The document outlines a writing paper focused on comparing and contrasting two texts while exploring the concept of happiness through personal views. It emphasizes the importance of using personal experiences and critical thinking to define what constitutes 'a good life,' integrating quotations from the assigned readings. Additionally, it delves into self-concept and intrapersonal communication in relation to how individuals perceive themselves and communicate with others.

1. Comparison/Contrast Paired Texts on
Pages 611 and 615, with prompt 3 in Suggestions for Writing
Page 619 (Chapter 29).
This paper is based on the two texts Page 611 and Page 615 and
necessarily calls for the compare/contrast pattern of
development but use other patterns as well.
This paper must address the principal question (top of Page
620): What does happiness mean to you? You must again share
your personal views on this topic, and the question calls for
your definition of happiness. Your views will dominate the
paper with a demonstration of your ability to explore a difficult
topic in depth, but you must also integrate quotations from the
two texts (Pages 611 and 615). Not only will you compare and
contrast the views of these two authors but also compare and
contrast them with your own. Include a discussion of the long
quotation by Eric Weiner in the prompt pages 619-620.
The prompt paragraph Pages 619-620 makes it clear that you
must write about your interpretation of happiness that includes
the factors that, for you, contribute greatly to having what you
personally define as “a good life.” Do not summarize or
reinterpret the two texts. Write a personal opinion paper and use
sources in the textbook and outside to illustrate and support
your comments. Use examples from personal experience as well.
As in all essays, avoiding the obvious is crucial. Show your
critical thinking skills with comments, questions, explorations
of aspects of the topic, and ideas that are not self-evident and
that you can support with good reasoning and examples. The

2. focus of your reasoning must be personal variations in a
definition of “the good life.”
Review other recommendations made in the prompts for Essays
1 and 2. The paper must be 7 pages minimum.
Prompt
Text 1
Text 2
Interpersonal Communication
Begins with the Self: An
Introduction to Intrapersonal
Communication
Learning Objectives
In this chapter, readers will explore how our intrapersonal
communication and who we are influ-
ences how we communicate with others. By the end of this
chapter, readers will be able to
• Understand how communication is related to self-concept

3. and define self-concept,
self-esteem, and self-image and how they are created
• Explain how biological sex and gender orientation shape
our identity
• Understand how we can develop communication
competence
• Define strategies for improving our intrapersonal
communication
2
Willem Dijkstra/iStockphoto/Thinkstock
Communication and the Self-Concept Chapter 2
Introduction
Whenever you communicate with others, your view of the world
and who you are as an indi-
vidual influence the interpersonal interaction. If you are asked
to tell someone about yourself, to
introduce who you are as an individual, what do you say? Try
this short, simple exercise. Take
out a piece of paper and a pen or open a blank document on
your computer and write “I am . . .”
Now set a timer for five minutes and complete this sentence by
writing as many brief, different
descriptions of yourself as possible. Try not to think too much
about each description; just jot
down what comes to mind.
When the five minutes are over, review the list of traits and
characteristics you compiled. What
kinds of categories emerged? Did you list physical qualities

4. such as biological sex, ethnicity, or
an aspect of your appearance (“I am tall”)? Did you include
roles that you play, such as student,
accountant, or parent? Did you associate yourself with a group
such as a religious affiliation, com-
munity organization, or sports team, or with a hobby or activity
that you enjoy? Were any of your
descriptions about the relationships you have with others (“I am
Carl’s girlfriend” or “I am Abby’s
father”)? Did you describe any of your personality
characteristics, talents, or abilities? Did you
note an aspect of your online persona (“I am a food blogger”)?
As you will learn in this chapter, you create your own reality.
Social scientists use many terms
such as self-concept, self-image, and self-esteem to describe
your “self.” Intrapersonal commu-
nication refers to the internal communication within and to
yourself. You communicate with
yourself in a number of ways, some of which are similar to the
conversations you have with other
people. Your thoughts are a form of intrapersonal
communication. You also communicate with
yourself when you send verbal messages to yourself, either out
loud or silently. For instance, you
might congratulate yourself with a message such as, “Wow, I
did a great job on that project,” or
scold yourself by saying, “I’m an idiot for doing that!” You also
communicate by being a friend to
yourself with statements such as, “You need a break,” or by
encouraging yourself with statements
like, “You can do this. I know it.”
Chapter 2 examines the conscious and unconscious factors that
influence how you see yourself
and how you communicate with yourself. In this chapter, you

5. will attempt to answer “Who am
I?” by exploring the terms self-concept, self-image, and self-
esteem along with factors such as bio-
logical sex, gender orientation, online presentation of self, and
communication competence that
influence your communication with yourself and with others.
You will also learn ways to improve
your communication competence over your lifetime.
2.1 Communication and the Self-Concept
Consider again the exercise presented in the chapter
introduction. The contents of this list differ
for every person and represent their unique self-concept. Self-
concept can be defined as one’s
description or portrayal of him- or herself as a person, “based
on an organized collection of
beliefs and feelings about oneself ” (Myers, 1993, p. 188). Self-
concept is comprised of the qualities
that are present in an individual (Bailey, 2003). The list that
you created, which we will refer back
to throughout this chapter, shows that you have several
components to your self-concept. These
components of “you” are shaped and altered by aspects of self-
concept, including the looking-
glass self, social comparisons, culture, and the self-fulfilling
prophecy. Together, these compo-
nents combine to create who you are and shape your self-
concept over time.
Communication and the Self-Concept Chapter 2
How Self-Concept Is Created
Where does your concept of self come from? Most researchers

6. believe that who you think you are
is a complex mix of how you see yourself; how others see you;
what parents, teachers, and peers
have told you about yourself that you have recognized and
internalized; and what your society
or culture tells you that you are or that you should be. For
example, psychologist Michael Argyle
(1983) provided a summary of four key factors that contribute
to development of self-concept:
• The reaction of others
• Your comparison with others
• The social roles you play in society
(e.g., I am a mother/father and a
teacher so I have to watch my lan-
guage and behave in a certain way)
• The groups with which you identify
Your self-concept is learned; it is organized,
it is dynamic, and it is changeable over time
(Purkey, 1988). You construct this sense of
self through communication with yourself
and with others—by what you tell yourself
and what others tell you about yourself. In
other words, your self-concept is first exter-
nally imposed by others and then internally
incorporated in your thoughts, feelings,
actions, and communication.
When you were born, you had no clear con-
cept of yourself. However, you expressed
yourself by communicating with others
through cries and other sounds, through
facial expressions, and through bodily

7. actions such as grabbing a finger that was extended toward you.
At some point you realized that
your behavior resulted in responses from others. You cried and
received something to eat, or your
diaper was changed. Then your behavior became purposeful:
You made that cry or that facial
expression because you had learned that doing so would elicit a
response from others. You most
likely did not think through this action and reason “If I cry, I
will be fed or changed,” but, at a con-
scious or unconscious level, you communicated because you
wanted to achieve a specific goal.
As you matured, your behavior was more consciously planned to
get your needs and desires met.
Throughout life, you have an infinite number of opportunities to
express yourself and to interact
with people. These people may express opinions about your
behavior by smiling or frowning at
you or by making verbal judgments about your behavior or
appearance. “That baby sure cries a
lot, doesn’t he?” “You are a very pretty child.” “She is stubborn
and willful.” “He plays well with
other children.” The opinions that other people express to you
or about you affect you in ways you
might not realize. They influence the way you see yourself, the
way you respond to difficulties in
life, and the way you interact with others.
Through your communication with others, with your words and
your nonverbal behaviors, you
can influence the perceptions others have of you (Yeung &
Martin, 2003). In fact, part of the
Stockbyte/Thinkstock

8. ▲▲ The social roles you play and the groups you identify with
can contribute to your self-concept.
Communication and the Self-Concept Chapter 2
way you construct your self-concept is by choosing to accept or
reject what other people tell you
about yourself. To grow and learn about yourself, you must be
open-minded about other people’s
opinions. At the same time, you can also choose to disregard
statements that others make about
you, if you do not think they are valid. For example, if someone
judges you in a way that you do
not accept, try to respond by saying (to yourself or to someone
else), “Thank you for your opinion.
That’s an interesting story, but it isn’t my story. It is not true
for me.” How you evaluate your skills
and abilities, how you perceive objects and situations in the
world, your values, your vocabulary,
and your ability to use language all influence how you
communicate. Though self-concept is an
internal process, it is learned, maintained, and can change
through interpersonal communica-
tion. Now, let’s look more at what contributes to our self-
concept.
The Looking-Glass Self
Humans are social beings, and in the early twentieth century,
American sociologist Charles
Horton Cooley believed that people always see themselves in
relation to other people. Your sense
of self, he believed, is formed by imagining how you appear to
other people. Cooley used the term
looking-glass self to describe this view of your self-concept,

9. and the looking-glass self is the first
way that self-concept is created. He stated, “Each to each a
looking-glass / Reflects the other that
doth pass” (Cooley, 1902, p. 152).
Cooley’s rhyme suggests that other people are like a looking
glass, or a mirror, in which you can
view yourself from others’ perspectives. In other words, you are
always considering how you look
to other people. You might have a specific person in mind that
you want to impress, or you might
just have a general sense of “other people” and how they might
judge you. In essence, we treat
others’ views of us as clues to who we are. These clues may be
accurate or inaccurate, harmful or
beneficial, temporary or enduring, but they should not be
automatic. Look back at the “Who am
I?” list that you created. How many of those descriptions are
based on how you think others view
you? To what degree do these descriptions reflect how you view
yourself?
When you see yourself in a mirror, or think about yourself, you
may be pleased or displeased by
what you see, but not simply because it does or does not reflect
who you want to be. You also
imagine how other people will judge you. This judgment creates
a feeling in you such as pride or
embarrassment or humiliation. For example, in the presence of a
person you think is beautiful,
you may feel ugly. In the presence of someone who seems to be
less fashionable than you, you may
feel sophisticated and in vogue. According to Cooley (1902),
you are most likely to be affected by
the judgments of people who have authority over you such as
parents, teachers, and bosses.

10. You might argue that you, or someone you know, are not
affected by what other people think.
However, when you say, “I am not ashamed” or “I don’t care
about other people’s opinions,” that
does not mean that you have not considered them. In fact, to
come to this decision, you had to
make a conscious choice to disregard the judgment of others.
Instead of shame about an action
you took, for example, you might choose an attitude of apathy
and not allow yourself to be both-
ered by the opinion of others, or you might even feel pride at
disobeying the rules of society.
However, Cooley (1902) believed that the thoughts of other
people are always there.
Social Comparison
According to social psychologist Leon Festinger’s (1954) social
comparison theory, humans have
a fundamental impulse to evaluate their abilities and opinions.
When there is no objective assess-
ment such as a test or a numerical evaluation available, we rely
on social comparisons and eval-
uate our abilities and opinions by comparing ourselves to other
people. In particular, Festinger’s
(1954) theory specifies that this act of social comparison is
more likely to occur in relation to a
Communication and the Self-Concept Chapter 2
particular group that is important or central to you in some way,
called a reference group. The
results of these social comparisons—whether you conclude that
you compare favorably or unfa-

11. vorably to members of a group on a particular characteristic—is
the second element that con-
tributes to your self-concept. For example, you may think that
you must have certain possessions
because others in your reference group have them, or you must
communicate in a certain way to
fit in with a group you want to impress. Comparisons to certain
reference groups can explain why
teenagers adopt the dress and the slang expressions of their
peers.
Research has consistently found that individuals who compare
themselves to images in different
forms of media such as magazine advertisements, television
shows, and commercials also feel
dissatisfied with their own bodies (Nabi, 2009). Such findings
support Festinger’s (1954) social
comparison theory. Online interactions are also a source of
social comparison. For example,
one research study examined how the content of others’ social
networking profiles could impact
users’ social comparison processes (Haferkamp &Kramer,
2011). Using fictitious social network-
ing profiles, the researchers found that users who viewed profile
pictures of individuals who
were very attractive had a more negative image of their own
bodies than those who viewed unat-
tractive profile photographs. When male participants viewed
profiles of successful male users,
they perceived a larger discrepancy between their ideal and
their current career paths compared
with men who viewed profiles of less successful males
(Haferkamp & Kramer, 2011). It is thus
likely that the size and number of our reference groups will
expand as use of social networking
increases, making social comparisons even more significant in

12. shaping self-concept.
Culture
At the broadest level, the culture in which we are raised is a
third source of self-concept. Culture,
as we discuss in greater detail in Chapter 3, is inherently
interrelated with how we communicate.
The impact of culture is reflected in what others—including our
parents, authority figures, peer
groups, and larger social structures such as the media and
political parties and organizations—
tell us about ourselves. Culture also influences what its
members consider socially significant.
For example, psychologist Bella DePaulo (2007) calls American
cultural bias against individuals
who are not in romantic relationships “singlism,” and this
prevailing cultural belief could make
individuals who are single feel as if they do not measure up to
those who are in relationships, thus
contributing to a more negative self-concept. Because culture is
such a major part of who we are,
it can also have an impact on self-concept.
Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
Your interpretation of situations, as well as the messages that
you use to describe them, can affect
your approach to particular situations and, subsequently, your
behavior in these situations. Your
experiences condition you to see the world in a particular way,
and such perceptions are difficult
to change. Thus, in a very real way, you create your own
reality. You approach communication
encounters with certain expectations and, through your
perception and your symbolic use of
language, you can create a self-fulfilling prophecy in which you
see what you expect to see and

13. hear what you expect to hear. For example, when college
students enter a conflict interaction
expecting that it will be intense, they later report that it indeed
involved a number of intense
components, including the use of personal attacks, and they
experienced emotional upset and
subsequent interference with their day-to-day activities
(DiPaola, Roloff, & Peters, 2010).
Health communication researchers also describe a self-fulfilling
prophecy that can occur in
doctor–patient interactions (Perloff, Bonder, Ray, Berlin Ray,
& Siminoff, 2006): If a patient
believes that the doctor will not respect him or the questions
that he asks, he is likely to make
fewer inquiries during an appointment. The doctor will then
think the patient is not motivated
Communication and the Self-Concept Chapter 2
or interested in his health and will provide less information, or
information that uses too much
confusing medical jargon. The doctor’s response affects the
patient’s understanding, influences
the likelihood that he will follow treatment recommendations,
and confirms his belief that the
doctor does not respect him and did not provide the best
treatment. The best method for address-
ing such self-fulfilling prophecies is to keep in mind that your
expectations about a person or
situation should not control how you communicate in an
interaction.
Self-Image

14. Self-concept, as you just learned, refers to your view of
yourself in particular situations or with
respect to specific traits. Self-image, on the other hand, is a
more general, broad view of yourself;
you might say that it is all the characteristics of your self-
concept rolled into one complete picture
of yourself. Psychologist Dennis Coon (1994) defines self-
image as “the total subjective percep-
tion of oneself, including an image of one’s body and
impressions of one’s personality, capabili-
ties, and so on” (p. 471). Your self-image is more permanent
than your self-concept; it is the
combination of both your internal view of yourself and the
evaluation of others, as well as your
physical appearance, and the integration of your experiences,
desires, and feelings (Bailey, 2003).
For example, let’s say that when you were a child, you were
laughed at when you tried to dance or
failed to catch a fly ball in a baseball game. So on the list of
traits that make up your self concept,
which you created at the beginning of the chapter, you may have
listed that you are a poor dancer
or are a bad baseball player. If you have many negative
concepts such as these, you may form a
generally negative self-image of yourself as uncoordinated or
unathletic.
Your self-image is formed and transformed, over time, again
through your interactions and com-
munication with other people, as you internalize what you learn
about your strengths and weak-
nesses. This transformation, however, is very slow and gradual.
You continually receive evaluative
messages from others about you and your abilities, and through
this information you form a

15. mental image of your physical appearance, of your successes
and failures, of your adequacy, and
of your worth. Self-image tends to be an either-or set of
opposites. Either you think you are
pretty or you see yourself as ugly; you are smart or you are
dumb. When you have a positive
self-image, you appreciate your assets and
your potential, while being realistic about
your imperfections and limitations. When
you have a negative self-image, you focus
on your faults and weaknesses, distorting
failures and imperfections and minimiz-
ing your successes and talents (Cleveland
Clinic, 2009). Remember, though, that you
can change your self-image by refusing to
accept or believe what others have told you.
Body image is an important part of your
self-image. Your body image involves how
you think, feel, and respond to your physi-
cal attributes (Cleveland Clinic, 2009).
Research on body image is most preva-
lent with regard to women; however, men
have personal body image issues as well.
In recent years, diagnosed eating disorders
James Woodson/Photodisc/Thinkstock
▲▲ How you think about yourself, at every age, affects your
physical, mental, social, emotional, and spiritual well-being. It
can also influence your interactions with others.
Communication and the Self-Concept Chapter 2

16. among men are on the rise, and steroid and supplement use to
improve appearance or strength
has increased dramatically. These issues seem to be associated
with men’s preoccupation with
their weight, their dissatisfaction with their bodies, poorer
attitudes about health, and also the
growth of men’s fitness magazines (Tager, Good, & Morrison,
2006).
All societies have ideals for body image of both men and
women, and these ideals are reflected in
the judgments of family and peers as well as in art, literature,
and the media. Sports Illustrated
magazine’s annual swimsuit edition and People magazine’s
annual “Sexiest Man Alive” list are
examples of how media promote ideals of female and male
bodies. Research confirms this rela-
tionship: A meta-analysis found that, across 25 published
experiments, the more females are
exposed to media messages that depict a thin body ideal, the
lower their satisfaction with their
own bodies (Groesz, Levine, & Murnen, 2002).
Plastic surgery and body art such as tattoos are other ways in
which some people choose to alter
their bodies in hopes of changing their self-image. Cosmetic
surgery, once an activity that people
hid from others, is now performed at elite medical institutions
(Elliott, 2004). According to the
American Society of Aesthetic Plastic Surgery (2013),
Americans underwent over 10 million cos-
metic medical procedures in 2012. Cosmetic procedures,
particularly ones that are minimally
invasive such as injections and collagen fillers, also increased
87% from 2000 to 2011 (American

17. Society of Plastic Surgeons, 2012). Individuals also spent a
staggering $11 billion for cosmetic pro-
cedures in 2012, striving for a “perfect look,” a figure that
includes $6.7 billion for surgeries and
$4.3 billion on nonsurgical procedures such as injections and
laser treatments (American Society
of Aesthetic Plastic Surgery, 2013).
Self-image is important because how you think about yourself
affects your physical, mental, social,
emotional, and spiritual well-being and how you respond to
events in your life. Self-image can
also determine the quality of your relationships because you
carry that self-image into all your
interpersonal interactions with others. Weight reduction and
plastic surgery can be positive steps
to improving your view of yourself. However, your self-image
is not what you look like but what
you tell yourself that you look like. Changing your exterior self
also requires internal changes in
how you see yourself. Changing self-image takes time and
work. It requires you to think and feel
differently about yourself, and it means you must alter how you
respond to your body. People who
thought they were fat, for example, and lost a considerable
amount of weight might continue to
think of themselves as fat, even if they would no longer be
considered so by others.
Whatever image you now hold about yourself, your self-image
is not permanently fixed. Self-
image can even shift in elderly individuals as their
circumstances change. In one study of elderly
persons who had recently moved into a retirement home, this
change impacted their self-image
in three ways: (1) They felt that their bodies, over which they

18. now had less control compared to
when they were younger, had become less recognizable; (2) they
experienced greater physical and
psychological fragility and less freedom to make decisions or
come and go as they pleased; and
(3) they looked to small events, such as helping at mealtimes
and looking at photographs of fam-
ily, to provide them with inner strength and dignity (Franklin,
Ternestedt, & Nordenfelt, 2006).
As you age, every stage of your life is thus associated with
changes, but you can learn to accept
these changes and to develop a healthy view of yourself. If you
have a negative self-image, you can
learn to develop a more accurate view of yourself (Cleveland
Clinic, 2009). A positive self-image
begins by accepting and loving yourself and allowing yourself
to be accepted and loved by oth-
ers. The list below provides some strategies for improving your
self-image suggested by a premier
medical facility, the Cleveland Clinic:
Communication and the Self-Concept Chapter 2
• Review your self-concept list.
• Identify negative childhood labels.
• Challenge distorted thinking about yourself.
• Accept and love yourself as you are today.
• Refuse to accept media assumptions about the ideal body
appearance.
• Stop comparing yourself to others.
• Define some realistic personal goals and objectives about
your self-image.
• Develop your strengths.

19. • Give yourself positive affirmations.
• Remember that you are unique.
• Learn to laugh and smile at yourself.
• Remember how far you have come. (Cleveland Clinic,
2009)
Self-Esteem
Self-esteem consists of your broad sense of self-worth and the
level of satisfaction you have with
yourself; it is how you evaluate and judge yourself (Crocker &
Wolfe, 2001). A good self-image is
associated with increased self-esteem; a poor self-image often is
linked to poor self-esteem, lack
of confidence, and insecurity. Some researchers argue that self-
esteem is central to how we view
the world and to our quality of life, indicating the importance of
this aspect of self (Crocker &
Wolfe, 2001). Although it is desirable to have high self-esteem,
some individuals have such a high
opinion of their self-worth that they believe they are better,
more deserving, or more special than
others. An inflated self-image or extremely high self-esteem can
negatively impact your friend-
ships, work relationships, and romantic relationships.
Researchers have found that people who
keep trying to prove their worth focus excessively on
themselves and have less successful rela-
tionships (Park, Crocker, & Vohs, 2006).
On the other hand, people who have low self-esteem tend to
engage in excessive attempts to
seek reassurance of their self-worth from others. They look for
affirmation to make themselves
feel more secure. However, the attempts frequently backfire,
and they end up pushing away the

20. people they most want close to them. Because a person with low
self-esteem needs constant reas-
surance, other people begin to feel frustrated and irritated and
often socially reject the person
(Van Orden & Joiner, 2006). In these and other types of
interactions, self-esteem can influence
interpersonal communication. For example, the more we
perceive that our romantic partners are
committed to us and to our relationship, and the more we
ourselves experience this relationship
commitment, the higher our self-esteem (Rill, Baiocchi, Hopper,
Denker, & Olson, 2009). We can
also use communication to provide others with esteem
support, which “is a form of social sup-
port that is provided to others with the intent of enhancing how
they feel about themselves and
their attributes, abilities, and accomplishments” (Holmstrom &
Burleson, 2011, p. 326). Amanda
Holmstrom’s (2012) research has found that esteem support is
particularly helpful to others when
it is offered as praise, as a comparison of the situation to
someone or something that is worse, or
as an expression of caring and affirmation that the situation will
ultimately end well. Providing
others with praise, affirmation, and acceptance in these ways
can then assist in raising those
individuals’ self-esteem (Vonk, 2006).
In fact, Roos Vonk (2006) argues that being accepted and
affirmed by those we are close to
is the best path to truly raising our self-esteem; this acceptance
from others allows us to feel
Self-Expression and Interpersonal Communication Chapter 2

21. comfortable and on solid ground. Because we feel this comfort
and stability, we then become
more open and less defensive with others, and we start to feel
relaxed and in control. This feeling
translates into our increased ability to grow and to be more
determined to better ourselves. This,
in turn, reinforces our increased self-esteem (Vonk, 2006).
Thus, the relationship between self-
esteem and how we relate to others is crucial for building and
maintaining increased self-esteem.
Healthy self-esteem means thinking highly of yourself and that
you can easily create and sustain
the confidence that is essential to your successes in life. You
have to work to develop your self-
esteem. When you are successful at something, you create
confidence in yourself. This confidence
enables you to take on new challenges, and each new success
leads to further self-confidence and
increased self- esteem (see Web Field Trip for more on how
social media can build sense of self).
W E B F I E L D T R I P
Social Media Use and Our Sense of Self
Researchers Jean M. Twenge and W. Keith Campbell have
coined the term narcissism epidemic to
reflect the broad cultural aspects that might play a role in an
excessive sense of self-interest and
entitlement. Social media use is one such aspect of this self-
involvement. In an opinion piece for the
New York Times (http://www.nytimes.com/), Twenge deciphers
the possible connections between
social media use and positive self-views. Conduct a search on

22. the New York Times website for
Twenge’s article, “It’s a Narcissism Enabler,” and then take a
moment to read about the premise of
The Narcissism Epidemic
(http://www.narcissismepidemic.com/index.html). Then
consider the ques-
tions provided.
Critical Thinking Questions
1. Do you agree with the assessment that individuals who are
more self-interested tend to thrive on
social media? Why or why not?
2. What connections does the author find between social media
use and self-esteem?
2.2 Self-Expression and Interpersonal Communication
Now that you have a better understanding of the self and the
factors that create your self-concept,
self-image, and self-esteem, how do these aspects of the self
affect your communication with
other people? Refer back to the “Who am I?” list that you
created at the beginning of this chapter.
Do any of the categories or descriptions of who you are
influence how you communicate with
others? If so, why are these categories so central to how you
communicate with people? Has your
communication from others shaped which descriptions are most
important to who you are?
So far in this chapter, we have focused on how the messages
from others throughout your life
affect your view of the self. However, a great deal of research
in the fields of communication and
psychology has determined that just as your interpersonal

23. communication with other people
affects your view of yourself, the way in which you
communicate internally also has an effect on
your ability to build positive relationships with other people. A
consistent set of attitudes that
define who you are—your identity—affect your communications
with yourself and with others
and will be discussed in Chapter 3, but two other important
ways in which intrapersonal and
interpersonal functions are interrelated are described next.
http://www.nytimes.com/
http://www.narcissismepidemic.com/index.html
Self-Expression and Interpersonal Communication Chapter 2
Biological Sex and Gender
One of the most controversial topics in communication concerns
the communication styles of
men and women and the question of whether the two sexes
really communicate differently. This
question is best answered by focusing on how communication
scholars characterize sex. If we
only measure how males and females biologically differ—which
the majority of communication
researchers do by simply comparing how males and females
communicate—the differences are
almost nonexistent. In fact, a landmark analysis of over 1,000
research studies that compared
males’ and females’ communication patterns based on their
biological makeup found that biolog-
ical sex differences only provide 1% of an explanation for how
and why we communicate the way
that we do (Canary & Hause, 1993). In other words, according

24. to this analysis, whether we are
born and live biologically as a male or a female has little to no
influence on how we communicate
interpersonally. But researchers can also consider male and
female differences in communication
by focusing on socially and culturally constructed ideas of sex
and gender.
Gender Orientation
Biological sex and gender orientation are related
but different. Biological sex is physiologically deter-
mined. Gender orientation, on the other hand, is
psychologically created and is based partially upon a
combination of one’s biological sex, group member-
ship, and culture, and a host of other individual, rela-
tional, and societal factors. Specifically, one’s gender
orientation is a “social, symbolic construction that
expresses the meanings a society confers on biologi-
cal sex” (Wood & Dindia, 1998, p. 20). In fact, some
researchers argue that gender orientation can be
a problematic way to consider differences between
males and females because it is at least partially based
on a society’s gender stereotypes (Canary & Hause,
1993). Others note that gender orientation involves
identifying with norms for feminine and masculine
sex roles (Wheeless & Duran, 1982). This means that
some people’s gender orientation can be more influ-
enced by traditional roles and social norms than oth-
ers. However, because gender orientation takes into
account an individual’s physiological makeup and his or her
environment, it is typically a better
representation of males and females than biological sex alone.
When directly comparing biological sex and gender orientation
in relation to different aspects

25. of interpersonal communication, gender orientation is
consistently a better predictor. For exam-
ple, researchers found that gender orientation was a more useful
concept than biological sex
for understanding how romantic partners express jealousy
(Aylor & Dainton, 2001). Specifically,
masculinity was associated with destructive, antisocial methods
of expressing jealousy, and
femininity was linked to a direct, constructive form of jealousy
expression called integrative
communication. In addition, gender orientation is a better
predictor than biological sex when
understanding how individuals maintain their relationships
(Stafford, Dainton, & Haas, 2000).
Like biological sex, we all possess a particular gender
orientation. Gender orientation should not
be considered as on a continuum, with masculinity and
femininity at each extreme and androg-
yny at the midpoint. Instead, each gender orientation is an
individual construct or dimension
Creatas Images/Creatas/Thinkstock
▲▲ Unlike biological sex, which is physiologically deter-
mined, gender orientation is a social construction
based upon a combination of several different indi-
vidual, societal, and relational factors.
Self-Expression and Interpersonal Communication Chapter 2
that is uniquely related to behavior (Stephen & Harrison, 1985).
For example, a masculine gender
orientation is consistently linked to the increased use of

26. instrumental and assertive communica-
tion in interactions, including accomplishing goals, influencing
others, or finishing a job or task,
whereas a feminine orientation is more closely associated with
expressive and affiliation messages
such as focusing on relational communication, closeness with
others, and emotions (Aylor, 2003;
Palomares, 2012). An androgynous individual, who possesses
aspects of both masculine and
feminine gender orientations, could have more satisfying
relationships than either masculine or
feminine individuals because he or she has the advantage of
being able to employ both commu-
nication styles with some degree of skill (Ickes, 1985).
Androgynous individuals also are best able
to adapt and be flexible, as well as focus on and be positive
toward others, during interpersonal
interactions (Wheeless & Duran, 1982). If you are curious about
your own gender orientation,
one of the most popular assessments of this concept, Sandra
Bem’s (1974) Sex-Role Inventory is
provided in the Self-Test feature.
Different Cultures versus Gender Similarities Hypotheses
Another way to consider whether males and females are more
alike or different in how they com-
municate is by understanding two competing ideas: the different
cultures and the gender simi-
larities hypotheses. Linguist Deborah Tannen’s (2001) work,
which includes the bestselling book
You Just Don’t Understand: Men and Women in Conversation,
argues that men and women have
different communication styles because they grow up in
different worlds or cultures. Tannen
supports the different cultures hypothesis of gender,
as does John Gray, whose book Men Are

27. from Mars, Women Are from Venus, takes this notion quite
literally. According to this hypothesis,
although young boys and girls occasionally play together, they
spend most of their time playing in
groups of the same sex. Tannen notes boys’ and girls’ favorite
games are different, and their ways
of using language in their games are different as well. She
states:
Boys tend to play outside in large groups that are hierarchically
structured. Their groups
have a leader who tells others what to do and how to do it. . . .
It is by giving orders and mak-
ing them stick that high status is negotiated. . . . Boys’ games
have winners and losers and
elaborate systems of rules that are frequently the subjects of
arguments. (Tannen, 2001, p. 43)
Girls, on the other hand, says Tannen, engage in games such as
jump rope, hopscotch, or playing
house, where everyone gets a turn, cooperation is required, and
there are no winners or losers.
In contrast, Janet Shibley Hyde (2005) and Kathryn Dindia
(2006) are two of many proponents
of the gender similarities hypothesis, which states that
males and females are much more alike
than different in terms of how they think, feel, and
communicate. Though there are some differ-
ences between males and females, the differences are quite
small and generally inconsequential.
Dindia amusingly portrays the rather minimal size of these
differences by titling a book chapter
based on this position, “Men Are from North Dakota, Women
Are from South Dakota.” If we
consider which hypothesis the bulk of scholarly research

28. supports, in both communication and
psychology, the gender similarities hypothesis is
overwhelmingly upheld (e.g., Canary & Hause,
1993; Hyde, 2005). Thus, though biological sex is a central
aspect of the self, being male or being
female does not fundamentally alter how we think, feel, or
communicate.
Overall, we must be cautious about attributing communication
differences solely to biological sex
or even gender orientation. However, when you communicate
across gender lines, keep in mind
that, like culture, socialized gender roles or orientation may
slightly predispose women and men
to interpret messages differently in certain circumstances. As
you have learned thus far in this
text, in interpersonal communication, it is important to check
your perceptions with the other
person to determine if he or she interprets a message in the
same way that you do.
Self-Expression and Interpersonal Communication Chapter 2
S E L F - T E S T
Bem’s Sex-Role Inventory
To complete this self-test, use the following scale to rate
yourself on each item:
1 for never or almost never true
2 for slightly not true
3 for somewhat not true
4 for neither true nor untrue

29. 5 for slightly true
6 for somewhat true
7 for always or almost always true
1. self-reliant 22. analytical 43. willing to take a stand
2. yielding 23. sympathetic 44. tender
3. helpful 24. jealous 45. friendly
4. defends own beliefs 25. has leadership abilities 46.
aggressive
5. cheerful 26. sensitive to the needs of others 47. gullible
6. moody 27. truthful 48. inefficient
7. independent 28. willing to take risks 49. acts as a leader
8. shy 29. understanding 50. childlike
9. conscientious 30. secretive 51. adaptable
10. athletic 31. makes decisions easily 52. individualistic
11. affectionate 32. compassionate 53. does not use harsh
12. theatrical 33. sincere language
13. assertive 34. self-sufficient 54. unsystematic
14. flatterable 35. eager to soothe hurt feelings 55. competitive
15. happy 36. conceited 56. loves children
16. strong personality 37. dominant 57. tactful

30. 17. loyal 38. soft-spoken 58. ambitious
18. unpredictable 39. likable 59. gentle
19. forceful 40. masculine 60. conventional
20. feminine 41. warm
21. reliable 42. solemn
Scoring
Add up your ratings for items 1, 4, 7, 10, 13, 16, 19, 22, 25, 28,
31, 34, 37, 40, 43, 46, 49, 55, and
58. Divide the total by 20: This is your masculinity score.
Add up your ratings for items 2, 5, 8, 11, 14, 17, 20, 23, 26, 29,
32, 35, 38, 41, 44, 47, 50, 53, 56,
and 59. Divide the total by 20: This is your femininity score.
Female sex-typed: If your masculinity score is less than 4.9
(the approximate median for the mas-
culinity scale) and your femininity score is above 4.9 (the
approximate femininity
median)
(continued)
Self-Expression and Interpersonal Communication Chapter 2
The Self Presented Online
As mediated interactions continue to increase and become more

31. central in our interpersonal
communication, we are more aware of how we present ourselves
online. For example, Facebook,
which was launched about a decade ago in 2004, has 1.15
billion monthly and 699 million daily
users, as of June 2013 (Facebook Key Facts, 2013). In addition,
the number of Internet users on
Twitter doubled from 8% in 2010 to 16% in 2012 (Duggan &
Brenner, 2013). Such exponential
growth of these social networking sites also means that we have
new online arenas to help us
craft and showcase to others who we are as individuals. What is
unique about how we present
ourselves online versus offline? According to Catalina Toma
(2012), the nature of Facebook self-
presentation is shaped by the following technological
parameters, all of which could be applied
to other social networking sites as well:
• There is a large audience, including family members,
friends, acquaintances, and even
strangers.
• The asynchronous nature of social networking provides
extended time to think about and
create claims about the self.
• The ability to edit the content of one’s social networking
profiles allows users to continually
alter or refine presented information.
• These unique online parameters create a highly
controllable and selective presentation of
the self and should motivate users to design desirable, yet
honest, self-presentations.

32. Three-quarters of students reported that their Facebook profile
pages accurately represented who
they were (Stern & Taylor, 2007). A review of college students’
Facebook use determined that
the majority of student users posted personal information, such
as their birthdays, hometowns,
Male sex-typed: If your femininity score is less than 4.9 and
your masculinity score is above 4.9
Androgynous: If both your masculinity score is above 4.9 and
your femininity score is above 4.9
Source: Self-test reproduced by special permission of the
Publisher, MIND GARDEN, Inc., www.mindgarden.com from
the Bem Sex Role Inventory by Sandra Bem. Copyright 1978,
1981 by Consulting Psychologists Press, Inc. Further
reproduction is prohibited without the Publisher’s written
consent.
Consider Your Results
Use the table below and take another moment to evaluate your
scores. Then consider the following
questions.
Sex type Masculinity score Femininity score
Female below 4.9 above 4.9
Male above 4.9 below 4.9
Androgynous above 4.9 above 4.9
1. Based on your score, are you classified as more female sex-

33. typed, more male sex-typed, or
more androgynous? Are you surprised by your score and your
gender orientation based on this
self-test?
2. Do you think that the individual items accurately reflect the
specific gender orientation they rep-
resent in the test?
3. Do you think these scores illustrate the distinctions between
gender orientation and biological
sex?
Self-Expression and Interpersonal Communication Chapter 2
sexual orientation, and relationship status (Foon Hew, 2011).
By reporting this type of infor-
mation, Facebook users establish an online identity by
categorizing themselves as members of
specific demographic groups—such as by ethnicity, gender, or
sexuality—and even co-cultures—
such as fans of specific types of music, movies, or teams
(Pempek, Yermolayeva, & Calvert, 2009).
These online identities can be carefully constructed to reflect
cultural and social norms and
values and are accomplished by using positive language to
describe the user as being outgoing
and socially desirable (Zhao, Grasmuch, & Martin, 2008). In
fact, a positive image of one’s self on
Facebook significantly boosted students’ self-esteem (Toma,
2012).
However, online identity construction can also be less direct
and explicit. For example, the num-

34. ber and quality of one’s online friends is a more direct method
for examining online identity con-
struction (e.g., Utz, 2010; Walther, Van Der Heide, Kim,
Westerman, & Tong, 2008). Researchers
can also get a glimpse of users’ online personalities via images,
status updates, and posts on
friends’ walls (Zhao et al., 2008). These indirect sources of
information about an individual’s
online self continue to expand. Facebook, for example, now
includes the Ticker, which allows
users to view their friends’ Facebook activities in real time;
there are also image-based social
networking sites such as Pinterest and Instagram (Duggan &
Brenner, 2013).
What do these findings tell us about our online selves? First,
though we believe our online identi-
ties closely reflect who we are offline, there is evidence that we
have the motivation and ability to
craft slightly different, and likely better, versions of ourselves
online. These positive and selective
self-presentation options can improve our job prospects, as well
as our self-esteem. Second, it is
difficult to fully monitor and alter our online identities because
there are many direct and indi-
rect messages that can provide information about the self.
Finally, we don’t yet know how newer
sites such as Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest help to create and
shape online identities because
researchers have focused almost exclusively on the role of
Facebook. But because these newer
sites are either image-based or focused on a limited number of
characters, they are likely different
from Facebook in how they create the online self and so require
further study. Take a look at IPC
in the Digital Age to learn more about your Facebook self.

35. I P C I N T H E D I G I T A L A G E
What Does Your Facebook Profile Say about
How You See Yourself?
When you set up an online profile, you try to identify how you
see yourself and how you want
others to see you. You ask yourself basic questions: What core
things should people know about
me? Is it helpful or necessary to share my gender, birthday, or
occupation? Do I have a religious or
political view, and if so, is it important enough to my identity to
list it online? After you’ve set up
your online profile, you choose the people you want to associate
with and the groups you want to
join; you decide which of your hobbies and interests to include,
based upon how they affect and
reflect how you see yourself. And finally, you decide if you
should post pictures on your profile and
which pictures send specific messages about who you are and
what you value. Do you want to post
a professional portrait where every hair is in place, a photo
acting silly with friends, or a photo of
you hiking a particularly impressive mountain? Social
networking sites like Facebook prompt you to
contemplate such questions from a unique perspective. The
combination of items you post on your
page, including comments and images, is a representation of
you.
(continued)
Developing Communication Competence Chapter 2

36. 2.3 Developing Communication Competence
Before you read this chapter, many aspects of your self-concept,
self-image, self-esteem, and
self-expression were already an unconscious part of your life.
By focusing on and consciously
considering these factors, you have already taken the first step
to improving your intrapersonal
communication and your communication competency. What is
communication competence?
Competent sometimes has a connotation of “good enough” or
“passable.” However, as it relates
to interpersonal communication, the word can have an entirely
different meaning: Competence
is what we think of when we envision the qualities of a skilled
communicator (Spitzberg, 2000;
Spitzberg & Cupach, 2011). Communication researchers Brian
Spitzberg and William Cupach
introduced the concept of communication competence nearly 30
years ago, and their definition
of the essential aspects of communication competence is our
focus here. Though Spitzberg and
Cupach (2011) believe that being interpersonally skillful is
essential for developing interpersonal
relationships, they also estimate that 7–25% of adults are not
interpersonally competent. Yet with
some guidance, communication competence is an important
interpersonal skill that many indi-
viduals can improve.
Recall from the previous chapter that effectiveness and
appropriateness are both essential parts
of communication competence. However, these two concepts
can conflict, and learning to suc-
cessfully balance them can be a challenge. The following
sections will elaborate on both concepts,

37. briefly describe three factors that can improve your
communication competence, and introduce a
test that you can complete to determine your current level of
communication competence.
A research study conducted by undergraduates in
communication at Chapman University was
the first known to formally analyze young college students’
Facebook profile photographs. These
student researchers, led by Noelle Hum, argue that group
affiliations, hobbies, and other self-
categorizations on Facebook allow each user to construct an
image of the self, or an online identity,
that is communicated to other online users. A Facebook profile
photograph, along with a cover
photograph feature added in 2011, is “one of the most telling
pieces of self-disclosure or image
construction” (Hum et al., 2011, p. 1828). An analysis of 150
college student profile photos revealed
that these images tended to be posed, were appropriate for all
audiences to view, depicted little to
no physical activity, and contained only the profile user. The
content of these profile pictures was
also consistent for both male and female users. Hum and her
colleagues (2011) conclude that users
likely select their profile photographs with the goal of
portraying a professional, appropriate image
in anticipation of a postgraduation job search. Now apply these
findings to your online identity.
Critical Thinking Questions
1. Look at your Facebook profile photograph and think about
what it might convey to others. Is
your photo posed or candid? Does it show you engaged in a
physical activity or sitting or stand-

38. ing still? Is it appropriate (i.e., would you be embarrassed if
your 6-year-old nephew or your
grandmother saw it)? Are you alone in the photo or are there
others with you?
2. Think about these questions for other public online images of
yourself, including your Facebook
cover photograph, your Twitter photo, and the photos you post
if you have Instagram or
Pinterest accounts. Do these images offer information about
different parts of your identity? Did
you make a conscious choice to convey these different
identities?
3. Consider again the different photos associated with your
separate online networks. If each site
is meant to convey a different element of your identity, what is
the purpose of these separate
online identities? Why are they different?
Developing Communication Competence Chapter 2
Communication Effectiveness
Being an effective communicator means, quite simply,
achieving your goals. Effectiveness is
linked to your ability to get what you want from an interaction.
This can be as simple as achieving
shared meaning with another person; when the message you
encode is decoded in a similar man-
ner. Effectiveness can also involve specific goals, or intentions,
that you bring to and take part in
during an interaction. For example, you might make an
appointment with your boss at work to

39. ask for a raise, and, in this case, you would not classify the
communication as effective simply
because you and your boss both understand what the meeting is
about. Instead, you would feel
that the interaction is effective only if your boss agrees to
increase your salary. Thus, effectiveness
can be assessed at multiple levels of an interaction, but we tend
to focus on the immediate goal
of the conversation.
Though being an effective communicator seems simple, it
becomes more complicated when you
acknowledge that there are two communicators with separate
but interdependent communi-
cation goals. In other words, is it possible for both individuals
to be effective communicators,
to achieve multiple outcomes? The answer to this question
depends on a number of factors.
Consider again the meeting you scheduled with your boss at
work. If the communicators’ goals
conflict—you seek a raise but your boss’s goal is to not agree to
one—then it is difficult to achieve
mutual communication effectiveness. However, if you and your
boss compromise, each giving up
something in order to reach an agreement that works for both of
you, then you and your boss will
likely leave the interaction feeling as if you at least somewhat
accomplished your goals. However,
if both communicators have similar goals—you and your boss
both want you to get a raise—it is
much easier for everyone to feel as if they are effective.
Further, it is possible to still feel you are
effective even if you do not achieve all of your initial goals.
Communication is a process, which
means that your goals might change over the course of an
interaction or that a new goal might

40. become more important. Thus, if your boss responds to your
request for a raise by telling you that
the company is actually in trouble and that they are struggling
just to keep you on as an employee,
your goal will likely switch from seeking more money to
making a strong case to keep your job.
Communication Appropriateness
Communication competence is also linked
with appropriateness, or taking into
account the rules, norms, and expectations
of others in an interaction. For example,
communicators are appropriate when they
learn and follow rules during an interac-
tion, which are directions indicating the
obligated, preferred, and prohibited behav-
iors in certain contexts and situations
(Shimanoff, 1980). These rules take into
account the broader context of the inter-
action, and the context of the interaction
assists in determining which appropriate-
ness standards are to be met (Spitzberg &
Cupach, 2011).
Some rules are established by a society or
culture in the form of social norms. For
Jupiterimages/BananaStock/Thinkstock
▲▲ Social norms can help you determine what is appropriate
in a specific communication interaction. In U.S. culture, for
example, shaking hands with a new acquaintance is a custom-
ary behavior in professional contexts.

41. Developing Communication Competence Chapter 2
example, in U.S. culture, it is a customary social norm to shake
hands when you first meet some-
one in a professional context. Rules or norms can also be unique
to a relationship, such as monog-
amy when in an exclusive relationship with a romantic partner.
Some rules can even be specific to
an individual. For example, a professor might ask students to
refrain from using laptops or tablets
during class. Such rules and expectations are often implicit,
meaning that they are not directly
and clearly stated, yet we are aware of them. In fact, we are
often most mindful and conscious of
rules and expectations when they are broken.
As noted above, sometimes it is difficult to balance
effectiveness and appropriateness during an
interaction, but both are necessary elements of communication
competence. The ability to be
both effective and appropriate takes practice and shows that you
have interpersonal skill, which
Spitzberg and Cupach define as “repeatable goal-directed
behaviors, behavioral patterns, and
behavior sequences that are appropriate to the interactional
context” (2011, p. 489). You might
get what you want if you are effective but not appropriate, yet
doing so will likely upset, hurt, or
damage your relationship with the other person. Conversely, if
you follow the rules and act the
way you are expected to—if you are appropriate but not
effective— you might not get what you
want. However, communicators who make an effort to get along
and treat others with respect are
more likely to achieve their goals.

42. Factors that Facilitate Communication Competence
How can we become competent communicators? According to
Spitzberg and Cupach’s model
of communication competence, there are three things that can
assist us in being more com-
petent: (1) knowledge, (2) motivation, and (3) skill (1984).
Knowledge is the necessary awareness
of which behaviors or messages are best in a particular
situation. This knowledge can be about
content, such as the topic of the conversation or the other
communicator. For example, you might
have knowledge about someone’s food or movie preferences.
But knowledge can also be about
procedure, such as how an interaction should or could proceed.
For example, you might know
how to best solve a problem or predict someone’s reaction to a
message. Both content and proce-
dural knowledge can improve communication competence.
The second factor that facilitates competence is motivation,
which Spitzberg and Cupach (2011)
define as a force that energizes and guides us to approach or
avoid in a social situation. In other
words, we have to actually want to be effective and appropriate
in order to be competent. We may
have the knowledge that we need to be competent, but choose to
not use it. Conflict is an example
of an interpersonal situation where communicators often are not
motivated to be competent. If
you are engaged in a conflict with a close relational partner,
you might get so upset and frustrated
by the topic and the messages exchanged that you intentionally
decide to insult your partner,
punch a hole in a wall, or storm out—all of which display

43. limited communication competence.
Finally, skill is a factor that facilitates competence and is
similar to the general notion of inter-
personal skill discussed above. Skill is the ability to
demonstrate the behaviors deemed most
competent in a particular situation or context. Skill is dependent
on knowledge and motivation;
we must possess both before we can develop skill. However,
even if we are knowledgeable and
motivated, there is no guarantee we will be skilled in an
interaction. For example, you might
know how to behave and be motivated to act accordingly in a
specific situation, but perhaps you
still perform poorly. This type of response can happen in a job
interview, a public speaking situ-
ation, and even a first date.
Complete the communication competence scale provided in the
Self-Test here. Communication
competence is an important interpersonal skill, and it requires
awareness of our individual
Developing Communication Competence Chapter 2
communication patterns. Try to be honest with yourself as you
complete the scale, or even ask a
trusted friend, family member, or romantic partner to complete
it on your behalf. Then evaluate
your results and reflect on areas you could improve. The next
sections will discuss techniques for
improving your intrapersonal communication and developing
your communication competence.

44. S E L F - T E S T
Interpersonal Communication Competence
The following self-test is based on Spitzberg and Cupach’s
model of communication competence
(1984). Answer each item honestly as it currently applies to you
in typical conversations with others.
Use a 5-point scale for your responses to each item. Rate each
question according to the following
scale:
1 for strongly disagree
2 for slightly disagree
3 for unsure
4 for slightly agree
5 for strongly agree
1. I act in ways that meet situational demands for
appropriateness.
2. I successfully achieve my interpersonal goals.
3. I show my understanding of others by reflecting their
thoughts and feelings to them.
4. It is easy for me to manage conversations the way I want
them to proceed.
5. I show my engagement in conversation both nonverbally and
verbally.
6. I use a wide range of behaviors, including self-disclosure and
humor, to adapt to others.
7. I am aware of the rules that guide social behavior.
8. Once I set an interpersonal goal for myself, I know the steps
to take to achieve it.
9. I know that empathy means to try to see it through others’
eyes and feel what they feel.
10. I know how to change topics and control the tone of my

45. conversations.
11. I know how to respond because I am perceptive and
attentive to others’ behaviors.
12. I have enough knowledge and experiences to adapt to
others’ expectations.
13. I want to communicate with others in an appropriate
manner.
14. I am motivated to obtain the conversational goals I set for
myself.
15. I want to understand other people’s viewpoints and
emotions.
16. I want to make my conversations with others go smoothly.
17. I want to be engaged in the conversations I have with other
people.
18. I want to adapt my communication behavior to meet others’
expectations.
Scoring
Now we will identify your separate and overall communication
competence scores. To do this, we
will do a bit of math to determine your average score based on
the categories outlined in the sec-
tions below. This will give you a score, out of 5, where
Higher values (generally 3.5 to 5) indicate greater
communication competence.
Middle values (generally 2.5 to 3.5) indicate moderate
communication competence.
Lower values (generally 1 to 2.5) indicate less communication
competence.
(continued)

46. Improving Your Intrapersonal Communication Chapter 2
2.4 Improving Your Intrapersonal Communication
The relationship between intrapersonal and interpersonal
communication can be explained as
follows: Who we are as individuals is inextricably linked with
how we see the world, how we com-
municate with others, and with how others see us. Thus,
understanding the different aspects of
self—self-concept, self-image, and self-esteem—can help you
become a more competent commu-
nicator. Below, we offer some specific strategies to improve
your intrapersonal communication.
Your possible overall score will be between 18 and 90. Scores
for each of the nine subscales (skill,
knowledge, motivation, adaptability, conversational
involvement, conversation management, empa-
thy, effectiveness, and appropriateness) can be averaged to
obtain the communication competence
total score, or you can add up each of your question ratings and
divide the total by 18.
Subscales and Criteria
One dimension includes three subscales that are measured via
the following identified questions:
Skill—questions 1–6
Knowledge—questions 7–12
Motivation—questions 13–18
Instructions: For each of the separate dimensions, determine
your score by calculating the average
(add up your ratings for each question assigned to the
dimension and then divide the total by 6).

47. A second dimension includes six criteria that are measured via
the following identified questions:
Adaptability—questions 1, 7, & 13
Effectiveness—questions 2, 8, & 14
Empathy—questions 3, 9, & 15
Conversational management—questions 4, 10, & 16
Conversational involvement—questions 5, 11, & 17
Appropriateness—questions 6, 12, & 18
Instructions: For each of the separate dimensions, determine
your score by calculating the average
(add up your ratings for each question assigned to the
dimension and then divide the total by 3).
Sources: Self-test adapted from the eTrees Consortium (2013,
July 31), Needs Analysis Report (2013, July 31); origi-
nally based on data from Spitzberg, B. H., & Cupach, W. R.
(1984). Interpersonal communication competence. Beverly
Hills, CA: Sage.
Consider Your Results
As noted earlier, a higher score indicates a greater overall
communication competence. If one or
more of your scores are relatively low, these may be areas that
you need to be aware of, and you
should attempt to increase your skill in such areas when
communicating with others. Now take a
moment to evaluate your scores and consider the questions
below.
1. A high score indicates that you have some degree of skill

48. regarding that factor. Which factor that
facilitates competence did you score highest in? Which score
was lowest?
2. After reviewing the specific items that you rated the lowest,
are there specific elements of com-
petence that you can improve upon?
3. Based on what you have read in this chapter, how can you
improve one or more specific factor
that facilitates your communication competence?
Improving Your Intrapersonal Communication Chapter 2
Increase Your Self-Awareness
There are two techniques you can use to increase your self-
awareness. The first is to be conscious
about how you interpret your world. Take a step back and
evaluate how you communicate with
yourself and with others. Pay attention to what you choose to
focus on, and ask yourself what
internal factors, such as past experiences and self-esteem,
influence how you approach and per-
ceive a situation. Look for differences between past experiences
and present circumstances. Why
might such differences exist?
Education is the second technique you can use to increase your
self-awareness. Some people per-
ceive and understand significant differences or nuances in a
given scenario; elements that are not
noticed by people whose senses are not trained to perceive the
same things. For example, music

49. sounds different to a trained musician than it does to an
untrained ear, and wine connoisseurs
can perceive subtle flavors in wines that are indistinguishable to
someone who has not trained
his or her palate to recognize flavor nuances. As you continue
to study interpersonal communica-
tion, the knowledge you gain about the communication process
will increase your awareness of
how you and others communicate. Learning to use critical
thinking and learning to differentiate
among facts, opinions, observations, and inferences can help
you strengthen your self-awareness
and recognize that your view is one of many. See Everyday
Communication Challenges to learn
more about understanding how you communicate at the office.
E V E R Y D A Y C O M M U N I C A T I O N C H A L L E N
G E S
Workplace Feedback—Honestly Getting
to Know Your Career Self
It is difficult to objectively evaluate your own work
performance, as well as the image you con-
vey. However, you are often very aware of the strengths and
weaknesses of the people you work
with every day. So how do you learn to identify your value and
perceived image as an employee?
You can ask your coworkers and supervisor if they would be
willing to evaluate you. In fact, many
employers already use a form of employee evaluation known as
360-degree feedback. This type
of evaluation allows individual employees, like you, to get a
direct assessment of their work-
related performance from their employers as well as the people
in their personal lives. By using a

50. multi-rater feedback system, you can learn more about your own
strengths and weaknesses as an
employee.
Even if your workplace does not offer 360-degree feedback, you
likely receive some formal type of
feedback. For example, many companies conduct an annual
review of their employees according to
a number of factors, as well as offer comments about each
employee’s strengths and weaknesses.
Getting the honest opinions of coworkers, supervisors,
customers or clients, and even the people
who know you best outside of work may help you discern what
kinds of tasks you enjoy, are most
skilled at, and what areas of your job you can learn to grow
into. If the feedback includes construc-
tive criticisms, resist the urge to immediately discount such
comments. Remember that you have a
particular view of yourself and that others might view you
differently. Openly and honestly consider
all forms of feedback that you receive—both positive and
negative—and determine how you might
integrate this feedback into your future workplace interactions
to improve your overall performance.
This sort of feedback mechanism can help give you a better
picture of yourself. So if you want to be
(continued)
Improving Your Intrapersonal Communication Chapter 2
Accept Yourself
Review the “Who am I?” list you created at the beginning of

51. this chapter. Which of the items in
your list are positive and which are negative? Are there many
aspects you would like to change or
improve? Do you like yourself? If you accept and like yourself,
despite your faults and failings, you
are more likely to carry a positive attitude into your
interpersonal communication with others.
If you accept yourself as you are, you are more likely to accept
others as they are too. If you can
admit and forgive yourself for mistakes, you are more likely to
allow others to make mistakes and
to forgive them as well.
One way to build acceptance of yourself is to look at how you
interpret your own behavior and
consider how realistic you are in appraising your abilities and
behavior. Do you rationalize or
make excuses for unacceptable behavior or, on the other hand,
do you fail to give yourself credit?
For example, if you do well on a test, do you tell yourself that it
was just luck or that the test was
easy, or do you attribute your success to your hard work and
study? Another way you can better
accept yourself is to pay attention to and internalize the positive
feedback that you receive from
others.
Remember that you can choose what you will accept and “own”
about yourself and what you will
reject. Some people who received negative feedback about
themselves from other people when
they were children carry these negative self-images throughout
their lives. You do not have to be
a victim of other people’s opinions. You can, as an old southern
expression says, “Rise above your
raising.” You are not what others think of you, and you are not

52. necessarily what others have told
you that you are. You have the ability to create your own
identity.
Practice Your Skills and Be Adaptable
Finally, to improve your intrapersonal communication, you must
practice the communication
skills you are learning about in this text. Completing the
exercises and activities in this text, and
employing the tools you acquire, can help you be a more
competent communicator. In addition,
learning to be more aware and mindful of what works in your
interactions with others, and what
doesn’t, can build your knowledge, which then contributes to
increased competence. Adaptability,
however, is also an important skill you can develop to increase
communication competence. You
should strive to be flexible and tailor your messages to each
specific person and interaction; real-
ize that one message or way of communicating will not work in
every, or even most, situations.
Reflect on an interaction as it occurs and adjust how you encode
and decode messages.
a better communicator, seek out and consider the advice of
people who know you in each of your
different communication contexts.
Critical Thinking Questions
1. Review any formal feedback you have received for your work
performance. What were you
praised for? What were some suggested areas of improvement?
2. If you seek formal or informal feedback from coworkers or

53. your superior, what self concepts
from this chapter do you find to be most relevant to how you
responded to this feedback?
3. How can others’ feedback of your professional performance
uniquely inform how you communi-
cate and do your job in the future?
Summary and Resources Chapter 2
Summary and Resources
The self is a critical component in communication. It affects the
way you interact with other
people and the way they interact with you. Intrapersonal
communication occurs when we com-
municate with ourselves, via our thoughts, or internal dialogue.
Your self-concept is a collection
of the traits and characteristics you use to describe yourself.
Most researchers believe that who
you think you are is a complex mix of how you see yourself;
how others see you; what parents,
teachers, and peers have told you about yourself; and what your
society or culture tells you that
you should be. Your self-concept is learned, organized, and
dynamic, or changeable. You develop
your self-concept through interactions with other people who
act as a mirror reflecting to you
the way others see and judge you. This is known as your
looking-glass self. You internalize these
viewpoints of other people, and they affect the way you act
today as an adult and the way you
communicate with yourself and with others. You also compare
your abilities and opinions to
those of other people (social comparison). Culture has the

54. ability to shape how you see yourself.
However, you have the ability to view yourself objectively, to
change your self-concept, and to
make choices about what judgments of others you will accept or
reject.
Your self-concept gives rise to a broad, more permanent view of
yourself, your self-image. The
self-image is the overall mental picture you have of yourself—
the combination of both your inter-
nal view of yourself and the valuation of others, as well as your
physical appearance and body
image, and the totality of your experiences, desires, and
feelings. Self-image is important because
how you think about yourself affects your physical, mental,
social, emotional, and spiritual well-
being. It also influences how you respond to life and can
determine the quality of your relation-
ships with others.
Your self-image, in turn, results in your level of self-esteem,
the beliefs and feelings you have
about yourself. Self-esteem is tied to your interaction with
others. Esteem support from another
person can help you build your self-esteem. In addition, being
accepted and affirmed by others
can raise your confidence in yourself, which then helps to
enhance your self-esteem. However,
your self-concept, self-image, and self-esteem are not destiny.
You can build your self-image and
your self-esteem by successful experiences. Your successes
create self-confidence, which enables
you to take on new challenges and to increase your self-esteem
in an upward spiral of success.
You can also enhance your self-esteem through affirmations and
positive self-talk.

55. Aspects of your identity can also influence how you
communicate with others. Your biological
sex, which is the physiological difference between males and
females, is traditionally thought
to have a large influence on how we communicate. However,
research finds that this is not so.
Rather, our gender orientation, or our socially constructed
expression of how society views bio-
logical sex, is a better predictor of how we communicate than
our biological sex. This viewpoint
is also consistent with the gender similarities hypothesis, which
states that males and females are
more alike than different in how they communicate. In contrast,
the different cultures hypothesis
of gender states that males and females fundamentally differ in
how they communicate with one
another.
One way to improve your intrapersonal and interpersonal
communication is to develop your
communication competence. Being competent involves
balancing your effectiveness with your
appropriateness. This ability to balance is a skill that can be
developed by acquiring knowledge
about how to be competent, being motivated to be a competent
communicator, and further
working to develop and refine competence skills. Overall, you
can learn to change the way you
view the world and the way you communicate with yourself and
with others by increasing your
Summary and Resources Chapter 2

56. self-awareness, building an identity around acceptance of
yourself, and practicing the skills of
communication competence that you are learning in this text.
Key Terms
appropriateness A communicator’s consideration of the
other individual’s expectations during
an interaction.
different cultures hypothesis of gender Theory
stating that males and females are believed
to be much more different than alike in terms of how they think,
feel, and communicate.
effectiveness A concept linked to a communicator’s ability to
achieve a desired result in an
interaction.
esteem support Social support provided to others that
helps improve how they feel about
themselves.
gender orientation An individual’s psychologically
constructed gender identity, which is
based on a combination of social, cultural, and personal factors.
gender similarities hypothesis Theory stating that
males and females are believed to be much
more alike than different in terms of how they think, feel, and
communicate.
intrapersonal communication Internal communication within
and to the self.
knowledge Awareness of which behaviors or messages are

57. best in a particular situation.
looking-glass self An early theory about self-concept,
conceptualized by Charles Horton
Cooley, that states one’s sense of self is formed by imagining
how he or she appears to other
people.
model of communication competence A concept
identified by Spitzberg and Cupach that
identifies knowledge, motivation, and skill as three factors that
facilitate communication
competence.
motivation An inherent force that drives a communicator to
either approach or avoid an inter-
action during a social situation.
perception The process of acquiring, interpreting, and
organizing sensory information during
experiences, which conditions us to see the world in a particular
way.
reference group Groups we identify as important or central
to us in some way and that can
have a significant influence on our sense of self.
rules Directions, which are usually implicit, that indicate the
obligated, preferred, and prohib-
ited behaviors in certain contexts and situations.
self-concept One’s description or portrayal of him- or herself
as a person.
self-esteem The beliefs and feelings we have about our self-
worth; how we feel about ourselves.

58. self-fulfilling prophecy The tendency to see what we expect
to see and hear what we expect
to hear based on preconceived expectations.
Summary and Resources Chapter 2
self-image The total subjective perception we have of
ourselves including body image and
impressions of our personality and capabilities.
skill The ability to demonstrate the behaviors deemed more
competent in a particular context
or situation.
social comparison A concept, identified by Festinger,
that pinpoints the human impulse to
evaluate our abilities and opinions by comparing ourselves to
others.
Critical Thinking and Discussion Questions
1. Which aspect of the self—self-concept, self-image, or self-
esteem—do you find most challeng-
ing or are you most negative about in your own intrapersonal
communication? What can you
do to improve how you view that aspect of self?
2. How much do you think that others’ impressions of you affect
how you view yourself? What
can you do to combat the effect of negative external messages
on your view of yourself?
3. How much does your online self reflect who you are offline?

59. How much effort do you put into
how others view who you are online?
4. How much do you believe that your gender orientation
contributes to how you communi-
cate? Are there particular situations or conversational topics
where your gender orientation
becomes particularly important?
5. Which component of communication competence—
effectiveness or appropriateness—do you
tend to focus on in your interactions with others? How can you
improve your communication
competence using the concepts of knowledge, motivation, and
skill?
Evaluating and Strategizing
Your Own Interpersonal
Communication Competence
Learning Objectives
In this chapter, readers will consider various ways to engage in
interpersonal interactions in a
more competent way. By the conclusion of this chapter, readers
will be able to
• Assess and evaluate interpersonal communication success
• Create and manage expectations for interacting in various
communication contexts
• Understand how to successfully face and overcome
challenges in multiple communication

60. situations
• Apply methods for the formation, evaluation, and
reassessment of goals and plans for
improving interpersonal communication competence
11
Creatas Images/Creatas/Thinkstock
Introduction Chapter 11
Introduction
Think back to the interaction between Kim and Pat that we
presented in Chapter 1. In that sce-
nario, Kim and Pat used different channels (including e-mail,
mobile phones, and face-to-face)
to engage in a conflict with each other about what they were
going to have for dinner that night.
Their interaction ended rather abruptly, with Pat saying that
Kim’s making a big deal about noth-
ing and asking Kim to help figure out what to do about dinner.
Think now about how their inter-
action might have progressed from that point. There are a
number of different ways that Kim and
Pat could have ended their conversation. Instead of Kim saying,
“Oh, I’m making a big deal out of
nothing?” she could have suggested that they just agree on what
to eat for dinner. For example,
Kim might have said, “Well, let’s get pizza. We’re both
hungry.” With Pat replying, “Fine. I’ll order
it, and we can talk about something else.” This closing of the
conversation does not fully resolve
the issue but does at least allow both individuals to have their

61. say and conclude their interaction
fairly amicably.
But let’s also consider two other possible scenarios. In the first,
the conflict escalates, with Kim
screaming, “That’s because you NEVER listen to me! You are
so selfish!” and Pat responding,
“Well, all you do is blather constantly about nonsense, so it is
impossible to remember everything
you say.” Then, both Kim and Pat leave—Kim goes into the den
to play video games, and Pat puts
on his sneakers and goes for a run. The situation remains
unresolved, and the outcome is not
satisfying for either of them.
Finally, Kim and Pat could take the time and make an effort to
truly listen to and understand each
other. Kim could say, “I guess I had not made that clear about
being home early enough to have
dinner together. Sorry about that.” Pat replies, “OK. I will make
a mental note to pay more atten-
tion. I’m sorry too.” Here, Kim and Pat both feel that the
situation has been largely resolved, and
they are satisfied with the outcome.
Which of these three outcomes is the most competent? Why?
Even though we know when we
read these different interactions that the third outcome—
listening and understanding—is most
preferred and the most competent and that the second outcome,
conflict escalation, should be
avoided, we likely find ourselves in similar situations. How do
we get into the habit of using the
messages that increase our chances for communication success?
Throughout this text, our goal has been to assist you in

62. understanding and improving how you
interpersonally communicate with others. One important method
for you to communicate
more competently in interactions is by assessing and evaluating
your interpersonal commu-
nication patterns. This process can help you determine what
works and what does not work.
What expectations do you typically have when you
communicate with others? To what extent
do those expectations differ according to the context or
situation that you find yourself in, such
as in a business or professional or mediated communication
context? How do you respond to
challenges or difficulties in your conversations and in your
relationships? This chapter will help
you learn to set and manage expectations and identify
challenges in your interactions with
others across different contexts and situations. We will also
offer strategies and methods for
creating, evaluating, and reevaluating plans and goals that are
related to competent interper-
sonal communication.
Evaluating Communication Success Chapter 11
11.1 Evaluating Communication Success
How do you know if an interaction went well? Your will likely
feel an interaction is successful if
three elements take place. If you and your partner truly hear and
understand each other, validate
each other’s viewpoints, and conclude the interaction feeling as
if you both acted effectively and

63. appropriately. We saw these elements in the third possible
outcome of Kim and Pat’s conversation.
Throughout this text, we have discussed the importance of
communication competence as a
means for evaluating whether or not your communication is
successful. Though communication
competence is an important way to assess your communication,
there are two other concepts
that you can also use to decide how well, or how poorly, an
interaction unfolded. There are three
focus areas to consider when you evaluate communication
success: shared meaning, communi-
cation satisfaction, and communication competence.
Recall that we discussed the importance of shared meaning in
Chapter 1. We return to this
concept here to emphasize its importance as a communication
outcome. Next we introduce the
concept of communication satisfaction and discuss how it can
be used to assess the success of an
interaction. We will then consider how we can use
communication competence to create better
outcomes and have greater success in a variety of
communication contexts.
Shared Meaning
Recall the definition of communication presented in Chapter 1:
Communication is a process
that involves two or more individuals and involves creating
shared meaning by using verbal and
nonverbal messages in a variety of contexts. From this
definition, you can see that the most basic
outcome of any communication situation is for all participants
in the interaction to “be on the

64. same page” about what is discussed and how the messages are
interpreted. But human beings
are simply too diverse—with different viewpoints, cultural
backgrounds, biases and stereotypes,
and general perceptions or ways of viewing the world—to ever
entirely share meaning with one
another. Yet the more everyone agrees
about what their messages mean and how
they are interpreted, the more likely it is to
achieve shared meaning. Thus, the first and
most fundamental way that we can evaluate
the success of an interaction is to determine
if you and your partner both understand
what is being discussed and derive similar
meaning from the interaction.
This is easier said than done, however.
The extent to which you can accomplish
shared meaning with a conversation part-
ner is based on a number of factors. First,
the types of messages that you use, ver-
bal or nonverbal, are important. If you
are restricted to one type of message—for
example, primarily using verbal commu-
nication in text messages or e-mails—this
can decrease the likelihood that you and
altrendo images/Stockbyte/Thinkstock
▲▲ Everyone has different viewpoints, backgrounds, and per-
ceptions. The more communicators can agree about what their
messages mean, the more likely they are to achieve shared
meaning.

65. Evaluating Communication Success Chapter 11
your partner will reach the same understanding. If our
communication is grounded in the expec-
tations to both verbally and nonverbally communicate in an
interaction, then it is more challeng-
ing to create shared meaning in a situation where we are unable
to do so. But if we are aware this
challenge exists, then we can approach such interactions with
more patience and thus increase
the likelihood of creating shared meaning.
A second factor that can hinder the creation of shared meaning
is differences between the inter-
action partners. We have an easier time understanding people
who are like us because we share
common life experiences and perspectives based on this
similarity. These shared experiences
and perspectives might also explain why we are attracted to
those who are similar to us. Have
you ever met someone who grew up in the same town as you? It
was probably easy to carry on a
conversation with that person about where you each went to
school, the places you spent time,
favorite restaurants or foods, and events that happened in your
area. This conversational ease is
based on your similarities.
However, we do not exclusively interact with others who are
similar to us. Our identification
with different groups—ethnic, religious, political, or
generational—can dictate and shape how
we interact with others. This concept is called intergroup
communication (Giles, 2012). Today’s
globalized world and the technological advances that enable us
to communicate across great

66. distances provide us with many unique and invaluable
opportunities to talk to, and learn from,
individuals who come from different groups. What can we do to
reduce intergroup communica-
tion differences that can be a barrier to shared meaning? A
simple but extremely effective method
is to have more contact with members of different groups; doing
so improves our attitudes toward
and reduces prejudices about those who differ from us
(Harwood & Joyce, 2012). Traveling to dif-
ferent places, talking to people with whom we do not usually
interact, and even using the Internet
to connect with members of different groups are all ways to
increase contact with individuals
from other groups.
The context of the interaction is a final factor that can affect the
creation of shared meaning. In
online contexts, for example, we strive to put forth a more
positive identity than when we com-
municate face-to-face. These more positive, online depictions
can be a barrier when creating
shared meaning. For example, when we meet someone in person
for the first time, after con-
nection via an online dating website, and we might find that
their online description was not an
accurate depiction.
Health interactions also are contexts where meanings are
commonly distorted. For example, in
one study, almost 25% of Americans reported leaving a patient-
provider interaction feeling as if
the healthcare provider did not answer their questions (Davis et
al., 2006). One way to improve
shared meaning in healthcare interactions is to bring a close
relationship partner with you to

67. medical appointments and involve the person in the diagnosis,
management, and treatment of
health conditions (Bevan & Pecchioni, 2008). Involving a
trusted contact or seeking out the view-
point of others who were a part of an interaction can help
increase the likelihood of creating
shared meaning. These different perspectives can provide you
with information that you had not
considered or assist you in considering how others interpreted
the messages, both of which can
contribute to creating shared meaning.
Overall, the creation of shared meaning is the most basic
successful communication outcome
that we strive for, and, though there can be multiple barriers,
there are strategies that can help
minimize these obstacles and increase the likelihood of creating
shared meaning (see Table 11.1).
Evaluating Communication Success Chapter 11
Table 11.1: Creating shared meaning: Barriers and solutions to
consider
Factors that Can Inhibit
Shared Meaning
Examples
Strategies to Counteract
Inhibiting Factors
Message-type restrictions E-mails can limit the communicators’

68. ability to transmit nonverbal messages.
Acknowledge the limitations of
different channels and exercise
patience when using such channels.
Different backgrounds and
experiences among interac-
tion partners
Communicators from different
countries or cultures might not have
similar life experiences.
Interact more often with those who
are different (increase intergroup
communication situations).
Interaction contexts Online profiles might not be accurate
or candid depictions of the real-world
individuals.
Involve a trusted contact who can help
you navigate challenging contexts.
Communication Satisfaction
In 1978 communication researcher Michael Hecht made a case
for the importance of assessing
communication effects. He proposed that an important way to
evaluate the success of an interac-
tion is by determining the level of communication satisfaction
that its participants experience.
Communication satisfaction (CS) is defined as the
positive outcome that is derived from a
communication situation where goals and expectations are

69. successfully fulfilled (Hecht, 1978).
In other words, you are satisfied with your interaction if what
you expected out of the exchange
is fulfilled (Anderson & Emmers-Sommer, 2006). Evaluating
your level of CS after an interac-
tion can increase your awareness of how what you say and how
you say it could affect you, your
partner, and your relationship (Bevan & Stetzenbach, 2007).
This self-awareness, then, can help
increase your overall communication competence. Thus, CS is
the second focus area when evalu-
ating communication success.
Communication satisfaction is an important interaction outcome
in intercultural, mediated,
family, and organizational contexts. For example, when
individuals from different cultures inter-
act for the first time, the more ethnocentric and
communicatively apprehensive the individuals
are, the lower their communication satisfaction (Neulip, 2012).
Individuals who had relationships
exclusively with others online had higher communication
satisfaction when they communicated
more frequently with their online partner (Anderson & Emmers-
Sommer, 2006). Communication
satisfaction also increased overall satisfaction in these online-
only relationships. Further, young
adult siblings were most likely to express their jealousy to each
other via avoidance but ironically
were dissatisfied with this form of communication (Bevan &
Stetzenbach, 2007). This finding
shows that we do not always choose to communicate in a
satisfying way, even when we may know
that there is a potentially more satisfying option, such as being
open and direct.

70. In organizations, individuals’ evaluations of their
communication satisfaction for interactions
with a coworker were higher when they believed that their
coworker could take other individuals’
perspectives (Park & Raile, 2010). Perspective-taking is an
aspect of empathy that involves being
able to adopt another person’s viewpoint, and this skill is thus
an important way to communicate
effectively in organizations. In addition, the greater an
employee’s communication satisfaction
within an organization, the better the person’s job performance
and the less likely the employee
is to leave the job (Tsai, Chuang, & Hseih, 2009). Based on
their findings, these researchers (Tsai
et al., 2009) recommend that managers create a healthy
communication climate by
Evaluating Communication Success Chapter 11
• Inspiring their employees to accomplish their
organizational goals
• Assisting employees in identifying with their companies
• Developing clear conflict management channels
• Cultivating a satisfying system of organizational
communication
These suggestions for improving CS in organizations are useful
and can be logically expanded
to other contexts. For example, romantic partners can encourage
each other to accomplish their
goals, help each other identify with groups that are important
and relevant to them, better man-
age how they engage in conflict with each other, and create a
relationship environment that is

71. constructive and beneficial for both partners. Hecht’s (1978)
measure of interpersonal communi-
cation satisfaction is found in the Self-Test feature, and you can
use this to assess your own levels
of CS.
S E L F - T E S T
Hecht’s Interpersonal Communication Satisfaction Inventory
The purpose of this self-test is to examine your reactions to a
recent conversation. Select a conver-
sation that you have had with someone in the last day or so—it
can be one that you had face-to-
face, online, or a combination of both channels. Use the
following scale to indicate whether or not
you believe each statement applies to you:
1 for strongly disagree
2 for disagree
3 for undecided
4 for agree
5 for strongly agree
1. My partner let me know that I was communicating
effectively.
2. Nothing was accomplished.
3. I would like to have another conversation like this one.
4. My partner genuinely wanted to get to know me.
5. I was very dissatisfied with the conversation.
6. I had something else to do.
7. I felt that during the conversation I was able to present
myself as I wanted my partner to
view me.
8. My partner showed me that he/she understood what I said.

72. 9. I was very satisfied with the conversation.
10. My partner expressed a lot of interest in what I had to say.
11. I did not enjoy the conversation.
12. My partner did not provide support for what he/she was
saying.
13. I felt I could talk about anything with my partner.
14. We each got to say what we wanted.
15. I felt that we could laugh easily together.
16. The conversation flowed smoothly.
17. My partner changed the topic when his/her feelings were
brought into the conversation.
18. My partner frequently said things that added little to the
conversation.
19. We talked about something I was not interested in.
(continued)
Evaluating Communication Success Chapter 11
Communication Competence
Communication competence has been an important thread
throughout this text—one that sews
together the different aspects and contexts of communication, as
well as offering an easy-to-
implement pattern that can be used in different communication
situations to create successful
outcomes. Recall from Chapters 1 and 2 that communication
competence involves being both
effective—obtaining what you seek or accomplishing your
goals—and appropriate—following
the rules and expectations of others regarding a particular
situation or interaction. Improving

73. your communication competence also means that you must
possess necessary knowledge or
awareness about how to communicate competently, be
motivated or energized to do so, and be
skilled at or capable of encoding competent messages. Thus,
being knowledgeable, motivated, and
skilled can help make you more effective and appropriate in
your interactions with others.
These communication competence concepts have been
successfully applied to a variety of com-
munication contexts and situations. For example, Brian
Spitzberg (2006) proposed a series of
relationships between communication competence concepts in
online and mediated contexts.
For example, much as in face-to-face contexts, knowledge in
mediated contexts is positively asso-
ciated with motivation. Having both knowledge and motivation
also means you are likely to be
more skilled in mediated interactions. In other words, if you
know the basics of how to use social
Scoring
Individuals scoring above 63 are highly satisfied with the
interaction; those scoring below 32 have
low satisfaction with the interaction. Those scoring between 33
and 62 are in the moderate com-
munication satisfaction range.
Instructions: To determine your score on the Inventory for
Interpersonal Communication
Satisfaction, complete the following steps:
Step 1. Add scores for items 1, 3, 4, 7, 8, 9, 10, 13, 14, 15, and
16.

74. Step 2. Convert the scores for items 2, 5, 6, 11, 12, 17, 18, and
19 so that 1 becomes 5, 2
becomes 4, 4 becomes 2, 5 becomes 1, and 3 remains 3. Then
add the scores for
these items.
Step 3. Add the scores from Steps 1 and 2. This is your total
score.
Source: Self-test from Hecht, M. L. (1978). The
conceptualization and measurement of interpersonal
communication
satisfaction. Human Communication Research, 4, 253–264.
Copyright © 2006, John Wiley and Sons.
Consider Your Results
Once you have calculated your score, look at your responses to
the individual items to determine
what exactly about the interaction was satisfying or
dissatisfying. Many different things go into
whether an interaction is satisfying, and these are reflected in
the items and can give you increased
insight into what went well or what went wrong.
1. What can you as a communicator do to have more satisfying
interactions with others? How
could your interaction partner contribute to communication
satisfaction as well?
2. Take this self-test twice—once while thinking about a
positive interaction and once while con-
sidering an interaction where you were less satisfied. Then
compare your scores. What, in your

75. opinion, was the difference between an interaction that was
satisfying and one that was less so?
3. Based on this self-test and from what you know about
communication satisfaction and commu-
nication competence from this text, in what ways are these two
communication concepts related
to each other in interpersonal interactions?
Evaluating Communication Success Chapter 11
networks such as Facebook and Twitter, and are interested in
being a member of these social net-
works, you are likely to visit them and use such networks more
frequently, which then will make
you a more adept social network user. Knowledge, motivation,
and skill are each then positively
related to a variety of computer-mediated competence-related
outcomes, such as appropriate-
ness, effectiveness, relationship and communication
satisfaction, increased attractiveness, and
the ability to develop relationships (Spitzberg, 2006). In
essence, the more one knows about and
participates in social networking, the better the person is at it
and the more communication and
relationship benefits that the person accrues.
Health communication is another example context. Gary Kreps
(1988) advocated for a model of
relational health interaction that would promote patient and
provider communication compe-
tence in order to improve the quality of care and increase both
patient and provider satisfaction.
How individuals in an interaction communicate about health at

76. the interpersonal level is signifi-
cant because this is when meaningful relationships between
healthcare consumers and providers
are formed (Kreps, 1988). Kreps emphasizes the importance of
effective communication in health
interactions in part because more effective patient-provider
communication is related to greater
patient compliance with provider treatments. In addition,
realistic and fulfilled patient expecta-
tions during interactions contribute to decreased cultural
stereotyping and greater clarification of
roles and needs (Kreps, 1988). Subsequent research has
supported Krepp’s (1988) model, finding,
for example, that the communication competence of healthcare
workers was directly related to
their increased social support and decreased stress (Wright,
Banas, Bessarabova, & Bernard, 2010).
Having the knowledge, motivation, and skill to be
communicatively competent allows an indi-
vidual to create better outcomes and have greater success in a
variety of specific communication
contexts. Retake the communication competence survey in the
Self-Test feature, first provided in
Chapter 2, and compare your updated scores to your scores from
Chapter 2. Now that you are
almost done reading this text, has your competence has
changed?
S E L F - T E S T
Interpersonal Communication Competence
The following self-test is based on Spitzberg and Cupach’s
(1984) model of communication com-
petence. Answer each item honestly as it currently applies to

77. you in typical conversations with
others. Use a 5-point scale for your responses to each item. Rate
each question according to the
following scale:
1 for strongly disagree
2 for slightly disagree
3 for unsure
4 for slightly agree
5 for strongly agree
1. I act in ways that meet situational demands for
appropriateness.
2. I successfully achieve my interpersonal goals.
3. I show my understanding of others by reflecting their
thoughts and feelings to them.
4. It is easy for me to manage conversations the way I want
them to proceed.
5. I show my engagement in conversation both nonverbally and
verbally.
(continued)
Evaluating Communication Success Chapter 11
6. I use a wide range of behaviors, including self-disclosure and
humor, to adapt to others.
7. I am aware of the rules that guide social behavior.
8. Once I set an interpersonal goal for myself, I know the steps
to take to achieve it.
9. I know that empathy means to try to see it through others’
eyes and feel what they feel.
10. I know how to change topics and control the tone of my

78. conversations.
11. I know how to respond because I am perceptive and
attentive to others’ behaviors.
12. I have enough knowledge and experiences to adapt to
others’ expectations.
13. I want to communicate with others in an appropriate
manner.
14. I am motivated to obtain the conversational goals I set for
myself.
15. I want to understand other people’s viewpoints and
emotions.
16. I want to make my conversations with others go smoothly.
17. I want to be engaged in the conversations I have with other
people.
18. I want to adapt my communication behavior to meet others’
expectations.
Scoring
Now we will identify your separate and overall communication
competence scores. To do this, we
will do a bit of math to determine your average score based on
the categories outlined in the sec-
tions below. This will give you a score, out of 5, where
Higher values (generally 3.5 to 5) indicate greater
communication competence.
Middle values (generally 2.5 to 3.5) indicate moderate
communication competence.
Lower values (generally 1 to 2.5) indicate less communication
competence.
Your possible overall score will be between 18 and 90. Scores
for each of the nine subscales (skill,
knowledge, motivation, adaptability, conversational
involvement, conversation management, empa-

79. thy, effectiveness, and appropriateness) can be averaged to
obtain the communication competence
total score, or you can add up each of your question ratings and
divide the total by 18.
Subscales and Criteria
One dimension includes three subscales that are measured via
the following identified questions:
Skill—questions 1–6
Knowledge—questions 7–12
Motivation—questions 13–18
Instructions: For each of the separate dimensions, determine
your score by calculating the average
(add up your ratings for each question assigned to the
dimension and then divide the total by 6).
A second dimension includes six criteria that are measured via
the following identified questions:
Adaptability—questions 1, 7, & 13
Effectiveness—questions 2, 8, & 14
Empathy—questions 3, 9, & 15
Conversational management—questions 4, 10, & 16
Conversational involvement —questions 5, 11, & 17
Appropriateness—questions 6, 12, & 18
Instructions: For each of the separate dimensions, determine
your score by calculating the average
(add up your ratings for each question assigned to the
dimension and then divide the total by 3).
Sources: Self-test adapted from the eTrees Consortium, Needs
Analysis Report (2013, July 31), originally based

80. on data from Spitzberg, B. H., & Cupach, W. R. (1984).
Interpersonal communication competence. Beverly Hills,
CA: Sage.
(continued)
Setting and Managing Expectations for Various Contexts
Chapter 11
11.2 Setting and Managing Expectations for
Various Contexts
At the end of each chapter in this text, we offered strategies for
creating and managing your
expectations about how you will communicate with others.
Though these suggestions are tai-
lored to the specific context or situation covered in each
chapter, these strategies present three
overarching strategies:
• Be more aware of and analyze how you communicate to
increase understanding of your
and others’ messages.
• Practice the knowledge and skills that you are acquiring in
this course in your own
interactions in order to increase your communication
competence.
• Consider how others see you and how their perceptions
and messages shape who you are
and how you communicate.

81. Together, these general suggestions ask you to identify and
think about your own motivations
and messages, as well as those of the people with whom you
communicate, and work to apply
the information from this course to your own interactions.
These suggestions require that you
have the ability to reflect upon an interaction and to be flexible
when communicating in order to
successfully adapt to a specific communication situation. Both
abilities can be used to help you
determine what you can expect and can hope to accomplish from
an interaction. (The Web Field
Trip feature offers some practical tips on conversing
competently.)
Consider Your Results
As noted earlier, higher score indicates a greater overall
communication competence. If one or
more of your scores are relatively low, these may be areas that
you need to be aware of, and you
should attempt to increase your skill in such areas when
communicating with others. Once you
have calculated your score, compare it to the scores from the
communication competence self-test
that you took in Chapter 2. Now take a moment to evaluate your
scores and consider the following
questions.
1. Were any of your scores higher? If so, what do you think you
have learned from this text that
may have contributed to your increased competence?
2. Overall, are your scores at a level that you are comfortable
with, or are you interested in increas-

82. ing your competence in one or more areas?
3. How might you apply course concepts and strategies to your
own interactions in order to
become more communicatively competent?
W E B F I E L D T R I P
Conversational Work
In an article for The Chronicle of Higher Education
(http://chronicle.com/section/Home/5), English
professor Anne Curzan comments on a recent course in which
she teaches undergraduates about
how conversations work. Over the term, she and her students
come to the conclusion that conver-
(continued)
http://chronicle.com/section/Home/5
Setting and Managing Expectations for Various Contexts
Chapter 11
Be a More Mindful Communicator
What does it mean to be mindful? According to psychology
professor Ellen Langer (1989, p. 138),
mindfulness is defined as “a state of alertness and lively
awareness” in which an individual con-
sciously focuses on and processes information and cues derived
from the present situation to
determine how to act. In other words, a mindful person is alert
to a particular situation or con-
text and takes cues from what is going on at that moment, in

83. that environment (as opposed to
previous situations or experiences), to help him or her figure
out how to behave. In this way, a
mindful individual can consider multiple perspectives and
differentiate between various pieces
of information and categories (Langer, 1989), and thus has
cognitive flexibility (Canary, Lakey, &
Sillars, 2013). In contrast, mindlessness occurs when there is “a
state of reduced attention” and
minimal processing of information (Langer, 1989. p. 139). A
person who is in a mindless state
does not pay attention to the current situation; rather, he or she
draws almost entirely on past
experiences when deciding how to act. Langer’s research has
demonstrated that being mindful is
important because it positively contributes to individuals’
physical health, reduces organizational
burnout and job turnover, and encourages more creative
thinking in educational settings (Langer
& Moldoveanu, 2000).
Being more mindful, or less mindless, can also help us be more
competent and successful com-
municators. Mindless actions are, according to Langer (1989),
frequently rigid and governed by
rules. Mindless people behave and communicate based on their
first and usually only assess-
ment of the situation, and such people are also typically
unwilling to consider alternative options
or courses of action. In contrast, when people are mindful, they
can identify both their own
and their partners’ thoughts and feelings, can express their
cognitions and emotions clearly, and
are sensitive to what their partner is thinking and feeling during
an interaction (Canary et al.,
2013). The ideas generated in interactions where individuals are

84. mindful are often specific and
detailed. Mindful individuals are also more responsive to an
interaction that is taking place at
that moment, meaning they are less judgmental about what is
being said and that the interaction
thus flows more smoothly (Canary et al., 2013).
It is no surprise then that mindfulness is associated with greater
marital adjustment, a greater
ability to be empathic and take other people’s perspectives, and
a decreased use of hostile expres-
sions of anger and aggressive behaviors (Wachs & Cordova,
2007). Individuals who are more
mindful also respond more constructively to distress in their
relationships, engage in better qual-
ity communication, and experience more relationship
satisfaction (Barnes, Brown, Krusemark,
Campbell, & Rogge, 2007). Mindfulness is also important in
healthcare interactions; according
sations take practice—that conversations are work.
Communicators need to consider several dif-
ferent aspects of the conversation as a whole, and they must
both make an effort. Search for and
then review Curzan’s article, “The Work of Conversation,”
paying particular attention to the dif-
ferent forms of conversation work. Now take a moment to
consider the following critical thinking
questions.
Critical Thinking Questions
1. Which form(s) of conversational work (e.g., asking questions,
listening actively and attentively) do
you think that you are most adept at? Which form(s) require a
bit more effort for you? How has

85. this class assisted you in working harder at conversation?
2. The end of the article implies that meaningful conversation
takes place via face-to-face chan-
nels. Is meaningful conversation also possible via mediated
channels? If so, how do we
accomplish this?
Setting and Managing Expectations for Various Contexts
Chapter 11
to researchers, patients may mindfully con-
sider their healthcare needs and decide to
not follow a provider’s treatment recom-
mendations; this is called mindful nonad-
herence (Brashers, Naas, & Neidig, 1999).
To illustrate, let’s imagine a situation from
both a mindful and a mindless perspective.
Jackie and Joe are recent hires at a biotech
company and are both navigating through
their first day of work, which consists of
a companywide orientation for recent
hires. Both employees are nervous, but Joe
attempts to be mindful when approaching
this situation. He plans ahead to determine
where the office is located, leaves at a spe-
cific time in order to arrive at the company
headquarters early, and pays attention to
his surroundings. Once there, he watches
how the other new hires behave and inter-
act with one another. During a question and
answer session, he asks the event organizer
a question that is reflective, thoughtful, and

86. based on the information that he has learned thus far. Joe’s
mindful consideration of his first day
with a new company has thus allowed him to understand how
his current situation is distinct
from previous, similar ones he has had in other employment
settings.
Jackie, in contrast, approaches her first day mindlessly. She
pays little attention to the surround-
ings, and gets lost on her way to the office, making her late for
the orientation. She pays no atten-
tion to the other new hires, assuming this job will be just like
every other job. When she asks a
question, it is because she has not closely listened during the
different presentations. Jackie is thus
behaving based on her previous work experiences and is not
attuned to the one she is currently
in, even though it is new and unfamiliar.
Approaching our communication with others mindfully—
particularly when the interaction is
new, important, or potentially challenging—can help you set
and meet your communication
expectations and be more competent. As you can see,
approaching a new job the way that Joe
mindfully does helps him learn more about his new company
and coworkers, and it also helps
him better understand the role that he will have in the
organization. In contrast, Jackie’s mind-
lessness means that she has to continually focus on basic
information and questions, which pre-
vents her from gaining a broader sense of her role at the biotech
company. Thus it is best, and
most beneficial, to approach new, unfamiliar situations in a
mindful way.

87. Be a Communication Chameleon
You will have the greatest chance of enhancing your
communication success if you become some-
thing of a communication chameleon. A chameleon is an animal
that is extremely attuned to its
environment, to the point where a chameleon can adapt to its
surroundings by physically chang-
ing colors. Chameleons are also able to look at two different
objects at the same time because
they have eyes that rotate independently and offer a 360-degree
view. Chameleons are flexible:
Ryan McVay/Photodisc/Thinkstock
▲▲ A mindful communicator takes cues from what is going on
in the moment to help figure out how to best behave in an
interaction.
Setting and Managing Expectations for Various Contexts
Chapter 11
The species can live in many different environments, including
the rainforest, desert, savannas,
and the mountains. Basically, a chameleon survives and thrives
because it can observe its sur-
roundings from different perspectives and because it can
quickly adapt to the situation.
You can be a communication chameleon by assessing a specific
situation and recognizing how
to shift your communication to best fit the expectations for each
unique situation. This means

88. that you can recognize, for example, that you will communicate
differently in a business and
professional situation than you will on a first date. Further, you
will know exactly how to adapt
to each of those situations in ways that increase your chances
that your interaction will cre-
ate shared meaning and be satisfying and competent for both
you and your partner. (Everyday
Communication Challenges offers information on basic
communication skills.)
E V E R Y D A Y C O M M U N I C A T I O N C H A L L E N
G E S
Basic Communication Skills
When communication researchers talk about being a more
skilled communicator or being more
communicatively competent, they often talk broadly about being
appropriate, meeting expecta-
tions, and having knowledge and motivation. But how exactly
does this translate to how we should
behave when interacting with others? Communication scholars
have attempted to answer this
question by making the leap from research to practice. These
researchers have developed spe-
cific guidelines for the skills that individuals should strive for
when communicating. For example,
Rebecca Rubin and Sherwyn Morreale (2000) compiled basic
and advanced core competencies that
college students need to master in order to be effective
communicators. Rubin and Morreale define
basic communication skills as the minimal competencies that
represent the knowledge, attitudes,
and abilities needed to function effectively in business and
professional settings and in society in

89. general.
Regarding interpersonal communication, the following list
summarizes the important basic skills
identified by Rubin and Morreale (2000):
Analyzing the situation, which includes:
• Recognizing when another communicator does not
understand a message
• Identifying and managing misunderstanding
• Knowing when it is appropriate and inappropriate to say
something
Managing relationships, which involves:
• Managing interpersonal conflict
• Being open to others’ conflicting views
• Asserting ourselves effectively
Exchanging information, which includes:
• Listening and being attentive to others’ comments and
questions
• Asking questions effectively
• Answering questions in a concise manner
• Providing directions that are correct and concise
Managing conversations, which involves:
• Being open-minded about others’ viewpoints
• Conveying enthusiasm by how we deliver messages
(continued)

90. Strategically Managing Difficult Interactions Chapter 11
11.3 Strategically Managing Difficult Interactions
As we have seen throughout this text, we often encounter
multiple challenges and difficulties
when we interact with others. Most are minor, such as a
misunderstanding between friends that
requires that you provide more information to clarify your
message. Others are frequent but
fleeting, such as a minor lie that can protect your relationship
with your boss at work or a brief
spat with your romantic partner about whose turn it is to do the
dishes. Others are even less fre-
quent but have the potential to negatively affect how we
communicate and can even jeopardize
the quality or existence of a relationship, such as jealousy when
you discover that your romantic
partner is spending a great deal of time with a potential
romantic rival.
Competent and mindful communication is
particularly important in these challenging
interpersonal situations, but it is often more
difficult to actually enact competence and
mindfulness in such situations. Our emo-
tions—especially anger and stress—can
take over in these situations, causing emo-
tional flooding that encourages us to act
impulsively and prevents us from think-
ing and responding rationally (Gottman,
1994a). Challenging interactions—such
as engaging in conflict, finding out that
our partner has lied to us, or expressing
our jealousy—are thus common situations
where individuals can lose control and are

91. less mindful of their messages and potential
consequences.
So how do we face these challenges in a competent and mindful
way? Interpersonal communica-
tion researchers Daniel Canary, Sandra Lakey, and Alan Sillars
(2013) have created a method for
strategically managing conflict that can also be applied to other
difficult interactions. Canary and
his colleagues (2013) argue that their method of strategically
managing communication chal-
lenges is significant for three reasons:
1. It encourages individuals to adopt an ethical code of conduct
when interacting with others.
2. It discourages and preempts the aggressive or violent
behaviors that can sometimes arise.
3. It contributes to increased relationship satisfaction, a more
stable and longer-lasting relation-
ship, and positive relationship outcomes, such as increased trust
and cooperation.
Look over this list and think about which specific behaviors you
are most skillful at when you com-
municate. Then consider the following questions.
Critical Thinking Questions
1. Which behaviors do you still need to work on?
2. How can using these specific behaviors in interpersonal
interactions help you to be more compe-
tent in your communication?
3. How has this text assisted in your understanding and
enactment of these skillful actions?

92. liannelin/iStock/Thinkstock
▲▲ Competent and mindful communication is particularly
important in difficult or challenging interactions such as
conflicts.
Strategically Managing Difficult Interactions Chapter 11
The next few sections will examine Canary and his colleagues’
(2013) strategic management
method in more detail. Overall, the method involves four forms
of control: episode, personal,
attributional, and goal.
Episode Control
The first important way to strategically manage challenging
interactions is to anticipate how you
will respond in difficult situations (Canary et al., 2013). The
form is referred to as episode con-
trol, in which you can exercise influence over situations
because you are more mindful in antici-
pation of them. If you know that particular issues or situations
are triggers for you and will cause
you to overreact or become emotionally flooded when you
discuss them, you can anticipate the
negative reactions and be more mindful about how you respond.
This mindfulness, in turn, can
give you pause when you are in an actual situation. You can use
this spare moment to anticipate
your own responses and then curb the less desirable reactions.
This premeditation can prevent
you from unnecessarily taking out your frustrations on people

93. who are not directly involved in
the situation.
Personal Control
The second way to be more strategically competent in
challenging situations is to have faith that
your efforts at being competent can have an impact. Two
concepts that illustrate our power to
make a difference are locus of control and efficacy. First, locus
of control (LoC) is the extent to
which we believe we are responsible for what happens to us.
Having an internal LoC means that
we take responsibility for our own actions, both positive and
negative, and that outcomes are due
to our abilities and the effort we put forth. In contrast, an
external LoC puts the onus of responsi-
bility on forces outside of us, such as when we say that
something occurs due to chance or fate, or
is caused by someone or something that we cannot control.
Second, when a person feels that they
have efficacy, they believe they can successfully control or
manage a situation such as a challeng-
ing or difficult interaction. Clearly, having more of an internal
LoC contributes to feeling greater
efficacy when in a particular situation.
In terms of Canary and colleagues’ (2013) strategic management
method, LoC and efficacy are
both parts of personal control, or the belief that difficult
interactions can be competently man-
aged and translated into positive outcomes. Recognizing that
you have personal control is helpful,
because it can empower you to try to guide how the difficult
interaction unfolds. Try not to blame
others or be a victim: These behaviors show that you do not

94. believe that you have personal control
over the situation. Another benefit of having personal control is
that it will assist you in consid-
ering which messages will be more likely to create productive
outcomes. Potentially productive
messages include exchanging information, working to solve
problems, and being cooperative and
direct. Canary and colleagues (2013) note that “believing that
one can negotiate with a high
probability of success is a critically important component” to
competently managing challenging
interactions (p. 270).
Attributional Control
The third way that we can strategically manage difficult
interactions in a more competent man-
ner involves how these situations are interpreted by the parties
who are involved. Canary and
colleagues (2013) note that we make attributions, or
explanations and reasons about what events
mean and how they unfold and about who is responsible. A
willingness to accept the appropri-
ate amount of responsibility for your role in the situation will
help you communicate in a more
Strategically Managing Difficult Interactions Chapter 11
cooperative way. In turn, the refusal to take responsibility is
associated with more defensive and
protective messages. Attributional control, which involves
individuals generating explanations
and attributions that do not simply blame the partner and that
assume responsibility for the situ-

95. ation, can increase the possibility that the result of the
challenging interaction will be construc-
tive. Canary and colleagues (2013) argue that mindfulness can
help individuals generate more
potential attributions for their partners’ behaviors. This then
enables the individual to delve into
deeper and more complex explanations for the situation.
Goal Control
The fourth way that we can strategically manage difficult
interactions in a more competent man-
ner is to better understand what we want to get out of an
interaction when we communicate. A
goal is an objective that an individual seeks to achieve, and
goals are important when we com-
municate with others. In fact, most communication is goal-
directed, which means we have an
objective in mind when we interact with others, and we
communicate in a way that best allows
us to accomplish this objective. We might not always be
conscious of our goals, however; we can
(and often do) communicate without conscious awareness of
goals, but we are later able to clearly
identify our goals if someone asks us what we wished to
accomplish in a particular interaction.
Goals help guide communication. Specifically, they
• Help us determine how, why, when, whether, and to whom
we should communicate
• Give us standards against which to assess our interaction
outcomes
• Give our interactions meaning
• Help us understand and interpret others’ messages
(Canary et al., 2013; Dillard, 1990).

96. It is for these reasons that goal control is an important element
of mindful communication. Goal
control is the extent to which a communicator knows what he or
she wants, as well as being
aware of and sensitive to his or her interaction partner’s goals
(Canary et al., 2013). In essence,
goal control involves being mindful about your goals because
you must be aware of and thought-
fully consider what you hope to achieve ahead of time and as
the interaction unfolds. Goal control
thus increases your chances of communication success.
Together, the four forms of control help you create positive and
helpful messages when you are
in a difficult interaction. They can also increase the likelihood
that you will view your partner’s
communication through a more positive lens. In essence, the
ultimate goal is to control your
communication strategies in a way that contributes to the use of
more compromising and coop-
erative messages (Canary et al., 2013). The next sections will
discuss the importance of goals and
plans in interpersonal communications situations. (IPC in the
Digital Age offers some tips on
mindful behaviors when multitasking.)
I P C I N T H E D I G I T A L A G E
Mindfulness and Media Multitasking
The growth of accessible media and channels of communication
in the last 20 years has opened up
a whole host of new ways for us to relate to one another and has
allowed us to be more connected
than ever before. This also means there are more reasons and
ways to multitask, or juggle and

97. (continued)
Creating, Evaluating, and Reevaluating Goals and Plans for
Competent Communication Chapter 11
11.4 Creating, Evaluating, and Reevaluating Goals and
Plans for Competent Communication
As we saw earlier in this chapter, mindfulness is a very useful
technique for engaging in effective
and appropriate interactions. Specifically, one way to practice
mindfulness is to establish what
you wish to accomplish in an interaction and then identify how
you can achieve such goals. But
how do we accomplish our communication goals? The most
important thing we can do is create
plans that help us achieve our interaction goals. Plans emerge
directly from goals and can help
an individual determine what actions or messages they should
use to accomplish a particular goal
(Canary et al., 2013). Plans, in other words, are the essential
link between your goals, which are
internal to you and involve your thoughts and feelings, and how
you communicate to the external
world.
For example, imagine that you are attracted to someone who
frequents the same coffee shop as
you do. Your goal in this situation would be to build a
relationship with that person. The plan
that you would employ to accomplish that goal might be to
strike up a conversation one after-
noon to gauge the person’s potential interest in you or to ask

98. him or her out on a date. You would
then use communication to follow through with your plan. This
communication might include
sitting at an adjacent table one day and striking up a
conversation about the book he or she is
switch between more than one task at the same time. For
example, you can check your Facebook
page while e-mailing a work colleague and carry on a
conversation with your roommate at the
same time. But does our increased ability to multitask mean that
we are less mindful in these inter-
actions? In other words, are we so used to spreading our
attention thin when we multitask that we
don’t fully concentrate on any of the interactions in which we
are involved?
Amanda Ie, Chiara Haller, Ellen Langer, and Delphine
Courvoisier (2012), psychology researchers at
Harvard University, conducted a study to determine if
multitasking while using different forms of
media such as television and the Internet is related to mindful
flexibility, or the ability to inher-
ently know that a problem or issue can be considered from a
variety of viewpoints or perspectives.
In other words, mindful flexibility “assumes that there is no
absolute, optimal fit between problem
and solution” (Ie et al., 2012, p. 1526); rather, individuals
should brainstorm and consider different
options. To examine this potential relationship, Ie and her
colleagues (2012) asked their participants
to complete measures of how mindful they were and then take
part in a multitasking exercise that
involved them writing an essay and solving anagram puzzles
that were provided to them via an
online chat program. The researchers found that younger

99. individuals and those for whom mindful-
ness was an enduring personality trait performed well on the
multitasking exercise. The researchers
explained that younger participants may be more adept at
multitasking because they have grown
up with and become accustomed to the different forms of
technology that we use every day (Ie et
al., 2012). Apply these findings to your own communication,
and then consider the following ques-
tions. Though multitasking is a common and sometimes even
expected practice today, think about
how it might reduce your ability to fully concentrate on, and be
mindful of, each of the tasks and
interactions in which you participate.
Critical Thinking Questions
1. Do you consider yourself to be a mindful person?
2. Do you think that how consistently mindful you are relates to
how well you multitask?
3. Do the different media that you use to multitask (e.g.,
Internet, texting, talking face-to-face)
impact how mindful or focused you are about each task that you
are working on?
Creating, Evaluating, and Reevaluating Goals and Plans for
Competent Communication Chapter 11
reading. As you talk, you are likely evaluating how
he or she responds to you. Does the person seem
interested in what you say? Or does he or she seem
distracted and spend most of the time checking his
or her phone or continuing to read the book? As this

100. interaction continues, your goals will likely change.
Perhaps your initial goal was to determine if the per-
son was interested in you, but once you accomplish
this goal you might move on to your next goal: ask-
ing the person to spend time together in a different
environment. Or, if the person is clearly not inter-
ested in you, you may shift gears to get out of the
interaction as quickly as possible and avoid embar-
rassment. Thus, your goals and plans are not static;
they are dynamic and malleable in response to the
messages exchanged between communicators. This
means that goal control and being mindful involves
creating goals and plans before an interaction and
then evaluating and reassessing these goals and
plans during and after the interaction.
Based on what you have learned in this text, you
have four essential goals to becoming a competent
communicator:
1. Focus on competence
2. Emphasize empathy
3. Decrease communication apprehension
4. Control verbal abuse and aggression
Achieving these goals in your interpersonal interactions
requires knowledge, motivation, and
skill. When you employ clear and mindful plans that carry out
these goals, you have an increased
chance of being both effective—accomplishing specific goals
via mindfully constructed plans—
and appropriate. Further, these strategies are relevant to and
useful in a variety of interpersonal
communication contexts and situations, including close
relationships, business and professional
settings, mediated channels, and challenging interpersonal

101. interactions.
Focusing on Communication Competence
We have emphasized the importance of communication
competence throughout this text. Your
decision to read this text indicates that you are motivated to
become a more competent and
skilled communicator. Learning more about interpersonal
communication in general and com-
munication competence in particular can enhance your
communication skill. Make use of the
easy-to-implement strategies provided at the end of each
chapter, techniques based on research
findings from communication experts; these can help you
develop and hone your communica-
tion skills. You can implement such skills and abilities in
different contexts, which suggests that
focusing on competence can offer you greater flexibility and
success in your interactions, no mat-
ter what the topic of conversation or the communication partner.
Thus, competence is the first
goal to focus on if you want to be a more effective and
appropriate communicator.
XiXinXing/Thinkstock
▲▲ If you are attracted to someone, your goal might
be to build a relationship, and your initial plan for
accomplishing the goal might be to strike up a con-
versation. But goals and plans are not static—shifts
may occur as a result of interactions.
Creating, Evaluating, and Reevaluating Goals and Plans for

102. Competent Communication Chapter 11
Emphasizing Empathy
In Chapter 8, we discussed empathy, or putting yourself in
another person’s shoes, as an impor-
tant way to maintain our interpersonal relationships. Empathic
communication is also a compo-
nent of competent communication (Query & Kreps, 1996;
Wiemann, 1977). Indeed, Rubin and
Morreale (2000) note that feeling and conveying empathy is a
helpful communication technique
when individuals want to relate to others. Developing a capacity
to be empathic is also a recom-
mended training intervention in individual and couples’ therapy
(Block-Lerner, Adair, Plumb,
Rhatigan, & Orsillo, 2007). Further, when healthcare workers
were more empathic at work, they
experienced lower stress and reduced job burnout (Wright et al.,
2010).
Empathy is also related to mindfulness. Karen Wachs and James
Cordova (2007) explain that
mindfulness promotes empathy in three ways:
1. Mindful individuals are receptive and open about their own
experiences and curious about the
experiences of others.
2. Mindful individuals are less distracted by their own thoughts
and experiences and thus devote
more attention to others’ perspectives.
3. Mindful individuals are receptive to other experiences and
perspectives and thus become
more compassionate and empathic.

103. More specifically empathy is positively related to mindfulness,
the ability to take different
perspectives, and the ability to control one’s anger and
aggression (Wachs & Cordova, 2007).
Empathy is thus an important goal to pursue when you
communicate with others; be willing to
take others’ perspectives and engage in active listening,
consciously making an effort to hear and
comprehend what the other person is saying.
Decreasing Communication Apprehension
As we discussed in Chapter 5 communication apprehension is a
very common barrier to skillful
and competent communication. Recall that communication
apprehension (CA) is fear and anxi-
ety experienced either during or before communication
situations (McCroskey, 1977). In Chapter
5, we noted that CA can be a relatively stable personality trait.
However, you can work to reduce
your CA in three ways:
1. Be aware of how apprehensive you are and whether you have
more or less apprehension in dif-
ferent situations or interactions.
2. Seek out opportunities to learn and practice communication
skills.
3. For more serious instances of CA, reach out to others for
help.
If you feel that your communication apprehension creates
unwanted challenges or that it gets
in the way of competent communication, items 1 and 2 listed
above may help. Specifically, we

104. hope that this text provides you with the information that you
need to identify your CA levels
and the skills that you need to feel confident as you embark on
communication opportunities
that allow you to learn and practice those skills. In the Self-Test
feature, we provide the CA self-
test that first appeared in Chapter 5 so you can reassess your
current levels of CA and compare
the results.
Creating, Evaluating, and Reevaluating Goals and Plans for
Competent Communication Chapter 11
S E L F - T E S T
Personal Report of Communication Apprehension
This instrument, often referred to as the PRCA-24, is composed
of 24 statements concerning feel-
ings about communicating with others. Please indicate the
degree to which each statement applies
to you:
1 for strongly disagree
2 for disagree
3 for neutral
4 for agree
5 for strongly agree
1. I dislike participating in group discussions.
2. Generally, I am comfortable while participating in group
discussions.
3. I am tense and nervous while participating in group
discussions.

105. 4. I like to get involved in group discussions.
5. Engaging in a group discussion with new people makes me
tense and nervous.
6. I am calm and relaxed while participating in group
discussions.
7. Generally, I am nervous when I have to participate in a
meeting.
8. Usually, I am comfortable when I have to participate in a
meeting.
9. I am very calm and relaxed when I am called upon to express
an opinion at a meeting.
10. I am afraid to express myself at meetings.
11. Communicating at meetings usually makes me
uncomfortable.
12. I am very relaxed when answering questions at a meeting.
13. While participating in a conversation with a new
acquaintance, I feel very nervous.
14. I have no fear of speaking up in conversations.
15. Ordinarily, I am very tense and nervous in conversations.
16. Ordinarily, I am very calm and relaxed in conversations.
17. While conversing with a new acquaintance, I feel very
relaxed.
18. I’m afraid to speak up in conversations.
19. I have no fear of giving a speech.
20. Certain parts of my body feel very tense and rigid while
giving a speech.
21. I feel relaxed while giving a speech.
22. My thoughts become confused and jumbled when I am
giving a speech.
23. I face the prospect of giving a speech with confidence.
24. While giving a speech, I get so nervous I forget facts I
really know.
Scoring

106. Group discussion: 18 − (scores for items 2, 4, & 6) + (scores for
items 1, 3, & 5)
Meetings: 18 − (scores for items 8, 9, & 12) + (scores for items
7, 10, & 11)
Dyadic: 18 − (scores for items 14, 16, & 17) + (scores for items
13, 15, & 18)
Public speaking: 18 − (scores for items 19, 21, & 23) + (scores
for items 20, 22, & 24)
Group discussion score:
Dyadic score:
Meetings score:
Public speaking score:
To obtain your total score for the PRCA, simply add your sub-
scores together:
(continued)
Creating, Evaluating, and Reevaluating Goals and Plans for
Competent Communication Chapter 11
Controlling Verbal Abuse and Aggression
One of the major challenges that we can
face in interpersonal communication is
verbal abuse and aggression, which we
described as a “dark side” communica-
tion behavior in Chapter 9. Verbal abuse
occurs when words are used to threaten or
harm another person. Verbal aggression is
a specific form of verbal abuse that involves
attacking who an individual is as a per-
son rather than his or her position on an
issue (Infante, 1987). Verbal aggression and

107. abuse can occur in person or online, in the
form of cyberbullying. Consider again the
scenario presented at the beginning of this
chapter: Kim and Pat’s conversation could
have continued in a less competent way if
Kim had called Pat selfish. If this had esca-
lated and Kim had threatened to break up
with Pat for not listening to her, this would
be a clear example of verbal aggression.
Scores can range from 24–120. Scores below 51 represent
people who have very low CA. Scores
between 51–80 represent people with average CA. Scores above
80 represent people who have
high levels of trait CA.
Norms for the PRCA-24
The following norms are based on over 40,000 college students.
Data from over 3,000 nonstudent
adults in a national sample provided virtually identical norms,
within 0.20 for all scores.
Mean Standard Deviation High Low
Total 65.6 15.3 > 80 < 51
Group 15.4 4.8 > 20 < 11
Meeting 16.4 4.2 > 20 < 13
Dyad 14.2 3.9 > 18 < 11
Public speaking 19.3 5.1 > 24 < 14
Source: Self-test from McCroskey, J. (1982). Introduction to

108. rhetorical communication (4th ed.). Upper Saddle River, NJ:
Pearson Education, Inc.
Printed and electronically reproduced by permission of Pearson
Education, Inc., Upper Saddle River, New Jersey.
Consider Your Results
1. Did your score change? If so, did it increase or decrease?
2. If you have a lower communication apprehension score now
than you previously did, what from
this course might have contributed to you feeling less
apprehensive and fearful about your com-
munication with others?
3. How did you integrate information from this course and text
into your own interactions?
Jevtic/iStock/Thinkstock
▲▲ Verbal aggression can be damaging to both individuals in
an interaction and can harm the relationship. Competent com-
municators think critically before speaking or acting, using the
moment to evaluate how their messages may affect others.
Summary and Resources Chapter 11
Verbal aggression is an incompetent way to communicate
because it is damaging to both indi-
viduals in an interaction and the relationship that they share; it
can also teach observers, such
as children, that it is an acceptable way to act (Wigley, 2008).
However, Charles Wigley (2008)
notes that there is one important method that can minimize

109. verbally aggressive behaviors: learn
more constructive arguing techniques via communication skills
training. This training can
encourage individuals to communicate based on critical thinking
rather than irrational emo-
tional responses. Indeed, across different studies, being trained
in communication courses such
as argumentation and public speaking and taking part in
activities such as debate and forensics
significantly increased individuals’ critical thinking skills
(Allen, Berkowitz, Hunt, & Louden,
1999). Encouraging individuals to think about how what they
are saying might hurt their inter-
personal relationships, or at least make them more aware of the
impact of their aggression, is an
additional method for reducing verbally aggressive and abusive
behaviors (Wigley, 2008). Critical
thinking and considerate message use are also important and
helpful techniques for those who
wish to become competent communicators.
Summary and Resources
In this chapter, we bring together information from throughout
the text that will help you
become a more successful and competent communicator. We
discussed three ways to evaluate
an interaction as either successful or unsuccessful. First, we
must create shared meaning with
the other communicator, such that you both mutually understand
and agree upon what is being
discussed. Second, we can use satisfaction with the
communication to assess overall communi-
cation success. An important part of communication success,
and thus communication satisfac-
tion, is learning to consider the other communicator’s
perspective in the interaction. Third, your

110. sense of communication competence will also help you gauge
whether or not your interaction
was successful.
How can you set and manage communication expectations
across interactions? The strategies
that we offer at the end of each chapter generally suggest that
being aware of your and others’
communication, practicing the knowledge and skills you have
learned from this text, and con-
sidering others’ perceptions of you in relation to how you
communicate will be beneficial. They
can also help you be a more flexible communicator and help you
adapt to specific communication
situations, much like a chameleon would. Mindfulness can also
help you set and manage expecta-
tions about your interactions with others.
When faced with challenging communication situations, it is
important to try to stave off emo-
tional flooding. In addition, you can strategically manage
difficult interactions by engaging in
episode, personal, attributional, and goal control, which can
result in more competent commu-
nication. These forms of control can help you be more mindful
and communicate in a more con-
structive and compromising way.
Forming communication goals and plans that we can use to
accomplish those goals are also
important tools for competent communicators. Four specific
goals can be used to increase
communication competence. First, focus on the mechanics of
competence. Second, emphasize
empathy by considering the situation from others’ viewpoints.
Third, work to decrease your com-

111. munication apprehension so that it is at a level that doesn’t
inhibit your communication. Fourth
and finally, control verbally abusive and aggressive messages
by being a more critical thinker and
considering how what you communicate can impact your
relationship with the other person.
Summary and Resources Chapter 11
Key Terms
attributional control A means of managing difficult
interactions by generating explanations
and attributions that do not simply blame the partner and do not
deny one’s own responsibility.
attributions Explanations and reasons about what events
mean and how they unfold and
about who is responsible.
basiccommunication skills The minimal competencies that
represent the knowledge, atti-
tudes, and abilities needed to function effectively in business
and professional settings and in
society in general.
communication satisfaction (CS) The positive outcome that
is derived from a communica-
tion situation where goals and expectations are successfully
fulfilled.
efficacy The belief that one can successfully manage or
control a situation.

112. emotional flooding A situation that occurs when one’s
emotions take over, encouraging
the person to act impulsively and preventing the individual from
thinking and responding
rationally.
episode control A means of managing a difficult
interaction by exercising influence over the
situation by mindfully anticipating it.
goal An objective that an individual seeks to achieve.
goal control A means of managing a difficult interaction by
knowing what one wants while
being aware of and sensitive to an interaction partner’s goals.
intergroup communication The extent to which our
identification with different groups dic-
tates and shapes how we interact with others.
locus of control (LoC) The extent to which we
believe we are responsible for what happens to
us.
mindful flexibility The ability to implicitly know that a
problem can be considered from a
variety of viewpoints or perspectives.
mindfulness A state of alertness and awareness in which an
individual focuses on and pro-
cesses information derived from the present situation to
determine how to act.
mindlessness A state of reduced attention in which there is
minimal processing of
information.

113. personal control A means of managing a difficult
interaction by believing that difficult inter-
actions can be competently managed and translated into positive
outcomes.
perspective-taking An aspect of empathy that involves being
able to adopt another person’s
viewpoint.
plans The essential link between our goals, which are
internal, and how we communicate to
the external world.
Summary and Resources Chapter 11
Critical Thinking and Discussion Questions
1. Consider a recent conversation you had that you feel went
well. Why do you think the con-
versation was successful? Is creating shared meaning,
communication satisfaction, or com-
munication competence most important and why? Does your
evaluation of an interaction
depend on who you are talking to, what is being discussed,
and/or the context in which it is
taking place?
2. Think about a difficult interaction you have recently been
involved in. How did the four types
of control—episode, personal, attributional, and goal—fit into
this interaction? How might
exercising these types of control make a similar interaction go
more smoothly in the future?

114. 3. When you communicate with others, how conscious are you
of your goals and plans? How can
being more mindful of your goals and how they are related to
communication help you be a
more competent and successful communicator?
4. Based on your self-test results from this and earlier chapters,
are you comfortable with your
current levels of communication competence and
communication apprehension? If not, how
might you continue to work on your communication to get to a
place where you are satisfied
with your communication with others?
5. Consider the text as a whole. How do you think your
interpersonal communication has
changed as a result of what you have learned? What information
have you taken away from
this content that you can continue to apply in your own
interpersonal interactions?
Introduction to Interpersonal
Communication
Learning Objectives
In this chapter, readers will explore the basics of interpersonal
communication. By the end of this
chapter, readers will be able to
• Understand the specific components of communication
• Describe the overarching models of the communication

115. process
• Define interpersonal communication, including its
functions, challenges, and benefits
• Understand how this text will help make you a more
competent interpersonal
communicator
1
Jupiterimages/Stockbyte/Thinkstock
Introduction Chapter 1
Introduction
Humans are social beings. We depend on other people to meet
our needs, and we form and inter-
act in organized groups such as families, neighborhoods, teams,
clubs, and societies to spend
time with and assist one another. Communication with other
people helps us understand our-
selves, others, and our world. Our bonds with siblings, friends,
romantic partners, neighbors,
colleagues, and classmates give our lives meaning, even when
such bonds challenge and frustrate
us. For these reasons, how we communicate, connect with
others, and build and maintain rela-
tionships is the subject of this text.
You probably know from your own experiences that
communication can go astray, and misun-
derstandings can occur in any number of ways. Perhaps the
receiver cannot hear or does not pay
attention to the message being sent. Maybe equipment used to

116. transmit the message fails, such
as when a call from a mobile phone is dropped. You can also
likely recall specific instances of suc-
cessful communication when the interaction resulted in positive
change or mutual understand-
ing. Consider the following conversation:
Kim sends Pat an e-mail: Hey, hope you are having a
good day. What are we doing for dinner
tonight?
Pat replies via e-mail: You never told me that you were
going to be home early enough to have
dinner together, so I’m not sure.
Kim, via e-mail: I did. I told you this past weekend.
Pat, via e-mail: I don’t remember you saying anything about
being home for dinner. I’m leaving
work now, so text my cell.
Kim replies via text message: Ugh, this is an annoying way
to carry on this conversation. But I
still have to say, you never listen when I tell you something.
Pat, who is driving home, does not reply because his phone is in
his pocket.
Kim, via text message: Hello, are you ignoring me?
Pat, once he is home, checks his mobile phone
and sees Kim’s text message. He calls Kim,
who is now on her way home from work: Hey,
it’s me. I just got your text because I was driving.
I was not ignoring you.

117. Kim: Fine, whatever. I’m almost home myself. I’ll talk to you
then. Bye.
Once they are both home, Kim and Pat continue their
conversation face-to-face.
Pat: You are making a big deal out of nothing. Can we just
figure out what we are doing for din-
ner? I’m hungry.
Kim: Oh, I’m making a big deal out of nothing?
You likely have engaged in a similar conversation. The
interaction contains multiple elements of
interpersonal communication, and we will use it as an example
throughout this chapter to illus-
trate the complexity of Kim and Pat’s seemingly everyday
encounter.
Chapter 1 examines the nature of communication and its
importance in your life. This chapter
introduces several important definitions, elements, and models
of communication, as well as
What Is Communication? Chapter 1
providing a brief overview of the foundation of communication
as an academic discipline. In
addition, this chapter defines interpersonal communication,
investigates its functions and chal-
lenges, and considers the benefits of studying this specific type
of communication.
1.1 What Is Communication?

118. Communication, in its various forms, channels, and contexts, is
a fundamental aspect of being
human. In fact, as newborn babies, our first cry is a message to
the world that we have arrived,
and as infants we are often consoled by a gentle touch or the
soothing voice of our caregivers. We
soon learn to express our thoughts, feelings, needs, and desires
through behavior and language,
to listen and respond to others when they communicate with us,
and to use communication to
build, maintain, and even end a variety of relationships.
The word communication can be traced back to the Latin word
communicare, which means “to
join or unite,” “to connect,” “to participate in,” or “to share
with all.” Other words that emerge from
this root word include common, commune, communion, and
community. Reflecting its roots, this
text defines communication as a process where two or more
individuals strive to create shared
meaning using verbal and nonverbal messages in a variety of
contexts. This definition highlights
five primary characteristics of communication:
• Two or more people are involved.
• It is a process.
• There is an attempt to create shared meaning.
• Both verbal and nonverbal messages influence
interactions.
• It occurs in a variety of contexts.
The intricacies of each element are discussed next.
1. Communication Involves Two or More People
Communication requires a minimum of two individuals. In other

119. words, we cannot communi-
cate unless there is at least one other person to interact with.
Certainly, we can also communicate
with more than two individuals, and mediated channels, such as
television and the Internet, can
even allow us to communicate with millions of people. Finally,
it is important to note, according
to the definition discussed here, that talking to ourselves or
internally exploring who we are as
individuals is not communication, even though doing so is
called intrapersonal communication.
This is a different type of communication, which we will
evaluate in Chapter 2.
2. Communication Is a Process
In 1960, communication theorist David Berlo described
communication as a constantly evolv-
ing interaction or activity that changes each of us and changes
our relationships to one another
over time. The word process might bring to mind an action that
has some purpose or is directed
to some end; an action that is dynamic, ongoing, and ever
changing. When you meet someone
for the first time, for example, you approach each other as
strangers. The communication that
occurs during this first meeting will then influence or shape the
next meeting you have with
one another. If the first meeting was a positive experience, you
will generally expect the second
interaction to be positive as well. On the other hand, if the first
meeting did not go well, you may
What Is Communication? Chapter 1

120. approach the second meeting with some concern or trepidation
because you expect to have a
similar experience.
Communication is a continuous and complex process affected
by past events, influenced by how
the current interaction unfolds, and impacting interactions to
come as well as the future of the
relationship. Because communication is ongoing, we continually
work to build, maintain, alter,
and sometimes even terminate relationships. Over time, we
change and others change, and thus
our communication within our relationships changes.
3. Communication Is Shared Meaning
The fundamental purpose of human communication is to allow
people to generate and share their
thoughts, feelings, experiences, beliefs, opinions, or really
anything they can think to express.
People communicate in the hope that such ideas have meanings
for others too and that they will
understand. This understanding, or meaning, and the shared
view of reality are best achieved
through communication.
As an example of how people can share meaning through words,
the symbols of language, picture
the following event.
A small black bear cub, apparently abandoned by its mother,
wandered into a rural neighbor-
hood and lived in the undergrowth and trees in the
neighborhood for more than five days.
Because the animal showed no signs of leaving, state Fish and

121. Wildlife Department authori-
ties were called to capture the bear and remove it from the
property. They shot the cub with
a tranquilizer gun, but the cub scurried up a large tree and fell
asleep. The tree was too tall
for any ladder to reach and too wide to encircle with a safety
harness, a requirement if an
authority were to climb, but the bear cub was in danger of
falling to an almost certain death
at any moment. For approximately one hour, neighbors and
wildlife officials anxiously waited
for a resolution. Then the cub awakened and began to move.
The small branch on which the
cub rested broke, and the bear suddenly dropped a few feet to a
second branch. The small cub
dangled high above the ground, holding onto the branch with its
two front paws. Slowly it
lost its grip and dropped toward the ground, bouncing off two or
three tree branches on the
way down. As it fell, wildlife officers ran toward the tree,
gripping a tarp tightly, and caught
the cub safely using the open canvas.
Although you were not present at the exact moment to witness
the event described above, you
can easily visualize it because of a shared language and shared
use of symbols. When we talk
with other people about an experience, however, the
communication is only an abstraction of
that experience. For example, a reporter who is present at the
event and then writes a story about
the bear cub shares his perception of the situation as it unfolds.
He might report as many facts as
possible, but he also might make it sound like a more dramatic
event than it was to keep readers
interested in the story.

122. That story, however, is just one person’s representation, which
is a simplified and condensed ver-
sion of the entire occurrence. Each witness noticed or focused
upon different things during the
experience. For example, the wildlife official who was standing
directly under the tree was focus-
ing her attention entirely on where to best place the tarp to
catch the bear cub. Meanwhile, a
neighbor, positioned at a greater distance from the tree with the
stranded bear cub, might instead
be better able to view the whole scene, including the potential
damage to the tree, nearby struc-
tures, or cars if the cub did happen to fall. Each individual’s
story would be slightly different even
though there is also a great deal of shared meaning about
specific elements of the same event. We
What Is Communication? Chapter 1
will return to the importance of these dif-
ferent meanings when we discuss culture
and perceptions later in this text.
One of the primary goals of human com-
munication is to share meaning and con-
nect with others, but this is not as easy
as it might first seem. We can look up a
word in a dictionary, but the definition
does not necessarily account for the word’s
unique meaning for the person who uses
it. Meaning is not in the message itself;
meaning is in the communicator. We each
respond to messages based on personal

123. experiences, cultures, and interpretations.
But this can make communication difficult
because verbal and nonverbal messages can
mean something different to each of us. It is
generally easier to create shared meaning when we have an
established relationship with some-
one because that person has shared experiences with us.
Communication is thus considered
successful when meaning is generally shared with others, and
all parties come to a mutual under-
standing about the content of the messages exchanged.
4. Communication Is Verbal and Nonverbal Messages
Messages are the actual pieces of information exchanged
between individuals in an interac-
tion, and these messages take two broad forms: verbal and
nonverbal. Verbal communication
is, put simply, language or the use of words to communicate.
Language provides us with the
unique ability to create, use, and exchange common words or
symbols that represent objects and
events. Symbols are words, pictures, sounds, marks, or objects
used to represent particular ideas,
objects, or qualities.
We can also use language to describe past, present, and future
events and to wish, dream, and
imagine objects that do not exist or are not immediately present
(Burgoon, Buller, & Woodall,
1996). Nonverbal communication includes other visual and
vocal means, other than language,
used to communicate. There are eight distinct forms of
nonverbal communication:
• Physical appearance and attractiveness

124. • Body movement (the study of kinesics), including posture,
facial expressions, and
eye contact
• Physical contact with another through touch (haptics)
• Personal space and distance from one another (proxemics)
• Voice and the way something is said, including tone,
pitch, rate, and height, and even
silence (vocalics)
• Time and the way it is used (chronemics)
• Scents or odors (olfactics)
• Use or display of objects (artifactics) used to create and
shape messages (Burgoon,
Guerrero, & Manusov, 2011)
Maria Teijeiro/Photodisc/Thinkstock
▲▲ A primary goal of communication is to share meaning and
connect with others.
What Is Communication? Chapter 1
Although the two types of communication are often studied
separately, both verbal and nonver-
bal communication messages are present in an interaction.
Verbal and nonverbal messages are
intrinsically intertwined, and either complement or contradict
one another. Their interplay can
change the nature and interpretation of the interaction.
Think back to the example of Kim and Pat’s conversation at the
beginning of the chapter. They

125. were clearly using verbal communication via language in their
e-mails and text messages to each
other, but they also engaged in multiple forms of nonverbal
communication, including the tones
and volumes of their voices, use of eye contact, gestures,
personal distance, and touch. At times,
the verbal and nonverbal messages they were using may have
communicated the same thing. For
example, Kim’s voice might have sounded angry and been at a
higher pitch than normal, and she
might have crossed her arms in front of her chest when she said,
“Fine, whatever. I’m almost home
myself. I’ll talk to you then. Bye.” Maybe Pat’s messages
offered different or conflicting meanings
if he had smiled and spoken in a calm tone of voice when he
said, “You are making a big deal out
of nothing.”
Even e-mails and text messages, which are communications that
contain primarily verbal mes-
sages, can use different forms of nonverbal communication such
as capital letters to emphasize
a point, exclamation marks to convey excitement, or emoticons
to make a joke or depict sad-
ness (for more about emoticons, see Everyday Communication
Challenges). We will return to the
importance of verbal and nonverbal messages in Chapter 4.
E V E R Y D A Y C O M M U N I C A T I O N C H A L L E N
G E S
Emoticons as Nonverbal Communication Symbols
Today we frequently rely on written language in the form of
text messages, e-mails, tweets, and
social media posts to communicate with one another. This form

126. of communication allows us to
communicate with one or thousands of people far and wide but
can also limit nonverbal commu-
nication. Emoticons, combinations of keyboard characters that
indicate the emotional state of the
person writing the message, were developed to enable us to add
some additional nonverbal infor-
mation to these verbal messages. For example, a colon and a
parenthesis can represent a smile or a
frown.
The emoticon was first used by Scott Fahlman and his
colleagues in a 1982 Carnegie Mellon
University computer science online bulletin board to clearly
indicate board posts that were made in
jest (see Fahlman’s discussion of the emoticon and a link to the
post where it was first used: https://
www.cs.cmu.edu/~sef/sefSmiley.htm. In the absence of visual
or auditory cues like smiling and
laughter, you can use these nonverbal written symbols to
increase the likelihood of achieving shared
meaning. When you tease someone, you can stick out your
tongue :-p or wink ;-) or even laugh
out loud LOL.
Emoticons are now so ubiquitous in our mediated
communication—communication in which
someone or something intervenes between the sender and the
receiver in the communication
process—that many mobile phones include a button that
provides a variety of emoticon options.
Facebook, Google, and even Microsoft Word will automatically
convert emoticons into stylized
faces that are more illustrative than combinations of
punctuation marks. A good rule of thumb is to
use emoticons in moderation, as you would with strong

127. emotions during face-to-face interactions,
(continued)
https://www.cs.cmu.edu/~sef/sefSmiley.htm
https://www.cs.cmu.edu/~sef/sefSmiley.htm
What Is Communication? Chapter 1
5. Communication Occurs in a Variety of Contexts
The context, or the situation in which communication takes
place, affects what we expect to
hear and see, the meaning of what is said, and whether and how
we communicate. When we
speak of context, we must consider that people communicate
differently in different settings.
For example, you would not communicate and
behave at a party the same way you would at
work. You may talk and laugh loudly at a party,
or yell to someone from across the room, but you
would probably not exhibit these same behaviors
in the workplace.
Any number of contextual cues can influence
communication. For example, the time and place
of the interaction are both important consider-
ations. Does the interaction occur at night or
during the day? Does the interaction take place
face-to-face or via a mediated technology such
as Skype? In addition, the cultures of each com-
municator, as well as the culture in which the
interaction is taking place, are often consciously
and subconsciously taken into account. Culture,
which we will discuss in more depth in Chapter

128. 3, involves the traditions, beliefs, and standards
for behaviors that are passed down from one gen-
eration to the next.
Our psychological state also affects our communication. When
we are unhappy, we perceive
situations differently from how they seem to us if we are in a
good mood. For example, you might
have a better time at a birthday party right after receiving an
excellent grade in a course than
you might after receiving a poor grade. In addition, the social
situation, the participants in the
interaction, and their relational history influence
communication and each person’s interpreta-
tion of it.
As you have learned, communication occurs in a particular
context, which includes the time,
place, and people involved in the interaction. (We discuss
context further later in this chapter.)
All of these contextual aspects fit into the larger context of
culture. Overall, it is important to
recognize that the context often significantly shapes
communication in a particular setting.
and be sure only to use them in informal situations where it is
appropriate to bring your emotional
state into the messages you are writing.
Critical Thinking Questions
1. How do you feel about using emoticons in your mediated
communication with others? In what
types of situations can they be overused, inappropriate, or
misinterpreted?

129. 2. How else can we communicate our emotions when writing
messages to one another, especially
in formal or professional situations where emoticons might not
be appropriate?
3. How can advances in mediated communication continue to
allow us to express our emotions
more easily and accurately?
Digital Vision/Thinkstock
▲▲ Culture is an overarching context that can influence
an interaction.
Two Models of Communication Chapter 1
1.2 Two Models of Communication
In the field of interpersonal communication, communication
theories and models evolved from
basic, preliminary foundations laid by early scholars.
Communication as an academic discipline
has both a long and a short history. The broad study of
communication is rooted in the traditions
of Socrates, Plato, Aristotle, and the philosophy of ancient
Greece. Specifically, the art of persua-
sion, known as rhetoric, emerged to promote citizen
participation in democracy during this time.
Rhetoric remains an important area of communication study
today. In contrast, the modern
study of communication, and the emergence of the subfield of
interpersonal communication in
particular, only began in the twentieth century. In the first four
decades of that century, various
aspects of communication were studied as speech and oratory at

130. American universities but in
different social science and humanities departments such as
anthropology, English, political sci-
ence, and sociology. From 1940 to the mid-1960s, the study of
communication started to evolve
into a distinct communication discipline. This consolidation was
partially due to World War II,
which generated an interest in the creation, understanding, and
successful implementation of
propaganda messages during wartime.
It was also in the 1960s that the study of interpersonal
communication “came into its own as an
identifiable academic discipline” (Bryant & Pribanic-Smith,
2010, p. 26). The early focus of this
discipline was persuasion, influence, group communication, but
there was also a growing interest
during the 1970s in how cognition is related to interpersonal
interaction. The study of interper-
sonal communication continued to advance in size and influence
between the 1970s and 1980s,
with substantial growth in university courses and the founding
of professional associations and
journals focused on interpersonal communication (Bryant &
Pribanic-Smith, 2010). The field
of interpersonal communication continues to grow and evolve
with the ever-changing nature
of social interactions thanks to the popularity of social
networking and technological conduits
developed for interpersonal communication, such as text
messaging and video conferencing.
Since the 1940s, when the study of communication split from
other academic disciplines, com-
munication scholars proposed their own models and theories to
explain communication interac-

131. tions. Theories are claims and beliefs researchers develop and
then test in controlled studies or
in real-world situations. When communication scholars create
and test theories, they provide
useful information about the communication process that is
based on research and evidence.
Such practices also help advance communication as a unique
academic discipline. Researchers
also create physical models to illustrate communication
concepts and theories. Models are sim-
ple representations, in an ideal form, of a process or an object.
Although models provide a simpli-
fied view of something that is typically much more complex,
they are useful because they clarify
the nature of a phenomenon or a process. A model also
highlights or emphasizes the elements a
scholar believes are particularly important and allows us to
examine how an element is related to
other parts of the model. Theories and models are important
tools to illustrate the researcher’s
systematic thinking about that particular topic.
With new research findings in interpersonal communication,
researchers expanded upon the
discipline’s preliminary models and theories. To illustrate the
evolution of these communication
models, we will discuss two general types of communication
models: (1) the linear model and (2)
the transaction model. The transaction model builds on the
linear model and, based on research
findings, adds new insights to our knowledge of the
communication process. Let’s examine these
models and discuss how they differ.

132. Two Models of Communication Chapter 1
The Linear Model of Communication
In 1948 Bell Telephone Company engineer and mathematician
Claude Shannon was assigned
the task of determining the most efficient way to transmit
electrical signals from one location
to another. As a result, Shannon developed one of the most
influential early linear models of
communication. He called his model the Mathematical Theory
of Communication, and it was
originally published in The Bell System Technical Journal.
Shannon later worked with mathemati-
cian Warren Weaver to create a description of this
communication model that was accessible to
the general public, in what is known today as the Shannon and
Weaver model of communication
(see Figure 1.1). There are a number of linear models that were
developed at this time, but the
Shannon and Weaver model is the most significant.
Shannon postulated that all communication could be broken
down into three components: an
information source, a channel or path, and a destination
(Weaver & Shannon, 1963). In this
model, the information source is the sender, who has a
message to transmit. This message is
transformed into a signal, which travels along a channel, where
it is delivered. The transmitter
and receiver shown in the Shannon and Weaver model were
devices such as telephone hand-
sets that sent and received the information signal. The Shannon
and Weaver model focused on
the mechanism of transmitting electrical signals, not on the
content of the information or the

133. message. Because it focused on the mechanical and technical
issues involved in message trans-
mission, the model did not explain the complexities of human
communication. Nevertheless,
Shannon’s ingenuity made two important contributions to the
field of communication.
First, Shannon defined and quantified the sometimes imprecise
notion of information, which
is defined as stimuli from individuals’ surroundings that
contribute to their beliefs and knowl-
edge (Brashers, Goldsmith, & Hsieh, 2002). He believed that
telephone signals, radio waves,
photographs, film, and other media could all be considered
information, and this information
could be encoded in binary digits, or bits, which would enable
relay circuits to perform complex
f01.01_COM200.ai
Information
source Transmitter
Message
Signal Received
signal
Message
Receiver Destination
Noise source
Figure 1.1: The Shannon-Weaver model of communication

134. The linear model of communication, developed by Shannon and
Weaver, was originally
created to represent mechanical communication, but this model
is still the first to visually
depict the communication process.
Source: Shannon, C. E. (1948, July–October). A mathematical
theory of communication. Bell System Technical Journal, 27,
379–423. © John Wiley & Sons.
Two Models of Communication Chapter 1
mathematical operations and to transmit this digital information
without error. Almost 50 years
elapsed before Shannon’s information concept had practical
application, but today this concept
forms the operational basis used for computers and other
electronic devices, making items such
as CDs, DVDs, and broadband communication possible. In fact,
Shannon is now referred to as
the father of information technology and is credited with single-
handedly creating today’s digital
revolution (Waldrop, 2001).
Second, the Shannon and Weaver linear communication model
introduced the idea of noise into
the communication process. Shannon defined noise as anything
that interferes with, corrupts,
or changes the communication signal as it travels through a
channel. Again, Shannon primarily
focused on technical noise in the signal transmission, such as
static on a telephone line. But he
recognized that communicators could experience semantic
noise, which occurs when messages

135. are misunderstood or misinterpreted or when interference arises
because of the language used
by one or more of the communication participants. We will
return to the concept of noise in the
next section where we describe the elements of communication.
Though Shannon originally developed his model of
communication for mechanical communica-
tion, this early linear model was the first attempt to visually
depict the communication process.
In the linear model, the sender of the message is the primary
and only active participant in the
communication process. The sender is responsible for clearly
and accurately communicating to
the receiver, who passively accepts whatever message the
sender transmits. If the communicated
message fails to produce shared meaning or desired results, then
researchers will simply examine
how the sender formed the message or will develop methods for
improving message transmis-
sion. If we use the linear model to analyze Kim and Pat’s
conversation about what to have for
dinner, we might assume Kim is responsible for clear
communication. and she is at fault when
Pat does not know that she is available to have dinner with him.
We might suggest that Kim’s
question, “What are we doing for dinner tonight?” should be
more explicit or clearer, such as, “I’m
available for dinner with you tonight after all—do you want to
do something?”
In the 1950s and early 1960s, researchers adapted the Shannon
and Weaver model and applied
its concepts to the process of human communication. Several
scholars during this time made
significant contributions to our knowledge of interpersonal

136. communication. One model in par-
ticular affects our understanding of interpersonal
communication today.
The Transaction Model of Communication
As communication established a distinct discipline, researchers
recognized that communication
was not inherently linear and that both sender and receiver were
influential, active participants in
the communication process. As a result, researchers developed
the interaction model of commu-
nication. The interaction model depicted the sender and the
receiver, as the linear model of com-
munication does, but also emphasized the participants’
sequential turns when they exchanged
messages with one another.
As the study of communication progressed, researchers
recognized it was not necessary to
receive a message before sending a message. Communicators
could send and receive messages at
the same time and had mutual influence during the interaction.
For example, while one person
was speaking, a second person could smile or frown and thus
send a nonverbal message. The
two participants in the interaction are both simultaneously a
sender and a receiver of messages.
Instead of comparing communication to shooting an arrow, as in
the linear model, or hitting
Two Models of Communication Chapter 1
a tennis ball back and forth, as in the interaction model,

137. communication is more like a dance.
Researchers acknowledged that participants would rely on each
other’s cues and that their com-
bined movements influenced the direction of their interaction.
This interplay between the com-
municators is known as a transaction, and these later models of
communication are known as
transaction models.
A transaction model of interpersonal communication identifies
four major components of the
communication process:
• Both parties are active participants who simultaneously
serve as senders and receivers.
• Information flows in both directions.
• There are both verbal and nonverbal messages.
• Communication takes place to meet the needs of both
people.
The sender and the receiver are mutually responsible for the
creation of meaning. The two par-
ties must negotiate to achieve as much shared meaning as
possible. Elements of the transaction
model—feedback, context, and noise, among others—are
detailed here. Each of these can influ-
ence shared meaning between the parties.
Sender and Receiver
Though senders and receivers are addressed as separate
elements of communication, each party
in an interaction should be considered both a sender and a
receiver, or simply, a communicator.
The sender is the source of the communication—the person who
initiates the interaction. The
receiver is the recipient of the message the sender transmits.

138. Early communication models con-
sidered the receiver a passive participant in the communication
process, but researchers today
believe the receiver is actively engaged in the communication
process. Communication partici-
pants are simultaneously a sender and a receiver.
Before communication can occur, the sender must first encode
the idea she wants to commu-
nicate, or put the idea into some form or code that the other
person can understand. In other
words, encoding involves the creation of meaning. Language is
a type of verbal communication
code. Nonverbal communications, such as gestures, eye contact,
and touch, are codes as well. If
the other person does not understand the message, she will not
be able to decode or interpret
the message in the way that the sender intends. For example,
placing the thumb and forefinger
together to form a circle is a nonverbal code that can mean
“OK” in the United States. However,
the same gesture is interpreted differently in Brazil and
Germany and is considered an offensive
gesture equivalent to the U.S. gesture of showing someone the
middle finger (Hayden, 2007).
Message
In the communication process, the message is the content of the
communication itself—the idea
the sender wishes to communicate to the receiver. Messages are
• Perceived via one or more of our five senses (sight,
sound, touch, taste, and smell)
• Planned, unintentional, or somewhere in between
• Communicated via both verbal and nonverbal codes

139. Messages are only understood if the idea is encoded by the
sender and decoded by the receiver in
a similar manner, and if shared meaning is achieved.
Two Models of Communication Chapter 1
According to influential scholars of interpersonal commu-
nication, messages also contain both content and relational
dimensions (Watzlawick, Beavin, & Jackson, 1967). The con-
tent dimension of the message is the information the sender
wants to communicate to the receiver. The relational dimen-
sion of the message is the complex relationship between the
two communicators. The nature of the relationship can
include factors such as who has more or less power or sta-
tus, how much communicators like or dislike each other,
and the feelings one or both communicators experience
during the interaction. Typically, the content dimension is
shared through verbal communication, and the relational
dimension is expressed via nonverbal communication.
When compared with the content dimension of a message,
the relational dimension is often less clear or ambiguous
and may require verbal verification. For example, if your
boss says, “I’d like to see you in my office,” the content of the
message is clear and simple. However, the relational dimen-
sion may cause you to feel concern. Maybe you analyze your
boss’s tone of voice or facial expressions. Perhaps you men-
tally review your recent work and interactions with your
boss to predict if the meeting will be a positive or a negative
experience. As you can see from this example, verbal and
nonverbal messages and the content and relational dimensions
of messages all affect message
encoding and decoding.

140. Channel
The channel is the medium or the means through which the
message is transmitted from sender
to receiver. Multiple channels can be employed in an
interaction. For example, when two people
talk face-to-face, they use the auditory channel when they speak
and listen, the visual channel
when they observe each other’s gestures and facial expressions,
and the tactile channel when
there is physical contact. In addition, the channel could be
mediated in some way, which means
that someone or something is intervening between the sender
and the receiver in the commu-
nication process. For example, the cellular network and
airwaves constitute a communication
channel for someone on a cell phone; the Internet network
would be a channel for someone send-
ing an e-mail. When communication occurs via these mediated
channels, other channel options
are often limited. For example, mediated channels would easily
support the visual and auditory
channels described above, but make tactile (touch) or olfactory
(scent) channels much more dif-
ficult or even impossible to use.
Feedback
As previously stated in this chapter, shared meaning is the goal
of communication. For commu-
nication to be effective, the message must have the same or
similar meaning—a shared under-
standing—for both communicators. We cannot be sure if the
message that is sent is the same as
the message that is received until we assess the feedback, one of
the many elements of the com-
munication process. Feedback is defined as any information a

141. communicator gets from others
in response to a message. Feedback can be verbal or nonverbal
and often includes elements of
both. For example, if you tell a child his lunch is ready, he
might race into the house (nonverbal)
and shout “hooray” (verbal), and both elements are forms of
feedback. Feedback is an important
Stockbyte/Thinkstock
▲▲ We can use both verbal and nonverbal
codes to communicate a message.
Two Models of Communication Chapter 1
component in the communication process because it is the
method we use to gauge the success
of the communication. Feedback also provides the opportunity
to alter our messages and to try
to communicate again if the previous message is not understood
or if shared understanding is
not achieved.
Noise
Every day we are presented with countless messages and
sensory experiences, from signs and
advertisements to interactions with strangers. If these messages
or sensations distract us from
fully participating in an interaction, they are classified as noise.
Recall that noise was first dis-
cussed in relation to Shannon and Weaver’s linear model of
communication, though Shannon’s
primary view of noise was technological in nature.
Communication scholars have since deter-

142. mined there are four specific types of noise that can interfere
with or garble a particular message:
• Physical noise includes distractions that originate from
the environment rather than from
the communicators—such as a ringing or vibrating cell phone,
the hum of traffic outside
your window, other students talking during class, or even pop-
up advertisements on your
computer screen. Physical noise is thus an external form of
noise.
• Psychological noise occurs when one or both
communicators’ cognitions or mental states
interfere with shared meaning. Biases, prejudices, stereotypes,
and even extreme emotions
such as rage are all examples of psychological noise.
Psychological noise is thus an internal
form of noise and is most likely to occur when a communicator
has extreme views or even
a viewpoint on the opposite end of the spectrum.
• Physiological noise occurs when one or both
communicators have an impairment that
restricts shared understanding. Examples of physiological
impairment include visual or
speech impairments, difficulty with or loss of hearing, and
memory loss. An inability to
understand someone’s regional or cultural accent is also a type
of physiological noise, even
if both communicators speak the same language.
• Semantic noise occurs when one or both communicators
assign different meanings to a
message. One common example of semantic noise involves
communicators who speak

143. different languages—for example, one individual only speaks
English, and the other only
understands Spanish. Other examples can include
misinterpretations of a nonverbal signal,
such as the different interpretations of the “OK” hand gesture
previously discussed. Use of
complex terms or jargon can also create semantic noise, but
even speech that is too vague
or ambiguous can lead to semantic noise due to
misinterpretation. On the television show
Seinfeld, for example, George Costanza’s girlfriend
continuously uses the phrase “yadda,
yadda, yadda,” and George could not understand her because
she frequently glossed over
important points of the story.
Any or all of these forms of noise can be present in an
interaction. Obviously, the more noise
that there is during an interaction, the more difficulty the
communicators will have focusing on
the messages that they are exchanging and on creating shared
meaning. Though we cannot fully
eliminate noise from our interactions with others, knowing that
noise can affect our communica-
tion can help us anticipate and deal with it.
Context
The transaction model acknowledges that communication does
not take place in a vacuum;
rather, a simple shift in where or when an interaction takes
place can significantly alter it. As
defined earlier in the chapter, context is the circumstances in
which an interaction occurs, and
it surrounds and infuses the interaction and affects the
communicators’ messages. A number of
contextual aspects—including time, place, environment, the

144. psychological dimension of each
What Is Interpersonal Communication? Chapter 1
communicator, and culture—can each play an integral role in
shaping or changing the messages
that are being shared.
Together, these elements combine to illustrate the process of
communication as depicted by the
transaction model of communication. For example, Kim and Pat
are both senders and receivers
in their interaction. Their messages are the things that they say
both verbally and nonverbally to
each other, and they used both mediated (e-mail and mobile
phone texts and calls) and face-to-
face channels to communicate these messages. When Kim said
to Pat, “Fine, whatever,” she is
providing him with feedback that indicates she is not being
considerate of or taking seriously the
message Pat has sent. Taking the analysis one step farther, there
could be multiple types of noise
present, including physical noise in the form of distractions at
work and while on the road, and
even psychological noise as both Kim and Pat became more
angry and frustrated. Finally, the
scenario context could involve the time of day—that it was
close to dinnertime—and how each
felt about the other and the relationship that they share. The
transaction model thus is useful
because it not only describes each of these elements but helps
us identify the role of each element
in a given interaction.

145. 1.3 What Is Interpersonal Communication?
This text focuses on interpersonal communication: the building
block for all other types of com-
munication. Interpersonal communication (IPC) is a unique
type of communication that
involves two individuals interacting via face-to-face or
mediated channels. This communication
involves the smallest number of communicators—two, also
known as a dyad. It can be unplanned,
such as when people unexpectedly meet, exchange greetings,
and have an impromptu conversa-
tion. It can also be planned, such as when two people arrange to
sit down for coffee at a certain
time and place to talk about a problem. Interpersonal
communication can take place in an infor-
mal setting—a home, a yard, or a supermarket, for instance.
Interpersonal communication can
also occur in a formal setting, such as an employer’s office or a
classroom. Interpersonal commu-
nication can even take place via mediated channels like
telephones, computers, or video cameras.
Aspects of a typical interaction can be both planned and
unplanned, both formal and informal.
For example, the doctor–patient encounter would likely be
considered a primarily formal and
planned interaction. However, this interaction also can include
informal greetings and chitchat
when the doctor first enters the examination room. If the patient
provides information about his
symptoms during the exam that the doctor did not anticipate,
unplanned communication will
occur. If the patient follows up later with the doctor via e-mail,
the interaction will span both
face-to-face and mediated channels. As this example illustrates,
the study of interpersonal com-

146. munication is important because such interactions are complex,
multilayered, and can reveal a
lot about the communication process.
Functions of Interpersonal Communication
As social animals, we want and need connections with other
people. We communicate to accom-
plish any number of mutual goals, and to relate to one another.
Specifically, interpersonal com-
munication is a social process, and we usually communicate for
one of three primary purposes:
(1) to meet personal needs; (2) to learn about ourselves, other
people, and the world; and (3) to
build and maintain relationships with others.
What Is Interpersonal Communication? Chapter 1
Figure 1.2: Maslow’s hierarchy of needs
Basic needs, those closer to the bottom of the pyramid, must be
met before one is in the
position to seek out self-actualization.
Meeting Personal Needs
One of the most basic reasons people interact with others is to
satisfy personal needs. In 1943, psy-
chologist Abraham Maslow developed a theory of human
motivation, proposing that all humans
have an essential nature and a set of basic human needs that
motivate us to seek psychological
health and full humanness, or self-actualization (Maslow,
1968). People have basic needs that
must be met before they can move toward self-actualization.

147. Essential needs such as safety and
food must be satisfied before we can continue the process of
self-actualization (Maslow, 1968).
Like empty holes, deficiencies must be filled, and other people,
through interpersonal communi-
cation and interactions, can help us satisfy these different
personal needs (“Maslow’s hierarchy,”
2009).
The hierarchy of human needs that Maslow identified is usually
represented in a pyramid. As the
arrow in Figure 1.2 indicates, Maslow theorized that human
needs emerge in order starting from
the bottom of the pyramid. Lower-level needs must be satisfied
first, and higher-level needs only
arise once the basic needs are realized. Basic physiological
needs, the necessities for life such as
f01.02_COM200.ai
Physiological Needs
Need for food, water, shelter, sleep, and other necessities to
sustain life
Safety Needs
Need for security, freedom from the threat of physical
and emotional harm, and protection from violence
Social Needs
Need for affection, friendship, and appreciation;
to belong and to receive and give love

148. Esteem Needs
Need for self-respect and respect
from others
Self-
Actualization
Drive toward
purpose, meaning,
and full potential
Source: Maslow, A. H., Frager, R. D., & Fadiman, J. (1987).
Motivation and personality (3rd. ed.). Upper Saddle River, NJ:
Pearson Education, Inc. ©1987.
Printed and electronically reproduced by permission of Pearson
Education, Inc., Upper Saddle River, New Jersey.
What Is Interpersonal Communication? Chapter 1
food, water, and shelter, are the strongest needs. Maslow
believed the first reason to communicate
is for survival. Communication enables us to call attention to
ourselves, to warn others of danger,
and to exchange critical information to meet these physiological
needs. Then we can turn our
attention to the need for safety and security. We may have
enough food to eat today, but we also
need to feel secure that we will have food, water, and shelter
tomorrow and the day after as well.
Once these safety needs are met, we can then address social
needs. The most basic social need is
the need to belong. Friendship, acceptance by others, and the
ability to both give and receive love

149. are powerful needs for all humans, and they drive much of our
interpersonal communication.
After we satisfy these needs, we are then motivated to fulfill
esteem needs, such as the need for
recognition, the pride of accomplishment, and the satisfaction
of self-respect.
Self-actualization is at the top of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.
A self-actualized individual is
far less dependent on others and is more autonomous and self-
directed. This person is able to
pursue dreams, desires, and goals and to strive to reach full
potential as a person because she is
less needy of praise and affection and less anxious for honors,
prestige, and rewards. This drive
for self-actualization is only activated, however, when lower-
level needs are met. Maslow theo-
rized that only a small percentage of people reach a level of
self-actualization, fully using their
talents, capacities, and potential. But he also believed the
motivation for self-actualization rarely
disappears. Even if full potential is attained, the motivation to
seek self-actualization will persist
because there are always more things to learn and new ways to
grow (Maslow, 1968).
Learning about Self and Others
In addition to interacting with other people to meet personal
needs, another primary function
of interpersonal communication is to learn about oneself, other
people, and the world. It helps
us develop a concept of ourselves. Researchers believe that self-
concept is a complex mix of how
we see ourselves, what others have told us about ourselves, and
what society says we should be.
This concept of self is learned and refined through interpersonal

150. communication and can change
throughout life. Chapter 2 further discusses how we develop
this concept of self and carry it into
communication with others. What people say to us and about us
to others contributes to our
concept of self, but we are free to accept or reject these
judgments.
Communication is also one of the most important ways that
societies maintain and pass on
knowledge about their society and culture. All societies
communicate the history, traditions, and
values of their culture through oral communication. The roots of
oral communication reach as
far back in human history as scholars can trace, and more
recently written language has been
used to communicate from generation to generation. When we
communicate with others, we
learn about what is important in their culture, and we also learn
about our own cultural heritage.
Think about a recent time when you visited another culture—it
could have been a foreign coun-
try, a different region of the United States, or even a group or
association with interests that differ
from yours. You may have tried to learn about this different
culture before your visit, possibly by
reading books, checking on websites, and asking friends who
are members of or have previously
visited that culture. When immersed in that culture, you likely
were highly engaged and obser-
vant: You more carefully observed your and others’ nonverbal
behaviors, as well as elements of
the environment that could give you better insight into your
immediate surroundings and how
they reflect that culture.

151. Building and Maintaining Relationships
A final important function of interpersonal communication is to
help build and maintain rela-
tionships with other people. Because humans are social animals,
we form a variety of relation-
ships, and we often band together into larger groups to offer one
another the protection and
What Is Interpersonal Communication? Chapter 1
strength of numbers and to pool our talents to help one another.
Our ancestors employed this
interpersonal communication function for survival. In fact,
psychologist and cognitive neurosci-
entist Merlin Donald (1991) argued that Homo erectus was a
unique species because they were
the first hunter-gatherers and were no longer living in isolation
from one another. Their society,
even in the absence of language, was one “where cooperation
and social coordination of action
were central to the species survival strategy” (Donald, 1991, pp.
149–150).
You probably have a variety of relationships and group
memberships that you believe are cen-
tral to who you are, including the relationships with your family
of origin and the family and
friendships that you form as an adult. Interpersonal
communication is an integral component of
building and maintaining these relationships; quite simply, a
close relationship cannot begin or
continue to exist without interpersonal communication.
Interpersonal communication helps us
meet needs for belonging and for acceptance and enables us to

152. share values and principles, which
are the foundation of human society.
Challenges of Interpersonal Communication
Along with the many beneficial functions of interpersonal
communication come a number of
challenges. These interpersonal challenges occur frequently,
and their presence increases the
chance that the communicators will be unable to share meaning
with one another.
Misperceptions
The most frequent and broadest challenge of interpersonal
communication is misperception. As
this chapter has illustrated, there are many factors that can
cause misperceptions. For example,
noise present during the interaction may contribute to
misperceptions, or the receiver may not
decode the message the way the sender intended. Kim and Pat’s
interaction clearly illustrates
misperceptions: Kim believed Pat was ignoring her when he did
not respond to her text right
away, but Pat was merely driving and unable to reply. As a
result of this misperception, conflict
occurs. Certainly, a conflict about what to do for dinner is not
likely to end Kim and Pat’s rela-
tionship, but if the couple continually experience similar
misperceptions in their interactions, it
is likely that their relationship will suffer, and possibly even
come to an end.
Misperceptions can also have serious consequences in medical
interactions. One study found
that primary care physicians who took the time to educate their
patients about what to expect
during the appointment and checked to make sure that the

153. patients understood what they said
were less often named in malpractice claims than physicians
who did not strive to reduce misper-
ceptions in these ways (Levinson, Roter, Mullooly, Dull, &
Frankel, 1997). With so many elements
in motion and sometimes in conflict with each other during a
given interaction, it is amazing that
communicators ever are able to share meaning with one another!
Long-Distance Relationships
Technological and transportation advances now give us the
option to live almost anywhere, and
we are also more likely to move multiple times to different
homes, cities, and even countries
during our lives (Zechner, 2008). One side effect of this
increased mobility is the growth of the
long-distance relationship (LDR), where “communication
opportunities are restricted (in the
view of the individuals involved) because of geographic
parameters and the individuals within
the relationship have expectations of a continued close
connection” (Stafford, 2005, p. 7). Long-
distant relationships can take many forms, including romantic,
friendship, or familial, and indi-
viduals can play a variety of roles in these LDRs, such as
providing social support, resources, and
care (Bevan & Sparks, 2011). You likely are in at least one
long-distance relationship right now
What Is Interpersonal Communication? Chapter 1
because of school, a job, the military, or even because you
moved to be with a spouse or closer to
your elderly parents.

154. According to Erin Sahlstein (2006), although LDRs have
similarities with geographically close
relationships, long-distance partners encounter a unique set of
challenges. A communication
scholar and expert in the study of long-distance relationships,
Sahlstein (2006) notes that indi-
viduals in long-distance relationships may encounter the
following challenges, which can affect
relationship maintenance:
• Unforeseen time, cost, and convenience issues
• Tension and stress management issues
• Belated information sharing
• Limited opportunities to provide comfort, reassurance,
and support
• Fewer interactions, in terms of both quantity and quality
• Difficulties assisting with individual and relationship
crises
However, Sahlstein’s (2004) research also emphasizes that
distance in LDRs can create unique
perspectives; partners in these relationships spend time both
together and apart, and they rec-
ognize there are both positive and negative aspects associated
with each of these interdepen-
dent relational states. For example, there is pressure for distant
partners to find time to spend
together, but distant partners also feel appreciation for each
other and relationship rejuvena-
tion and renewal when they do reunite (Sahlstein, 2004). New
technologies and transportation
options that increase the likelihood of being in an LDR also
provide abundant options for dis-
tant partners to connect and reconnect. Thus, LDRs can be
considered both a challenge and an

155. opportunity (we will take another look at LDRs in Chapter 8).
Increase in Intergenerational
Relationships
Mary Lee Hummert (2012) proposes that
“age is one of the most salient, and perhaps
automatic, ways of categorizing ourselves
as well as others” (p. 223). This is espe-
cially the case in intergenerational inter-
actions, which occur when members of
different generations communicate with
one another. Members of a particular gen-
eration, such as Baby Boomers or Gen Xers,
experience similar social trends, historical
events, political and social occurrences,
and technological advances that shape their
individual perspectives and views about the
world (Myers & Davis, 2012). Members of
different generations who interact with one
another are likely to approach the same sit-
uation or event in very different ways, creating an
intergenerational communication challenge
(Myers & Davis, 2012). Hummert (2012) presents three
associations between life stage or age and
communication that may also prompt intergenerational
communication problems:
• Developmental stages of particular age groups can affect
how members prefer to commu-
nicate and influence their actual communication practices.
David Sacks/Photodisc/Thinkstock
▲▲ Intergenerational communication occurs when communica-
tors in an interaction are members of different generations.

156. What Is Interpersonal Communication? Chapter 1
• Age groups or generations are often characterized by
differences in economic resources
and status, resulting in intergenerational conflict.
• Age-related beliefs or stereotypes can negatively
influence if and how members of different
generations interact with one another.
There are, however, a number of other reasons why there are
more opportunities for intergenera-
tional interactions. Increased life expectancy, advances in
medical testing and treatment options,
and even the growing use of social network sites such as
Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram all
increase the probability that we will communicate with someone
from a different generation. In
2012, for example, 53% of Americans age 65 and older reported
that they went online to use the
Internet and e-mail, and 30% of these seniors were also
members of at least one social network-
ing site (Zickuhr & Madden, 2012). Emerging studies also
reveal that online intergenerational
interactions can create constructive connections. Researchers
have found that having a parent on
Facebook actually decreased parent–child conflict for college
students (Kanter, Afifi, & Robbins,
2012). Overall, intergenerational communication can sometimes
be dissatisfying but can also be
warm and respectful (Hummert, 2012). Whether the interactions
are positive or negative, such
communication experiences can certainly provide new and

157. different insights about the world
around us.
Benefits of Studying Interpersonal Communication
Though most of us are born with the ability to communicate,
humans still have much to learn
about communication, and everyone can benefit from
systematically studying interpersonal
communication. What are some specific benefits of an increased
scholarly understanding of
communication between two people? The field of
communication research is broad and contin-
ues to evolve as communication itself adapts to new
interactions. Further study, for example, can
increase our understandings about our relationships or our
health. We next discuss some specific
reasons for the importance of studying interpersonal
communication.
Understanding the Difficulty in Forming and Maintaining
Interpersonal Relationships
A better understanding of interpersonal communication can
improve how we relate to others
in interpersonal relationships. Though it seems logical and
natural for us to form and main-
tain interpersonal relationships, many of us have trouble doing
both. For example, Americans
reported having one-third fewer confidants in 2004 than in
1985; this is a decrease from approxi-
mately three to two confidants (McPherson, Smith-Lovin, &
Brashears, 2006). In addition, even
though we are surrounded by others every day (via both
mediated and face-to-face channels),
many individuals experience chronic loneliness, which is
defined as an ongoing, bothersome

158. experience that occurs when an individual’s social network is
viewed as somehow deficient; in
other words, a person has fewer relationships than she desires
(Peplau & Perlman, 1982; Perlman
& Peplau, 1981). One study that traced participants over seven
years found that one-third of
these Dutch adults and 40–50% of the elderly experienced
loneliness at moderate to severe levels
(Dykstra, van Tilburg, & de Jong Gierveld, 2005). A different
study determined that U.S. col-
lege students reported having high-to-moderate levels of
chronic loneliness (Wang, Fink, & Cai,
2008). These findings suggest that individuals have fewer
people they can depend upon and that
many adults consistently struggle with loneliness.
Individuals have similar difficulties maintaining their
relationships. The U.S. divorce rate, which
is one of the highest of all industrialized nations, is a major
indicator of this struggle (Mullins,
Brackett, McKenzie, & Djamba, 2012). According to the
National Center for Health Statistics
What Is Interpersonal Communication? Chapter 1
(Goodwin, Mosher, & Chandra, 2010), 35% of first marriages
will end in separation or divorce
within 10 years. Paul Amato (2010) notes that 43–46% of all
U.S. marriages were predicted to end
in divorce at the conclusion of the twentieth century. An
emerging trend since the mid-1990s is
the notable jump in divorces among older age groups, also
referred to as gray divorces (Kreider
& Ellis, 2009): Americans age 50 and over were twice as likely

159. to divorce in 2010 as they were
just 20 years earlier (Brown & Lin, 2012). Nearly all of the
interpersonal predictors of divorce in
Amato’s (2010) review of divorce research also reflect
difficulty with interpersonal communica-
tion between spouses. Such difficulties include
• Domestic violence behaviors
• Acts of infidelity
• The frequency of conflict
• The perception that there are numerous relational issues
between the spouses
Many of the recent gray divorces are remarriages, which the
researchers note are often burdened
by communication issues such as stepchildren relationships,
money and wills, and healthcare
issues and decisions (Brown & Lin, 2012).
Researchers can also identify the impact of interpersonal
communication on relationship main-
tenance if they can define the specific reasons why couples
enter into marital therapy. For exam-
ple, one study found that problematic communication was the
most frequent reason spouses
reported entering into couples therapy (Doss, Simpson, &
Christensen, 2004). Another study
found that marital therapists ranked communication as the third
most significant problem area
for the couples that they see in therapy (Whisman, Dixon, &
Johnson, 1997). These findings
emphasize not only the complexity of maintaining relationships,
specifically romantic relation-
ships, but also serve as important justifications for further
studies about the role of interpersonal
communication in relationships. We will return to many of these

160. issues—including relation-
ship maintenance, infidelity, conflict, and relationship
deterioration and termination—later in
the text.
Understanding Links to Physical and Mental Health
Interpersonal communication issues affect a relationship’s
health, as we have just discussed, but
some issues are also related to physical and mental health
components. Both destructive and
constructive interpersonal communication messages are
connected with physical and mental
health. Constructive communication involves positive,
beneficial messages such as showing
that you are supportive, listening to your partner, and being
open and willing to share your
thoughts and feelings. Destructive communication, on the
other hand, is comprised of negative
and harmful messages that include hostility, insults, and
shouting or yelling. For example, greater
levels of communication apprehension and topic avoidance
during discussions with a close rela-
tional partner are examples of destructive communications
related to greater severity of irritable
bowel syndrome symptoms (Bevan, 2009).
The greatest amount of research on destructive communication
and health, however, focuses on
behaviors during conflicts. Specifically, across studies, the use
of competitive or hostile messages
in interpersonal conflicts is consistently linked to compromised
functions in the cardiovascular,
endocrine, and immune systems (Canary & Lakey, 2012; Robles
& Kiecolt-Glaser, 2003). This
relationship between hostile messages and health also includes
nonverbal communication. For

161. example, husbands’ negative facial expressions during conflicts
are associated with wives’ physi-
cal illness symptoms (Gottman, Levenson, & Woodin, 2001).
But conflict avoidance can also
be harmful. A 17-year study of 192 married couples considered
the effects of different conflict
What Is Interpersonal Communication? Chapter 1
management styles and found that when both spouses
suppressed their anger, mortality was
twice as likely than when one or both spouses expressed their
anger to one another (Harburg,
Kaciroti, Gleiberman, Julius, & Schork, 2008).
In contrast, two constructive messages that are beneficial to
one’s health are affectionate behav-
iors and social support. Kory Floyd’s body of research (Floyd,
2002; Floyd & Riforgiate, 2008)
tested his affection exchange theory and consistently found that
giving and receiving affectionate
messages is an important method for reducing individuals’
physiological stress. Touch as a form
of affectionate behavior can also reduce anxiety during surgery
(Moon & Cho, 2001). In addition,
a statistical review of 81 studies on social support and health
found that the presence of social
support in one’s life contributed to increased cardiovascular,
endocrine, and immune system
functioning (Uchino, Cacioppo, & Kiecolt-Glaser, 1996). Social
support also increases the likeli-
hood that patients will adhere to their prescribed medical
treatment regimens (DiMatteo, 2004).
Overall, a study that examined patterns of findings in previous

162. research (called a meta-analysis)
determined that those with adequate interpersonal relationships
have a 50% higher likelihood of
survival compared to those whose relationships are poor (Holt-
Lunstad, Smith, & Layton, 2010).
This interpersonal relationship effect is as significant as
quitting smoking and has more of an
impact than other risk factors such as lack of exercise and
obesity (Holt-Lunstad et al., 2010).
These are just a few of the hundreds of studies that found a
significant link between communi-
cation and health. There are numerous ways that communication
and relationship quality are
associated with health, and the potential physiological benefits
of interpersonal communication
further emphasizes the importance of continued study (see the
Web Field Trip feature for more
on the importance of interpersonal communication to mental
health).
W E B F I E L D T R I P
Making Interpersonal Connections
Mental Health America (http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/)
is an organization that aims to help
community members achieve overall wellness by focusing on
the importance of mental health. The
organization’s Live Your Life Well campaign, which you can
access via the website’s Living Well
dropdown menu, suggests 10 tools that you can use to achieve
mental wellness. Take a moment to
review each of the ten tools, and then consider the questions
below.

163. Critical Thinking Questions
1. According to Mental Health America, connecting with others
is the top tool for living life well.
How might our connections with others affect our individual
health and overall well-being?
2. How might you apply some of the suggested relationship tips
to your own interpersonal
situations?
Understanding the Constant Evolution of Interpersonal
Communication
Our methods of communication rapidly and constantly change,
now more than ever before.
Interpersonal communication was once limited to face-to-face
or written formats such as let-
ters, which often took weeks or months to arrive at their
destination. The invention and adop-
tion of the telegraph in the mid-1800s first allowed individuals
to efficiently communicate over
great distances. But it is only in the last 30 years that how we
communicate with one another
has substantially shifted and expanded. This shift started with
the widespread adoption of the
http://www.mentalhealthamerica.net/
What Is Interpersonal Communication? Chapter 1
Internet and e-mail, ramped up with the proliferation of mobile
telephones, text messaging, and
the development of social networking sites such as MySpace
and Facebook, and continues today
with the expansion of video conferencing services such as

164. Skype and FaceTime and sites such
as Twitter and Instagram. With one mouse click or one screen
tap, we can friend, unfriend, or
tweet an individual online and alter our interpersonal
relationships. But the increased incidence
of cyberbullying also reveals the dark side of such online
interactions.
Researchers have accordingly responded to these rapid changes
in communication. There has
been an explosion in the number of studies that examine how
mobile phones and social network-
ing impact how we relate to one another in just the last five
years. For example, U.S. teens now
use cell phones to text message more than any other means of
communication (including face-
to-face), and text messaging by teens increased from 51% in
2006 to 72% in 2010 (Lenhart, Ling,
Campbell, & Purcell, 2010). In addition, though romantic
partners use cell phones significantly
more than any other form of mediated communication to
interact with each other, use of text
messaging most strongly influences couples’ communication
and their satisfaction with their
relationship (Coyne, Stockdale, Busby, Iverson, & Grant, 2011).
To fully understand the nature of
interpersonal communication, we must consider its continual
evolution. Each chapter in this text
includes the feature IPC in the Digital Age, which highlights
specific research into the interesting
new ways that we can relate to each other.
I P C I N T H E D I G I T A L A G E
It’s Not Mediated versus Face-to-Face Communication, but
Mediated and Face-to-Face Communication

165. Early studies of online interpersonal interactions focused on one
of two objectives: (1) comparing
face-to-face (FtF) and computer-mediated communication
(CMC) to determine which is preferred or
optimal in particular contexts or situations, or (2) examining
one or more forms of CMC in complete
isolation from FtF interaction. Now, however, there is a new
line of research with roots in the com-
munication department at the University of Illinois, Urbana-
Champaign. The scholars behind this
research argue that continued separation of FtF and CMC
analyses will not accurately reflect current
communication styles. Instead, according to researchers John
Caughlin and Liesel Sharabi (2012,
2013), the interaction between mediated and nonmediated
communication is interdependent, or
is mutually influenced by each other, and is a fairly common
occurrence. They call this natural alter-
nation between CMC and FtF the communication
interdependence perspective.
This interdependence of mediated and nonmediated
communication is a plausible connection con-
sidering that many of our daily conversations do not have a
clear beginning or end; rather, they can
recur at different times and in different forms. For example,
Kim and Pat’s interaction did not take
place as a single event. Kim first e-mailed Pat about their
potential dinner plans, they then contin-
ued their interaction via texting and talking on the phone as
they both commuted home, transition-
ing to face-to-face discussions once Kim arrived.
Caughlin and Sharabi’s (2012, 2013) research determined that
FtF and CMC communication

166. simultaneously occur and that there is frequent interdependence
and overlap between these two
modes of communication. In addition, the more that romantic
partners are able to integrate their
nonmediated and mediated communication, the more their
relationships are close and satisfying
(Caughlin & Sharabi, 2012). When romantic partners only
discussed certain topics via mediated
(continued)
How This Book Will Help You Communicate More Competently
Chapter 1
1.4 How This Book Will Help You Communicate
More Competently
The field of interpersonal communication encompasses a large
body of information. The primary
goals in this text are to increase your awareness of the
principles of interpersonal communication
and to appropriately and effectively apply these principles in
everyday interactions. Interpersonal
communication is a lifelong study that requires ongoing practice
for everyone. The notion of
being both appropriate and effective in your interactions with
others is called communication
competence, and we will return to this term throughout the text
to illustrate its utility in a vari-
ety of communication situations.
To be a more competent communicator, be sure to keep the
following principles in mind and
work to demonstrate them in your everyday interactions with

167. other people:
• Take responsibility for your communication behavior.
Strive to be truthful, accurate, and
clear in your communication with others.
• Remember that communication involves shared meaning.
Each person in an interaction—
not just the sender—has an equal responsibility to work toward
achieving this mutual
understanding and interpretation.
• Acknowledge that your view of a situation is only one of
many views. Try to take the per-
spective of other people and consider how their point of view
makes sense to them.
• Respect others as well as yourself. Strive for win-win
outcomes in communication encoun-
ters, where both parties get their needs met, not outcomes where
one person “wins” an
argument or controls a discussion at the expense of the other
person’s feelings or interests.
• Listen and evaluate the other person’s statements before
responding. Choose your verbal and
nonverbal messages carefully.
• Practice being a competent communicator.
Communication skills are learned through
knowledge, motivation, and the skill that is earned through
practice. Each chapter in this
text will provide suggestions that will help you improve your
communication competence.
channels, relationship closeness and satisfaction declined, but

168. the opposite was true for topics only
discussed FtF—in such cases, both closeness and satisfaction
actually increased (Caughlin & Sharabi,
2013). These findings, though preliminary, offer an interesting
and accurate representation of the
intricate and multifaceted ways we currently interact with one
another. We have different channels
available for exchanging verbal and nonverbal messages, and
knowing this will help us determine
which messages work best for the different circumstances we
may encounter. Think about the most
recent interaction you had with a romantic partner or a close
friend, and then consider the ques-
tions below.
Critical Thinking Questions
1. Can you pinpoint when your interaction started—the very
first time you discussed a particular
topic with this person?
2. Can you identify the different channels you have since used
to continue this conversation—did
you text, e-mail, use the phone, video conference, use social
media, talk in person, write a note,
any and/or all of the above?
3. How did shifting between different mediated and
nonmediated forms of communication change
the nature of the interaction? Was it easy for you to make the
transitions?
Summary and Resources Chapter 1

169. Summary and Resources
Human beings are social animals and are born into this world
communicating with those around
them. We may think that communication is natural and take it
for granted; however, competent
communication is a skill that must be learned and is crucial in
both personal and professional life.
It requires awareness of what we (and others) are doing when
we communicate, and it requires
effort to improve communication skills and to minimize
misunderstandings. Communication is
thus defined as a process where two or more people strive to
create shared meaning using non-
verbal and verbal messages in a variety of contexts.
The goal of human communication is to create shared meaning.
Because meaning is in people,
not in words, communication skills must be used to reach
mutual understanding about what a
symbol or word means. Communication involves interactions
with other people that continue
throughout life. It is ongoing and ever changing. The give-and-
take of human communication
appears to be unique to human beings, and it takes work to build
and maintain the relationships
we form with others.
The study of interpersonal communication as an academic
discipline began in the mid-twentieth
century and is flourishing today. Researchers continue to learn
about the complex subject of
interpersonal communication, adding to our understanding of
this subject. Theories and mod-
els of communication that evolved during the first decades of
formal study can be divided into
two types: (1) the linear model that envisioned interpersonal

170. communication as one-directional,
much like shooting an arrow at a passive receiver; and (2)
transaction models, in which the par-
ticipants are senders and receivers simultaneously, similar to a
dance in which each person gets
cues from the other, and each individual’s moves influence the
direction of the communication.
The interpersonal communication process consists of several
key elements:
• The sender—the source of the communication
• The receiver—the recipient of the message and an active
participant in the communication
process
• The message—the content of the communication, which is
transmitted in some type
of code
• The channel—the medium through which the
communication is transmitted
• Feedback—the response to the communication that a
communicator gets from others
about the message
• The communication context—the situation or environment
in which the communication
takes place
Noise, information unrelated to the message, can take different
forms and can disturb or inter-
rupt the communication process. Interpersonal communication
is a specific type of communica-
tion in which two individuals interact—a dyad—using mediated
or face-to-face channels (often

171. both). Interpersonal communication helps us meet personal
needs, including self-actualization.
It helps us develop a concept of self and learn about others, and
it is one of the most important
ways in which societies pass on their cultural heritage.
Interpersonal communication also helps
us build and maintain relationships and enables us to share
values and principles.
Yet interpersonal communication can also be challenging in a
number of ways. We can experi-
ence misperceptions and deal with unique difficulties in our
long-distance and intergenerational
relationships. Understanding these challenges is one benefit to
studying interpersonal communi-
cation. Other benefits to this investigation include further
uncovering why it is difficult to form
Summary and Resources Chapter 1
and maintain interpersonal relationships, understanding how
interpersonal communication is
related to mental and physical health, and learning how
interpersonal communication is con-
stantly evolving in response to the rapid growth of technology
and mediated communication.
Communication is a complex process, and we will never know
everything there is to know about
ourselves and our relationships with others. However, the more
we do understand, the better we
can relate to others in our world, the more we can enhance our
interpersonal relationships, and
the more competent we can be in our interactions with others.

172. Key Terms
channel The path through which the message is transmitted
from sender to receiver.
communication A process by which two or more individuals
create shared meaning using
verbal and nonverbal messages in a variety of contexts.
communication competence The notion of being both
appropriate and effective in communi-
cation interactions with others.
constructive communication Positive, beneficial messages
such as showing support, listen-
ing, and being open and willing to share thoughts and feelings.
context The circumstances in which an interaction occurs.
decode The process of interpreting the message in the way
the sender intends.
destructive communication Negative and harmful messages
that include hostility, insults,
and shouting or yelling.
dyad Communication between two people, which is the building
block for all other types of
communication.
emoticons Combinations of keyboard characters that indicate
the emotional state of the per-
son writing the message.
encode The form or code of the message a sender wants to

173. communicate to a receiver.
feedback Any information, verbal or nonverbal, a
communicator gets from others in response
to a message.
information Stimuli from individuals’ surroundings that
contribute to their beliefs and
knowledge.
information source The sender of the message that is
being transmitted.
interdependent A situation in which individuals or message
channels exert mutual influence
upon one another.
interpersonal communication (IPC) A unique type of
communication that involves two
individuals interacting via face-to-face or mediated channels.
language The unique ability to create, use, and exchange
common words or symbols that rep-
resent objects and events.
long-distance relationship (LDR) A relationship in
which the individuals involved are sepa-
rated by large geographic distances.
Summary and Resources Chapter 1
mediated communication Communication in which someone or
something intervenes
between the sender and the receiver in the communication

174. process.
message The content or idea the sender wishes to
communicate to the receiver.
models Simple representations of a process or an object that
clarifies the complicated nature of
a specific phenomenon or process.
noise Anything that interferes with, corrupts, or changes
the communication signal as it trav-
els through a channel.
nonverbal communication Visual and vocal means, other than
language, used to communi-
cate information.
receiver The recipient of the message the sender transmits.
self-actualization A concept identified by Abraham Maslow
that emphasizes that humans
have an essential nature and a set of basic human needs that
motivate us to seek psychological
health and full humanness.
sender The source, or initiator, of the communication.
signal A transmitted message, which travels along a channel
or path to a destination.
symbols Words, pictures, sounds, marks, or objects used to
represent particular ideas, objects,
or qualities.
theories Formal claims and beliefs that researchers develop
and test in controlled studies or in

175. real-world scenarios.
transaction The continual interplay, or back and forth, of
messages between communica-
tion participants. Both parties are active participants who
simultaneously send and receive
information.
transaction model A later communication model that
emphasizes the role of transactions in
the communication process. Communication takes place to meet
the needs of both parties.
verbal communication Language or the use of words to
communicate.
Critical Thinking and Discussion Questions
1. Consider a conversation that you recently had that you felt
was successful and another one
that you believe went poorly. Consider the elements of the
transaction model of communica-
tion: What are specific differences in these two conversations
that resulted in these different
outcomes?
2. How can noise interfere with shared meaning in an
interaction? Which of the four types of
noise do you think could create the most interference and why?
3. Which element of the transaction model of communication do
you think is the most impor-
tant for creating shared meaning in an interaction and why?
4. How is face-to-face communication similar to and different
from mediated communication?

176. Use terms from the chapter to complete your answer.
5. To what extent do you believe that your own interpersonal
relationships are affected by the
problems or challenges with interpersonal communication
discussed in this chapter?