2. • Use of self – How will you present yourself to your client? How will you behave?
• You must know yourself in and out and have awareness of how you present in
relationships. When you get nervous/excited/irritable/etc.
• Be in touch with your biases, stereotypes, beliefs
• Be Genuine!
• Remember, your role is to understand the client’s beliefs and to accept them and
their emotional/spiritual/physical/mental being. To help validate, support,
promote change where the client feels this needs to happen – roll with resistance.
3. • Helping relationships – are relationships that the attitudes, thoughts, and feelings
expressed by the therapist are intended to be helpful to the client.
• Core qualities –
• Warmth – Being nonjudgmental, leaning in, smiling, tone of voice, eye contact.
• Empathy – Ability to understand another person’s emotions, feelings, thoughts, and
behavior from that person’s viewpoint. This helps the client to feel heard, seen,
validated, cmotivates them to connect with themselves. Mirror neurons. You must be
willing to be empathetic, a desire to learn and understand your client. Understand, but
stay separate with your own emotions. This is not the same as pity.
4. • Respect – Unconditional positive regard (Carl Rogers). Expressive affirming words
and an appreciation for the bravery of sharing, even if it is harmful behaviors.
Looking for the good. If you feel the need to be the expert in the session, you
may not be respected by your client. Why is this do you think? Be polite and
follow appropriate cultural norms.
• Genuineness – Sincere and authentic. Admit mistakes, be approachable. You are
not the expert in the room.
5. • Common mistakes –
• Offering advice – Therapist must fully understand the issues at hand, before
offering helpful suggestions. Do not call it advice – the client gets to decide what
is best for them in their life. You may make suggestions and follow up with “What
do you think about what I just said?” “Does this make sense to you?”
• Reassuring – Saying things such as “It will be okay” is not always helpful unless
you know that it truly will be okay. These types of statements can be seen as
minimizing to the client.
6. • Offering excuses – Help to define the behavior.
• Asking leading questions – These are questions that give advice. “Have you
considered talking in a calm voice to your partner?” If the client wants
suggestions, they will ask, or you may ask for permission to give a suggestion.
• Labeling – Person first language – allows you to see the person before the
challenge.
• Interrogating – Asking clients – rapid fire. This is overwhelming and gives little
room for empathy, as you cannot hear what they wish to say.
