The essay reflects on the author's personal growth and communication style, heavily influenced by their supportive family and various communication theories. It explores concepts like symbolic interaction theory, cognitive dissonance theory, and expectancy violations theory, applying them to the author's experiences and interactions. The author emphasizes the importance of self-concept, adaptability, and the drive to challenge themselves while valuing personal connections and understanding social nuances.

1. Sydkne Rackley
Professor Truet
Intro Communication Theory
March 3, 2017
Growing up, I’ve always asked myself “Who do you want
to be?” I never struggled with finding that out, because my
parents made it easy for me and my siblings. They may tell you
their opinion on the subject, but they’ll always support us.
Family is very important to me, we support each other, and it’s
a very loving home. I think that’s why it’s so easy for me to try
something new or be a little adventurous because I was taught
not to be afraid of new things or the unknown. Which were one
of the many things that helped build my character and make me
who I am and get me to where I want to be. Communications is
a broad field and there are so many ways of communication it is
berserk. In this essay I’m going to take what we’ve learned
from class and apply it to myself to truly get to know who I am.
Within many different micro cultures, they have values and
symbols that are important to this specific group that they
belong to. For example, Punk subcultures are defined by
wearing darker clothes, maybe makeup, they have specific
music subscribed to them, as well as having others around them
that enjoy the same micro culture as them. Symbolic Interaction
Theory centers on the relationship between symbols and
interactions. It also views individuals as active, reflective
participants in their social context. Some themes of the theory
are the importance of meanings for human behavior, the
importance of self-concept, and the relationship between the
individual and society. By using the concepts within this theory,
I can easily describe myself within this theory. I can say that I
am a ‘vibes’ person if I feel like the interaction between myself
and another person was off it would definitely alert me that
maybe I shouldn’t really engage in conversation with them

2. anymore. I’m all for meeting new people and small talk, I don’t
mind truly getting to know a person but if the conversation is
forced I never am one to force a conversation. I’ll just keep a
mental note about our previous discussion and then judge
people based from that. Self-concept is very important to me,
after every conversation that I have, I reflect on it to see if it
was negative or positive and based from what I’m told I take it
as a good characteristic in myself or a bad one. For example, I
work at Red Robins and I’m often told that I’m a great server
and that I am a hard worker from coworkers, and managers to
guests. People often compliment me on those qualities, so I try
to uphold myself to the same standard anytime I go into work.
That’s a part of my looking glass self, sometimes I feel like I
may care what others think too much and it can impact me
negatively as well because it’s always easy to remember the
negative things said about you and people will often try to
improve themselves especially if others view them in an
unfavorable way. For instance, at work one of my tables were
mad because the food was taking a while, I was trying my best
to keep them entertained with fries and dipping sauces. But they
were ready for the main course which I wouldn’t be able to pull
out of a hat for them. I told them about the wait and they
flipped out on me and demanded to speak to a manager, going
on to say that I was rude. To my knowledge I didn’t think that I
was rude but the way that they perceived my actions made them
think otherwise and they announce it to my manager. After that
experience I tried to work on my facial expressions and tone of
voice so that people wouldn’t mistake me for being someone
who is rude. I’m always known for being nice, funny, and
confidential person, if you trust me with your personal business
I’d never tell anyone else. I like to be real and down to earth
with my family and friends, even to people whom I just meet. I
feel like a lot of people can sense that about me and I have a
magnet that always attracts me to small talk or making new
friends. Just like any parents they set standards for their kids
and expect their offspring to withhold certain values and reach

3. their goals. My father is undeniably the reason for my
Pygmalion Self. He sees all the talent within his kids and really
hold us to certain values, I like to sing and he looked up
auditions for Broadway shows, Xfactor, and even American
idol. He says all the time “My kids have so much talent and do
nothing with it” so I try to practice singing more and even plan
on to start going to some tryouts this summer. I try to always
push myself because I know that he worked hard to be as
successful as he is and he just wants the same for us so when
he’s gone he knows we’ll be okay. My parents are always
suggesting that we try new activities and new things keeping us
active and aware. It pushes me to do better and helps me
understand the definition of determination. Another example
would be that growing up my parents never checked mine nor
my siblings’ homework they trusted that we were doing what
were supposed to without having to be told. Which created a
Pygmalion Self to always make sure that I do my homework and
strive for more now so that I will be able to use my education to
it’s full extent.
Like I’ve stated before, I like meeting new people and I’m
good at making small talk and getting to know someone. I hate
the feeling of a conversation being awkward or feeling
uncomfortable speaking on certain things. I always try to avoid
that feeling, that feeling is called Cognitive Dissonance Theory,
it is the feeling of discomfort resulting from inconsistent
attitudes, thoughts, and behaviors. People are motivated to
reduce dissonance and will ignore the opposing view point,
change their beliefs to match their actions, or seek reassurance.
Being dissonant is something that I try to avoid because no one
likes to be around people whose views are opposed to theirs, so
I never ignore the opposing viewpoint I always try to change my
beliefs or seek reassurance. One time my friend asked me if I
wanted to get Cuban food in Montclair, she’s been to the
restaurant before but I hadn’t and she knows that I’m not too
fond of trying new food so we argued about it and I eventually
gave in and looked up the menu to see if there’s anything that I

4. would like. She gave me some recommendations but I’m always
skeptical when it comes to her food choices, because she will
eat ANYTHING! She also has a big food pallet so she never
finds certain food gross and she eats things that I don’t. Which
made me dissonant about going because I didn’t want to try
food and not like it, but I agreed to go and I ended up really
liking it. So afterwards I changed my mind about the restaurant
and we go back all the time now. CDT shows the platforms that
people will take to avoid different opinions on subjects or
conversations. I’m personally like that I don’t like the feeling
of feeling like an outcast but my dad and brother don’t care
about dissonance I think they prefer it that way, they love to
debate and beat their opinions into your head. This theory is
based from persuading others and decisions; the selection
process is a basis for avoiding dissonant information. I often
use selective interpretation when meeting someone new, even if
I haven’t met them yet and other people are telling me negative
things about someone I’ll tend to ignore it until I find out for
myself. I never like basing my opinion of someone from
someone else’s opinion, seeing that I perceive things differently
in my brain than the person telling me does. I can plainly see
the CDT within myself being that I never like to be on the
outside of groups, or having disagreements do bring me
discomfort because I’m not that type of person. Even within my
family, whenever someone has an argument or disagreement
with someone in the house they come to me for whatever reason
and they’ll talk about the disagreement and ask me do I agree or
to pick a side. But I never do, I like to mediate everyone else I
never get into the conflict. Dissonance makes me feel awkward
and uncomfortable especially within my group of friends, I hate
when they argue because it’s like they’re telling you to pick a
side without even saying it, It can be frustrating sometimes.
Another Theory that we’ve learned about so far would be
the Expectancy Violations Theory, which is a theory of
communication that analyzes how individuals respond to
unanticipated violations of social norms and expectations. The

5. theory was developed from the Nonverbal expectancy violation
model by Burgoon which described the personal space
possessed by a person and how people responded to its
violation. Expectancies are thoughts and behaviors anticipated
in conversations, they can be verbal or nonverbal. There are two
types of expectancies Pre-interactional which is what you think
before you meet them and interactional which is your thoughts
after meeting them. If I’m not at school than I’m usually at
work and the proxemics zones are typically the same, at school
and work I keep a personal distance from people. Sometimes I
find it hard to not invade others privacy at work when I must
put something down on the table or maybe clearing plates off
the table. I try to make sure that they’re done before I reach into
their personal space or ‘intimate space’ because some people
find that rude or disrespectful. Other than that, I never get in
anyone’s personal bubble because I know it can be annoying. In
my first-grade class, there was a boy named Matt we were really
good friends but he would talk to me so close to my face I can
smell what he just ate, and I never really told him to back up
because I didn’t see a problem with it. But one day as I was
saying goodbye to my friends she noticed Matt was closer than
all the other kids when we spoke and she asked me why does he
stand so close I told her that I didn’t know and she told me not
to let him talk to me so closely, to politely ask him to take a
couple steps back. But children don’t have any boundaries when
it comes to things like that until we get older and began to
realize we shouldn’t be talking with our faces this close to each
other. After that one experience, I learned about personal space,
Expectancy violation theory emphasizes an individual’s
perception of the interaction in a particular situation. People
while communicating will create an expectation of how the
other will react. Violation to this expectation can cause to a
perception that will be positive or negative. People behave
differently according to the cultural values they grow up in and
this influences the reaction of the people considerably.
Expectancy in people are determined by three factors,

6. interactant characteristics, interpersonal characteristics, and the
environment. They all come into play when speaking about
EVT. When I was younger maybe six or seven years old like
every little kid you give me some markers, or crayons and leave
me in the room alone I’ll most likely write on something. Which
I did, I wrote my name all over the room with a sharpie, not
only on the walls but my desk as well. My mom walked in and
saw the walls I was expecting the worse punishment possible,
but she didn’t yell she told me I was doing a good job writing
my name but I was writing my S’s backwards. I was so shocked
I didn’t know what to say back. Then later that day we went to
the store to get paint for my room as well as some letter tracing
coloring books, and my mom handed them to me and said if I do
it again, I’ll feel the pain. I never wanted to find out what kind
of pain so I never did it again, but that was definitely as time
that I encountered EVT and luckily didn’t get reprimanded.
Some aspects of the theory that help describe me would be the
three characteristics of EVT. Especially the interactant
characteristics like, age, sex, personality traits, as well as the
environment setting that we’re in. It refers to the cultural
influence as well as the social situation in which we’re in at that
moment and all these factors lead to an expectation in behavior
to which I can conceive the violation from the expected
behavior as positive or negative. Definitions of myself using the
Expectancy Violation Theory would have to be usually
predictive, because I’m in contact with the same people
everyday, my days are kind of routinized. Especially when I’m
at work if I see someone’s drink getting low, or maybe they’re
down to their last three fries, I will assume that they’d like
more and bring out more. Sometimes I’m right and sometimes
I’m wrong but it’s just an expectation that I know is more than
likely going to come so I try to prevent myself from having to
run back and forth like a mad scientist. Another definition of
myself using EVT would be that I definitely value my own
personal space but sometimes I touch people when I laugh or
talk which sometimes bothers others so I try not to because I

7. know that I wouldn’t want anybody to do it to me. I’m usually
always in a public space because I’m usually at home, or work.
While taking the Kiersey Temperament test I had received
the result of an Idealist Champion, we were described as people
who love to take on new things but once we’ve gotten it down
packed we’re ready to move on to the next project. Which is
very true, I get bored easily and once I do whatever was holding
my attention before doesn’t hold the same attention anymore so
I’ll often go find a new hobby or adventure to partake in.
Another characteristic of a champion are that, they’re good with
people and usually have a wide range of personal relationships.
Which is also very true for me, I am an automatic engaging
person, strangers will often walk up to me and have a five to
ten-minute conversation about their personal lives. I am a good
listener and I think that’s what people value the most, I’ll give
me opinion if it was requested, but other than that I’ll never
force my opinion on anyone. Like I said before, everyone in my
house always comes to me to vent and I always stay neutral. I
hate negativity and if I feel like you’re that kind of person I’ll
stay away from you. I’m the kind of person who can tell right
off of the bat if I can befriend you and if I feel like I can’t I
won’t force it, I’ll just keep my distance from you. There was
this girl that I knew since ninth grade and all my friends liked
her, but I didn’t there was just something about her that I didn’t
like. So, whenever we all hung out I’d just talk to everyone else
and not engage in conversation with her. Eventually later into
our high school careers all my friends that used to like her
didn’t even talk to her anymore because she just wasn’t a good
person and they finally saw it. But I picked it up right away
from the jump that I shouldn’t engage with her and I was right.
I always like to trust my gut feeling even because whenever I
don’t I regret it. The drive of a champion makes us the most
vivacious and inspiring of all the other types. We are
passionately individualistic, Champions strive toward personal
authenticity, and the intention to always be themselves. At the
same time, Champions have outstanding natural powers and can

8. tell what is going on inside of others, reading hidden emotions
and giving special significance to words or actions. In fact,
Champions are constantly scanning the social environment, far
more than the other Idealists, Champions are keen and probing
observers of the people around them, and are capable of intense
concentration on another individual. Their attention is rarely
passive or casual. Furthermore, Champions tend to be extra
sensitive and alert, always ready for emergencies, always on the
lookout for what's possible. I believe that these aspects of an
Idealist champion are bestowed in me. Even though my
temperament type is rare, we can inspire people with our
enthusiasm and idealism.