The document is a scrapbook for an intimate relationship psychology course containing various chapters that discuss: 1) How social needs for affiliation, intimacy, and belonging explain why people form relationships and use social media. 2) The psychology of attraction, which is driven by proximity, reciprocity, and aimed at reproduction through sexual behavior. 3) How adult attachment forms the basis for true love in long-term partner choice through developing dependence and comfort with each other beyond physical attraction. 4) How differences in male and female communication styles can lead to conflicts as relationships transition from physical attraction to attachment after reproduction goals are met. Dissolution may result if this transition is not successfully navigated.

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Scrapbook for Intimate Relationship
Student, Modupe O Sarratt
Professor, Antonio V Laverghetta, PhD
Psychology 334 Section 7980
Created 12/05/2012
Revised 12/08/2012
Due 12/16/2012

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Content
Introduction 3
Chapter 1: The Need for Affiliation and Intimacy is the technology of the Facebook 3
Chapter 4: The psychology of attraction 4
Chapter 8: Adult Attachment is a true love for partner choice 5
Chapter 10: Communication and Conflict 6
Chapter 14: Dissolution 7
Conclusion 8
Reference 9

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Introduction
When people think about intimate relationships, the notion is that it involves people who knew
each other, fall in love, and have sex. The evolution of a relationship indicated that a relationship of any
sort is a need according to McClelland’s Three Theory of Needs, a need for affiliation, a need for
intimacy, and a need to belong. These three needs are shape by individual experience from comparing
ourselves to others to assert a position within a society is the need for social media technology such as,
the Online Dating Site that allow match making, and the Facebook for self-presentation and self-
disclosure. Social media technology, such as Facebook, allows for the opportunity for people to reach
out to others and disclosure information about themselves in orders to for individuals to have the needs
of affiliation, intimacy, and belonging met.
Chapter 1: The need for affiliation and Intimacy is the technology of the Facebook
The need for affiliation provides the motivation to seek the company of others especially in
times of fear and uncertainty. The need for intimacy provides the motivation to seek relationships of
depth. The need to belong leads to desire to form relationships of breadth and depth that complements
the need to be different. Ralph and Maureen Erber describe Intimate Relationship "The need for
affiliation, the need for intimacy, and the need to belong explain why people have friends, romantic
partner, and be part of a group" (Erber R & Erber M 2011 p7). Intimacy has been mediated with symbols
of affection such as flowers, love images and love letters. New and emerging technologies such as the
Facebook is seeing in terms of exchanging mutually activities as illustrated with this self-portray.
Interaction why money is not everything when it is impossible

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to live without money and money is in correlation with happiness; therefore, it is impossible to be happy
without money. Social psychologists suggest that attraction tends to be based on four factors, similarity,
physical attractiveness, proximity, and reciprocity. Besides, attraction with similarity and proximity
explains the reason for dating the girl next door.
Chapter 4: Psychology of Attraction
Psychology of attraction is the need for intimacy to reproduce that desire warm and close
communication with one person in particular to gain affection. For courtship, intimacy is the prelude for
marriage. The need for intimacy is for mating behavior the act of paying attention to somebody with a
view for romantic encounter. Psychology of attraction is the driven approaches for get-together with
proximity and reciprocity such as to date the girl next door, allure for secret relationship and others.
The course for attraction includes praise, agreement, similarity, and complimentary for
predicting dating intended for reproduction only. According to Encyclopedia Britannica, the goal of
attraction is “to maximize the representation of its own genetic characteristics in the next generation.
‘The dominant form of reproductive behavior for achieving this purpose is sexual.’” (Encyclopedia
Britannica 2010) At a beginning of a romantic relationship, trust is not an issue, but the readiness for
sexual activity to reproduce. Typically, attraction for young women involves the need to feel secure in
being loved in order to have sex. When finding Prince Charming, love comes first and then sex follows to
help carry on the species and live happily ever after. Example is, Prince Charles and Princess Diana.
(Bing 2012)

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Chapter 8: Adult Attachment is a true love for partner choice
While finding love again simply means happy relationship by similarity for dating equal or older
woman, such as in Prince Charles and Camilla Parker is the adult attachment for partner choice that is
based on true love not physical attraction. Adult attachment is the relationship satisfaction from need to
belong that leads to desire to form relationships of breadth and depth that complements the need to be
different with similarity, that is “we can still be individual from what we have in common” for true love.
(Self) According to Ralph and Maureen Erber, “those who felt they could depend on other tended to be
dating partner who felt similarly. Furthermore, those who were more comfortable with closeness
tended to be dating partners who felt they could depend on others and were much less likely to be
dating partners who worried about abandonment” (Erber R & Erber M 2011 p137)
Studies done by Simpson, Rholes, and Nelligan 1992 showed that adult attachment are more
likely “to seek and receive support” from their partner when “confronted with an anxiety-provoking
situation” and “securely attached women used their partner as a source of reassurance and comfort in
anxiety provoking task.” (Erber R & Erber M 2011 p136) The true love in adult attachment is by similarity
from intimacy for which partner look at one another as a “source of comfort” ” (Erber R & Erber M p8)
Adult attachment is the basis of similarity for making the change from physical attraction to connection
for true love in marriage oat “until death do us apart.” (King James Version) Adult attachment is a secure
relationship with affection.
(Africaw.com 2012)

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Chapter 10 Communication and Conflict
The physical attraction with intimacy to allure for reproduction requires adjustment after the
intended purpose were obtained. The style of communication for transferring physical attraction after
reproduction to attachment is confusing and is the cause of conflict in a marriage. Communication is the
key to any form of relationship to be successful in any type of relationship requires the understanding of
the language that applied. There are different ways in which men and women communicate the need
for intimacy and the need for affiliation. If communication were not properly communicated according
to their need with proper attitude, it leads to conflict. According to Ralph and Maureen Erber gender
and conflict is “he said, she said ‘women are from Paris, and men from Newark’” Conflict is a request for
a change. Take marriage for example, the process of a marriage communicated with physical attraction
require an oath “until death do us apart” that women take seriously as their wedding vows is the reason
while women stay in a relationship. While men only remember a vow that would say, “To obey” as the
means for staying in a relationship that it is very difficult to communicate the need for attachment once
the physical attraction for reproduction faded. The genetic factor for physical attraction is that it
diminishes after childbearing years or the menopausal for a woman. If physical attraction did not build
attachment once the needs for child rearing are met, it creates conflict in a relationship such as this
portray.
(The important of fighting 2010)

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Chapter 14: Dissolution
Gender differences account for many of the conflicts that arise between men and woman
because men and women simply differ along some very important dimensions. Anytime you have
individuals who are very different being asked to live in close proximity to one another, you are bound
to end up with conflict. According to Erber et al. (2011), “men and women seem to have a preference
for different types of activities. Men for example prefer physical pursuits, such as sexual activity,
whereas women prefer intimacy, sharing and building relationship." (Erber R & Erber M 2011 p 238)
The evolutionary approach to conflict is conflict is inevitable in a marriage for producing
offspring or reproductive marriage, for the reason that conflict is the means to transmit physical
attraction from reproduction to belong with attachment. Nevertheless, according to Ralph and Maureen
Erber, “attachment style has indirect implication for stability” to secure a relationship. When couple
unable to communicate make the transition in a marriage to attachment is the course for dissolution.
The method of communication for transition is by power and control as illustrated by Ralph and
Maureen in power and control wheel (Erber R & Erber M 2011 p211). Unsuccessful to subdue the other
using one of tactic or combination of tactics from the wheel is the cause for ending the marriage by
divorce. After a fail
marriage, it is possible to find love again; known a partner is having the right information. Today,
Information Technology such as the social media interaction provide one on one interaction that it

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possible to know a partner based on similarity. In addition, there are books that provide advice on
starting over. Again, knowledge is power.
Conclusion
Knowledge is power is the understanding of the type of relationship a partner is looking for and
what is involve. The notion that physical attraction for intimacy is the true love prevent to include
attachment and to belong after physical attraction achieved it purpose or faded. In addition, physical
attraction should be in lieu of reproduction meaning a partnership with an opportunity to attachment to
belong may help the disappointment associated with dissolution. If a partner, reason for intimacy is to
reproduce the chances is that attachment is a possibility after reproduction may help to navigate how to
build attachment once reproduction is achieved. Conflict in a relationship is a result from unable to build
attachment after reproduction. Like anything physical attraction is not forever once it achieved it is
purpose, by evolution physical attraction is associated with readiness to procreate is the puberty or the
youth that explain marriage. Attachment is the true love from infancy to adult for bonding, support,
security, and belong that is the same in adult relationship with partner by affiliation. The love between a
child and parent is attachment by affiliation that similar in adult relationship attachment by affiliation
from being a parent. Viewing intimacy for physical attraction need or require adjustment to transfer to
attachment is the best way to view marriage. Marriage is an opportunity to love but not the love that
last forever. Today, technology such as the Facebook provides a better chance for affiliation with
similarity to create a bond with an opportunity to evaluate a partner in the public opinion. Also, It
possible to inquiry about a partner in the Facebook, even check his or her background and ask what
other think about the two of you together, the tool is knowledge is power not influence by match
making. Facebook as a social network provide a broader view to know about a partner and to gain
knowledge. Let start with, "I saw you in the Facebook, I want to know you"

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Reference
Africaw.com Forum (2012) True love Image Attachment
http://www.africaw.com/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=60&stc=1&d=1254186002
Communication of Love Bing Images access (2012).
http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=communication+of+love&view=detail&id=2F9EDBF656
1EEB8D5C4AF379610ED4B71A686C5C
Erber, R. & Erber, M. W. (2011). Intimate Relationships: Issues, Theories, and Research. Boston, MA:
Allyn and Bacon
Image of love "two bunny"
http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=image+of+love&view=detail&id=BCF56EBB70D8EF7284
C918024649EBD870B11224&first=1
Power and Control Wheel Image by the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (2012) Board of
Trustees of Northern Illinois University
http://www.niu.edu/women/vas/powerandcontrolwheel.shtml
Princess Diana and Prince Charles – Bing Image Access 2012
http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=princess+diana+and+prince+charles&view=detail&id=7
C69069FB54C016290D737E78306774E6282D2F0&first=1
Reproductive Behavior (2010). Encyclopædia Britannica. Encyclopedia Britannica Deluxe
Edition. Chicago: Encyclopædia Britannica
The importance of fighting in a marriage January 18, (2010) By Mandy
http://www.sincemydivorce.com/importance-of-fighting-marriage/
Tinmanon13.tumblr.com Image access 2012
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_llyzrykwwP1qbykhr.jpg
Gray John, PhD "Image" Mars and Venus Starting Over Finding Love Again After a Painful Breakup,
Divorce, or the Loss of a Loved One