This document provides an agenda and guidance for writing personal statements for college applications. It discusses the purpose and prompts for UC application essays, including addressing two prompts within a 1000 word limit. Students are guided through brainstorming exercises to generate content for the essays, focusing on qualities, talents, accomplishments, contributions, experiences, and intended major. Common mistakes to avoid are also outlined, such as being too general, repetitive, or stretching the truth. The document introduces workshop faculty who will provide small group and individual help with essay writing.

1. Application Essays: How to
write a personal statement

2. AGENDA
Overview
Options and Goals
The website
Getting started
Prompt 2
Writing exercise
Transfer prompt 1
Writing exercise
The Common Application
Small group work: Brainstorming,
revision, and editing support

3. Before you write, consider
both your options and your
goals.

4. How UCs use your statements
To discover and evaluate distinctions
among applicants whose academic records
are often very similar.
To gain insight into your level of academic,
personal, and extracurricular achievement.
To provide information that may not be
evident in other parts of the application

5. The Purpose of the Statement
Your personal statement should add to the
application information you have already
provided. Consider what you can say that
adds the following information:
Clarity – a richer perspective of your life,
experiences, and/or accomplishments
Depth – details into your application
(academics or extra-curricular’s)
Context – sharing details on your home,
school, or community

6. According to the
University of California
Website, your
application for fall 2015
is due November 1-30
The Goal

7. The UC Personal Statement
There are two prompts
You must address both within the
1,000 word limit. You may allocate
the word count as you wish, but the
shorter answer should be no fewer
than 250 words.
View this portion of the application
as a personal interview

8. The UC Statement Prompts:
Statement #1:
What is your intended major? Discuss how your interest in the
subject developed and describe any experience you have had in
the field – such as volunteer work, internships and employment,
participation in student organizations and activities – and what
you have gained from your involvement.
Statement #2:
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment,
contribution or experience that is important to you. What about
this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it
relate to the person you are?

10. Respond to each of the following prompts to generate
fodder for your personal statement:
Personal Quality: Identify one important quality about yourself. For example,
you might be compassionate, honorable, kind, or a really great friend. After
you identify your quality, write an anecdote (tell a short story) that illustrates
what you mean.
Talent: this could be athletic, musical, or intellectual. After you settle on your
greatest talent, tell a short story that illustrates when this talent became
obvious to you or others.
Accomplishment; What goal have you reached in your life? Are you an
Eagle scout? a black belt? A leader? What have you worked at hard to
achieve? Once you figure it out, tell a short story about the journey to that
achievement and how you felt when you finally reached your goal.

11. Contribution: What have you done for others? This could be a
family, school, or community contribution. Are you in student
government? Did you family have an emergency or situation where
your help was very important? Have you done volunteer work for the
community? Once you have identified your contribution, write an
anecdote about what you did and how you felt about it.
Important Experience: Have you had an important experience in
your life? Think about moments of great realization; they often follow
important experiences. This could be a relationship experience, an
illness or injury, and encounter with a stranger, or a moment on an
athletic field. Any time you said to yourself ” wow, I won’t do that
again” or “Hey, I totally get this now” is a potential experience to
investigate. Once you figure out which one to write about, do so.
Make sure to include your epiphany.

12. Drafting the second
half of your essay

13. “what makes you proud” about
what you choose to write about?
 Pride is not usually an attractive quality. It suggests that you are, at best,
self-satisfied and worthy of admiration. At worst, it makes you appear
narcissistic and smug. It implies you are the one winner in a sea of losers.
 Humility can serve the purpose of showcasing your admirable qualities or
experiences just as well. It is really how you frame your qualities or
experiences that will cast you in a likable light. Instead of asserting that
your accomplishment or talent “made you proud,” focus on including
your insights, thoughts, and opinions about what you valued or
learned through your experience.
 Take a few minutes to note your insights, thoughts, and opinions.

14. “how does [your event] relate to
the person you are?”
 Think about how this quality, event, accomplishment, talent,
contribution, or experience reflects who you are or who you have
become because of it. Consider these questions:
1. What have I learned?
2. What do I value from this experience and why?
3. How have I changed?
4. What skills have I improved upon?
5. What do I think and feel now?
6. How has it helped me see or shape my future.

16. This essay will likely be shorter than essay #2. 300-400
words will suffice for this one about your intended field of
study. Remember, it must be at least 250 words.
Consider this essay your love story: Tell
the tale of how you first met, the initial
attractions, and the passion that inspires
you. Use anecdotes and examples to
share a moment or quality between you
and your one love; convince your reader
that you are committed to a life together.

17. Answer these questions to
generate fodder for your essay:
1. What is your intended major?
2. How did your interest in the subject develop?
3. Describe any experience you have in the field:
jobs, internships, volunteer work, clubs and other
student organizations, and course work (practical
experience, working with your instructor, or
research projects .
4. What have you gained from your involvement.
How has it inspired or motivated you to pursue
your goals in this field?
5. What do you want to do in the future? Do you plan
to go to graduate school?

18. The Common Application
The Common App includes essays that
are universally agreed upon by the
member colleges. The Common
Application for the 2015-16 academic
year went “live” on Aug. 1,
2014. Students who use the Common
Application will be able to create a
personalized account by going to the
website: www.commonapp.org

19. The Common Application
Transfer Prompt
“Please provide a
statement that addresses
your reasons for
transferring and the
objectives you hope to
achieve.” (250-650 words)

20. Address the two main
questions:
1. What are your reasons for
transferring?
2. What objectives (goals) do
you hope to achieve?

21. Before you begin writing:
1. List the core or defining qualities that make you
think you will be effective in your major.
2. Recall and jot down your memories of specific
moments in your life that sparked your interest in
your field.
3. Highlight the positive experiences you have had at De Anza; use those as
a springboard to explain why you want more of those at your next school.
Stay positive. List three positive features of De Anza concerning your
major. Then list three more that your new school will have (this must
necessarily be general because multiple schools will receive this essay).
4. Now, write a short anecdote (based on an experience, incident, or
moment) that will show the reader one of the defining qualities you
noted in step one. Then explain how that quality has driven you down the
path to your major and your new University or College. If you did this
exercise for UC Essay 2, you may already have fodder for this essay.

22. Sample Outline for the
Common Application Essay
1. Introduction: An anecdote from #4 on the previous slide—a quality that drives you
to your major.
2. Background: Provide examples of positive earlier experiences with your subject.
3. Content: Share positive academic/intellectual experiences from De Anza, using
specific examples.
4. Transition into the main reason you are ready to move on and into the new school.
5. Objectives: Discuss how you will find success in your intended major in your new
school. What do you want to learn? What do you see yourself doing with your
degree?
6. Conclusion: End with a sentence or two that projects your goals into the future.
What do you believe a degree in your major will allow you to do: consider yourself,
your family, your community, and the world.

23. Avoid These Common
Mistakes

24. Avoid Common Mistakes
Don’t be campus specific! One application serves multiple
schools.
Don’t use inappropriate humor.
Don’t decide to turn your essay into a poem or dialogue.
Don’t use quotations –Your thoughts are important; you
only have 1000 words. Don’t waste them on someone
else’s.
Don’t include multiple topics – each question should be
answered with one topic. You cannot go into depth when
you talk about multiple topics.

25. Avoid Common Mistakes Cont.
Avoid Generalities – stick to facts and specifics to
describe yourself.
Avoid Repetition – do not talk about the same topic in
each response. Provide information not included in other
sections of the application.
Skip Hard-luck stories without a purpose - you do not
need to overcome a challenge to gain admission to
college, so do not make one up.
Don’t Stretch the truth – just be honest. Most lies reveal
themselves.

26. Introductions to
Workshop Faculty

27. Dr. Becky Roberts
Dr. Roberts has been part of the English
Department at De Anza since 2002
 Ph.D. Literature, University of California, Santa Cruz
 M.A. Literature, University of California San Diego
 B.A. Music and English/writing, University of
California San Diego
 She teaches Nineteenth Century American
Literature, Latin American Literature, World
Mythology, World Literature, and
Composition.

28. Dr. Karen Chow
 Dr. Chow has been part of the English
Department at De Anza since 2002
 Ph.D., English, U.C. Santa Barbara
 M.A., English, U.C. Santa Barbara
 B.S. with minor in English, University of Southern
California
 She teaches composition and literature classes,
and is involved with a number of committees and
activities that aim to promote multicultural
understanding and appreciation on campus. Her
interests are in English, Women’s Studies, and
Asian-American Studies

29. Ms. Rene Anderson-Watkins
Ms. Anderson Watkins joined the English
Department in Spring 2012.
 Masters in English San Jose State University
 Masters in Education Virginia Commonwealth
University
She teaches both composition and literature.
Her interests include British Literature:
Beowulf to Milton and African American
Literature.
She also serves as a Faculty Representative
on Academic Senate.

30. Mr. James Nguyen
Mr. Nguyen has been at De Anza in the
Political Science department since 2009.
 Juris Doctorate: Santa Clara University
 BA Political Science: UC Berkeley
Before coming to De Anza, Mr. Nguyen was
a personal statement counselor for private
companies, and he was a community college
transfer to a UC. His main focus is on
student success and empowerment on
campus and in our community. He is a
second-generation Vietnamese-American
born and raised in the Bay Area.

31. Ms. Veronica Avila
Ms. Avila joined De Anza college as a
counselor in 1999. She has been with the
Reading Department since 2009.
 MA Counseling: Santa Clara University
 BA Psychology: UC Santa Cruz
 Post-Secondary Reading Credential: SF State
Ms. Avila currently teaches READ 200 and
READ 211. She is a mother and a runner.
She has two kids and two marathons to her
credit.

32. Ms. Marcy Betlach
Ms. Betlach has been teaching
ESL at De Anza for 19 years.
 MA: TESOL San Jose State University
 BA: Communications Washington State
University
She teaches multiple ESL courses,
including those that focus on
listening/speaking, reading, and
writing. That is her dog, TJ.

33. If you would like to stay for small group/ individual
help with your essays, we invite you to do so. It
doesn’t matter if you have a near perfect essay or if
you just have the writing from today. You can
choose the kind of help you get.
Brainstorming:
Revision Strategies:
Editing Help:
All three are vital steps in writing your essay!