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DON’T TELL ME!


Showing
◦ Makes use of sensory
details
◦ Provides imagery that
allows the reader to
feel present in the
memory
◦ Evokes emotional
responses
◦ INTERESTING to read!



Telling
◦ Simply states what is
happening
◦ Doesn’t make the
reader feel connected
◦ Lacks emotions
◦ BORING to read!


There are a number
of “telling”
examples. Use
these examples to
let your students
practice writing
“showing”
snapshots.



Or…allow them to
see how “telling”
examples can be
turned into
“showing”
snapshots that add
interest and
imagery!
Telling:

Showing:

I went hunting, and I shot a deer.

My cousin, Scotty, and I were having a good
time. Fall could be felt around us. The sun
was shining on the leaves making the
beautiful fall colors light up the mountains
where we had gone searching for the deer.
After having been taught several useful
hunting techniques, I was eager to put them
to good use. “Scotty, did you hear that?” A
nod from him confirmed that an animal was
close by. The look in his eyes and the second
nod confirmed that he had seen it about the
same time I had: less than ten feet away
stood a beautiful buck that must have been at
least eight points. Raising my gun, I was
careful to aim with accuracy and good
technique. I could feel my finger slowly
moving the trigger. The bang from the gun’s
barrel filled our hears. “You got him, Logan!”
exclaimed my cousin. Walking over, I was all
smiles.
Telling:

Showing:

House training was the hardest. He
used the bathroom everywhere.

I knew that if I planned to keep Bengie
indoors, he was going to have to be
housetrained. I wasn’t sure exactly how
to do that, but I knew that my new
friend and I were going to have to learn
this together. I would frequently pick
him up and take him outside. He never
seemed to go right then. Frustration
started to take over me after I found his
business in the floor more than once. I
kept telling him, “Bengie, when you
have to go, let me know. Bark, go to
the door, do something.” Needless to
say, I cleaned up more messes than I
wanted, but he was worth it, and yes,
finally he did become housetrained.
Telling:

Showing:

It was the fastest slide I have ever been
on.

Sitting atop the giant water slide, I had
a picturesque view of the aqua colored
water around me. You have never really
seen the ocean, until you see it from an
arial view. Even though, I wasn’t exactly
in the air, I was elevated enough to have
a pretty spectacular view. Upon finally
starting to move, I could feel myself
gaining speed and the distant water was
coming closer and closer. The giant
smile on my face turned into laughter at
about the exact moment that SPLASH!
The steep drop had propelled me into
the water. What a rush!
Telling:

Showing:

His favorite thing to do was for me and
him to lay in the igloos that my dad and
I had made.

Kodiak and I loved to crawl inside the
creviced opening of the igloo that my
dad and I had made. The temperature
around me was chilly and made my
nose feel like an ice cream cone that
was left in the freezer a little too long,
but the warmth from Kodiak’s soft fur
filled my body with a warmth that made
this moment tolerable. I’m not sure
why my dog liked being inside there so
much…maybe it was only the calm
before the storm. After only a short
while, I would see Kodiak’s stretching
out his front paws and then extending
to a full stand. His still, peaceful state
would be past. Leaving the igloo, I
could see him nearing the snow that I
had sculpted into a beautiful snowman.
Boom! My snowman had been recruited
for a game of football and Kodiak had
made the first successful tackle.
Telling:

Showing:

I remember going through the tornado
simulation.

My mom was across from me, as we had
taken our position into the tornado
simulation. A look of apprehension was
on her face. I asked, “What do you
think this will feel like?” Just as she
smiled, we could feel the winds start to
pick up. At first it was mild, but the
gauge on the monitor kept going higher
and higher. I felt the wind slightly
throwing me off balance, but it was
invigorating to experience the thrill of
the tornado without the danger of
trying to get to safety. When we were
maxed out at full tornado simulation, I
smiled a smile of success. What a
moment to gain more understanding of
nature, the environment, and even
better to have experienced it with my
mom.
Telling:

Showing:

The first thing we saw was
the Tennessee Titans
football stadium.

As we neared our
destination, the Meca Car
Show, the Tenneesse
Titans football stadium
came into view. “Look over
there, Dad,” I
enthusiastically
commented. My dad
nodded. I was anxious to
arrive at the car show, but
was just as eager to picture
myself playing on the field
of an NFL team.
Telling:

Showing:

Well, after we would get done talking,
we could go and play.

Talking with my niece is always fun, but
playing is where the fun really starts.
My niece loves to run from one toy to
another, tossing the ball from her to
me. I gently toss it back, hoping she
will catch it because I want her to feel
success. Soon, her attention changes,
and she has spotted her See and Say.
Bringing it to me, I pull the cord and we
listen to the words, as the machine
echoes them out for us both to hear. I
know it won’t be long until she dart off
to find another toy, but I pull the string
again and hear the “mooooooooooo”
ehco from the toy.
Telling:

Showing:

Well, when we got him
home he was so playful.

As soon as Uno entered the
house, he made himself
comfortable and started
exploring. His nose
seemed to be savoring the
scent of his new home.
His tail was wagging
proudly, and then he
darted into a full run. I
went after him and was
eager to have my first play
match with my new friend,
Uno.
Telling:

Showing:

He would pull out wires from
underneath the truck.

By the time, Buster had gained thirty
pounds, he could pretty much make
anything his own toy. I will never forget
the time that he decided to turn my
dad’s truck into one of those toys. He
had climbed underneath the truck and
found some wires that caught his
attention. Batting at them with his paw
only created more interest, as they
swung loosely. Soon, his teeth were
involved and he was tugging. I imagine
that as he pulled the wires kept giving
more and more until finally he had
completely torn them from underneath
the truck. I wasn’t there to see him
destroy the wires, but I was around to
watch my dad felt absolutely furious.

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Show me, don't tell me

  • 2.  Showing ◦ Makes use of sensory details ◦ Provides imagery that allows the reader to feel present in the memory ◦ Evokes emotional responses ◦ INTERESTING to read!  Telling ◦ Simply states what is happening ◦ Doesn’t make the reader feel connected ◦ Lacks emotions ◦ BORING to read!
  • 3.  There are a number of “telling” examples. Use these examples to let your students practice writing “showing” snapshots.  Or…allow them to see how “telling” examples can be turned into “showing” snapshots that add interest and imagery!
  • 4. Telling: Showing: I went hunting, and I shot a deer. My cousin, Scotty, and I were having a good time. Fall could be felt around us. The sun was shining on the leaves making the beautiful fall colors light up the mountains where we had gone searching for the deer. After having been taught several useful hunting techniques, I was eager to put them to good use. “Scotty, did you hear that?” A nod from him confirmed that an animal was close by. The look in his eyes and the second nod confirmed that he had seen it about the same time I had: less than ten feet away stood a beautiful buck that must have been at least eight points. Raising my gun, I was careful to aim with accuracy and good technique. I could feel my finger slowly moving the trigger. The bang from the gun’s barrel filled our hears. “You got him, Logan!” exclaimed my cousin. Walking over, I was all smiles.
  • 5. Telling: Showing: House training was the hardest. He used the bathroom everywhere. I knew that if I planned to keep Bengie indoors, he was going to have to be housetrained. I wasn’t sure exactly how to do that, but I knew that my new friend and I were going to have to learn this together. I would frequently pick him up and take him outside. He never seemed to go right then. Frustration started to take over me after I found his business in the floor more than once. I kept telling him, “Bengie, when you have to go, let me know. Bark, go to the door, do something.” Needless to say, I cleaned up more messes than I wanted, but he was worth it, and yes, finally he did become housetrained.
  • 6. Telling: Showing: It was the fastest slide I have ever been on. Sitting atop the giant water slide, I had a picturesque view of the aqua colored water around me. You have never really seen the ocean, until you see it from an arial view. Even though, I wasn’t exactly in the air, I was elevated enough to have a pretty spectacular view. Upon finally starting to move, I could feel myself gaining speed and the distant water was coming closer and closer. The giant smile on my face turned into laughter at about the exact moment that SPLASH! The steep drop had propelled me into the water. What a rush!
  • 7. Telling: Showing: His favorite thing to do was for me and him to lay in the igloos that my dad and I had made. Kodiak and I loved to crawl inside the creviced opening of the igloo that my dad and I had made. The temperature around me was chilly and made my nose feel like an ice cream cone that was left in the freezer a little too long, but the warmth from Kodiak’s soft fur filled my body with a warmth that made this moment tolerable. I’m not sure why my dog liked being inside there so much…maybe it was only the calm before the storm. After only a short while, I would see Kodiak’s stretching out his front paws and then extending to a full stand. His still, peaceful state would be past. Leaving the igloo, I could see him nearing the snow that I had sculpted into a beautiful snowman. Boom! My snowman had been recruited for a game of football and Kodiak had made the first successful tackle.
  • 8. Telling: Showing: I remember going through the tornado simulation. My mom was across from me, as we had taken our position into the tornado simulation. A look of apprehension was on her face. I asked, “What do you think this will feel like?” Just as she smiled, we could feel the winds start to pick up. At first it was mild, but the gauge on the monitor kept going higher and higher. I felt the wind slightly throwing me off balance, but it was invigorating to experience the thrill of the tornado without the danger of trying to get to safety. When we were maxed out at full tornado simulation, I smiled a smile of success. What a moment to gain more understanding of nature, the environment, and even better to have experienced it with my mom.
  • 9. Telling: Showing: The first thing we saw was the Tennessee Titans football stadium. As we neared our destination, the Meca Car Show, the Tenneesse Titans football stadium came into view. “Look over there, Dad,” I enthusiastically commented. My dad nodded. I was anxious to arrive at the car show, but was just as eager to picture myself playing on the field of an NFL team.
  • 10. Telling: Showing: Well, after we would get done talking, we could go and play. Talking with my niece is always fun, but playing is where the fun really starts. My niece loves to run from one toy to another, tossing the ball from her to me. I gently toss it back, hoping she will catch it because I want her to feel success. Soon, her attention changes, and she has spotted her See and Say. Bringing it to me, I pull the cord and we listen to the words, as the machine echoes them out for us both to hear. I know it won’t be long until she dart off to find another toy, but I pull the string again and hear the “mooooooooooo” ehco from the toy.
  • 11. Telling: Showing: Well, when we got him home he was so playful. As soon as Uno entered the house, he made himself comfortable and started exploring. His nose seemed to be savoring the scent of his new home. His tail was wagging proudly, and then he darted into a full run. I went after him and was eager to have my first play match with my new friend, Uno.
  • 12. Telling: Showing: He would pull out wires from underneath the truck. By the time, Buster had gained thirty pounds, he could pretty much make anything his own toy. I will never forget the time that he decided to turn my dad’s truck into one of those toys. He had climbed underneath the truck and found some wires that caught his attention. Batting at them with his paw only created more interest, as they swung loosely. Soon, his teeth were involved and he was tugging. I imagine that as he pulled the wires kept giving more and more until finally he had completely torn them from underneath the truck. I wasn’t there to see him destroy the wires, but I was around to watch my dad felt absolutely furious.