Raising godly children 19 jun 15

2
Serving God As Families
My own experience….
Chen Su Lan Children’s Home
Bendemeer Tuition Project
Prisons Ministry
Annual Caroling Project
Yangon Orphanage
Overseas Mission Trips

6
Yangon Orphanage Building Project

12
A family that serves together….
a. Stays together

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a. Stays together
b. Parents are disciple makers

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a. Stays together
b. Parents are disciple makers
c. Testimony is greater

19
Lesson 1 -
Godly values affect nations
and generations.

18 Abraham will surely become a
great and powerful nation, and all
nations on earth will be blessed
through him.
GENESIS 18:
18-19

18 Abraham will surely become a
great and powerful nation, and all
nations on earth will be blessed
through him.
19 For I have chosen him, so that he
will direct his children and his
household after him to keep the way
of the Lord by doing what is right and
just, so that the Lord will bring about
for Abraham what he has promised
him.”
GENESIS 18:
18-19

View their MOM as being
“very religious”
Have experienced either
family devotions, prayer
or Bible reading in the home
Today’s Reality
Percentage of churched youth who:
48 %
23 %View their DAD as being
“very religious”
27 %

experienced a
family service project
talked with
MOM about faith
29 %
Percentage of churched youth who have:
28 %
13 %talked with
DAD about faith
Today’s Reality

of today’s children/youth who are
participating in church programs are going to
disengage from their Christian faith.
60 %-90 %
The Result/Reality

of today’s children/youth who are
participating in church programs are going to
disengage from their Christian faith.
60 %-90 %
The Result/Reality
Why? = Hypocrisy

16 When the men got up to leave, they
looked down toward Sodom, and
Abraham walked along with them to see
them on their way.17 Then the Lord said,
“Shall I hide from Abraham what I am
about to do?
20 Then the Lord said, “The outcry
against Sodom and Gomorrah is so
great and their sin so grievous 21 that I
will go down and see if what they have
done is as bad as the outcry that has
reached me.”
GENESIS 18:
16-21

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Exercise -
List out the VALUES you want
your children to have.

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Lesson 2 -
Live the VALUES you want to
teach.

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2 Corinthians 3:2-3
“You yourselves are our letter….known
and read by everybody. You show that
you are a letter from Christ…..written
not with ink but with the Spirit of the
living God……”

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Deuteronomy 6:6-7
“These commandments that I give you
are to be upon your hearts. Impress
them on your children. Talk about them
when you sit at home and when you walk
along the road, when you lie down and
when you get up.”

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Sermons We See
BY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST

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Sermons We See
BY EDGAR ALBERT GUEST
I'd rather see a sermon than hear one any day;
I'd rather one should walk with me than merely tell the
way.
The eye's a better pupil and more willing than the ear,
Fine counsel is confusing, but example's always clear;
And the best of all the preachers are the men who live
their creeds,
For to see good put in action is what everybody needs.

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I soon can learn to do it if you'll let me see it done;
I can watch your hands in action, but your tongue too
fast may run.
And the lecture you deliver may be very wise and true,
But I'd rather get my lessons by observing what you do;
For I might misunderstand you and the high advice you
give,
But there's no misunderstanding how you act and how
you live.

35
When I see a deed of kindness, I am eager to be kind.
When a weaker brother stumbles and a strong man stays
behind
Just to see if he can help him, then the wish grows strong in
me
To become as big and thoughtful as I know that friend to be.
And all travelers can witness that the best of guides today
Is not the one who tells them, but the one who shows the
way.

36
One good man teaches many, men believe what they
behold;
One deed of kindness noticed is worth forty that are told.
Who stands with men of honor learns to hold his honor
dear,
For right living speaks a language which to every one is
clear.
Though an able speaker charms me with his eloquence, I
say,
I'd rather see a sermon than to hear one, any day.

Positions Held:
Dy Director/Chief of Staff
Singapore Prisons Service
Senior Director,
Rehabilitation & Protection
Ministry of Social and
Family Development
Lesson 3

39
Lesson 3 -
Do NOT outsource parenting.

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Lesson 4 -
Your child is NOT exam marks.

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Qn: Do you really love your wife?
Qn: Do you really love your husband?
Qn: Do you really love your child?

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Expectations vs Love
based parenting

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Parenting That Creates
Fear, Shame And Guilt
8.1
Expectations
Disappointment
s
PerformanceGuilt and shame
Expectations based love creates fear
FEAR

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How We Love
• I expect you to make me happy and give me
security and/or significance.
• My dreams/ideals are centered around you.
• I give you the power to make me happy or
miserable.
• I expect you to live up to my created idol of a
husband/wife/child.
• Because I treat you well, you should become
what I expect.

47
Idolatry And An Idolizing Spirit
• I look to you to supply things only God can
supply, i.e. Happiness, Fulfillment, Significance.
• You become the centre of my life orientation.
• I create (carve out) the idol in my mind which
you need to become.
• I control/manipulate you to become my idol.
• You or I (my desires) become the center of my
dreams and expectations.

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How God Loves
• One-sided, irrespective of return.
• No expectations or manipulation.
• He keeps on forgiving.
• Self sacrificially.
• He loves us even though we are “useless”.
• He gives and gives from the inside out.

49
If We Really Love Like God Loves
• We will not have any selfish expectations
• We will not try to manipulate or control
• We will keep on forgiving
• We will break down all idols

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In Conclusion
• The value of a person will not be determined by
what we can get from them.
• The value of a person is that they give me an
opportunity to love as I have been loved by
Jesus.
• The more useless they are, the more valuable
they become.

51
Our Love vs God’s Love
• Our love is:
• Externally determined (you are given the power to
make me unhappy).
• Exchange determined (you need to earn my love or
return it).
• Expectations determined (you have to meet the
expectations of my love).
8.2.1

52
Our Love vs God’s Love
• God wants to change it to the pure love of his
own heart, which is:
• Internally (vs eternally) sourced.
• One-directionally unconditional.
• Intentionally driven.
8.2.2

53
Eternally Sourced Love Is Pure
And Creates No Fear
• Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes
from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God
and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know
God, because God is love. This is how God showed his
love among us: He sent his one and only son into the
world that we might live through him. (1 John 4:7-9)
• And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.
God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and
God in them. (1 John 4:16)
• It is clear, God and God alone should be the source of
love.
8.3

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Lesson 5 -
Practise love-based parenting, not
expectations-based parenting.

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Exercise -
Recollect childhood memories
of your father (and mother)

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Lesson 6 -
Decide TODAY how you want
your children to remember you.

57
Lesson 7 -
Create memories in fun and
creative ways.

58
Exercise -
Select a child. Plan a
memorable activity for him/her.

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Lesson 8 -
Provide a happy and safe HOME
for your children.

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A Father Should Be The Thermostat
Of The House
• A thermometer measures temperature, a
thermostat sets temperature.
• Mothers determine the emotional temperature
in the house far more frequently than fathers.
• The leader is the most dominant ingredient in
an emotional soup.(Daniel Goleman)
• To assume his God-given role as head of the
house, a father needs to become the most
dominant ingredient in the emotional soup.
8.10

62
Mommy Comes First
• How we love our children’s mother is the first
and primary relationship our children observe.
• To love our wives well is the core of our
children’s security.
• Children grow up in an emotional “security
complex” when they know that:
• Dad will never leave mommy (for better or for
worse, until death do us part).
• Dad and mom will find a way to settle their
conflicts.
• Dad and mom have a total commitment to respect,
comfort and support each other
8.4

22 Years Ago - 28 Nov 1992
Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their labor;
If either of them falls down,
one can help the other up.
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken
- Ecclesiastes 4 : 9 – 12

64
Exercise -
Pray as a couple (or pair).

65
“Train (start) a child in the way he
should go, and when he is old he
will not turn from it.”
– Prov 22:6

67
Lesson 9 -
Teach them young.
If not, others will.

Loving the Word
 Age-appropriate Bibles
 Display & use Bibles
 Bible reading plans
 Devotional/Study Bibles
(1 Peter 3: 15-16) …Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks
you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness
and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously
against your good behaviour in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.
Truth
Worldview (Discernment)
Apologetics (Defending
faith)

The Battle for Hearts and Minds
“The [Secular] Humanistic system of values has
now become the predominant way of thinking in
most of the power centers of society.
It has outstripped Judeo-Christian precepts in
the universities, in the news media, in the
entertainment industry, in the judiciary, in the
federal bureaucracy, in business, medicine, law,
psychology, sociology, in the arts, in many public
schools and, to be sure, in the halls of Congress.”
Dr James Dobson

TrueU Worldview Camp
18th-22th Dec 2013
Le Grandeur Palm Resort Johor

Feedback from Adults
“I learned that science is not in conflict with God;
Science supports God’s existence.”
“I learned the language of the other beliefs and how to
articulate their difference from my Christian faith.”
“…the big bang theory did not contradict creation but
instead strengthen the truth that ultimately our omnipotent
God was the one who created the universe.”

Feedback from Youths
“My faith in God has increased and I feel more
convicted to share with others about what I have learnt
to enlighten them about the existence of a true God.
I'm also amazed at extent of God's creation of the
universe and his ability to create each individual so
special and unique.”
“The True U lessons really opened up my eyes and helped
me understand that my faith in God has to be strong, and
that I must not just be able to stay rooted in Christ when I
go into university of higher education, but I must also be
prepared to answer questions regarding my faith.”

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“But my children
still won’t listen!”

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“speak the truth in love”
Eph 4:15

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Lesson 10 –
Rules - Relationship = Rebellion
Rules + Relationship = Response

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Exercise –
How is your relationship with your child?
Is there something you should stop doing,
start doing or do more to strengthen the
relationship?

78
Lesson 11 -
Not just the “what”,
but also the “why”.

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Forbidden Sexual Practices
(Leviticus 18: 1-5)
Then the Lord said to Moses, “Give the following
instructions to the people of Israel. I am the Lord
your God. So do not act like the people in Egypt,
where you used to live, or like the people of
Canaan, where I am taking you. You must obey
all my regulations and be careful to obey my
decrees, for I am the Lord your God. If you obey
my decrees and my regulations, you will find life
through them. I am the Lord.

Design
Blessings
Benefits
Deviation
Curses
Costs/
Consequences
1
2
3
4
5 6
8
9
7
10

Strengthof
Family/Nation
Time
10
1 Go back to
God’s design

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Lesson 12 -
Return to God’s design for
marriage and family.

88
Letter to Dad on Father’s Day 2013
(from Sarah Wong, 18 years old)
“……..I really am an expensive kid, not in terms of money
maybe but in terms of A LOT OF TIME – but you’ve always been
there…….

“…….when I needed a a friend to share things with and whine
to after floorball trainings,
a shoulder to cry on after really hard days,
a chauffer to keep my rides entertaining,
a food delivery man to keep my tummy happy,
a clown to cheep me up,
a preacher to remind me to stay close to God always,
and Daddy to be my pillar of strength……….

Thanks for always being at my back and call, I know I owe you a lot.
Promise I’ll get that automatic wheelchair for you if you ever need
one or get too lazy to walk…..”

91
“You always assure me that it’s okay to be me, & that I’m
beautiful inside and out, you teach me to spread my wings
out, you help me to fly.

92
You also see the best in people when they’re not doing so
well, like how you spotted the coral. No one would’ve
picked up the unwanted, the lost souls, the inmates, the
gays, the lesbians, the poor, the different, the troubled –
you have an amazing heart daddy for God & His
people……. I wanna be like that someday too.

93
You also see the best in people when they’re not doing so
well, like how you spotted the coral. No one would’ve
picked up the unwanted, the lost souls, the inmates, the
gays, the lesbians, the poor, the different, the troubled –
you have an amazing heart daddy for God & His
people……. I wanna be like that someday too.
Thank you for making me who I am today. I hope you’re
proud of your art piece (me) so far. I’m not done yet
though. Happy Father’s Day daddy. Stay strong. Love
you. Sarah. 15/6/14

94
Raising Godly Children
1. Godly values affect nations and generations
2. Live the values you want to teach.
3. Do not outsource parenting.
4. Your child is not exam marks.
5. Practise love-based parenting, not expectations-based
parenting.
6. Decide today how you want your children to remember
you.
7. Create memories in fun and creative ways.
8. Provide a happy and safe home for your children.
9. Teach them young. If not, others will.
10. Rules – Relationship = Rebellion; Rules + Relationship
= Response
11. Not just the “what”, but also the “why”.
12. Return to God’s design for marriage and family.

Raising godly children 19 jun 15

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Raising godly children 19 jun 15