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HARRY POTTER
I’m probably going to be
banned from publishing for
this: But Harry and his
wizardry didn’t fill me with
magic. And I know people who
hate reading yet devoured the
whole series with plodding
abandon.
I do love the story behind the
story: J.K. Rowling lives with
rats/ publisher’s tween reads
the manuscript/ bestseller is
born and Rowling can afford
pest-control etc. etc. But
Harry Potter… PAZZAM! May
you disappear from my
bookshelf.
THE 5 PEOPLE YOU MEET IN HEAVEN

            Now I love a hallmarky-self-help book as
            much as the next person, thus I am not
            judging those who consume Albom’s
            anthologies incessantly. 
            (OK, so my husband’s ex lists this on
            Facebook as her Most!! Favorite!!
            Book!! Ever!! … so maybe I am judging.) 
            But the way this was written drove me
            to boredom mid-sentence. And the
            sentences are pretty short:
               “And then Eddie stopped running. He heard
              something.”
            My suggestion? Condense it into a
            chapter for ‘Chicken Soup for the Soul
            version 5127’
THE ORPHAN MASTER’S SON
North Korea intrigues me. I am
mesmerized by their synchronized
marching. I mean, what is going on
there? What was Kim Jong Il up to? It is
just as well I’m not a journalist
otherwise I’d be trying to smuggle
myself in. 
So I held out a lot of hope for this book,
raved about by critics upon release. But
at 23% disappointment wore me down.
It just lacked a bit of DRAMA. I
paraphrase:
“One day the orphan was digging secret tunnels in
the dark like a ninja but his boots got wet and some
people snuck into Soul but then snuck back. The next
day some powerfulman came and instructed him he
                                                       NB: I am currently trying to convince my
was going to become a kidnapper. He went on a          husband to read this so he can impart any
boat and kidnapped”. 
                                 North-Korean insight. If you read it, please fill
                                                       me in on so I don’t have to smuggle myself
C’mon, get a thesaurus and insert some                 across multiple illegal borders.
emotion.
THE DRAGON TATTOO TRILOGY
              Here’s a better story: 
              One day our bookstore manager was away
              at the Bologna Book Fair and I was doing
              an amateur impersonation filling in. It
              was the peak of the Dragon Tattoo craze
              and I just couldn’t keep the titles in stock.
              People swooned; I thought one
              conservative-tattoo-averse-looking
              customer was going to faint as she
              described the stories. 
                  “Her heart went fast. Renee thought,
                        ‘This will be a good book’”
              (Sentence inspired by Mitch Albom, see
              previous slide.)
              I read the first of the trilogy, but it took
              me an echelon. Great premise, but I kept
              waiting to faint. Nothing.
THE GOURMET
Muriel Barbery’s “The Elegance of the
Hedgehog” is one of my Most!!
Favorite!! Books!! Ever!!. 
“The Gourmet” was actually written
first, and then republished on the
tidalwave of Hedgehog’s success.
Sadly, it isn’t worth a smidgen of
comparison. All it did was send me in
search of a carby meal to satisfy my
unfulfilled literary expectations.
If you haven’t read “The Elegance of
the Hedgehog” you must – but I
suggest trying Gourmet first. Maybe
you’ll get some enjoyment out of it
before your heuristics are reset by     Don’t be a fat
Hedgehog. 
                             hedgehog.

Your scales will thank you.

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QUIT LIT

  • 1. HARRY POTTER I’m probably going to be banned from publishing for this: But Harry and his wizardry didn’t fill me with magic. And I know people who hate reading yet devoured the whole series with plodding abandon. I do love the story behind the story: J.K. Rowling lives with rats/ publisher’s tween reads the manuscript/ bestseller is born and Rowling can afford pest-control etc. etc. But Harry Potter… PAZZAM! May you disappear from my bookshelf.
  • 2. THE 5 PEOPLE YOU MEET IN HEAVEN Now I love a hallmarky-self-help book as much as the next person, thus I am not judging those who consume Albom’s anthologies incessantly. (OK, so my husband’s ex lists this on Facebook as her Most!! Favorite!! Book!! Ever!! … so maybe I am judging.) But the way this was written drove me to boredom mid-sentence. And the sentences are pretty short: “And then Eddie stopped running. He heard something.” My suggestion? Condense it into a chapter for ‘Chicken Soup for the Soul version 5127’
  • 3. THE ORPHAN MASTER’S SON North Korea intrigues me. I am mesmerized by their synchronized marching. I mean, what is going on there? What was Kim Jong Il up to? It is just as well I’m not a journalist otherwise I’d be trying to smuggle myself in. So I held out a lot of hope for this book, raved about by critics upon release. But at 23% disappointment wore me down. It just lacked a bit of DRAMA. I paraphrase: “One day the orphan was digging secret tunnels in the dark like a ninja but his boots got wet and some people snuck into Soul but then snuck back. The next day some powerfulman came and instructed him he NB: I am currently trying to convince my was going to become a kidnapper. He went on a husband to read this so he can impart any boat and kidnapped”. North-Korean insight. If you read it, please fill me in on so I don’t have to smuggle myself C’mon, get a thesaurus and insert some across multiple illegal borders. emotion.
  • 4. THE DRAGON TATTOO TRILOGY Here’s a better story: One day our bookstore manager was away at the Bologna Book Fair and I was doing an amateur impersonation filling in. It was the peak of the Dragon Tattoo craze and I just couldn’t keep the titles in stock. People swooned; I thought one conservative-tattoo-averse-looking customer was going to faint as she described the stories. “Her heart went fast. Renee thought, ‘This will be a good book’” (Sentence inspired by Mitch Albom, see previous slide.) I read the first of the trilogy, but it took me an echelon. Great premise, but I kept waiting to faint. Nothing.
  • 5. THE GOURMET Muriel Barbery’s “The Elegance of the Hedgehog” is one of my Most!! Favorite!! Books!! Ever!!. “The Gourmet” was actually written first, and then republished on the tidalwave of Hedgehog’s success. Sadly, it isn’t worth a smidgen of comparison. All it did was send me in search of a carby meal to satisfy my unfulfilled literary expectations. If you haven’t read “The Elegance of the Hedgehog” you must – but I suggest trying Gourmet first. Maybe you’ll get some enjoyment out of it before your heuristics are reset by Don’t be a fat Hedgehog. hedgehog. Your scales will thank you.