The document provides a list of 9 qualities that whoever a person marries must have, including being in love with Jesus, having a good work ethic, not having uncontrolled anger, addictions, bitterness, being selfish, greedy, possessive, or a liar. It emphasizes finding a partner who has these qualities and leaving the choice of a marriage partner up to God. Discussion questions are also provided to reflect on the qualities and choosing a marriage partner.

2. 1. Whoever you marry must
have been in love with Jesus
before they met you.

3. Genesis 2:7 Then the LORD God
formed the man from the dust of the
ground. He breathed the breath of life
into the man’s nostrils, and the man
became a living person. In Genesis, we
see that man had a relationship with
God before he had a relationship with
his spouse. This is good counsel. Some
people all of a sudden get religion when
they like someone. He/she must be
spiritual before you and away from you.

4. 2. Whoever you marry
must have a good work
ethic.

5. Genesis 2:19 “So the LORD God
formed from the ground all the wild
animals and all the birds of the sky. He
brought them to the man[c]
to see what
he would call them, and the man chose
a name for each one. 20
He gave names
to all the livestock, all the birds of the
sky, and all the wild animals. But still
there was no helper just right for him.”
Here is another thing man had before
he saw his wife. A job. The general rule
is: “If he ain’t working, he ain’t worth it.”
Bad grammar. Good counsel.

6. 3. Whoever you marry must
not be nursing any
uncontrolled anger.

7. Proverbs 22:24 says, “Do not make
friends with a hot-tempered person;
do not associate with one easily
angered” (NIV). Do you know why?
Because uncontrolled anger reveals
deep insecurity and low self-worth.
That is why it is important to take
your time. Uncontrolled anger usually
does not manifest itself right away.
You lose nothing by waiting. You can
lose a lot by hurrying it up.

8. 4. Whoever you marry must not be
stuck in an addiction.

9. Proverbs 23:20 says, “Don’t
associate with people who drink too
much wine or stuff themselves with
food” (TEV). Only two things are
mentioned here, food and alcohol,
but there are a thousand ways to get
addicted. Whatever addiction they
have, usually gets worse after
marriage.

10. 5. Whoever you
marry must not be
harboring
bitterness.

11. Bitterness is like a poison — it eats
you alive. Whatever you resent, you
begin to resemble. To stop resenting;
you’ve got to release it. The Bible
says in Hebrews 12:15, “Guard
against turning back from the grace
of God. Let no one become like a
bitter plant that grows up and causes
many troubles with its poison” (GNT).
Holding bitterness does nothing to
solve the issue. It’s like drinking
poison and expecting the rat to die.

12. 6. Whoever you
marry must not be
selfish.

13. Why? Proverbs 28:25 says,
“Selfishness only causes trouble.”
It is well to remember that the
entire population of the universe,
with one trifling exception, is
composed of others. (Andrew J.
Holmes) At the root of every sinful
act, every hurtful word, every
inappropriate thought lies one
common denominator:
Selfishness.

14. 7. Whoever you marry
must not be greedy.

15. Proverbs 15:27 says, “Greed
brings grief to the whole family”
(NLT). If you marry a greedy
spouse, you will be in debt your
entire life. Notice the
conversations about material
things. Notice how they refer to
people better off or worse off.
That will tell you a lot about their
values.

16. 8. Whoever you marry must not
be possessive and jealous.

17. Job 5:2 “Surely resentment
destroys the fool, and jealousy kills
the simple.” One major red flag is a
boyfriend/girlfriend that resents you
spending time with your family,
friends, and other endeavors that
do not include them. While they are
an important part of your life, they
aren’t the ONLY part of your life.

18. 9. Whoever you marry
must tell the truth.

19. Proverbs 20:7 says this: “A
righteous person lives on the
basis of his integrity. Blessed
are his children after he is
gone” (GWT). Love is based
on trust, and trust is based on
truth. If you don’t tell me the
truth, I can’t trust you. And if I
can’t trust you, how can I love
you?

20. Leonard Ravenhill gives one
of the best counsels on
dating and marriage, “God
always gives his best to
those who leave the choice
to him.” Are you?
http://purposedriven.com/blogs/dailyhope/index.html?contentid=13381

21. Discussion Questions:
1. The list is very detailed. Are there
still people in this world that have all
those qualifications?
2. If you were to rank the nine, which
would be your top three and why?
3. Why is it important not to settle as
you look for a marriage partner?
4. Which one is the most dangerous
to NOT have? Why?
5. How do I know I am “letting God
chose?

22. This resource is brought to you by:
www.leadsu.org
A Ministry of the Southern Union
Ministerial Department
Contact us @
rhernandez@southernunion.com