.” Often
reasoning that they are not responsible for
problems in their life. It is always someone else’s
fault. Making yourself a victim to someone else
takes away all of the power. They are very
oppositional and often refuse to listen to orders
without arguing, or have to be asked multiple
times.

2. Questions to ask before starting an argument
Do I really care?
Will I be changing this person’s mind by arguing?
Where are they coming from?
What am I trying to achieve?
If you ask yourself these questions before starting an argument, unproductive arguments can be
avoided. They are a waste of time for all parties involved because no one is learning anything and
there is no meaningful outcome. Only argue when the stakes are high. It also helps understanding the
why​ and other people’s perspectives.
What is important to me?
Does the outcome of this affect the Grand Scheme of things?
Is it worth my time? Consider ​Opportunity Cost
It is important to reserve mental strength for when you need it: Champions pick their battles. Every
argument takes its toll mentally, physically, and socially. Arguing and fighting might be second nature,
but ​Letting Go ​is a learned skill. There is only so much time, energy and resources in the world- don’t
get caught up in a scuffle when you need to invade fortified castles later.
What are the facts?
Do I disagree with the person or the argument?
If I didn’t know them,would I still disagree?
You can harbor resentment, lose control, become aggressive, and even subconsciously seek revenge
when things don’t go your way. Just because someone was wrong in the past does not mean they are
wrong today. It is okay to be angry, sad, or resentful and you can’t control that. What you can control is
your actions, you can cool off and regain level headedness in just 5 minutes. Wait to react.
Sources
https://www.additudemag.org/too-much-drama-relationships/
https://www.prweb.com/releases/2014/05/prweb11840418.htm
https://kevinhogan.org/argument/
https://medium.com/swlh/a-guide-for-the-argumentative-human-73103470dd28