The document discusses key concepts from "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens" including the Relationship Bank Account (RBA), thinking win-win, and seeking first to understand then to be understood. It explains that an RBA tracks positive and negative interactions with others, with the goal of making more deposits than withdrawals. Thinking win-win involves finding solutions where all parties benefit rather than some winning at the expense of others. Seeking to understand involves listening without judgment to understand others' perspectives before offering advice or opinions.

1. By John Peng
What are you doing
for others?
Impression of《The 7 Habits of
Highly Effective Teens》

3. 01 02 03
The Relationship
Bank Account(RBA)
Think Win Win Seek First to
Understand, Then
to Be Understood
·3 POINTS

4. OPTION
Get in the Habit

5. OPTION
RBA

6. Deposits vs. Withdrawals
XOPTION

7. Do Random Acts of Service
Sometime today, do a kind deed anonymously, like taking out the
trash, fixing your mom’s laptop, or making someone’s bed.
Organize a “positive social media attack.” Get your friends to attack
someone via social media with kind words and compliments.

8. Do Small Acts of Kindness
Buy a sandwich for a homeless person this week.
Handwrite a thank-you note to someone you’ve
wanted to thank for a long time.
Say You’re Sorry
Before you go to bed tonight, write a simple
message of apology to someone you may have
offended.

9. XOPTION
Think Win-Win

10. Win -
lose

11. Lose -
win

12. Win - win

13. XOPTION
How to think Win-Win
Competing Comparing

14. Competing
01OPTION
Let’s use competition as a benchmark to
measure ourselves against, but let’s stop
competing over boyfriends, girlfriends, status,
friends, popularity, attention, and just start
enjoying life.

15. 02OPTION
Comparing ourselves makes us feel like a wave of the sea tossed to and fro by the
wind. We go up and down, feeling inferior one moment and superior the next,
confident one moment and intimidated the next. The only good comparison is
comparing yourself against your own potential.
Life is like a great obstacle course. Each person has
their own course, separated from every other course by
tall walls. Your course comes complete with customized
obstacles designed specifically for your personal growth.
So what good does it do to climb the wall to see how
well your neighbor is doing or to check out his
obstacles in comparison to your own? That’ll just
distract you from your own obstacles.

16. Seek First to Understand,
Then to Be Understood
XOPTION

17. The Deepest Need of
the Human Heart
01OPTION
The deepest need of the human heart is to be understood. Everyone wants to be
respected and valued for who they are—a unique, one-of-a-kind, never-to-be-
cloned (at least for now) individual. People won’t expose their soft centers unless
they feel genuine love and understanding. Once they feel it, however, they will tell
you more than you may want to hear.

18. 02OPTION
Spacing out
Pretend listening
Selective listening
Word listening
Self-centered listening

19. 02OPTION
Self-centered listening
A sister who needs a listening ear says to her brother:
“I hate our new school. Ever since we moved I’m
like the biggest outcast. I wish I could find some
new friends already.”
Instead of listening to understand, the brother
reflects upon his own life and says:
“No, you need to start meeting new people and get
involved in sports and clubs like I did.”
Little sister didn’t want any advice from a well-
intentioned brother, no matter how good it was. She
just wanted to be listened to, for heaven’s sake.
Once she felt understood, only then would she be
open to his advice. Big brother blew a big chance for
a big deposit.

20. Genuine Listening
03OPTION
Ask yourself, “Which of the five poor
listening styles do I have the biggest
problem with — Spacing Out, Pretend
Listening, Selective Listening, Word
Listening, or Self-Centered Listening
(judging, advising, probing)? Now, try to
go one day without doing it.
First, listen with your eyes,
heart, and ears.
PLEASE . . . HEAR WHAT
I’M NOT SAYING.
Second, stand in their shoes.
Third, practice mirroring.

21. Genuine Listening in Action
03OPTION
First, listen with your eyes, heart, and ears.
I didn’t say you had an attitude problem.
I didn’t say you had an attitude problem.
I didn’t say you had an attitude problem.

22. Genuine Listening in Action
03OPTION
Sister says, “I don’t like our new school at all. Ever since we
moved I’ve felt like the biggest outcast. I wish I could find some
new friends.”
Big bro is smart, he’ll try mirroring:
“You feel that school’s kind of tough right now.” (Mirroring)
“It’s the worst. I mean I don’t have any friends. And this girl
Tabatha has been so rude to me. She is literally like the queen
bee in Mean Girls. Oh, I just don’t know what to do.”
“Sounds like you feel confused.” (Mirroring)
“I mean, yeah! I’ve always been popular and then suddenly no one
knows my name. I’ve been trying to get to know people, but it’s
not really working.”
“I can see you’re frustrated.” (Mirroring)
“Yeah. I probably sound like I’m psycho or something. Anyway,
thanks for listening.”
“No problem.”
“What do you think I should do?”

23. RBA Win-Win
Understand,
Understood
Communication