1. Copy editing IV
Review biker story
Learn to trim the fat:
wordiness, clichés, jargon
How to cut news and feature stories
down to size.

2. Trimming the fat
 Cut vague qualifiers:
very
really
truly
extremely
somewhat
quite
rather
currently
 “Substitute the word „damn‟ every time you‟re
inclined to write „very‟; your editor will delete it and
the writing will be as it should be.” – Mark Twain

3. Avoid redundancy
Her annual salary was $29,000 a
year.
The meeting happened at 10 a.m.
in the morning.
Haligonians are currently
experiencing their worst winter in
history.

4. Lay off adjectives/adverbs
 They are usually unnecessary
 Often express an opinion
Not: It was not until Monday that university
officials finally released the report.
But: University officials released the report
Monday.
Not: Upon hearing about the frivolous lawsuit,
the mayor made it quite clear that she plans
to fight the outrageous suit.
But: Upon hearing about the lawsuit, the mayor
said she plans to fight it.
Source: Reporting for the Media

5. Clichés
 Definition: “A phrase or opinion that is
overused and betrays a lack of original
thought.”
 Recognize and avoid tired phrases:
lodge a complaint
sweep under the rug
got off to a good start
made their way home
 Don‟t stretch the truth for the sake of a cliché:
Did the fire really “sweep through the
building”?
 Watch for mixed clichés:
The test is easy; it‟s not rocket surgery.

6. Mixed metaphors
 Metaphor: “A figure of speech in which a
word or phrase is applied to an object/action
to which it is not literally applicable.”
Ex: The wheels of justice turn slowly.
She was lost in a sea of people.
 Mixed metaphor:
All at once, he was alone in this noisy hive
with nowhere to roost.
The subject of global warming is clouded in a
sea of research.

7. Jargon
 Abstract technical terms that confuse
readers.
 Academic jargon:
“A multiple linear regression equation
predicting cumulative GPA using 10
predictors accounted for 56% of the
variance in academic achievement while
a logistic equation predicting retention
rates was not statistically significant.”

8. Jargon
Medical jargon:
lacerations = cuts
contusions = bruises
sutures = stitches

9. Jargon
Police jargon:
Not: “Identification of the victim is
being withheld pending notification
of his next of kin.”
But: Police are withholding the
victim‟s name until the family has
been notified.
-Reporting for the Media

10. Jargon
 Business/political jargon/buzzwords:
“optimize workflow”
“paradigm shift”
“strategic alliances”
“price point”
“seamless integration”
“synergize”

11. In-class exercise
 Cut down a story about the use of social
media in the provincial leadership
campaign.

12. Cutting stories down to size
 When you‟re on deadline, look for entire
sentences or sections to cut.
 If the story is in inverted pyramid style, can the
ending be cut?
 Consider audience – what is most
important/interesting to them? What is the
real news? At what point does attention drift?
 Use quotes more economically.
 Cut background, extra examples.
 Consider cutting sources if can still maintain
balance.

13. In-class exercise
Cut a 500-word story down to around 400
words
 Look for sections to cut, as opposed to
words and phrases.
 Correct CP style issues, highlighting words
you have corrected
 Paste major cuts at bottom of story.
 Please print and hand in.